(Internet Storm Center)		Early Saturday morning's WoW (and other games/websites) crash brought to you by a backbone outage. Players briefly forced to get a life	(7)
(Times of India)		Elephants with smaller tusks evolved to evade poachers, reduce orthodontic bills	(10)
(Some Guy)		Alec Baldwin, professional scientist person, explains why the FDA was wrong to allow cloned beef. Still no cure for Alec Baldwin	(38)
		Inside the coldest city on earth, and it's not Green Bay	(91)
		Just in case the greenhouse effect wasn't scary enough, scientists find evidence of volcanic eruption under Antarctic ice sheet	(35)
(Machine Design)		Those Toyota Tundra ads with the giant see-saws and the like? Completely real. Here comes the science	(35)
		MacBook Air edges out the Commodore SX-64 in head to head comparison, but just barely	(102)
(Science Daily)		New study: "When people lack a sense of connection with other people, they are more likely to see their pets, gadgets or gods as human-like."	(31)
(Some Guy)		Hackers retaliate to Scientology's ordered removal of that Tom Cruise video from YouTube by attacking their website; Xenu heard cackling from his underground prison	(536)
(Some Guy)		After decades of research from the best minds in the world and constant testing, NASA is proud to unveil their latest creation: a giant vibrator	(15)
(Some Guy)		Want to go cross-country skiing but don't want to work at it? There's always "doggie skijoring"	(5)
		MySpace quietly fixes bug that gave voyeurs access to teens' private photos. Oops	(27)
		Scientists on the verge of perfecting computerized lip reading. What the HAL could go wrong?	(19)
		According to the CIA, hackers were able to break into and shut down electrical systems in several countries +++CARRIER LOST+++	(29)
		First 2009 Corvette ZR1 sells at auction for $1 million, most ever spent for penile enhancement	(44)
		Iron Man coming to theaters this summer ... in the Hulk movie	(53)

		Germans invent mind-reading cars which automatically stop at every beer hall and schnitzel stand	(14)
		Massive blacks holes responsible for most disorder in universe, including Iraq and submitter's desk	(17)
(Ars Technica)		Photo IDs actually increase crime, identity theft, voter fraud	(60)
(Some Guy)		90 computers from the past w/ pics & original MSRP/advertisements. Remember the days when Sarah Purcell & Tomy Tutor had careers worth advertising?	(31)
(ICR)		Why an evolutionary origin of life is impossible	(514)
		Australia's sperm banks are nearly drained. Anyone that can make a deposit are asked to please come	(35)
		How Facebook exposed us all as freaks	(34)
(Game Revolution)		Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo all claim console victory in 2007. Fark: Using the same data	(74)
		Medical plants might go extinct. No, not your favorite one, the other ones	(19)
		NASA might suffer a setback in getting back to the moon after finding a flaw in new rocket. This is obviously code for, "The warehouse lease for filming the fake moon landing might fall through"	(43)
		Two artificial intelligence pioneers. Two bizarre suicides. What really happened? Obviously, humans from the future killed them before they could complete their research and thus ensure the Great Robot Revolution of 2023	(55)
		Don’t worry about that guy about to operate on your gallbladder. He trained on a Wii	(22)

		Industrial robot modded to throw fireballs: 2800lb industrial robot gets fitted with a trebuchet release mechanism, bowling balls, watermelons, and pig entrails smash an RV	(32)
(Some Guy)		Top 10 most cliché college dorm posters of all time	(171)
(Some Farkette)		First photos of the new "X-Files" movie. It's a streetlight	(92)
		European probe aims for Mercury. Had planned to go for Lead, but China beat them to it	(14)
		In order to keep up with high demand for his free mustache rides, scientist clones himself (with pic of sweet mustache)	(113)
(Al Dente Blog)		A compound found in beer inhibits enzymes that cause cancer. And even if it doesn't, it will still help you forget you have cancer	(17)
(News Daily)		Mexican doctors treat prostate cancer by shooting near-boiling heat through your butt. What could possibly go wrong?	(33)
(ScienceDaily)		Scientists to present world's smallest trophy on Super Bowl Sunday, claim its even tinier than Bill Belichick's sense of ethics	(21)
(Magnifying Glass)		Scientists try to alter fire ants chemistry to incite a civil war and wipe out the colony. Here come the Sci-Ants	(53)
		NASA attempting to create MMORPG. Trying to get funding, but another group is camping 'The Budgeting Director' a rare, named spawn	(91)
(University of Washington)		Researchers create contact lenses with working circuits, paving the way for head-up displays for everyday life	(42)
(Some Guy)		Sorry RIAA, MPAA, and MediaDefender, but ultimately, the pirates can't be stopped	(155)
		Yahoo backs OpenID, which lets users log onto different Web sites using the same details. Because Microsoft Passport was such a resounding success	(12)
		Scientists discover that humans have internal "kinship detectors" to prevent incest ... say that it works really well unless your sibling is hot	(28)
		Astronauts will soon be able to enjoy a nice screw in space to keep their liquids flowing	(10)
(Computer and Video Games)		Bioshock nominated for a record breaking 12 awards at the Interactive Achievement awards, including best story development, best overall game and most like System Shock 2	(104)
		Gaming industry sales grew by 43% in 2007. Sales figures for Cheetos, Mt. Dew close behind	(58)
		Brain surgery lets woman listen to music. After hearing what music is like today, woman requests surgical reversal	(30)
(zzt)		Due to rising mortality rates related to Taser use, local police departments consider switching to the Dell XPS M1530	(17)
		One in five people have tried to seduce people using social networking sites. How YOU doin'?	(33)
(Pauls Funky Stuff)		Imagine spending $9,000 at Radio Shack for 16 Mbytes. This was 1989 my friend	(68)

(Some Guy)		Lightsaber lamps, 'nuff said	(14)
(Some Guy)		Will the new media destroy Hollywood? Television not expected to last much beyond the year 2040	(34)
		Porn Star Jenna Haze is a hardcore gamer. You know, when she's not taking three c*cks in her ass	(78)
		Most awesome/mysterious technology so far in 2008: A&W's new prefab bottled root beer floats	(28)
		Why some men refuse prostate cancer screenings. "Not a big fan of UFIA" surprisingly not on the list	(19)
		Microsoft patents technology that lets your employer wirelessly determine when you're aroused	(8)
		Taking a cue from used textbook companies, new tech startup will pay you $40 for iPod that you dropped $300 on last year	(17)
		ABC News learns the art of troll headline writing: "If You Love to Hate Google, Read This"	(15)
(Some Guy)		Intensive therapy helps OCD sufferers. Intensive therapy helps OCD sufferers. Intensive therapy helps OCD sufferers. Intensive therapy helps OCD sufferers. Intensive therapy helps OCD sufferers	(23)
(Some Cloned Guy)		Scientists make human clone, exactly 1/8th original size	(57)
(Some Guy)		Geneticists have extended lifespans of yeast 10 fold, they think it could be possible to extend human lifespans to a hundred and eleventy years-old but that it could cause severe growth deficits and a tendency to boogler	(25)
(Some Guy)		Microsoft "opens" their Office Binary Formats	(11)
(iF Magazine)		The guy that plays fish-boy Abe in the upcoming "Hellboy 2: The Golden Army" says sequel will have more action, babes and other weird sh**	(59)
		Scientist map pools of invisible matter. Right over there. Well, its invisible. Trust me, it is there	(22)
(Ars Technica)		The head of National Intel says he wants "the ability to read all the information crossing the Internet in the United States." You know, in case Perez Hilton is Al-Qaeda or Tera Patrick has a secret message in her hoo-ha	(341)
(Some Guy)		Eight websites that jumped the shark. They didn't get over it	(77)
(Some Guy)		Webpage depicts a hydrogen atom, to scale, with the electron being 1 pixel in size. It's 11 miles wide	(99)
(Ars Technica)		More and more colleges and ISP's will filter copyrighted content from their networks, just like they filtered out all the spam and viruses	(83)
		Scientists prove that humans crave violence just like they crave sex. However, GTA sales had already proved this	(32)
(Shack News)		Super Smash Bros. Brawl delayed once again. Nintendo cites the need to tweak play mechanics, emulate Duke Nukem Forever developers	(76)
(Circleid.com)		A judge in North Dakota has just ruled that requesting a zone transfer from a public DNS server is criminal activity within the meaning of the ND Computer Crimes Law	(44)
(Some Guy)		Mac users more open minded, full of themselves	(174)
(British Medical Journal)		Should surgeons turn their heads when they sneeze during an operation?	(40)
		Genetic mutations boost risk of developing prostate cancer, super powers	(7)
		So rarely is the question asked: "Should we be eating insects?"	(33)
(Some NASA Guy)		A cutting-edge laboratory has opened in Alabama. Its mission: to combat maladies ranging from asthma to malaria to stroke using data from NASA satellites. Why are space scientists being consulted about an earthbound disease?	(10)
		Scientists officially discover that the perfect female legs are slightly longer than average and attached to Kylie Minogue	(122)
		No wonder kids can't stand clowns: The 'Net is a roiling cauldron of grownup clown hatred	(72)
		Bisexuality isn't just a phase. Dear diary, JACKPOT	(598)
		New species of tree discovered that is so big it can be seen from space	(44)
		Researchers are developing a new ultrarealistic synthetic skin they hope will be wrapped around next-generation prosthetic arms. Data unavailable for comment	(17)
(Miami New Times)		A new kind of superhero: How one man with an illegal phone jammer keeps Miami bookstores quiet	(95)
		Hello Kitty Contact Lenses. Do I need to say more?	(50)
		Sci-fi channel's new president promises to expand original programming... So the next time they make a movie about a python thats been bit by dracula that terrorizes a small town they'll film the sequel at the same time	(92)

(Ars Technica)		Court rules that Amazon can't offer free shipping in France. Instead of following the ruling, Amazon chooses to ship free and pay the daily fine	(57)
(Some Guy)		Some apocalyptic scenarios and how to survive them, including peak oil, bee colony collapse, supervolcanoes, genetic engineering disasters, bird flu, drought, telomere erosion, and Earth wobble	(46)
		Most antidepressants don't work. That's depressing	(63)
		The perfect gift for everyone who enjoys watching water boil or paint dry: the glass toaster, which lets you watch your bread turn brown. Get 'em while they're hot	(28)
(TG Daily)		Microsoft to release new version of Windows next year. Working name is "Windows Notvista"	(92)
		Scientists use carbon nanotubes to create the blackest black ever. Goths and Emos everywhere rejoice	(52)
		Study shows 70% reduction in heavy metal in the air in the U.K. since 1980. Judas Priest, Iron Maiden bow their heads in a moment of silence	(130)
		U.S. to spend $338,000 to study disease that doesn't exist	(52)
(KTVU)		And now a report from Mister Probably Didn't Understand What the Scientist Was Actually Saying But Filed A Report Anyway: SETI appears to have picked up a signal from another civiliaztion somewhere out in deep space	(128)
(Walrus)		"... people are going to look back on the addiction science of the beginning of the twenty-first century, and they’re going to see that nine-tenths of it was done on rats, and they’re just going to laugh and laugh."	(23)
(Bad Astronomy)		Asteroid: "I'd hit it." Earth: "Fail."	(43)
		RIAA seizes control of AT&T, makes immediate hard right turn off a cliff	(39)
		Computer Scientist warns of a Flash attack that could allow an attacker take control of your router and re-direct it to a private DNS server. Anyone running MingCo's Merciless 3.0 or lower urged to upgrade immediately	(38)
		New research shows that clowns scare the fark out of kids: "We found that clowns are universally disliked by children," says Dr. Romero	(165)
(Some Sore Guy)		The world's best rubber-band gun, firing 40 rounds a second from 24 revolving barrels with a maximum range of 22 feet. Every office should have one. Or twenty	(23)
		GM's self dubbed "Moon Shot" for the hybrid market almost gets better coefficient of drag numbers backwards than forwards	(244)
		Security firm offering $20,000 prize money to first person finding new holes in Microsoft Windows	(19)
		Researchers find that body weight is influenced by over 6,000 genes. Yes, your genes DO make you look fat	(18)
(physorg.com)		Scientists discover that Jesus may have ridden on a giant rat instead of a dinosaur	(27)
		MySQL acquired for $1B. Sun is there	(49)
		Researchers find that common algae can produce 278 times more oil per acre over corn. Step 1) Skim pool. Step 2) Bring to Chevron. Step 3) Profit	(59)
		NASA releases "Touch the Invisible Sky", a braille and embossed book of images for the blind and visually-impared. In other news, submitter hastily files similar patent in partnership with Hugh Heffner	(20)
(BizWeek)		Toshiba VP breaks down in tears over their HD-DVD woes, causing an instant sales spike in New Hampshire	(114)
(APOD)		Awesome picture reveals God's Rorshach test for the first time	(38)
		Marine officials unveil the Infantry Immersion Trainer, a high-tech prototype simulator with hologram projectors and full-scale sets built to look like urban Iraq. “We want to make sure that we are shooting the right people”	(18)
		Silicon nanowires give new life to lithium batteries, flat-chested women	(11)
		Europe fostering 8-year plan to mix unmanned aircraft with commercial aviation traffic	(13)
		Bill Gates = Ceiling Cat	(76)
(Some Guy)		Why the coming solar cycle could devastate our power grids, satellites, GPS, and any number of devices which depend on communication or directional satellites	(46)

		U.S. births rise in part because illegal immigrants are having the babies American women won't have	(320)
		MySpace to allow you to block your girlfriend from joining and discovering your other girlfriends	(36)
		With gas prices over $4.00 per gallon, now is the perfect time to release a new 380 horsepower, 5.7-liter HEMI V8	(139)
		Dutch GPS units employ technology borrowed from GTA:The Netherlands	(16)
(Some Guy)		Coming soon to ESPN - nerds playing video games	(63)
		FDA approves cloned meat for human consumption	(280)
		FDA approves cloned meat for human consumption	(70)
(Some Guy)		AT&T to replace 17,000 telco cabinet batteries in neighborhoods all over the U.S. Get used to those orange cones in the road, my friends	(48)
(Steve Speaks)		Official Macworld 2008 Steve Jobs keynote discussion thread. LGT live update feed, starting at 9am PST	(408)
		Fossils show that dinosaurs had teen sex, older siblings who didn't wear underwear	(27)
(Some Guy)		China names top 10 Internet events of 2007. Fark redesign fails to make list; apparently they got over it	(52)
(Some Guy)		Telekinetic monkey in North Carolina uses its mind to make Japanese robot walk	(21)
		Massive new study on cholesterol drugs show that Zetia doesn't work and Vytorin actually makes things dramatically worse. On the bright side, this may mean an end to all those annoying commercials	(61)
		Scientists develop genetically-engineered "super carrot" with extra calcium to help prevent brittle bones. In other news, sightings of giant were-rabbit increasing	(28)
(Some Guy)		"Life Expectancy of yeast extended to 800 in yeast years." What?	(13)
		MRSA is being transmitted by gay sex. Quick, someone get Fred Phelps on the phone	(319)
		Jan. 15, 2001: The "free encyclopedia that anyone can edit" is invented by Thomas Edison and Malcolm Jamal-Warner. Happy 15th Birthday, Wikipedia	(187)
		Survey find average person tells 88,000 lies over their lifetime, or an average of four every day. Of course you submitted this with a better headline, and it was a really good one	(88)
		World memory champion explains how he expertly memorizes a series of random words with the help of Dame Judi Dench smeared in marmalade. In other news, they have competitions for memory	(19)
		Used game sales hurting video game industry. Thankfully, no other products are sold as "used" or our economy would collapse	(82)
		In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus' junk was turning blue	(92)
		Speed Racer's Mach 5 caught live at the Detroit Auto Show	(36)

		L337 H4x0r cr4cks m0d3l'5 mysp4c3 4cc0unt. H1lt0n n0t 4mus3d	(30)
		According to astronomers, the universe is playing out like a Quentin Tarantino movie. So the universe is actually boring and dull but gets a pass for doing something good once 14 years ago	(190)
		Apple is killing Linux in desktop computing	(129)
(Some Tiny Guy)		Get out your glasses, here are the winners of the Bizarre/Beautiful Micrograph Contest	(15)
		MySpace is doing more to stop online predators by developing age verification service, blocking access to Congress	(9)
		A "Hacker Safe" sign on your website does nothing but make you look stupid when hackers manage to break in	(32)
		Microsoft can take its MediaCart and shove it up aisle two	(35)
		Robot servants will do all the housework within ten years, say scientists who still haven't perfected the flying car	(28)
		Phone headset lets you 'talk' thru your ear. Fark's been letting you talk thru your butt for years	(18)
(Science Daily)		Twelve ways to live greener in 2008. Bonus: All on one page	(71)
		Microsoft response to strange Xbox radio signal: It could be anything	(36)
		Get out your Rush mix tape, IGN Retro has launched	(22)
		Einstein had it right: Scientists find proof of gravity's bending of light	(37)
		Sick of getting whupped by your book readin' buddies on Scrabulous? Good news. It's being shut down for copyright violation	(26)
		Mars does well against asteroid; will now try for high score on Space Invaders	(9)
		New Cray is Britain's fastest Supercomputer and also fastest depreciating asset	(29)
(The Berkshire Eagle)		Hobbit fans: It was almost Bingo Baggins	(26)
		♫ They see us rollin', they hatin' ♫ Chihuahuas with contraptions for ridin' dirty ♫	(19)
		Scientists build graphical reconstruction of British dinosaur, complete with yellow snaggle teeth	(10)
		Put your head between your legs and kiss your ice goodbye	(45)
		Right around noon today, if all goes as planned, a spacecraft called Messenger will swoop past the planet Mercury and begin two days of unprecedented paparazzi activity	(29)