(PC Magazine)		John Dvorak says the One Laptop per Child project a naive fiasco waiting to unfold. Also compares it to letting the peasants eat cake	(49)
		Britain plans giant offshore wind turbines to supply half the countries' power by 2020, encouraging great white sharks to migrate north to feed on seagull mush	(34)
		Taser 2.0. is coming, and it's wireless. Picture looks like something from The Running Man	(30)
		Build your own plug-in hybrid car for $170	(13)
(Science Daily)		New study drops humans from third to fourth most intelligent creatures on Earth. Mice unsurprised	(46)
		Its got zombies, processed food products, botnets and japanese maids, just what you want in a commercial for software	(13)
(sciencedaily)		Prototype car not only runs on electriciy alone, it generates revenue by storing and providing electricity for utilities	(35)
(Some Damned Interested Guy)		"But the most appealing aspect was its potential to shoehorn yet more death and destruction into convenient 'fun size' packages"	(18)
		Digital radio stations try broadcasting sound with pictures in a bid to make radio a visual experience. What will they think of next?	(20)
(Daily Yomiuri)		Japanese scientists invent superstrong, superelastic spider-silk socks by extracting genes from spider web thread and injecting them into silkworm eggs. If only there were a movie to dramatize results of this process	(86)
		The Turing test may have been passed by a Russian slutbot, proving that pornography is still the throbbing force pushing the internet	(32)

		Two mp3 players enter... one mp3 player leaves	(79)
		Scientists discover the key to the evolution of the irreducibly complex, intelligently designed vertebrate eye	(75)
		Study finds children living near nuclear power plant have higher risk of cancer, super powers	(24)
		Google now has a recipe search. I, for one, welcome our culinary overlords	(29)
		Top 10 ways to destroy planet Earth with science	(45)
		"No island left behind" plan needed due to global warming. Because the previous version is working so well	(17)
(Some Guy)		It's that time... time to ogle at all the incredible new concept cars you'll never ever see again	(17)
		Drew explains Caturday to InternetNews	(35)
		DOJ: $9K Per Song in RIAA Lawsuit Damages Is Constitutional	(94)
		Nanotube-excreting bacteria could be the key to . . . well actually, we don't know. It's just awesome to say "nanotube-excreting bacteria"	(21)
		When the future goes bad: Wrecked sci-fi models	(36)
		In case you think everything Apple sells is a smash hit, I give you the Apple TV: sales are likely to fall far short of the 1 million predicted to be sold this year	(109)
		Bad news: CompUSA going out of business, Good news: no more mail-in rebates	(103)
(Caesar)		Superglue from Roman era discovered to be still holding strong. Centurion glued to Pompeii toilet seat not available for comment	(25)
		"Insurance companies now regularly use lie-detector technology to analyse customers' voices when they call in to make a claim, referring them to an investigator for an interrogation if they fall foul of the test"	(21)
		What it's like to work for Mario's father	(7)
		Smelly hippies tout seaweed as a way to combat global warming and avoid personal deodorants. Well, they were always for avoiding personal deodorants, but now they can blame it on seaweed	(14)

		The reason Kenyans keep winning foot races is quite clear now	(25)
		Apparently, a man-eating turkey is helping in the study of tuberculosis	(18)
		Google offering $20 million to the first private enterprise that can recreate NASA's lunar soundstage	(23)
(Beta News)		Latest RFID use would alert you to when a sex offender moves to within 150 feet of you, "it gives you an opportunity to gather your family, get in the car and lock the doors."	(50)
		Hurricane forecasters who inaccurately predicted the past two hurricane seasons, including the one that just ended days ago release their inaccurate forecasts for 2008	(15)
		Commodore 64 still loved after all these years	(50)
(Some Genetically Inferior Dude)		Turns out the 90s techno thriller "Gattaca" was more prophecy than fiction (although evil, submitter supports any future that creates more Umas)	(30)
		Resistance to genetically-modified food "is threatening the enormous asses of Americans"	(24)
		Jetblue isn’t the only airline with plans to connect fliers to the Web. See how the in-flight Wi-Fi plans of American, Virgin America and Alaska Airlines compare	(12)
(Some HD Guy)		Business Week: Blu-Ray is winning the HD wars, and Warner expected to put the final nail in HD-DVD's coffin	(44)
		NASA considers launching shuttle "as is" because the worst that could happen is that "the engines could continue to run dry, and explode" (with "am I really saying this" picture goodness)	(53)
		Cyberattack launched on Oak Ridge National Laboratory. Would you like to play a game?	(24)
		Development biologist files suit, claiming he was fired for his religious beliefs. Claims his creationism is in no ways a justifiable reason for firing a developmental biology researcher	(810)
		Scientists discover ancient freshwater lake draining into ocean halted the Gulf Stream, caused massive climate change, released ManBearPig from his watery prison	(63)
		Western Digital's new hard drives won't let you share any MP3s at all over a network, legally or not. RIAA, MPAA, Wicked Witch of the West cackle with delight	(88)
(Some Guy)		Self-driving BMW uses military grade GPS system	(20)
		Scientific study determines its easier to identify something when you give it a name. Still no cure for that thing named cancer	(20)
(PonderAbout)		"Gravitational Time Dilation" and the effect of gravity on time	(98)
		"The predator lizard was the size of a bus, with teeth the size of cucumbers"	(35)
(Daily Yomiuri)		Japanese grad school for the arts attempts to increase prestige by offering MA course in anime	(22)
		Canadian teens among world's most bestest in science	(61)
(Some Guy)		Study finds humans are hard wired to learn by copying. Carlos Mencia approves	(35)
(Info Week)		Microsoft wants the One Laptop Per Child to run XP. "It looks like you're trying to find some food and avoid being shot. Do you want some help with that?"	(68)
		"Children looking at their favourite websites are being exposed to hundreds of adverts, some of which are inappropriate." This headline brought to you by Fleshlight and $2.87	(21)
		From the "Sensationalistic Headlines" department: Dwarf Hippo Graveyard Could Alter Human History	(6)
(Some Guy)		The more you listen to country music, the more likely you are to commit suicide	(50)

(Some Guy)		Coolest Christmas lights you'll see, EVAR: 500,000 volts and a Tesla coil (pics)	(24)
		The latest "Grand Theft Auto 4" trailer has been released, so of course some professional geeks have broken it down frame by frame to tell you what it all means	(59)
		Big Weiner museum shows off its tiny car collection (pics)	(6)
		Scientists identify flying saucers around the planet Saturn. EVERYBODY PANIC	(24)
		Sickle cell anemia cured in mice. Jerry high-fives Mickey; Speedy Gonzales indifferent	(10)
(gamespot)		Expansion for online game "Eve Online: Trinity" deletes boot.ini file in PCs. Whoopsie	(52)
		Federal Trade Commission nails Adult Friend Finder website... but they wanted it	(26)
		Jet Blue plan to add free in-plight wi-fi. (And maybe in-flight wi-fi, too)	(16)
		Scientists figure out how to destroy planets. Surprisingly, answer is not "put humans on them"	(83)
		Kiss my shiny metal violin-playing ass	(14)
		Happy birthday to the Opthalmascope	(10)
(eWeek)		Macs are for liberals, Windows is for NASCAR dads	(88)
		Perhaps YouTube is not the best place for medical advice	(33)
		Facebook's recent downfall: "But it may say more about the press -- and today's blog-led penchant for sensationalism." This guy should write a book	(19)
(Some Guy)		A guy builds a functional Bender robot that talks, dispenses beer and brews coffee. A plot to travel back in time and kill Rupert Murdoch was unconfirmed	(22)
		If you can even comprehend the immense distances between stars, you will realize the universe is primed for loneliness. Forget about a Star Trek world	(233)
(Charleston Post and Courier)		New solar panel 15 times more powerful than old solar panels. Also runs on candy canes, snowflakes and children's laughter	(54)
		Computer maker Acer to become sponsor at 2010 Winter Olympic Games. Logos will be featured prominently on American bobsleds which will inexplicably crash at every turn	(31)
		Scientists discover that scrambled polymers kill antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Just like Drew was saying all along	(11)
(Some Guy)		What SEGA made before home consoles	(48)
(Some Guy)		Would you jump off this tower?	(46)
		British women prefer surfing the web to having sex. Especially with you	(25)
		House overwhelmingly approves bill requiring WiFi AP owners to report "obscene, indecent, or offensive" images and to retain all network traffic "indefinitely". The punishment? $300,000 per offense	(375)
		Former Christian evangelical pastor says God and Darwin are BFF's in heaven, spark up joint over platypus	(120)
		BP, GE, and others pledge to cut greenhouse emissions by 90%; the Press misses the [Satire] tag and runs with the story	(5)
(MotiveMag.com)		Top 10 phallic cars. Ace and Gary obviously not judging this contest	(47)

		Actual headline: Kangaroo farts could ease global warming	(9)
(Some Barsoomian)		Details behind Congress' ban on human travel to Mars, and how to avoid it. No details yet on how to avoid Tharks once we get there	(33)
(Some Guy)		Effectively killing their much-hyped WiMax launch, Sprint and Clearwire drop out of 700mHz spectrum auctions. VZW, AT&T, Google step in to fill the void	(18)
(Some Guy)		Russia develops the world's most advanced fighter jet that pirouettes like a ballerina in mid-air. With amazing video goodness	(124)
(Some Bored Guy)		How to turn everyday office products into weapons	(26)
(Some Wii Hacker)		George Lucas, take note: THIS is how you should do a light saber game for the Wii	(40)
		NJ may be breeding massive nutria rodents. Will have a death match with NYC subway rats to see who takes on Philadelphia	(20)
		Turns out Microsoft might be promoting HD-DVD just to mess with you until their download platform is established	(27)
(r2d2 translator)		How to get R2D2 to talk dirty to you	(15)
		Microsoft kills Santa after he says "It's fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else"	(111)
(Gamespot)		Congressmen call for more transparency in game ratings. You know, like what the MPAA does for movies	(31)
(Some Guy)		When you browse with Firefox, you're browsing with Communism	(152)
		Fit fatties healthier than thin couch potatoes, so suck it skinny minnie. Suck it like I'll be sucking down the donuts while I'm on my treadmill	(218)
		Elephants can keep tabs on up to 30 family members through scent, mental mapping, Facebook's controversial Beacon system	(4)
		Man constructs $2m system of mirrors to trap reflected sunlight. "When I got in the moonlight it was an instant and profound sense of euphoria ... it was very peaceful." Still no cure for cancer	(35)
		17-year-old British boy given an anti-social behaviour order by court after posting comments critical of police on the Internet. Freedom of speech? Not yours, limeys	(99)
		The health pros and cons of drinking alcohol	(76)
		Hubble to get its final awesome upgrade before being decommissioned forever because the $9bn it has cost thus far could have been spent killing people instead	(43)
(InformationLeak)		Microsoft figures out nobody in their right mind would steal Vista	(49)
		Study finds that Google could potentially extort and dominate the world. If only there was a website to search for an alternative	(14)
		New 3D breast scan technique produces images that are more accurate, arousing	(15)
		New sinus infection wonder drug as effective as current antibiotics, marketed under the brand name "Placebo"	(27)
(scienceblog)		Your tax dollars at work: Study explores distinction between 'different' and 'uncool'	(6)

		The next Attention Deficit Disorder?	(46)
		The 20 best iPod utilities	(32)
		Forget sticky notes. New research project from Microsoft uses inkblots to help people create and remember strong passwords	(14)
		PlayStation 3 being used to quickly crack passwords. Your 360 asplodes after lighting the red ring of death	(119)
		More than 75 percent of parents are concerned about the content in the video games they bought for their children, and 43 percent do not know there is already a rating system	(34)
		The "Windows Genuine Advantage" (sic) system has been changed to no longer actually disable pirated copies of Vista or other Microsoft programs, will now simply attempt to nag you into paying up	(65)
		Scientist contends life may have started in a sandwich, not a soup or pizza	(56)
		Consumers don’t want faster Internet speeds, pay raises, sex with Jessica Alba	(53)
		Critics give your game average scores. Do you: A) Improve it with the sequel? B) Ignore it and move on? Or C) Make up fake reviews praising the game and put them on your website?	(65)
(JPost)		Environmentalists encourage Jews to light one less candle for Chanukah to help the environment. What could possibly go farkert?	(129)
		The National Honey Board paid scientists to research whether honey is an effective cough treatment. Guess what they found. No really, guess	(41)
		"If you are still reeling from last month's news that bacon and sausages cause cancer, then the idea that the future holds only raw beansprouts may seem a bit much"	(14)
		Eat some beans, they're good for the heart. The more you eat, the more you'll... help prevent strokes	(11)
(Eu Space Agency)		Very hi-res, very clean, very clear Mars photographs. Outstanding in every aspect. Mars, biatches	(62)

(CIO.com)		Touch screen BlackBerry could actually stand a chance against the iPhone... maybe (image and tech specs)	(56)
		You're not ugly, it's just your brain	(35)
(Cracked.com)		The Top 10 Most Impossible Old School Video Games. Subby would come up with a funnier headline but he just punched a hole in his TV trying to save the dam in TMNT 1	(317)
		Scientists predict widespread adoption of "hybrid" computers that use organic tissue brains within the next 20 years. So many scifi references to make, so little headline space	(59)
(www.mg.co.za)		Swedish consultancy theorizes that Santa spends only 34 microseconds at each stop and because of its size, weight and speed, his sleigh would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second	(120)
		Sony CEO says game console wars could still be won. Nintendo CEO smirks and goes back to sleeping on bed made of money	(214)
		Three words: Japanese fighting robots	(34)
		PC World's "5 Things We Miss About Old-School Computing" list reads like a Linux feature list	(85)
		Amazon, Wal-Mart urge record companies to ditch DRM and sell songs in MP3 format. Translation for record company execs: You sell more songs, people buy more songs, you make more money	(22)
(Ars Technica)		Jeffrey Jones declares Internet Explorer more secure than Firefox. Also says Ferris Bueller has a nice butt	(32)
(Some Guy)		Study finds the best things in life cost about $5/month	(19)
(TV Squad)		Wil's review of TNG's Datalore is fully functional	(106)
		"Green" buildings make employees see red	(37)
(NASA.GOV)		Mark your calendar: The best meteor shower of 2007 peaks on Friday, December 14	(9)
		Invisible matter loses cosmic battle to interstellar gas. Which means we now we have an answer to that whole God/burrito question	(23)
(Fideaux)		Headline: "Austrian researchers train dogs to use computers." Your dog wants Linux	(13)
		The FDA is so underfunded they are afraid to eat at their own cafeteria	(18)
		Carnegie Mellon wins $14.4 million robo-tank grant from the U.S. Army after winning the DARPA Urban Challenge. Submitter welcomes his new Tartan overlords	(21)
(Some Guy)		Top 10 coolest home science experiments	(27)
		Divorces linked to global warming	(31)
		"It may not be 'evil,' but Google has lost much of the idealism that made it a new kind of company"	(28)
		Earth getting fatter, Tropics belt expands	(19)
		Doomsday author stands by his prediction that the earth's poles would shift and millions would die on 5/5/2000	(51)
(ScienceDaily)		Astronomers see silhouette of Santa Claus in Orion Nebula. I already believe	(18)
		"King Tut meets T Rex." Partially mummified dinosaur found in North Dakota, the hunt for preserved proteins is on	(157)
		Chocolate, cold cuts and sex help improve brain function. Submitter shrugs and says, "Well, two out of three ain't bad"	(64)
(Some Geek)		Artist creates Flintstone pedal car from 1986 Buick Regal, takes it for a spin in Toronto. Tasering by cops not a popular option, but available	(35)
		In Soviet Russia, blog writes you. Russian firm buys LiveJournal	(10)