(Some Dollar Bill)		Ovulating strippers get better tips. Here comes the science	(63)
(Austin American Statesman)		8-year-old boy employed evaluating software for a Silicon Valley company. Seriously	(15)
		Company wooing industry clients to dump 100 tons of iron into Pacific Ocean to stop global warming	(23)
		Thousand-year-old boats uncovered as lake dries up from drought	(11)
(WAOI .com)		After years of Fark headlines telling her what dogs want, to stay off lawns, and complaining there's still no cure for cancer, teen does all three at once and invents cure for dog cancer	(113)
		The 21 foot X-Wing pulls a Porkins	(45)
		Global warming is real, it's caused by human activity, and we must do something about it. It's just that everything we're doing about it is wrong	(57)
(Some Guy)		Ever wondered when fire was discovered? How about the wheel?	(45)
(PonderAbout)		A discussion and simulation of the collision and merger of the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies and their supermassive black holes	(22)
		Are you left or right-brained? Try this test	(154)
		Scientists say the increase of tumors in the Tazmanian Devil population is the result of inbreeding, uncontrollable spinning (warning: tumor pic)	(11)
(Bloomberg)		New study finds that for men, every extra 10 minutes of daily grooming increases their weekly wages by 6 percent. Here comes the science	(19)
(Science Daily)		Strong emotions linked to hormones. And the stronger the emotion, the louder the moans	(15)

		They say you can't build a better mousetrap. Except when you build one with infrared beams and carbon dioxide to zap and gas the little bastards. Then you have	(29)
		Hyundai finally admits its cars suck with the unveiling of its concept car, the i-Blue	(38)
		Real life Warthog. Suck it, Peugeot Hoggar	(34)
(DailyTech)		Transparent plastic polymer is strong as steel (with classic pic)	(21)
		Nerds panic as the best pro gamers turn out to be guys with girlfriends, hobbies and upper bodies that don't look like the chickens you see hanging in the windows of Chinese grocery stores	(18)
		Malaysia creates guidebook for Musliiiiims iiiiiiin spaaaaaaaaace	(22)
(Some Guy)		Hulk smash PC mod	(12)
		Artificial lifeform is created. Suck it Creationists	(87)
		Subby fondly remembers when cell phones were just phones. Will tell you to get off his lawn right after he takes this call	(23)
		Patton Oswalt and the Unsolvable Physics Problem	(52)
		Scientists finally figure out the function of the appendix. If you guessed a "bacteria safe house for the intestines" in your office betting pool, get ready for payday	(42)

		Actual headline: "Tiny Galaxy Spotted Halfway Across the Universe." In other news, the universe is no longer infinite	(82)
		Linux sucks	(102)
(SCiieencce!)		If you live in Canada you can get a lobotomy for only $300	(59)
		Female university students more likely to start binge eating if they go to school far from home, joining binge-drinking and binge-farking to form the Great Trifecta of Obvious	(22)
		Life imitates "Far Side" as government plans surprise inspections of workers handling deadly diseases	(30)
		Reasearchers say a swarm of flying mirrors could be the best way to save earth from a catastrophic asteroid collision. Still no cure for cancer	(38)
		Japan places satellite in orbit around the Moon. Meanwhile, NASA can't even get the tailoring on its spacesuits right	(35)
		"It looks like you have cancer, would you like help?"	(11)
		The Great Firewall of China: Not so much	(15)
(Montgomery Scott)		"You realize that by giving him the formula you're altering history." "Why? How do we know he didn't invent the thing?"	(57)
		How knots are formed. Here comes the science	(40)
		First gay marriage, now this. We tried to warn you, but noooooo, you wouldn't listen	(33)
		Old and busted: British teachers afraid to teach about Holocaust. New hotness: afraid to teach evolution	(103)
		Possible cause spotted for random freezing of new iMacs. It's a feature called "Freezing" that apparently just works	(79)
		Real business people use Blackberries. RIMM ships 20,000,000th device. Suck it, iPhone	(82)
		Ford's 2008 Mustang convertible is the first ragtop to ever score a perfect five stars in NHTSA crash tests	(50)

(RCR News)		Verizon: "This open-access 700mHz nonsense is harmful to consumers and will only result in higher costs. We demand an immediate court order to halt said access, in the interest of the consumer" US Court of Appeals: "No, LOL"	(30)
(IP Factor)		United States Patent 20060014125: A training system which enables a human being to acquire sufficient hyperspace energy in order to pull the body out of dimension so that the person can walk through solid objects such as wooden doors	(44)
(Popular Science)		Old and Busted: tinfoil hats. New and Improved: Clothing coated in nanoparticles to repel bacteria, dirt, and presidential campaign commercials	(8)
(Some Guy)		Halo 3 took in $300 million in its first week. Money that could have easily been spent on hookers and blow	(75)
(Network Performance Daily)		10 years of Slashdot: An interview with Rob Malda. Technically, Fark's been going on 10 years too, but the first two years of Fark were just pictures of a well-endowed squirrel	(36)
(Universe Today)		Speed of light is a universal constant, except when it's not. In other news, Einstein turns over in his grave	(88)
(Some Visionary)		Sir Arthur C. Clarke on Sputnik's 50th, space elevators, and the Great Beyond	(37)
		Russia and US agree to combine their soundstage building abiliites for both the moon and Mars	(12)
		33% of US kids pop diet pills. If recent visit to the mall is any guide, Submitter thinks 100% pop stupid pills	(27)
(NYTimes)		Today in History: Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeeep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeeep. EVERYBODY PANICKED	(171)
(Some Guy)		From the better late than never department: Yahoo Mail to block phony eBay and PayPal emails	(10)
(ESA)		NGC 3603: Hot hot star-on-star action (with SFW pics)	(19)
		Forget about peak oil - the next hot thing is salt power	(32)
		Nobel Prize winners let down their hair and show their silly sides, make the obvious puns about D-channel addressing	(11)
		The coolest toy you'll see all day: the Tenori-On, straight outta Japan	(91)
		If it quacks like a duck and has a bill like a duck, then it's probably a . . . dinosaur?	(22)

		An Earth-like planet appears to be forming some 424 light years away. (with cool picture of the Klingon moon Praxis exploding)	(51)
		Farkers everywhere can loosen up a bit, new studies endorse the virtual colonoscopy over the traditional way	(17)
(RCR News)		Verizon Wireless launches the ultimate iPhone killer. Bonus: Includes broadband access at launch. Suck it, iFanboys	(60)
		Wussification of the Nanny State continues as Britain proposes giving all boys vaccines to protect them against cervical cancer	(71)
(DailyTech)		The US can now safely go back to ignoring the rest of the world	(62)
		Snore-eliminating computerized pillow JUST might keep Submitter's wife from ripping his soft palate out with pliers	(32)
		Google's 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button to stay despite the fact that Google executives have long known that almost no one uses it. "If we took it away, there would be mass protests worldwide"	(63)
(Some Lava)		Did the Earth move for you? Watch 10 hours of lava flowing from Kilauea compressed into 20 seconds	(19)
		Gold rings make wearer invisible. LOTR trifecta in play	(36)
		Aliens forced Americans out from the Moon	(76)
		Actual headline: "Can a nun cure Alzheimers?" Article's answer: "No"	(27)
		The study we've all been waiting for: booze makes you clever	(64)
		New battery being touted that will last 30 years -- or enough power to supply your iPod until you need hearing aids	(45)
		Behind the scenes of PC game "Enemy Territory: Quake Wars"	(27)
(Common Ground)		Theoretical physicist frustrated that every time there's a breakthough in string theory, his Hare Krishna brother brags that it was already documented in his religious books centuries ago	(115)
		The best of Harvard's Ig Nobel Prize winners for real but weird science	(30)
		Blind people speak out against the danger of quieter (hybrid) automobiles. Also concerned about rearranged furniture, plungers left in toilets	(145)
		In 1965, when he was 17 years old, Ray Kurzweil appeared on primetime national television to demonstrate a computer he invented that could compose music. So, what have you done with your life?	(45)
		Eye of Sauron is watching the Earth masturbate	(29)
(Some Guy)		Microsoft to consumers who considering an iPod: Check out these new Zunes	(134)
		Classic "Doctor Who" villains, the Sontarans, will be appearing in the 2008 series. Bonus: Their leader will be played by Mike from The Young Ones	(40)
		At the Canadian Institute of Pulling Numbers out of Thin Air, Pollution kills about 25,000 Canadians a year	(17)
		Not content with the disastrous onset of global warming, entrepreneurs make plans to develop Amazon	(20)
		In case you've stopped panicking about bird flu, Swedish scientist says Tamiflu vaccine may help spawn an uber-resistant strain. EVERYONE PANIC - AGAIN	(59)
(physorg.com)		Russian astronomer claims an asteroid could hit the earth in 2029. EVERYBODY PANIC	(34)

		Sorry gals, looks like that whole "I'm just eating for two" scam is busted	(48)
		Asteroid named after George Takei in honor of his work on such space shows as '3rd Rock From The Sun' and 'Futurama'	(45)
(Some Guy)		Bored scientists have now figured out how to coat water with diamonds, start it on fire and use it as a bridge	(19)
(Some Professor)		Got mac?	(129)
		Next time you check or uncheck "Preview before submit," make sure to send your checks to IBM	(27)
(Toms Games)		Simpsons Neverquest trailer - "You shall not pass... wind"	(18)
		Cost of outfitting a soldier in the infantry has risen 100 times since World War II	(37)
(Some Green Guy)		"The Incredible Hulk" script review. Ang Lee green with envy	(35)
(The Scientist)		Scientists need to "better package" their research so their data can compete with the pseudoscience that PR-savvy creationists and conservative politicians keep promoting. Still no cure for a scientifically illiterate public	(50)
(Some Guy)		One of the best descriptions as to why SIM-unlocked iPhones might be rendered inoperable by the iPhone 1.1.1 update, without assuming evil intent on Apple's part	(15)
		Ballmer: Facebook "just a fad"?	(39)
(Some Guy)		High carb dieters slimmer, more healthy. Pass the beer	(185)
		Neanderthal remains discovered in Siberia, proving that they ranged much farther than previously understood in their quest for easy-to-understand car insurance policies	(12)
		New IBM supercomputer the equivalent of a stack of laptop computers a mile and a half high. In other news, processors now measured in height of equivalent laptop computers	(42)
		Old-fashioned blocks beat Mozart, baby DVDs, even flash cards in helping make toddlers smarter. They're also good in helping a toddler's younger sibling develop good reflexes to get away from said block-throwing toddler	(67)
		"When You Buy Red Meat, Looks Can Be Deceiving." I hate you, Milkman Dan	(34)
		AT&T swears it's not angling to pull the plug on its 'Net critics. Of course, who can believe those evil bas	(51)
		Hurricane "expert" William Gray desperately backs and fills, now calling for two hurricanes instead of five in next two months, adding plaintive "...please?"	(85)
		Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Dude... It's a freakin' X-WING	(45)
(Atari Age)		Atari comic book for "Yars' Revenge: The Qotile Ultimatum." Question: If the race of Yars were so utopian, why would they seek revenge? Would not "Yars' Justice" be apropros?	(20)
		FTC zaps spyware scam	(16)
		Robotic "therapy tiles" help recovering patients, aid in separation of weak from strong at Soylent Green factory	(3)
		Study shows crazy young people become crazy old people	(48)
		James Randi Foundation offers $1 million for proof that audiophile quality $7000 speaker cables better than ordinary cables	(484)
		Yahoo seeks to break Google's dominance by upgrading its search engine to make it "more helpful and engaging." In other news, did anybody know Yahoo has a search engine?	(29)
		Begun, this cell phone war has	(21)
		Lawyer caught cheating in video game, has account banned. Sues company for $8,000	(23)
(Some Guy)		Boeing 747 to make flight using bio-fuel. Oh wait, I've seen this, when Captain Coyote straps an Acme rocket to his ass and takes off. Yeah, I remember that, it didn't end so well	(22)
		Scientists say the sabre-toothed tiger was really just a pussycat at heart, which explains Fred Flintstone's choice of pets	(27)
		In case kids today aren't dumb enough, they've now taken the one useful educational aspect away from Monopoly: the paper money. I, for one, welcome our new math-tarded overlords	(131)

(Some Guy)		Ford Motor Company joins MIT in hopes of bringing its vehicles up to what was considered the cutting edge of technology in 1979	(23)
		Sony TV using organic light-emitting diodes resulting in a screen only 3mm thick. 11" screens to go on sale in December for close to $2,000 ... or wait a few months and buy a Chinese version for less than half that	(23)
(Some Guy)		Safari browser achieves 5% market share. That's like 6% in Canadian	(47)
(Some Guy)		EBay takes $1.4 billion hit on Skype, announces $10.00 listing fee increase	(9)
		The Beer Goggles effect works on hearing as well. The more you drink the more selective your hearing becomes. Not only does she look like Scarlet Johanson, she sounds like her too	(22)
		Wii goes Wee Wee on the Pee Ess Three. And thusly goesey the most juvenile headline ever	(48)
		"Online social networks are Web sites that enable people to create a network of connections to other individuals." Has Ric Romero moved to Computer World?	(7)
		Sony to launch ultra-thin TV to display networks ultra-thin content	(31)
		Should I keep playing this game? A helpful chart for married gamers	(73)
		Navy to spend $100 million for sonar range that can more efficiently kill whales and dolphins	(17)
(Dogs in the news)		Declassified material shows that Laika, the first dog in orbit, died of fright right after takeoff	(72)
		"Public relations firm Eastwick Communications stages team-building contests that challenge employees to sneak into Google's free cafeteria"	(9)
		Good news: Chocolate cures depression. Bad news: Chocolate increases ass size	(30)
		Amar Bose discusses how to replicate the sound of live music by using technology. Discussion of why his speakers are all middle with no top and bottom will hopefully come next week	(65)
		I'm in UR lungs... aw, the heck with that. Damn cats cause asthma. LOL	(31)
(Some Guy)		In case of extra Mac II computers, turn them into a couch	(10)
(news-leader.com)		Owner of Ask.com relaunches iWon site. Jeeves set the wayback machine for 2000, settling into the post-Y2K doldrums	(6)
		Turns out the Sputnik launch of 50 years ago was half unplanned and half scam	(104)
(Some Guy)		One simple technique to ruin that incredibly important floppy disk	(32)
		Microsoft decides to offer its Office suite online for free to anyone that's shelled out the money for Microsoft Office. Plus, there's no maintenance fees until you're completely dependent on the service	(17)
		Verizon FiOS installation goes off without a hitch. And if you don't know why this is newsworthy, you haven't been paying attention	(27)
		Vatican hosts conference on astronomy. Galileo still not invited	(59)