All men are created equal, until we study the map of your genome and decide we really don't want to hire you	(24)
(Some Guy)		New study finds when men meet blonde women their mental performance drops because they believe they are dealing with someone less intelligent	(45)
		Apparently, liberal feminists are to blame for the extinction of Neanderthals. Or maybe it was Rosie O'Donnell. Or something	(16)
		Noah's Ark flood spurred European farming. That's stupid. Everyone knows that the flood caused the Grand Canyon	(24)
(Some Guy)		Google completely removes PayPerPost bloggers page rank	(14)
(Some Guy)		Combine a tablet, pen, and simple crayon like graphics and you have one of the spiffiest games ever	(46)
(Some Guy)		Gamer creates incredible Samus (Metroid) suit, complete with arm cannon	(45)
(Some Guy)		Rip Saw UGV tank goes from 0-60 in 3.5-seconds, will only cost you $200,000	(17)
		Expert links autism to mothers drinking, Wapner	(23)
(AppScout)		The good news: about 140 Firefox bugs will be fixed for v3.0. The bad news: there are about 700 bugs	(62)
(Belfast Telegraph)		Wii will wii will ROCK YOU	(86)

		The only people who can view your private profile on Facebook are you, your friends, Facebook employees, and anyone who asks. Like your boss	(23)
(Extreme Tech)		What the hell good is a 4,000 DPI mouse?	(42)
		A rebuilt British World War II code-cracking computer, so powerful that Winston Churchill ordered them destroyed for security reasons after the war, beaten by a home computer from Germany in a contest to decipher an encrypted radio message	(34)
		Feel-good story of the day: SF public high school team makes the finals at MIT biology competition	(7)
(IT News)		Hushmail has been handing over private emails to the US government. But to their credit, they were doing it very quietly	(27)
(Grist)		Presidential debate on climate change and energy policy. Webcast begins at 5:10 pm EST	(33)
		British video game hopes to get young people interested in politics. And who better to assist with a simulated government than Keira Knightley and Paris Hilton?	(7)
		Climate change is "severe and so sweeping that only urgent, global action" can head it off	(432)
		Teens busy having sex less likely to get into trouble. Nibble, lick, and suck it , abstinence-only	(30)
(New York Magazine)		The 10 video games that should be made into movies-- and the directors that should make them	(136)
(Some Guy)		"Team Fortress 2" not realistic enough for you? Get an FPS vest that simulates the punch of a gunshot wound to the body. What could go wrong? (Also available in pink, for the stylin' chick-geeks)	(32)
(Break)		Guy calls Verizon 56 times and asks the same two questions about their rate. Company reps give wrong answers 93% of the time. (w/audio goodness)	(51)
		Gmail is now crashing browsers	(42)
(Some Guy)		From the poorly-named car category: the Ecooter. But, hey, it only needs a PAP Smear every 50,000 miles	(48)
		In the most significant find in generations, hobbyist discovers new photos of Abraham Lincoln. At Gettysburg. In 3-D (with pics)	(136)

		The Leonids meteor shower is this weekend... HA-OOH HA-OOH HA-OOH	(26)
		Man calculates thirteenth root of 200 digit number in just over a minute. Still can't calculate his chances of getting laid	(12)
		As evidenced by his recent "All Star Batman & Robin" comic books, Frank Miller is still completely insane	(74)
(Apple)		This month, Apple announces 41 updates to their OS including 15 critical security updates. Microsoft announces two	(80)
		That banging sound you hear? PC World article hammering another nail in the coffin of Vista as they report on the possibility that businesses might skip Vista for the next Windows OS	(134)
		Onion article becomes real life as America's national parks announce plans for kids to visit via "electronic field trips" to their websites	(16)
		The Comet Holmes amazes observers with its abnormally large display. Oh it's enormous	(17)
		European Space Agency has selected a shortlist of crash sites for its next Mars lander	(6)
(Some Guy)		Con. Ed. in New York City ends 125 years of providing Direct Current electric service. Shocking	(37)
		Shockingly enough, lowering the price on PS3s increased sales. You can still buy a 360 and half a Wii for the same price, though	(85)
(Capcom)		How critically acclaimed PS2 game "Okami" came to be reinvented for the Wii. Bonus: Beer was involved	(18)
		Tired of "Super Mario Galaxy" already? Then check out a trailer for Nintendo's M-rated followup	(34)
(EQ2flames)		It's a classic story: Girl meets guy in an MMO, meets him in real life and cheats on her husband, so husband posts it all online	(79)
		Do lobsters feel pain when you cook them alive? Yes, study shows. Do you really care if they feel pain? No, because they're so delicious	(232)
(Some Evil Guy)		HumVee with a friggn' laser beam on its head	(21)
		Five PowerPoint slides you can use to spice up your next presentation	(180)
		Microsoft wins patent suit over XP boot-up technology	(26)
(Some Trashy Gal)		MIT scientists develop a new process to deal with the shrinking landfill problem: Zap the waste with man-made lightning	(93)
		Fifty musicians will use laptop computers to form the biggest digital orchestra in the world	(26)
(Some Guy)		Patient booked for routine knee operation receives "complex and life-threatening" brain surgery, proves Fermat's last theorem	(54)
		Vuze, a company that distributes legal video content online using peer-to-peer technology, has filed a complaint with the FCC over the efforts of ISPs like Comcast to restrict P2P traffic	(22)
		New device lets you aim at any object in the night sky and automatically identify it	(51)
		"Our kids are being taught that to be a good citizen of this world you got to buy the right stuff"	(23)
		Details on how the Chinese weather service will intercept incoming clouds to prevent a rainy Olympics	(27)
		A three-mile-wide ball of rock and ice that may have crashed into the ocean 5000 years ago could be the origin of many ancient flood myths. Where's your Kracken now?	(68)

(Some Guy)		"It's rare to play through a perfect game or one that nears perfection, but 'Super Mario Galaxy' definitely fits that mold. Hell, it's broken it"	(68)
(Psy.blog)		Farker educational alert: Why we do dumb or irrational things: 10 brilliant social psychology studies	(23)
		Electronic cigarette delivers nicotine through an atomiser with no tar, no carbon monoxide and no cancer-causing chemicals. Drawbacks are that they're $358/pack and you can't put them out in someone's eye	(35)
		Another day, another "global warming is worse than we predicted before" study	(38)
(Some Guy)		Thirty-six years ago today, Intel released the first commercially available processing chip: The 4-bit 4004	(15)
		Gmail is losing email	(58)
(Gamespot.com)		Survey finds Mario to be more well-known than Paris Hilton. Paris said to be inconsole-able	(34)
		Since World of Warcraft didn't already have enough control over nerds everywhere, it now comes with an embedded program that allows Blizzard to modify or read any file on players computers	(60)
(Some Space Guy)		What's the largest object in the solar system? If you guessed the Sun, guess again	(66)
		Coppers nab "Hacker of the Year." (God, let's hope that contest doesn't include a swimsuit competion)	(23)
		Researchers have found the long sought Oral Sex Gene (BJ753), research now proceeds to nuptial confection injection trials	(249)
(Planetary Society)		Coolest pictures of Earth taken by a visiting spacecraft that you will see all day	(7)
(Some Guy)		32-megajoule rail gun developed that can blow your head clean off. You've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?	(64)
		Did the NSA put a secret backdoor in new encryption standard? Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?	(187)
		Dinosaur found with vacuum-like mouth to suck up food. Subby hereby dubs it a "Dukeosaur"	(22)
		Ariane rocket launches UK Skynet satellite. Your Nazi/Terminator/Dave Matthews references asplode	(17)
		Singapore bans video game that shows interplanetary lesbian couble making out. In other news, submitter now knows what to ask Santa for	(46)
		Scientists "on the brink" of translating paralysed man's thoughts into words	(37)
		Surfer dude stuns physicists with theory of everything. Apparently, it was as easy as counting to 42. Who knew?	(169)
		Mozilla won't fix 80 percent of Firefox 3.0's bugs	(75)
		Tropical fish have evolved to live out of water for months on time in order to attend church and play lawn darts with Jesus	(294)
(Some Climber)		Mt. Everest cell-phone service successfully tested by China Mobile	(19)
		The Artist currently known as Buttmuncher sends DMCA takedown notice to b3ta over photoshop contest	(55)
(Gamespot)		"Ghostbusters 3" is coming... as a videogame. Difficulty: Ramis is writing the script	(49)
		Alaska-based I.T. guy wins SysAdmin of the Year award. Prize includes Gibson guitar	(11)
		Old and busted: Phishing. New hotness: Whaling	(15)
		Microsoft confirms downloadable Xbox games, then admits, "We got issues"	(66)
		You think your I.T. department is slow? These guys took 60 years to fix a computer	(32)

(Some Guy)		Researchers: "Um--know how we diagnosed all those kids with ADHD and gave 'em Ritalin? Oops--Ritalin doesn't help ADHD, although it does stunt their growth. No hard feelings?"	(60)
(ThatsFit.com)		In case you were wondering, goat testicles don't taste like eggs. Difficulty: No, really. That's the actual headline	(13)
		Hacker breaks into Pentagon network; gets routed to a hostile applet that takes down the hacker's server. So he apologized. Just kidding: He wants protection from"offensive use of information war"	(64)
		"Of all the accusations made by the vociferous community of climate sceptics, surely the most damaging is that science itself is biased against them"	(73)
(RCR News)		Wireless carrier rolls out "idle screen advertising", granting users up to a 3% discount on their monthly bill. "As for complaints of interference, users only require 3 keypresses to skip a given advertisement"	(36)
		Recent study concludes that bipolar disorder is 75 to 80% hereditary. That's terrific news, because SON OF A BIATCH, WHY ARE YOU READING MY HEADLINE?? I've never been so sad in my life. Jackasses	(29)
		Boeing completes prototype heat shield for NASA's Orion spacecraft	(28)
(Some Guy)		And so it begins, article on the Vista deathwatch. See ya, been nice knowing ya, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya	(168)
(JAXA)		Coolest HD movie of the earth setting on the moon taken by a Japanese lunar probe you'll see today	(25)
		Half a million database servers have no firewall	(35)
(Science Daily)		In perhaps the greatest scientific discovery of all time, the nitrates in bacon have been found to minimize the damage caused by heart attacks. Bonus: they don't cause cancer either	(188)
(Some Googler)		Suggesting it may have lost the Battle of the Search Engines™, Microsoft now pays users to search using Live.com, forward emails to all your friends	(14)
		Study: sitting too close to the computer screen can make you go blind. Subby wonders what the difference is between TV and computer screens	(29)
(NASA)		NASA study confirms that Arctic ice fluctuations are part of a natural cycle. Tells Al Gore where to shove his Nobel Prize	(96)
		1) Your son used your credit card for Xbox Live. 2) The automatic renewal puts your card into overdraft. 3) Sue Microsoft	(52)
		Spaceflights are now being sold on Virgin Galactic for $50,000 per minute. If thats too expensive you can go to the International Space Station for only $1,240 a minute. Subby still waiting for price quote to ride in the Death Star	(50)
		Learn how zombies work, ways to defend yourself from and attack, and why the government once thought of creating a zombie army	(70)
		Is that a bone in your drawers or are you just glad to see me?	(8)
		Researchers say women could constantly binge-drink without doing any harm to their unborn child. Somewhere Britney is shouting "I told you so"	(92)
		Headline: Life on Earth may have come from Mars. Article: Some biological material on a rock we sent into orbit on a satellite survived when we brought it back to Earth	(22)

		Someone trips over power cable and causes the worlds biggest computer reboot. Geeks every where heard crying because of lost uptime	(24)
(Some Guy)		The "Cosmos"-less Science Channel Discussion Thread	(274)
		IBM supercomputer hits 478 teraflops. 15 FPS in FSX no longer a dream; assuming Complexity below 5, of course	(31)
		Flush with success after knocking down Microsoft, EU investigators now looking into the Google/DoubleClick deal	(9)
		Old & busted: Legos. New Hotness: The Bugbase - now your kid can snap together a combination fort/RFID scanner/CO2 detector... with GPS	(25)
(Some Guy)		HD-DVD owners buy 6 times as many discs as Blu-ray owners. Blu-ray still outselling HD-DVD 2 to 1. Does not compute	(117)
		Scientists discover remains of last common ancestor of gorillas, chimpanzees, Kevin Federline, and humans	(60)
		Google offers prizes, golden ticket for best cell phone software	(21)
		$200 Wal-Mart Linux PC sells out. Page on company web site filled with glowing reviews by customers	(90)
(Some Climate Guy)		Global Temperatures Graph showing temps from 2500 B.C to 2007 A.D. Looks like it will be warming up quite a bit more	(104)
		Are you happy with the high cost of prescription drugs? Be sure to thank a pharmaceutical lobbyist	(25)
		Researchers document ADHD is due to neurodevelopmental delay that corrects with time. Submitter wonders if this is synonymous with "immaturity."	(29)
(ThinkGeek)		Q: How cool is a t-shirt that lights up when you get near a WiFi hotspot? A: Just as cool as it is dorky	(42)
		Scientists see the early universe in grains of sand when they are hopped up on goofballs	(14)
(The Consumerist)		Too much dust in your PS3? Oh yeah, that's a voided warranty	(88)
		After 250 years of classifying life on the planet, 90 percent remains unknown	(35)
		Three words that will make oil company execs soil themselves when reading their morning papers today: "cheap, abundant hydrogen"	(389)
(Some Guy)		Body armor withstands M67 grenade blast, looks like dragon skin	(50)
(Some Guy)		World's fastest elevator shoots passengers up 84 floors in 37-seconds	(23)
		A scorpion's toxin can be used to kill specific harmful insects while not harming the environment. The Rock raises his eyebrow in approval	(12)
		Teh slotioun ot dsyleixa	(14)
		The top ten bad things that are good for you and, yes, beer made the list	(28)
		ADHD medication may stop by... Honey comb's big, yeah yeah yeah. It's not small, no no no	(267)
		British Intelligence Agencies insert recruitment ads into "Splinter Cell: Double Agent"	(6)
		Old scare: Lead in toys. New fright: Mercury in flu shots	(46)
		Stephen Colbert rejoices as world's smallest bear faces extinction	(10)
(Some Guy)		IPod encased in clear resin, showing off all its parts, and still works? Yes, please	(27)
		Cool: Send email citing family emergency as excuse to miss work. Dumbass: Post pictures of yourself on FaceBook at Halloween party you actually went to. Obvious: Boss finds it, responds to email and cc's entire company	(149)

		Britain's most influential reviewers of books, films and music on Amazon is an unemployed recluse who doesn't own a television or have the Internet	(14)
(Some Girl)		Masseuse becomes multimillionaire at Google. Must have rubbed somebody the right way	(15)
		Archaeologists discover prehistoric women loved fashion, jewelry, and wearing miniskirts to distract the working men. You've come a long way, baby	(9)
		Chocolate began as a celebratory beer-like beverage. A status beer-like beverage. Beer	(8)
(Science Daily)		Hey doc, that tube you stuck up my urethra is glowing green. Is that a bad sign?	(12)
		Obvious: Japan's broadband speed is 10X that of the United States. Inexcusable: France's is 5X faster than ours	(52)
		Zurprizingly, the new Zune doesn't zuck	(69)
		Google releases Android	(67)
(Some Guy)		New Zealand college student invents device that turns warm beer icy cold in seconds. Someone call the Nobel Committee, we have next year's winner	(22)
		Remember the goats sacrificed to fix the airplane? The plane has been fine since the ceremony	(4)
		The coolest, most advanced self-tuning guitar you'll see all week	(40)
(Devicepedia)		Samsung prepares to release the 128GB flash card. All your porns are belong to us	(25)
		Bill before Congress to end college funding for schools that don't kiss RIAA/MPAA ass	(129)
(Some Guy)		World of Warcraft player accidentally finds fun bug	(52)
(Albany Times Union)		Peter Robinson is a speed freak with a dream. A dream, a supercharger, a tank of nitrous, and just maybe the world's fastest pickup truck	(28)
		People who suffer minor strokes found to be in imminent danger of suffering major strodki db sptky kL;;oS,c	(12)
		Wikipedia founder urges people to think of the good things about Internet collaboration and research. He also blows goats	(27)
(Some Guy)		Maxtor personal storage drives shipped pre-loaded with virus to save time	(40)
		Doctors finally realizing that using powerful psychoactive drugs on children isn't as useful as parenting and discipline	(56)
(Some Old Guy)		Porsche introduced all-wheel-drive, petrol-electric hybrid car... 108 years ago	(10)
		CNN has fake anchors on fake newscasts reporting made-up news inside an artificial reality bubble separated from the real world. Oh, and now they also have a newscast in "Second Life"	(12)
(Some Guy)		The top 10 shockingly bad tech ads	(25)
(BJ)		Regulation of the localization and activity of inositol 1,4,5-trisphosphate 3-kinase B in intact cells by proteolysis... who knew?	(47)
		Optimism, it turns out, is best in moderation. Bummer	(10)
		Dinosaurs were really killed by volcanoes. Suck it, anthropomorphic global warming advocates	(62)
		Study suggests the earlier you lose your virginity, the less likely you are to become a delinquent. Schoolteachers are ahead of the curve as they bang out a more stable society, one student at a time	(127)
		Intel unveils a new chip that will allow us to view porn faster and in higher definition. In other news, porn stars sign up for plastic surgery in record numbers	(16)
		Today's WTF moment can be summed up by three words: Menstrual blood bank	(22)