(LiveLeak)		Newly discovered deep sea creatures filmed for the first time. Prepare to be amazed	(14)
		Meet the 55-year-old Wii-tard who invented it. He also dreamed up Mario, Donkey Kong and The Legend Of Zelda	(47)
		One of the original cell phone networks to be shutdown in February leaving 500k On-Star users without service. Bummer	(26)
(Some Guy)		Just how many versions of these gospels are floating around anyhow?	(23)
		Just in time for the holidays: a new fuel source to fight global warming: Chocolate	(9)
		I thought this was a Fark TV Christmas special for a second	(12)
		APPLE TO TURN DOWN VOLUME SETTINGS ON iPOD TO STOP MORANS GOING DEAF	(60)
		If you ever wanted to see the Queen falling off a skateboard, the Duke of Edinburgh getting hit in the yambag by a polo-ball and Prince Charles shouting "LEAVE CAMILLA ALONE," you're in luck	(31)
		Deaf parents demand right to designer deaf children. WAIT, WHAT? WHAT?	(389)
(Physorg.com)		Nanocavity sensor detects viruses, penises of Hummer owners	(15)
		Italian scientists link Christmas to pagan tradition. Pagans everywhere seen with smug "we told you so" smiles	(167)
		Baby Jebus statues being fitted with GPS devices to prevent them being stolen. "We may need to rely on technology to save our savior"	(49)
(Some Guy)		Man builds own house out of 20,000 booze bottles he'd drunk. Drew reportedly intrigued by this idea, would like to know if there's a newsletter (pics)	(13)
		Chinese student sets fire to classmate claiming he had transformed into a Fire Mage from WoW. Blizzard breathe a sigh of relief this happened in China	(21)
(Some Bunn)		In a stinging one-uppance to Caturday, cloned rabbit glows green, will be able to reproduce in three months, demands immediate and unconditional Bunnday	(162)
		Can't find any Nintendo Wiis at your favorite local retail outlet? Maybe that's because they sold all their allotment for a premium on eBay	(67)
		In the battle of imaginary scientific concepts, Global Warming is outpacing evolution	(55)
		Japan invents shower-washable business suit for students and businessmen afraid of ironing and dry cleaners	(13)
		Beetles evolved during the Jurrasic period, haven't had a hit since	(18)
		Cannabis smoke has 20 times more harmful toxins than tobacco. Sucks, dude	(97)

		New social website gives half the advertising revenue back to members. If only my good friend Tom had thought of that, he could be a rich man by now	(9)
(Popular Mechanics)		120 mile electric/300 mpg gas car of the future invented. What Would George Jetson Drive?	(38)
(Some Guy)		Supercomputer concludes that killer asteroids are more common than was thought. Everybody duck	(46)
(Wikipedia)		Today is the Winter Solstice. Axial tilt is the reason for the season	(31)
(Some Guy)		"Just a reminder that if you're not using strong encryption, the NSA is probably reading your email, if not also everything that's on your system's hard drive"	(106)
(TechWold.com)		McAfee unveils study where people reply to spam, claim their UK lottery prize, enlarge their... um... "assets"	(12)
		Lost chalk drawings of penguins by explorers Captain Scott and Sir Ernest Shackleton that no one knew were lost have been discovered in a basement at Cambridge University	(39)

		Wii Headtracking	(54)
		NASA scientists cross fingers that an asteroid might just make the agency relevant for a few weeks next year	(17)
		Despite having five times as many security flaws as XP, Vista, and Win2k combined, Apple convinces the US Army that OS X is far more secure than Windows	(168)
(Some Creationists)		Conservative think tank creates website "refuting" recent PBS NOVA program on intelligent design using the old "if evolution is true, then why hasn't Earth become the 'Planet of the Apes' yet" argument	(211)
(Some Guy)		Why don't we have cancer all the time? Here comes the science	(13)
(Some Guy)		New breakthrough in lithium ion battery technology could allow electric cars to travel 1200 miles on a single charge	(45)
(Some Guy)		The Global Warming Panic Party has been postponed until further notice	(110)
(Some Guy)		Modder transforms AT-AT figure into functional Gamecube system	(30)
		Flying magic carpets are a reality, says Professor Aladdin	(25)
		DHS finalizing plans for domestic program regarding spy satellites that can see through cloud cover, trees and even concrete buildings. Ceiling cat isn't the only one watching you now	(21)
		Squirrels prove their genius once again, camouflaging their scent from predators by chewing snake skin and smearing it on their fur. Includes a pic that's crying out for captioning	(34)
		British doctors increasingly using more internet slang. LOL H4X	(59)
		There is a one-in-five chance that Mars will be smacked with an asteroid on January 30th, unless Bruce Willis and his motley crew do something	(43)

		Researchers discover that men are funnier than women. Still no cure for cancer	(195)
(PhoneNews)		FCC rejects 700Mhz AWS auction applications from Alltel, AT&T, Verizon, Qualcomm, and other industry heavyweights. Guess which one company submitted their application without errors?	(57)
		Some CNBC reporter makes a trip to the Island of Misfit Tech Toys with a full report	(21)
(Gilbert and Sullivan)		♫ I am the very model of a c-design-proponentsist. ♫ ♫ The diametric opposite of all that is materialist.♫	(294)
		A to Z on what doesn't matter in tech anymore: That's from AOL to Zune, naturally	(57)
(Some Guy)		Comcast begins blocking customers' legitimate emails	(42)
		NASA confident it has found why the space shuttle will explode	(12)
(Science Daily)		Traffic-jam mystery solved by mathematicians whose proposed solutions surprisingly don't include yelling, "Hey, arsehole, get off your cell phone and drive, you idiot"	(75)
(Some Guy)		The company which recently recalled nearly half a million laptop batteries because of explosion risk has just released a new class of miniature nuclear reactors to power apartment blocks. What could possibly go wrong?	(45)
(Some Guy)		With a full moon, and an extremely bright Mars, it won't be hard to spot a jolly fat man flying across the sky in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer on Christmas Eve	(49)
		A first look at the Beta 2.0 release of Firefox 3, and there has been a big improvement in performance	(60)
		Two PC first-person shooters don't sell well in a glutted market. Yup, it must be the end of the PC as a gaming system, again	(178)
		Jerry Bruckheimer to form videogame studio. New games expected to allow players to blow stuff up real good	(26)
		Scientific proof that Guinness is good for you gives Ireland a reason to drink	(18)
		What happens when an immediate relative of an astronaut currently serving on the space station dies suddenly? We're about to find out	(47)
(Science Daily)		"Solar" flare observed on a star that is 150 light years away	(17)

(Science Daily)		Scientists create 2D invisibility cloak. A direct violation of the Treaty of Algeron	(32)
		XP and Vista are more secure than Mac OS X. Fact	(163)
		Will your tongue really stick to a frozen flagpole? Here comes the science	(121)
		Israeli scientists etch entire Hebrew bible onto nanoscale gold plate. Microscopic Mormons reportedly thrilled	(102)
(TV guide)		The USA Network has canceled both “The Dead Zone” and “The 4400.” Fear over a “Weird Science” sequel has already begun	(83)
(Some Monkey)		Study finds menopause may be unique to humans. Cougars strangely not mentioned	(12)
		Whales may have descended from deer, and not from the sky with a bowl of petunias as previously believed	(282)
(Some Guy)		Anyone who unwittingly buys fake software from an online fraudster can receive up to $500 if they report the scam to Some Association. They will probably bust the seller's kneecaps too	(10)
(Some Guy)		Facebook: "Like MySpace with ADD, minus the boobs"	(60)
(Some Guy)		Happy 33rd birthday, Altair 8800	(18)
		Torrentspy discovers that only the executive branch of the U.S. government can get away with destroying evidence in a court case against itself	(32)
		Study reveals why monkeys shout during sex	(167)
		I sit and drink many cups of green teaaaaaa, halves the prostate cancer risk for meeeee	(40)
		Why America will never do anything about climate change	(439)
(Phone News)		Another day, another wireless... no, make that TWO wireless companies bankrupt	(30)
(Some Guy)		Apple finally fixes the freezing problem on their Macbooks. "Freezing" taken off list of things that just work	(56)
		Vacuum cleaners kill fleas just as well as any poison. This would be great news, except submitter's Rottweiler hates vacuums with a passion	(28)
(Some Guy)		1,800-year-old Birkenstocks discovered by archeologists, who say it's not often they find footwear more than one-third as old as Earth (pic)	(26)
(Some Guy)		Farkers flying through Philly this weekend: Enjoy free wi-fi courtesy of Philadelphia International Airport	(14)
		Those irritating "Need Help?" popups you find at shopping sites? They're bots	(21)
		Italian scientists have "cracked open the genetic make-up of Pinot Noir." Submitter celebrates by cracking open a Thunderbird and altering his own genetic make-up	(10)

(Some Guy)		F-word evolved as "a substitute for physical violence." If this doesn't get greenlit, I swear to god I'm gonna fark someone up good	(51)
(3D Realms)		The official Duke Nukem Forever teaser trailer will be released on Wednesday, December 19 at 12pm CST. Dogs and cats living together, man	(127)
		Dino found in Antarctica with whip-like tail, hind legs for walking, nipples that could cut glass	(35)
(Business Week)		Top link on the Fark voting tab today: Knew cellphone future uses voice recognition softcore to turn voicemails into test massages	(123)
		New revolutionary ship power source is discovered: they call it "wind", and you can capture it with a "sail". Patents are no doubt pending	(51)
		General Motors turns down the heat, saves millions	(36)
		Catastrophic meteorite impacts made life flourish. Who made catastrophic meteorite impacts? Chuck Norris	(91)
		Embarq CEO Dan Hesse draws short straw, named CEO of Sprint Nextel	(15)
(TheOneRing.net)		2films1hobbit is a go. Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema to share big cup of green stuff	(148)
		Lack of sun increases risk of lung cancer. In other news, everyone reading this probably has lung cancer	(13)
(1up)		Activision to Sony: Your console is too expensive, please lower the price. Sony to Activision: Build your own console or STFU	(102)
		Yahoo recommends "2 girls 1 cup" video as a related link	(366)
		Japanese company unveils a new phone device that allows you to "speak" through your ear. A future variation is being developed for politicians, once they get past the sanitary issues	(40)
		Biofuels are bad for the environment. Suck it... uh... biofuel supporters	(39)
		On this day in 1987, Perl 1.0 was released	(31)
		The faster multicore chips are creating a revolution in personal computing -- or they would be, if programmers could keep up with them	(31)
		ADHD adults have more money, sex problems, TotalFark accounts	(211)
		Howdy doodly do. How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast? Or perhaps I could hack your neighbours PC for you?	(19)
(Some Guy)		Gamer makes use of old N64: Stuffs it inside a tie fighter	(27)
		Scientists make sudoku more addicting by adding color to it	(20)
		Same light technology used in fast food restaurants could help treat hemorrhoids. Yup, it does taste like ass	(11)

(Sunday Mail)		Retired scientist tells how Hitler's atomic researchers actively prevented the Nazis from getting a nuclear bomb	(49)
		Galaxy fires powerful particle beam at neighbor. Pew pew pew	(45)
		"Fifth taste" proposed by scientists. No word as to a fifth of what	(136)
		Soon, your USB cable might forbid you from copying that floppy	(71)
		Feeling blue and need a chuckle? Here is a duck call duct taped to a car's blow off valve for some instant hilarity	(48)
		WHO is investigating a bird flu outbreak in Pakistan. WHO? I don't know	(23)
		New Firewire 3.2Gb/s link will be slower than USB 3.0's 4.7Gb/s link and it will probably be faster, too. Glad that's all cleared up	(23)
(ScienceDaily)		Scientists working on better understanding of how explosives work at microscopic scale, so we can better blow stuff up. Rednecks celebrate by asking someone to hold their beer, watch this	(4)
		Sun exec: Virtualization has customers confused	(23)
(The school)		About that student suspended for using Firefox -- he doesn't exist	(142)
		Average Brit will spend almost 25 years of their life sitting at their computer. Average goes way up if they have TotalFark	(14)
		How the feds are dropping the ball on key Internet protocol, IPv6	(43)
		Cool: Google to create a website to rival Wikipedia. Cooler: Authors will be able to attach advertising to their work and take a share of revenues	(37)
		Apple "Leopard" and Microsoft "Vista" both make list of biggest disappointments of the year	(78)
(Some Guy)		StarTrek.com - Boldly going away	(62)
		And the scientist created life, and it was good	(192)
		Iran shuts down 24 internet cafes "using immoral computer games, storing obscene photos ... and the presence of women wearing improper hijab". Oh yeah	(464)
		If you've ever suspected the UN is staffed by a bunch of Emos, here's your proof: Climate change expert breaks down in "flood of tears" at conference. Also says no one understands him, threatens to cut himself	(49)
		A comet targeted for a flyby with NASA's Deep Impact spacecraft appears to have gone missing	(27)
		Student gets detention for using Firefox instead of Internet Explorer. Won't someone think of the children?	(112)
		Science is one step closer to the buttah face transplant when it is discovered liposuctioned fat contains stem cells that can be used for cosmetic reconstructive surgery	(10)
		Mars rover finds signs of microbial life	(61)
(KXAS-5)		Man displays meteorite that he says reveals the face of Jesus, subby thinks it's more like LBJ. Creedence Clearwater Revival unavailable for comment	(100)
		Guy figures out how to turn used tires into goldmine	(19)
(Some Guy)		So many Australians so afraid of being out in the sun that rickets threatens to eclipse stingray attacks as most common cause of hospitalization there	(13)
		"The rate of [human] evolution is far greater then in the last few millenia," says researcher lacking grammar nazi gene	(39)
(Some Guy)		Music makes children smarter and more athletic, scientist finds. Except if they're listening to Radiohead, a theory you probably already came to independently after meeting some of their fans	(25)