Still no cure for cancer... But we're going to be able to detect it a lot quicker	(0)
		God gives monkeys ability of voice recognition	(3)
		Pentagon asks researchers to speed up test trials of new anti-radiation drug from years to months. Umm, do they know something we should know?	(58)
		Apart from the cataract operations, sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?	(42)
(boston channel)		Nintendo's Wii video game system being used as physical therapy by hospitals. Subby is going to declare Wii on taxes as a medical expense	(31)
		The car of the future is here. And it blows	(58)
		Company ready to launch minimally invasive microwave to nuke tumors, world's tiniest Hot Pockets	(10)
		The electric-powered Tesla Roadster has been approved for sale in the US. Submitter would happily plunk down $98,000 for one of these babies	(30)
(Some Insomniac)		New study finds a systematic change in dreams after 9/11/01	(31)
		Hypersonic jet capable of Mach 5 in development. Bonus, it will run on hydrogen and leave unicorn farts and rainbows in its wake. Still no flying cars, cure for cancer	(33)
(Some Gardener)		This Sunday morning scaremongering article asks, "Is your garden's fertilizer a radioactive hazard?"	(58)
		Suicide is an intimate, often impulsive decision that has defied scientific understanding, like supporting Ron Paul	(55)
(Some Drunk)		♫ ♪ It knows when you're not sober / It knows when you've been drunk / It knows when you've been sloshed or smashed / So you'd better stay clean, you punk ♪ ♫	(57)
		Plummeting pika population prompts preservation poser, protection probably pointless	(24)
(Some Cheesehead)		Intel sued by University of Wisconsin-Madison Research Foundation for patent infringement of Core 2 Duo processor	(17)
(Some Guy)		"Sharing data with online strangers rarely a good idea." Ric Romero wonders how he missed this scoop	(11)
		Astronauts will delay by one day a spacewalk mission because of an undisclosed health problem with one member of the space shuttle Atlantis' crew. It's not spacewalk, it's spaceruns	(26)
		Mankind begins development on the Hammer of Dawn	(53)
(Some Guy)		"The hardware components that make Macs so powerful at depicting graphics are exactly what has kept the Mac from becoming a gaming platform"	(75)

(Some Guy)		When the solar wind arrives and auroras flare up, a great place to be is Earth orbit. Here is the view from the International Space Station (link goes to pic)	(21)
		Blind British children being taught how to see through echolocation. Tommy predicted this	(17)
(Telegram.com)		Men's waistlines increase with paychecks, women become slimmer. Does not explain Bill Gates and Rosie	(18)
		Amphibian mother peels off her skin to allow her young to eat it in one of the most distasteful dining experiences you'll see outside a Golden Corral (pic)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Patrick Stewart says Trekkies keep turning up for his Shakespeare performances. "They arrive here and Jean-Luc Picard isn't anywhere around"	(88)
(Some Giant Software Vendor)		If your inability to virtualize obsolete OSs has been keeping you up nights, good news: Microsoft has you covered	(54)
(Some Guy)		Nerdgasm alert: Time-lapse video of man assembling the largest Lego set ever created: The Millenium Falcon, of course	(57)

(Some Guy)		There's only one major metropolitan city in the country in compliance with the Clean Air Act	(22)
		C|noogle?	(20)
		Media trumpeting of new threat: Killer jellyfish. "A perfect toxin-loaded killing machine, there is no creature on earth that can dispatch a human being so easily or so quickly"	(119)
		MD 2 ban TXT MSG driving, WTF? No TXT 2 your BFF as U LOL in your AWD, but IDK	(39)
		Radio interference among APs can derail performance as wireless LANs grow in density. It seems counterintuitive, but in one test when the number of APs was decreased from 15 to 10, throughput increased nearly 40 percent	(33)
		Microsoft, Yahoo, Google, IBM and Verisign are backing Open ID, where one password will be used to guarantee identity across a large number of websites. Your identity is perfectly safe with them	(35)
		Turtle's swim from Indonesia to Oregon longest journey for nookie since Ando tried to meet LasVegasNikki	(18)
		Trailer for new Ben Stein movie about how anyone who supports intelligent design is blackballed by the scientific community	(461)
		Researchers to bombard the remains of King Henry VIII's flagship with light rays 10 billion times brighter than the sun. Ye science, it followeth	(7)
		Old and busted: The chair you're in right now. New super-hotness: MagLev Hover-couch	(44)
		Facebook members won't have Bill Gates to poke around any more	(9)
		Red Hat/Cygnus record run buried amid Sun/MySQL billion-dollar hoopla	(8)
		Intel wants to put the Internet into your pocket. Hopefully, it's willing to take you out for dinner and buy you a couple of drinks first	(10)
(nytimes.com)		Q: Is it too late for Yahoo? A: Yes	(25)
(Some Guy)		Mike Judge returns to his roots with new animated TV series. Huh huh, he said root	(72)
		Evidence surfaces proving that the Supreme Court is influenced by the Internet Tough Guy Lobby	(71)
		Maori tribesmen have the earliest childhood memories of any culture. Submitter attributes this phenomenon to the constant exposure of bare breasts	(40)
		Too busy talking on my Gphone to write a better headline	(31)
(The Local)		Swedes to fire seasick fish into space. That's not a sentence you'll often read	(16)
(Some Guy)		A California court has ruled that Some Guy does not have to reveal his identity after being sued for "scathing verbal attacks"	(29)
		Scientists make unique knee-brace that will allow athletes to generate power from their movements. Still no cure for cancer	(18)
		This one is for those who say, "Learn a real guitar and stop playing a video game" whenever there's a Fark thread about "Guitar Hero"	(150)

		News: SP1 released. Not News: Takes 3 reboots and about an hour to install. Fark: Runs worse than normal	(108)
		SETI scientist worried aliens will come and bang on our door, make us turn that damn music down	(45)
		New research indicates that a bunch of blue-eyed Scandinavians were committing incest	(30)
		DARPA: developing the wild, the wacky and wicked cool for 50 years	(14)
(Some Guy)		NASA calls on Fark for suggestions to re-name future telescope mission. VE	(219)
(Some Guy)		Entertainment/Tech columnist unveils the "next wave in home entertainment" blu-ray & hd-dvd. He's probably writing his Super Bowl XLII prediction column as you click this link	(42)
(Inside Music Media)		Steve Jobs: "I'm happy to announce millions more iPods have been sold this quarter". HD Radio marketing group: "We're estatic about the 330,000 radios we've sold in 2007"	(50)
		Gang recruiting goes Web 2.0 on MySpace, Facebook, YouTube. Wanna be a member? Flash a sign, post a photo	(18)
		Headline: "Tobacco on track to kill 1B people in 21st century." I don't know about you, but eighteen deaths in a hundred years just doesn't seem like that big a deal	(56)
		Kissing is an evolutionary holdover from the distant past when our moms fed us by chewing our food and passing it from her mouth to ours. Ewwww	(47)
		Hypersonic, ordinary-fuel scramjet prototype passes test successfully. Except for that "staying in the air" bit	(5)
(Chronical of Higher Education)		Peer-reviewed journal article finds that Mitochondria are the missing link between body and soul. Jedi seen nodding in approval	(39)
(Science Blogs)		Not News: Creationist runs lab experiment that proves evolution. News: Announces results at conference full of creationists. Fark: Gets called on it by the scientist in the audience	(215)
(Popular Mechanics)		Scientists say recent diminished solar activity could lead to substantial cooling of the northern hemisphere. And that will kill more people than global warming, senior citizens behind the wheel, and Drew Peterson combined	(52)
		Microsoft responds to massive "Save XP" petition by basically saying "Bite me." Asinine tag steps in when Obvious tag has Vista-related driver issues	(81)
		IBM wants to build computer to run the entire internet, find Sara Conner. Yeah, I went there	(36)
(Planetary Society)		Move over Google Earth. Here comes Arizona State University's ASU Mars. So go explore the surface of Mars with every image that NASA orbiters have every taken	(24)
(NASA)		Official shuttle launch countdown discussion thread, scheduled for 2:45pm EST - link goes to NASA-TV	(221)
		Blind cavefsh may have eyes after all, say scentsts	(25)
		"The porn industry is meeting right now to figure out exactly how to capitalize on this coming trend"	(53)
		For the first time, the number of mobile phone users will overtake the number of people who don't have one	(21)
(Science Daily)		Investigators find that chronic pain can harm the brain. Not known if damage carries over to the membrane to make you insane	(18)
(Science Daily)		Heavy marijuana use linked to gum disease. Chances increase if you are a tobacco smoker, live in New Zealand and use a Pez dispenser. OK, I made that last one up	(40)
		Scientists able to restore movement in paralyzed...rats	(14)
		Leaked Yahoo memo calls for anybody but Microsoft	(24)

		Guinness releases their first "Gamers book of records. As a honor, a guy from Florida holds the record for Donkey Kong which fits right in for a state known to making a ass out of itself	(38)
		If your mom was stressed out while pregnant with you, chances are the aliens are here in their mothership and are eating everyone's left arm	(25)
(Some Guy)		British called "the most spied-upon people in the world." You submitted this with a better headline. We know	(26)
(Some Guy)		A tattoo can be more than just a fashion statement – it has potential medical value: it is a more effective way of delivering DNA vaccines than intramuscular injection	(17)
(Some Guy)		World's first time machine due to be operational in three months	(152)
(Some Guy)		There are still nine million people who use AOL's dial-up service. Talk about two Americas. Can we get these people a bag of rice or something?	(52)
		Beet juice can significantly reduce blood pressure, turn your toilet bright red	(29)
		Diabeetus trials halted because it turns out you do need a little bit of sugar in your blood. Enough to, you know, live	(27)
(Alley Insider)		Dutch wireless CEO calls the iPhone "useless," then says he wants his company to sell it. That will go over well with Steve Jobs	(13)
(Some Guy)		Why giant robots are stupid	(354)
		Fifth undersea Internet backbone tube cut in Middle East. Jonah wanted for questioning	(86)
(iF Magazine)		"Terminator: Salvation" Director wants a Josh Brolin-type character for the Villain. Submitter is glad he didn't say James Brolin ... yikes, talk about one slow Terminator	(38)
(Dallas Business Journal)		Duke Nukem Forever confirmed for 2008 release. Is it just me or are your feet cold?	(74)
		Who’s afraid of the IPv4 address depletion? Apparently no one	(44)
		With the writer's strike (maybe) heading to a close, here's how various shows will handle it. Good news for fans on Back to You and Samantha Who?, bad news for 24 and Heroes fans	(82)
		Fastest camera shutter speed in 1887: 6 milliseconds. Fastest camera shutter speed in 2007: 110 attoseconds (with pics)	(34)
(gamepolitics)		Where the major presidential candidates stand on video game issues	(47)
		Pharmaceutical worker reports odd blue flecks dotting the finished drug capsules match the paint on the factory doors. Management's solution? Just toss a tarp over it	(36)
(toplessrobot.com)		The 10 Star Wars Toys That Unintentionally Look Like Other Celebrities	(98)
		Microsoft shows off new web advertising technology that can insert different logos on the cans of cream corn in your homemade porn videos	(18)
		SCOwned again	(14)
(Information Week)		Microsoft Vista one year later: "People are using Vista cuz she's the girl the agency sends to the house."	(65)
(Astronomy Pic of the Day)		Coolest hot picture of the Sun saying "I see what you did there" that you see see all day	(20)
		Barnacles can radically change the size and shape of their penises to fight the waves and have sex. Hot	(36)
(Silicon Alley Insider)		Microsoft bid for Yahoo drops to $29.50 a share, pressure on Jerry Yang eases	(11)
		Ten year old girl is one of rare few to suffer from Malfunctioning Eddie Syndrome	(87)
		New Lotus supercar does 156mph and covers 0-to-60 in 5.7 seconds. Bonus: only three wheels (pic)	(30)

		Taser and Mossberg teamed up to make a shotgun that can take out Polish immigrants and elderly women at the same time. Bonus: the commercial is super creepy	(45)
(Some Guy)		J. J. Abrams says new "Star Trek" won't have the usual problem with most prequels: "That you know all the characters are going to live." Die Chekov die	(115)
(IEEE Spectrum)		Dean Kamen's "Luke" prosthetic arm prototype	(57)
(Some Carl Sagan Guy)		The "Cosmos" Discussion Thread and Drinking Game	(137)
(Planetary Society)		Remember that asteroid that grazed Mars last month? Astronomers now admit that they don't know where it is now. It is lost in space. Luckily there is very little danger, Will Robinson	(14)
		***Microsoft Announces XBox360 Laptop Oh wait nevermind... It's just a guy who made it in his basement. But Microsoft should make it because it looks pretty cool With Video awesomeness	(36)
		Dell suit reveals lucrative trade in domain names	(12)
		Do we really need this invention? Is it too hard to eat chicken nuggets now?	(71)
(Some Gamer)		Video games activate reward regions of brain in men more than women	(39)
		"Help" from Washington could kill EFF's "Patent Busting Project"	(23)
		Ron Paul needs to take more folic acid	(120)
		Driver problems still haunting Vista, to the point where you may want to use a nine iron instead	(63)
(Radar Online)		Redtube hacked by people oblivious to the fact that the Internet is for porn	(34)
(Some Guy)		Canada abolishes position of National Science Advisor, preferring to just read the Geek tab	(16)
		Looks like grandma didn't take her multivitamin. Study links vitamin deficiency to tripled risk of dementia	(13)
		U.S. researchers find that cigarette smokers are four times as likely as non-smokers to report feeling unrested after a night's sleep. They also found them smelly	(23)
(C|Net)		The most tech-friendly candidates, plus Hillary Clinton	(189)
		Scientists create embryo from DNA of three people. Now your kids can look like the milkman on purpose	(37)
(C Net)		Third-party apps come to MySpace. No word on when usefulness or coolness will come to MySpace	(18)
(Some Guy)		Two galaxies are giving the Milky Way a gassy UFIA	(13)
		All your final frontier are belong to Allah (with hilarious pic)	(77)
(Metro)		I saw a tortoise, it was on the second shelf behind the beer and the jar of tabasco olives	(20)
		Smokers and obese people aren't as much of a burden on the health care system as we've been told. Suck it skinny non-smokers, here comes the science	(61)
		Shocking scientific study reveals that babies absorb chemicals from products such as baby lotion, baby powder, and baby shampoo	(37)
		Latest threat to the natural world: Couch potatoes	(10)
		Yapple?	(43)

		Apple//c unboxing. Sweeet	(60)
		Yahoo employees say Microsoft is "the frosting on a giant double-layer suck cake." In other news, some Yahoo employees are probably Farkers	(20)
(TV Shows on DVD.com)		Get your Roddenberry on: Universal plans to release first two seasons of 'Earth: Final Conflict' on news that another potential show of his has been found written on the back of a toilet paper roll	(31)
(Some Guy)		Presenting the most awesome case mod in the history of ever	(62)
		Because it's worked so well in the past, Microsoft intends to fix problems with its software by distributing more software. Sisyphus seen smiling wistfully	(26)
		Intel's new chip has two billion thingees in it, which is 300,000 more thingees than the last chip with the most thingees	(32)
		British company pays $1.1 million for world's stupidest domain name	(39)
		By the power of gayskull, I-Mockery presents the 10 gayest "Masters of the Universe" characters	(41)
		Sandwiched between Super Sunday and Super Tuesday is the release of Windows Vista Service Pack 1. It's like a suck sandwich	(54)
(Some Guy)		New director for "The Wolfman" announced. John Landis and Brett Ratner reportedly last seen howling on the moors	(36)
(Sci-Fi Chick)		Interview with the hottest Terminator yet, Summer Glau	(197)
		No more crappy cell-phone camera pictures if Kodak has its way	(33)
		Old and busted: Google Maps. New hotness: Google maps that show you where and how all the homicides took place this year	(165)
		Scientists have created a mouse that can catch a cold. Next on the agenda: Giving a cat influenza	(16)
		A tank-filling robot: Because pumping gas is so hard	(28)
(Silicon Alley Insider)		Google loves to bash Microsoft, apparently forgetting that it is the "next Microsoft"	(31)
		MySpace could cost you your job, says Mudoch-owned paper	(30)
		Roses are red / roses are blue / genetically engineered blue roses / to say "I love you" and ruin the meter of this spiffy rhyme	(42)
		Don't get sloshed before getting sliced	(8)
(Boing Boing)		It's a car that uses chocolate for fuel. Greenpeace meets Willy Wonka	(18)
		Yahoo will link up with Google to form Voltron and destroy Microsoft. Your move, Mr. Gates	(34)
		"UFO sightings in Canada are on the rise and so are organizations led by extraterrestrial forces who are using mind control to manipulate Canadians into thinking its OK to develop [vast oil] resources" (Sic)	(39)
		Aboriginal languages "dying out." You submitted this with a headline that required mouth clicks and vowel sounds that sounded like someone shaking a coffee can full of rocks	(121)
		Yahoo shutting down music service, sending users to Real's Rhapsody. Not much of an upgrade there, fellas	(35)