| One of first five people to work for Microsoft leaves 65 million dollars to AIDS charity | (15) | ||
| The cutest ugly ass orangutan twins you'll see in 40 years (check out second baby pic) | (18) | ||
| (Information Week) | IBM measures the force required to move a single atom at 17 piconewtons, about 2 billion times easier than picking up a penny | (11) | |
| If you are reading this on a Samsung P10 notebook computer you might want to get it off your lap | (50) | ||
| It's not just YouTube, Pakistan turns off their Internet | (35) | ||
| Add Pakistan to the list of countries in which you can't access YouTube. And you thought that your country was a Nanny State | (7) | ||
| Top 10 worst hereditary conditions. Small peener strangely absent fom list | (47) | ||
| NUDAR turns your GPS into a Boobies finder. Finally a practical use for one of these things | (11) | ||
| Canada's largest cell provider will not create an unlimited voice plan because "it is best for the consumer" | (33) | ||
| Virgin uses coconut oil to ease into Amsterdam. The Sun is there | (9) | ||
| (Some Sculptor) | Some of the coolest paper sculptures you'll see in the next 26 minutes | (53) | |
| Japanese researchers claim yogurt consumption benefits the gums. Giant beakers, uniforms may enhance effect | (13) | ||
| Combination of caffeine and alcohol improves outcomes in stroke victims. American Heart Association now advocates a diet rich in Red Bull and vodka | (23) | ||
| According to NASA, there are now 9,000 pieces of orbiting junk including pliers, cameras, rocket launchers, a glove and over 200 dead satellites. Fred Sanford enroute | (109) |
| Doctors describe cases of Nintendinitis, Wii-itis, and Wii-tastrophes. Unexpected bonus: Wii-habilitation cures patient's frozen shoulder without surgery | (9) | ||
| 7 uses for your newly obsolete Xbox 360 HD-DVD player | (59) | ||
| (APOD in 3D!) | Old & busted: U2 3D. New hotness: ISS 3D | (13) | |
| Bored chemistry students blow a load of tiny bubbles all over their bench. The ghost of Don Ho is not amused | (13) | ||
| (Science Daily) | Your computer sees your "O" face | (9) | |
| (Some Fatty) | Why does a Big Mac cost less than a salad, when it's actually more expensive to eat? Here comes the science | (42) | |
| Google launches Chewbacca defense in EU privacy debate: "IP addresses are never personal except when they are" | (6) | ||
| Researcher claims he has found the Ark of the Covenant in this "shaggy Ark" story. Don't look at it, no matter what happens | (77) | ||
| Global warming is more of a threat than terrorism. This from the ultimate group of liberal tree-huggers, the Pentagon | (24) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Aliens might be moving stars to communicate/fark with us | (42) | |
| Lawsuit against Microsoft for labeling some PC's as "Vista capable" when there was no way in hell they could run anything but the most basic version of the OS allowed to proceed | (67) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Google announces a lunar X prize: $30 million for a machine that sends video back from the moon. No word on the prize for a machine that sends back video from a soundstage in Arizona | (50) | |
| (Some Guy) | Virginia Tech student designs LED lamp that gets all of its power from gravity. Tah Daah | (76) | |
| People insist on drinking raw milk even though the federal government says it will kill you | (52) | ||
| Dedicated batteries for Macbook Air may hurt sales. But that would be implying that Apple would sacrifice function for form. And that's just ridiculous | (41) | ||
| The tubes just got a little bit bigger | (33) | ||
| From the Romero newswire: Internet radio sites like Pandora can help you find new music | (19) | ||
| Famed microbiologist on teaching evolution: don't start until college. Billy Joel is not gonna like this | (186) |
| (Some Guy) | Nerdgasm Alert: Why hang Han Solo frozen in carbonite on a wall when you can make him into a perfectly good desk? | (26) | |
| US opens internment camp in Azeroth | (58) | ||
| (Some Guy) | The myth of James Randi's Million Dollar Challenge | (102) | |
| As scientists try to solve the mystery of dying bees, it becomes more and more clear that nature is awesomely complex and totally tubular | (19) | ||
| (s.b.) | E equals MC not so fast | (37) | |
| Japanese astronaut to test high tech boxer shorts in space and isn't allowed to bathe for two weeks. Effects of space jock rash and space shame will also be studied | (17) | ||
| Astronomers find black hole that actually sucks more than your favorite band | (19) | ||
| PS3 sucks so bad it's being used for... wait, thats actually really cool. When's this coming out again? | (49) | ||
| Arizona to become the "Persian Gulf of Solar Energy." Hopefully one with fewer explosions | (109) | ||
| (b.t.) | 50 reasons to switch from a Mac to a PC, or, 50 ways to pick a fight with a hipster | (199) | |
| Laser technology being developed to detect diseases in patients breath, fill house with popcorn | (17) | ||
| Bill Gates sees diminished role for keyboards, much to the disappointment of fans hoping for a return to his 80s sound | (31) | ||
| LOAD "Wii to offer Commodore 64 games on virtual console",8,1: | (138) | ||
| Astronomers calculate Earth will burn to a cinder in 7.6 billion years. You can PANIC later | (28) | ||
| Nanny continent moving to internet censorship | (47) | ||
| Old and busted: invasion of Africanized honey bees. New hotness: invasion of Burmese pythons | (18) | ||
| (news.com) | Like a certain picture of Vanessa Hudgens, Firefox has been downloaded over 500 million times. Suck it IE7 | (53) | |
| Virtual teachers outperform real teachers, except in the "having sex with their students" department | (15) | ||
| German treasure hunters search underground cavern for plundered Nazi gold, a radio for speaking to God | (12) | ||
| (BankNet360) | Old & busted: tap & go - how you pay with your RFID creditcard. New hotness: tap & go - what hackers can do now that they can scan your RFID credit card from 30 feet away | (27) | |
| Next plague likely to come from wildlife in poor tropical country. QUICK SOMEONE CUT FLORIDA LOOSE | (38) | ||
| Sandia wants to build exaflop computer in the hopes of finally testing Vista | (13) | ||
| Turmeric may help fight heart disease. The anise is still unremarkable | (40) | ||
| (Tech Digest) | Harley Davidson owners get their own social network, with photos of big beards and big bellies a-plenty. And that's just the women | (185) | |
| Saix freew BlackBerry diownlosds youi wont wanmt to misas. Still noi curew dfor tinby keyu boardf | (21) | ||
| (Some Itchy Guy) | Darwin's crabs to go on display. Schrödinger's Cat may or may not be exhibited as well | (21) | |
| Remember the global coldening predictions of the 1970s? They were bunk, so you nonbelivers better shape up, stop using that argument, and get on the global warming team | (106) | ||
| After much research on the subject of why kids play, top researchers have come to the conclusion that it's because playing is fun. Next up: why people go to work -- is it to earn "money"? | (225) | ||
| "The first 10 teams in Google's $30 million robotic race to the moon include a Jesus freak, a Linux geek and a guy who recently bought 30 books on space exploration" | (30) | ||
| Scientists try to develop computers that feel "remorse" over their mistakes. Redmond could soon be the saddest place in the universe | (47) | ||
| Eight comic books to read before you die | (208) | ||
| (WEWS 5) | A NASA researcher believes healing prayers can be measured remotely, over long distances in a closed metal box used to measure electromagnetic images | (56) | |
| U.S. dementia rates are on the decline. Come here, get on my lawn | (13) | ||
| On this day in 1997, Dolly the sheep became the first cloned mammal. On this day in 1997, Dolly the sheep became the first cloned mammal. On this day in 1997, Dolly the sheep became the first cloned mammal | (21) | ||
| Laptop disk encryption pretty useless, Princeton researchers find | (28) | ||
| GPS-breathalizer combo to be released in Europe. TomTom Collins? | (19) | ||
| Apple patents Microsoft's touchscreen technology | (43) | ||
| ("Look, it is ballooooon.") | Google set to launch balloons that will carry wireless access to rural areas. That Indian from F Troop approves | (16) | |
| (Some Guy) | Afterward downward trend in 1990s, cancer deaths up in 2005. Still no cure for cancer statistics | (9) |
| Fans of "Jericho" bring series back from cancellation. As thanks, 14 cast and crew show up at convention for episode screening and questions, only to be greeted by "a sparsely populated audience" | (75) | ||
| Creationists: "If you put evolution in textbooks, you have to call it a scientific theory." School Board: "Um, sure. And let's teach kids what that actually means too." Creationists: "HAHAHAHA... wait, what?" | (335) | ||
| Google to start displaying ads in web videos. Coming soon: Loose Change, brought to you by the US Army | (25) | ||
| Scientists discover identical twins aren't as identical as once thought. Now maybe their parents can stop dressing them alike | (21) | ||
| (arstechnica.com) | AOL, buckling under the tremendous pressure of supporting all their customers, announces it will no longer support Netscape starting March 1 | (23) | |
| (Some Guy) | Vaccine for infants against the rotavirus to be approved soon. Now scientists can start to work on the much more deadly touchtonevirus | (19) | |
| (GameTrailers) | Wonder no more... this is how Super Mario Brothers would look on the Atari 2600 | (60) | |
| Not news: Software company publishes APIs of their software. Fark: It's Microsoft | (21) | ||
| (io9) | Map shows where the next worldwide epidemic is likely to come from, and it's probably India, China, Japan or Germany. And don't look too smug, east coast Americans | (22) | |
| Florida schools must now teach evolution as fundamental concept underlying biology. In other news, fundamentalists predict Florida will be struck by numerous hurricanes as well as plague of frogs | (157) | ||
| Economically speaking, installing solar panels on your home is wasteful. And it makes your house look like a dork and embarasses him in front of the other houses | (78) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Study shows that women better equipped to remember daily events, and that you don't put down the toilet seat, clean the dishes, make dinner. Dirt bag | (237) | |
| (BevNet) | Psychiatrist blames energy drinks for psychosis, says “If it were up to me you wouldn’t be able to buy anything in a store until you’re 18” | (52) | |
| (Some Guy) | China wants the U.S. to share data as to where the pieces of the spy satellite we shot down will land. You know, so they're certain they won't get hurt, yeah, that's it | (21) | |
| (Some Guy) | Microsoft to allow amateur game developers to post their games on XBox Live. Expect titles such as "Escape From the Basement" and "Sexara: Girl Robot of Seduction" | (56) | |
| Feds meet to decide what kind of flu you'll be getting next year | (53) | ||
| (Science Daily) | Scientists at last have found the link between what we expect to see, and what our brain tells us we actually saw | (31) | |
| HD-DVD players now selling for $60 less than Betamax video players on eBay | (75) | ||
| Facebook traffic figures drop for the first time, as users tire of endless rounds of pokes, vampire bites and pirates vs. ninjas | (36) | ||
| Brain-controlled gaming system falls into "demo hell" | (16) | ||
| (Some Guy) | David Fincher to adapt "Black Hole" for big-screen. Maximilian refuses comment | (59) | |
| From the Department of Good Ideas: Let's eat fish that ate 100 pounds of polluted algae | (7) | ||
| Thousands of bats dying in New York. Bruce Wayne unavailable for comment | (18) | ||
| Scientists create rubber that repairs itself. Your parents wish they had had this | (32) | ||
| (TD9993) | Lucas to do a documentary on the 501st. Special Edition due out 2009, 3D version due out 2010. Prequel to be filmed in 2012 | (35) | |
| (Some Mustachioed Reporter) | Internet not only has blogs, but has info on how to do things. Who could have possibly written such a timely article? | (143) | |
| Leonardo DiCaprio to star as Kaneda in live action "Akira" film | (129) |
| He's got big calls, and she's got big calls but my cellphone gave me the lowest spermcount of all | (11) | ||
| US Military successfully shoots down satellite containing the Ark of the Covenant, the actual JFK assassination documents, and that secret baked bean recipe the dog was supposed to guard | (273) | ||
| (RCR News) | AT&T, T-Mobile, and Verizon Wireless all launch "unlimited calling" plans for $99 today. Sprint Nextel expected to launch "unlimited dropped call" plan for $199 next week | (32) | |
| A steak toaster. Did you hear me? I said a STEAK TOASTER | (53) | ||
| (WOAI) | Reporter shocked -- SHOCKED -- to find out that hard drives donated to Goodwill might still have data on them | (19) | |
| Heathrow's automatic baggage system gets upgraded to BSOD | (13) | ||
| Astronomers say massive pieces of space junk like malfunctioning spy satellite plunge to Earth all the time and no one is ever hur | (37) | ||
| (Some Law Student) | Need to pay rent? AT&T might owe you $100 per day for the last five years | (62) | |
| (Some Guy) | Beam Mini-Me up, Scotty: Simon Pegg reportedly to have a "midget sidekick" in upcoming "Star Trek" movie | (44) | |
| Live all other aspects of the show, the satellite phones on TV's "Lost" aren't plausible | (74) | ||
| (VGB) | "Gears of War 2" release date in November 2008 | (53) | |
| A good recap of where the Wikileaks/BJB saga is and how it got there, by Cringely | (16) | ||
| (Buffalo News) | Mythbusters to go all MacGyver for its 100th episode | (291) | |
| In an amazing discovery, animals are not, in fact, MENSA material. They are, however, completely delicious | (15) | ||
| Bill Gates: Internet censorship just won't work. Monopolization of technological standards perfectly acceptable, however | (18) | ||
| CDC identifies 335 new infectious diseases that have appeared since 1940 and are watching "hot spots" for future diseases, including east Asia, Central America, South America and Fark Parties | (14) | ||
| Bottom trawling for fish stirs up billowing plumes of sediment that can be seen from space | (174) | ||
| (Some Geek) | Virtual keyboard, how can it be applied to pron? | (33) | |
| The gaming neuro-jack is almost here. Welcome to Sense/Net, Case | (51) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Here is a list of technical skills we used to know that no longer are useful to us. It includes dialing a rotary phone, and changing the gas mixture on your car's carburetor. Gopher navigation, Morse code operation missing | (142) | |
| Clock could revolutionize science. This headline is not a repeat from 849 B.C | (32) | ||
| (NASA) | Total lunar eclipse tonight (with picture timetable) | (153) | |
| Recent samples of writing by Carly, the 13-year-old autistic girl who learned to speak with a computer. Pls can I hv mor shos and clths mom | (69) | ||
| If you want to know a person's age, look into their eyes | (25) | ||
| The blackest material ever made may eventually lead to invisibility cloaks, but still won't be able to hide from Spinal Tap references | (41) | ||
| Listening to The Strokes in the early stages after a stroke can improve a patient's recovery | (20) | ||
| Old and busted: Monster trucks. New hotness: Monster motorcycles (with pic) | (16) | ||
| Science fairs suck. Being a kid sucks. School sucks. Here's the photographic proof, pizza face | (63) | ||
| "Get ready for the eclipse that saved Columbus," or "Get ready for the eclipse that Columbus used to manipulate the natives" | (16) | ||
| Excelsior, true believers: Gambit and Deadpool cast in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" | (105) | ||
| UFO sightings linked to breast cancer | (36) | ||
| If you're going to have a heart attack, don't do it at night | (9) |
| (NWCN) | Meteor lights up the sky over Washington, lands near Tri-City area | (43) | |
| "Gigantism is very common in Antarctic waters" | (17) | ||
| Farking scary fish that eats anything it sees, can kill humans and can crawl out of the water and follow you inland to attack you in your sleep. EVERYBODY PANIC | (228) | ||
| Biggest collection of Star Wars collectables you'll see all day. This guy must get all the chicks | (28) | ||
| Oxford will spend $4 million to study why mankind embraces God; are not willing to accept answer that He's just so snuggly and adorable | (710) | ||
| How the PS3 was responsible for kicking Toshiba's HD-DVD's sorry ass to the curb | (127) | ||
| (Engadget) | Duke University boasts largest 802.11n network, now students can browse Fark no matter where they are and be reminded that Duke sucks | (21) | |
| What's better than a USB drive that humps your computer? One that enjoys it. Upgrades | (12) | ||
| Tomorrow, the government will spend $60 million on a rocket launch with the goal of breaking something that is already broken. No word yet if they will pack the empty spaces with extra cash so it doesn't rattle | (70) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Scientists discover "frog from hell." In other news, Budweiser launches aggressive marketing campaign | (97) | |
| (NY Times) | It's called "the whitest place on Earth" and it's great for astronomy. No, it's not Vermont | (29) | |
| (Some Guy) | HD DVD prior to cancellation: "Our install base is over one million." Toshiba at press conference: "Our install base is 730K, nearly half of which is Xbox 360 add-ons" | (94) | |
| (Some Guy) | 3DRealms sued over "Earth No More." That could potentially cause this title to be delayed. I wonder how they'll deal with something like that? | (21) | |
| People live longer in these three places than anywhere else on earth. Interbreeding, religion and eating small amounts of non-bacon seem to help | (34) | ||
| Microsoft announces a new plan to win back the hearts and minds of young people blinded by those false gods, Google and Apple: Free development tools for students | (46) | ||
| Verizon to begin offering flat-fee unlimited domestic calling plans today. No word yet on extra charges for the "not sucking" feature | (17) | ||
| (Bloomberg) | Microsoft may succeed in fighting off rival suitors for Yahoo because they can't offer as much to Yahoo's shareholders. Suck it, Google | (7) | |
| Top 11 ways Sony plans to celebrate their Blu-Ray DVD victory | (70) | ||
| Elderly women in Britain to hold first-ever Wii championship in name of fitness (pic) | (5) | ||
| Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry has a CG exhibit that lets visitors experience the 1893 World's Colombian Exposition without the risk of getting gassed and dissected by a mass-murdering hotel operator | (39) | ||
| (China Post) | Man caught stealing urinal sensor. To his credit, his reason for taking it is original | (58) | |
| (The Electric New Paper) | Singapore immunology lecturer uses Hollywood movies and episodes of "House" as instructional aids to help his students understand complex concepts like "It's-not-lupus"-ology | (19) | |
| It's official: HD DVD is dead, dead, dead. DEAD. Toshiba announces the death of HD DVD in a press conference in Tokyo | (406) | ||
| Scientists find "devil toad" fossil, choose very scientific name of Beezlebufo | (21) | ||
| (Some Conspiracy Theorist) | Remember to put on your tinfoil helmet before you log in to Facebook | (20) | |
| Russian scientists contact nether world (with picture of proof) | (24) | ||
| "Panda porn" fails to get any Ling-Lings up in China | (18) |
| Internet predator myth busted. 95% of them are pretty honest about being creepy older men looking for jailbait | (58) | ||
| A website that allows whistle-blowers to commit treason is taken offline in the U.S. | (33) | ||
| Everyone gets to watch Wednesday's total lunar eclipse. "You don't have to stay up until dawn or anything obnoxious like that" | (18) | ||
| (Some Borg) | Bambi is now part of the Borg collective | (20) | |
| This week is your last chance to get glimpse of doomed satellite before the US military blows it out of the sky | (139) | ||
| Hasbro reveals a Nerf machine gun. It's belt-fed, tripod-mounted, and runs on six D batteries | (49) | ||
| Reebok finally releases what everyone's been asking for - Kool-aid scented sneakers. Oh... yeah?? | (12) | ||
| Experts "gobsmacked" as mushrooms start sprouting in Britain in February, saying global warming is no fun, guy | (23) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Japan has hover buses. EVERYBODY PANIC | (40) | |
| Gadget editor tests "Mosquito" noisemaker only the young can hear | (96) | ||