Protected Sea Lions shot dead. OH THE HUGE MANATEE	(5)
(cracked)		9 devices that are clearly compensating for something	(52)
		Contract to develop little robotic spiders for U.S. Army awarded. With pics. Cool tag wins over scary, cause sometimes scary is cool	(41)
		How do you send a spacecraft into the million-degree corona of the sun? Go at night, of course	(27)
		British university has launched a Masters degree in 'cyberpsychology' which tries to understand why fat, balding truckers from Idaho pretend to be hot women on the internets	(35)
(Some Guy)		I control the spices, I control the universe	(31)
		Researchers at Xerox have created paper that erases itself after 24 hours. Perfect for all your stalking celebrities needs	(26)
(Some Guy)		Some people never gave up Mario Paint; 10 creative music compilations that will never let you down	(38)
		Twenty ways to live to be 100. Keeping whippersnappers off your lawn did not make the list, but reading Fark is sort of #19	(18)
		Some scientist you never heard of has figured out why there's a surge in shark attacks this year: Global warming	(221)
		Each year, 50 times as much work goes into playing with Legos as into the entire Wikipedia project	(27)

		Scientists plan to recreate the Big Bang with the seven thousand ton Atlas detector. This is the sort of experiment that often gives scientists a bad name	(74)
		How David Blaine held his breath for 17 minutes. Even more amazing is how he managed to shut the hell up for 17 minutes	(73)
		Behold, Volvo's amazing vision of the future: The injury-proof car	(69)
(Inquirer)		Apple's backdoor shenanigans pay off. Bundling Safari with iTunes results in three-fold increase in market share	(98)
		Behold the epic awesomeness of the world's largest foosball table. Up to 22 players can take part in the foosball match to end all foosball matches	(29)
		Expert sees peanut allergy solution within 5 years. Fiesta Mix surrenders	(28)
		Fark may have to brace for the conflict that it never wished to fight: squirrel vs. robo-squirrel	(10)
		Inflatable dolls, not content with being girlfriends, now want to save lives too	(14)

		Downgraded from "good idea" to "crime against humanity," biofuels rebound all the way to "something no one should invest in."	(136)
		A superheavy element – heavier than anything previously found in nature or made in the lab – exists naturally in the rocks of Earth. Is it the fuel of UFOs and antigravity?	(105)
(BFF Jill)		Scientist claims IM is a seprarate language. O RLY?	(41)
(Wordspy)		Mullet: First it's a fish, then a haircut, now an Internet strategy to dupe the rubes	(17)
		Battle royale of the solar system's major satellites for the title of Awesomest Moon. With chart. The winner is off-limits to landing	(25)
		"Earth's interior a lot like chunky peanut butter"	(27)
		Take a sweater and your thong, We don't know how this is going to turn out yet	(22)
		Metal Gear Solid 4 or: How I Learned to Stop playing 360 and optimize the PS3 (before and after shots)	(75)
(Some Guy)		What a "toned down" version of Grand Theft Auto IV would look like	(55)
(Some Guy)		There's oil in Afghanistan, we need to start a war or something there... wait, what? Ah, how convenient	(18)
(Some Guy)		Universal Translator technology may be possible. Your cat has a strongly worded message for your dog	(38)
		According to TV and the movies, there are basically four styles of clothing you'll wear in the future, and three of them will be really uncomfortable	(96)
(The Deal)		Yu-Gi-Oh No: Atari gets bought for a jawbreaker and a pack of envelopes	(43)
		Grand Theft Auto IV music man discusses the process of choosing 214 of the best songs for running, stealing, fighting and beating up hookers	(209)
		RIAA sends huge surge of copyright infringement notices to universities--but no corresponding file-sharing logs exist. "We don't know why they are doing this and I'm not sure they know what they are doing."	(86)
		Female sex hormones may help prevent brain damage in people who suffer serious head injuries, according to scientists. Possible side effects may include loss of parking skills, the ability to detect dirt	(24)
		Fungus a threat to amphibians, Paris Hilton's reproductive system	(6)
(Some Guy)		Does this wavelength make you horny, baby?	(8)
		Rare giant worms found far from their prairie home. Local residents advised to remain still or stock up on dynamite	(41)
		X-Play's Adam Sessler PWNS Jack Thompson on NPR	(129)
(Space Ref)		NASA invites people to join the lunar exploration journey with an opportunity to send their names to the moon aboard the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter. Jack Meoff, Seymour Butts not available for comment	(39)
		The slickest little electric concept car you'll see this week. Bonus: It's a Bentley	(25)
(KTAR)		Hungry rats: 1. Interwebs: 0	(18)

(Some Guy)		Ugly-ass "dwarf cloud rat" rediscovered after 112 years (pic)	(53)
(Some BBQer)		If you really want to grill like a man, you might consider the Hemi-powered V8 grill (with awesome pic)	(30)
		BBQ grill melts during Consumer Reports testing. That's a ●	(51)
(Some Guy)		The $70,000 Nissan GT-R posts the second fastest lap time ever on the Nurburgring, trailing only the $900,000 Pagani Zonda by 2 seconds	(127)
(UniverseToday)		As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?	(68)
(Some G Man)		Federal Agent says US Military's proposed Pain Ray Gun is really a Death Ray in disguise. Marvin the Martian wanted for questioning	(56)
(What The ??)		Are you too dumb to pick up SMS abbreviations? Well, here's a dictionary	(52)
		Everybody is a bigot. We can't help it, it's part of being a successfully evolved primate. Which leaves out Donald Trump	(298)
		Remote control R2D2 includes an HD projector. Comes with a Millenium Falcon remote control. No word on if it's followed around by an effeminite gold robot with a british accent	(41)
		An analysis of why extraterrestrial life is bad news for humans	(143)
(Some Guy)		Quantum encryption cracked, or still uncracked, or existing in a cracked-uncracked state	(39)
		Wil weighs in on GTA IV "controversy"	(112)
		AOL, RealNetworks and Yahoo could owe songwriters $100 million in royalties. For those of you having trouble envisioning that figure, it's a loooooooot of frickin' money	(35)
(VGB)		Dial the gate! Incoming wormhole from the Stargate Worlds beta	(69)
		3 out of 4 mothers breast feed their ugly ass baby humans	(54)
(WND)		Trying to shed its image of lunatic diaper-clad astronauts, NASA now in business of helping evangelists predict Jesus' Second Coming. (w/cool pics)	(119)
		10 PRINT "Happy Birthday", 20 GOTO 10: Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday	(114)
		Parents are less strict with younger siblings, says recent study that will be cited ad nauseum by your older brother	(45)
		HDTV to be dirt cheap next month	(106)
		New apple bred to not go brown when it's cut; named "Enchanted," which narrowly beat out "Creepy"	(23)
(Some Guy)		Google to release 3D Maps of the oceans. You know, in case you're lost, underwater, and alone. So very alone	(38)
		One more way video games are becoming the new movies: GTA IV cost $100 million to make	(63)
		Want to stop allergies? Get a dog	(36)

(Xinhua)		Scientists prove existence of theoretical fourth circuit element, the memristor. Now searching for fifth element, multipass	(30)
(Science Daily)		Washington Irving was right. A is the scarlet letter	(43)
(Some NASA Guy)		Today, NASA-funded researchers released to the general public a new "4D" live model of Earth's ionosphere. Without leaving home, anyone can now fly through the layer of ionized gas that encircles Earth at the edge of space itself	(10)
		Headline: "Ben Stein's fall from disgrace"	(132)
(Some stumbler)		Coolest pic of space penis/dinosaur/constellation you'll see today. (SFW) What do you see? voting ON	(87)
		Not news: Man grows finger. News: It had been sliced off and mysteriously grew back. Fark: In four weeks	(77)
(Crackberry.com)		Why the Blackberry is better than the iPhone	(58)
		Ben Stein: "Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people"	(245)
		It's true: women really do have a harder time losing weight than men	(202)
		Girl, already living in Ca., lured to Hollywood, FLORIDA by MySpace stranger who promises to make her a star. With kids this dumb, the pervs don't even have to try anymore	(77)
(PhysOrg)		German climate scientists: We don't dispute global warming, so just ignore that global cooling we're predicting over the next decade	(133)
(Tom's Hardware Guide)		Good idea: Microsoft didn't hand out a secret back door key. Bad idea: they handed out publicly available tools that take down all of Windows' security. Now, it's Mime Time	(32)
		World's largest chimpanzee enclosure to open in Scotland. And we used to just call it "Glasgow"	(15)
		De Beers finds shipwreck off the coast of Namibia laden with treasure from the 1500s	(42)
		TV Show Face-Off: "Lost" vs. "Battlestar Galactica"	(205)
		Most anticipated comic book super hero movie in years expected to suffer at box office since everyone who cares will be in their parents' basement beating up hookers	(78)
		World Wide Web inventor says the Internet is still in its infancy. GranniesSpankingSpanishMen.com begs to differ	(21)
		In a move encouraging the videotaping children in public, British crossing guards issued video cameras. When asked for his thoughts, a crossing guard replied, "At my house, I have Xbox and Skittles"	(43)
(Some Guy)		The official "Grand Theft Auto IV" day-after discussion thread (LIKELY SPOILERS)	(274)
(Some Guy)		TechCrunch works with Paramount to set up a private screening of "Iron Man" -- only to be served with a C&D by Marvel	(12)
(Official Microsoft Forum)		If you use Microsoft RMS at work, do not install WinXP SP3 until Microsoft figures out why it breaks their own retail management program	(11)
(Some Guy)		MADD wants "Grand Theft Auto IV" rated AO due to in-game drunk driving	(290)
		Gasping for air as it lurches across the finish line, T-Mobile set to roll out 3G tomorrow. Bonus: It's voice 3G only	(21)
		Forbes Magazine's "Ten things you should know about Grand Theft Auto." Written by some idiot that picked up news reports, hearsay, disinformation and shoddy reasoning... everything but a controller	(123)
		Let's celebrate. It's the 30th anniversary of spam. Not Spam, the other spam	(16)
		Brain traning games is good for you're inteligance	(26)
		Electric nail files and laser-guided scissors are officially the most pointless inventions ever, according to a poll of people who have never seen the automated DVD rewinder	(33)
(Some flying lover)		Flying remote-controlled jellyfish. Yes, you read that right, a flying jellyfish	(46)
(Some Guy)		Scientists discover the cause of bar fights: After alcohol exposure, threat-detecting brain circuits can’t tell the difference between threatening and non-threatening behaviors	(32)
		Anthropologist Maurice Bloch explains why religion is "a figment of the human imagination." Your priest wants a second opinion	(226)

(Some Guy)		Fox to release major motion picture based on video game no one has even played	(63)
		Matt Damon declines to lend voice and likeness to new Bourne videogame because it's "too violent." So obviously he never cashed those checks for Private Ryan, Syriana, The Departed, and Mr. Ripley, right?	(31)
		Now that he's played the game, Langston Wertz Jr. gives four stars out of four to GTA:4	(33)
(Cracked)		The seven commandments all video games should obey. Not letting Uwe Boll turn them into movies disturbingly absent	(68)
		Museums have a hard time teaching science to a country filled with people who think the Earth was created 5,000 years ago	(206)
(Some Guy)		How would you feel if your realtor gave the cops a key to your home “just in case?” Well, Microsoft is doing just that	(43)
(Geekology)		Coolest pics of a 3,800HP motorcycle you'll see all day	(11)
(Popular Mechanics)		With gas prices climbing, GM suddenly remembers vintage gas engine technology that could've had us running farther and cleaner over 30 years ago	(43)
(DSL reports)		Hot Belgian woman offers sex if you support network neutrality (w/ pic)	(57)
		XP update delayed over glitch. Will release service pack once they have this whole stapler incident resolved	(31)
		You know that friend who tried absinthe in Europe and claimed it was sooo awesome? Scientists now say your friend is a liar	(77)
		Scientists create self-regenerating robot that's obviously going to kill us all	(33)
		The property-rights-loving head of San Diego's GOP founded a warez group during the 80s and peddled video-game-console copiers	(57)
		Apple announces iPhones to be sold in Canada after agreeing to alter the codecs to insert "eh" after every third word	(42)
		Scientists find "legless lizard." Psssst... guys, those are called "snakes"	(114)
		That game you were looking forward to playing when you got home from work, maybe you should wait a week or two. Maybe spend a little bit more time in Vice City	(201)
(Mac|Life)		Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's "Business Leadership and Digital Innovation for Future Graduates" presentation, proudly running on a Mac (with pic)	(54)
		YouTube caves to Scientologists, gives them own channel	(218)
		You know that giant squid they caught and froze? The half-ton one with the 30-foot long tenatacles lined with razor-sharp hooks? It was probably the runt of the litter	(124)
		"Spam King" gets 21 months in federal prison, will become "Sausage King"	(45)
(Some Guy)		The official "Grand Theft Auto IV" release thread	(559)
(iF Magazine)		Before you skip school (or work) and pull an all night, Mountain Dew laced bender with the release of "GTA IV," check out the best moments of the "GTA" series so far (with vids)	(43)
		Top 11 problems with having an iron suit. Crotch rust surprisingly absent from list	(44)
(Oddee)		The top 10 coolest Lego creations you'll see today, including a working difference engine	(26)
		If war ever breaks out in space, it will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it	(44)
		Israel's military shows off robotic soldier. Army officials hope to avoid having it hit by lightning, lest it go off searching for "input"	(173)
		First look at the sleestaks of the new "Land of the Lost" movie	(81)
		Online companies set to feast on $42 billion of revenue left over after the demise of the newspaper industry	(19)
(Neatorama)		Meet five people who were doing it wrong	(21)
		Bill Murray recording new dialogue for the new upcoming "Ghostbusters" video game	(40)
		The bacterium that causes syphilis evolved into a more benign form because it was making its victims too ugly to have sex with and hindering its own transmission	(21)
(Pharyngula)		Molecular biology for Christians. It's just like regular science, but now with 100 percent more Jesus	(141)
(American Spectator)		The SmartCar is about the same price as a Yaris, seats only two people, only gets 4 mpg more, and crumples like a wad of Klenex in a 16-year old's hand after discoveing his dad's stash of Penthouse	(137)

(Science Daily)		Today's bone-chilling headline: 'Tiny radio antennas' under skin could act as remote sensors of humans' emotional, physiological state	(18)
		Intel teams up with Cray to develop new line of supercomputers, find Sarah Connor	(25)
(NASASpaceflight)		Small problem develops in the plan to use Russian Soyuz capsules after the shuttle retires - The last two landings nearly killed everyone on board	(26)
		Where is "Tron Guy" now? Attending ROFLCon, of course	(24)
(cNet)		Teh tubes: where Ron Paul is president, "Snakes on a Plane" was the greatest movie evarrr, and Twitter is a raging success	(17)
		Your brain has the RAM equivalent of a Commodore 64. Article may have said some other stuff, too	(43)
		From the "better late than never" file: "'Rock Band' is great fun with friends." As opposed to playing all the instruments together by yourself	(63)
		"Grand Theft Auto" proves, yes Virginia, there is sex in the champagne room	(328)
		We've replaced the trauma patients' real blood with a FDA-approved blood-substitute product. Let's see if they noti ..... [ack] ...... [thud]	(24)
		Is religion a necessary consequence of imagination? Here comes the science	(179)
		AMD has unveiled its first computer brand, aimed at small- and medium-sized businesses, with help from Dell	(15)
		Google's new technology will make image search more accurate, less fun	(24)
		4 out of 7 computer repair techs cannot fix unseated RAM. Shockingly, 3 out of 7 could	(324)
		The coolest video of a 1:5 scale A-10 Warthog you'll see this week. Bonus: The real thing shows up, too	(41)
		People figuring out the only way to get service from Comcast is to whine about it online	(104)
		UPS employees steal copies of "GTA IV" en route to retailers	(146)
		This week's Daily Mail story about the evils of cannabis is -- shakes magic 8-ball -- "Cannabis is making our teenagers impotent." Won't someone think of the poor horny children?	(67)
		German study confirms: Smart women are horrible lays	(642)
		Five hundred years ago, Leonardo da Vinci sketched out a design for a parachute. A few days ago, a Swiss man tested it	(22)
(Some Guy)		Geek forum from 1999 speculates and comments on upcoming LOTR movies as cast is announced. Danny DeVito? Perfect Bilbo. Elijah Wood? NOOOOO	(34)
		You can now get a "brain pacemaker" that will fight off depression, assuming you don't get depressed at the thought of a foreign machine ticking away in your head	(33)
		Largest giant squid ever caught to be defrosted. World's finest calamari chefs on standby	(24)
(Some Guy)		The 638-horsepower 2009 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 has made a certified 205-mph top-speed run in Papenburg, Germany. Penis	(68)