"Computer geeks beware: your days are over. A 'charm academy' is being created for IT students in response to employer complaints that too many lack basic social and business skills"	(72)
(A Moon-Phone)		Prize offered for the first mobile phone call from the Moon - can you hear me in space?	(76)
		Academics find "uhms" and "ers" by speakers, like, significantly help understanding	(37)
		OK, cure for cancer can wait a little while. Doctor comes up with formula for perfect boobies. (SFW)	(44)
		"The International Space Station is an orbital turkey. No important science has come out of it...The whole manned spaceflight program, which is so enormously expensive, has produced nothing of scientific value."	(104)
		Think men are smarter than women? You're right. Think women are smarter than men? That's true too. Here comes the science	(32)

		Oxford scientists mathmatically prove quantum theory of multiple universes. Shift happens	(92)
		Tom Petty's 'Free Fallin' on the Nintendo DS (video)	(52)
		"During copulation, males of these species pierce the abdomens of their mates with their genitals and ejaculate directly into their blood"	(44)
		Penguins rejoice, Linux is "hot again." Bonus: Fox News article	(79)
		Halo 3 expected to take in at least $125 million in the first 24 hours of nerdgasm tuesday	(122)
		Biofuel combustion creates twice as much nitrous oxide as previously thought, which could exacerbate global warming far worse than burning oil, and turn Earth into a giant whip-it	(72)
		Conservation group: The rare Chinese crested tern is almost extinct. Nation of China: OM NOM NOM	(26)
		The plant that ate the south may not be all bad after all	(34)
		Woman who came in contact with rabid bat saved by Facebook. No it wasn't poked to death	(43)
		Apple admits that some iPod touchscreens are flawed. Where is your god now?	(67)
(Some Guy)		How to identify the four types of UNIX system administrators. A handy guide	(50)
(Some Guy)		Geologic evidence indicates the North Pole may belong to Mother Russia after all	(16)
		Laser surgery in wrong hands can be dangerous. That's some fine investigative work there Lou	(9)

(RCRWirelessNews)		Verizon announces move to next generation of UMTS. Soon no more CMDA	(38)
(Some Guy)		Apple customers are revolting. They're pissed at Apple too	(106)
		NASA replaces blown seal on shuttle's landing gear, offers to help Heidi Klum next	(21)
		Ditch your air guitars and prepare to rock again: The rumored "Guitar Hero III" set list	(116)
		Amanda Congdon and her world-class breasts are gone from ABC.com	(176)
(Science Daily)		Scientists discover that species try to make up in reproductive quantity what they lack in quality, which may explain "clown car" families	(33)
		British Navy allows blogging aboard its ships for first time ever. But really, how interesting could it possibly be? "Day 1: Rum. Day 2: Sodomy. Day 3: The lash"	(118)
(The Inquirer)		The $30 billion lost to piracy in Canada? RCMP admits they just made it up	(70)
(Kingston Sub-Standard)		Mainstream media discovers that pretards are using Facebook to plan their rowdy drinking parties. Well stop the freaking presses	(58)
		Apple's options for nixing open source iPhone use	(23)
		NASA to launch gamma-ray telescope. "We're not anticipating any problems," says project director Reed Richards	(16)
		NASA's moonbase plans include a larger habitat for astronauts and "sportier" rovers. No word on whether the plans include making any kind of actual scientific achievement	(22)
		Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MoRbO) sends images to filthy humans. Showing Mars might have had liquid water in the past decades	(20)
		YouTube bends over for creationist whackjobs, bans Rational Response Squad videos	(112)
		How Mario and Lara changed the world: The 10 most influential games EVAR	(137)
(Some Guy)		Eight-five percent of houses in Britain have digital TV, ensuring that residents never again miss an episode of "I Say, There's a Bumbershoot in My Lavoratory" and lame British remakes of "The Office"	(46)
		Donkey Kong Live	(31)
(Some Engrish Guy)		New photocopier translates English to Japanese, Japanese to Engrish	(23)

(Some Guy)		New experiment challenges the dynamics of Earth’s inner core. New models suggest a very pliable, spongy looking deep mantle	(25)
(seriouswheels.com)		Pics of the BMW V10 powered Wiesmann GT MF 5. Smitty likey	(44)
		Remember the scene in "Jurassic Park" where the velociraptors were chasing the kids in the kitchen? Well, in reality it would be like "revenge of the pissed-off Thanksgiving turkeys"	(45)
		Nerds rejoice: Hobbits may be more real than your girlfriend who... uh... moved to Canada	(19)
		It's not the 25th anniversary of the emoticon... it's at least the 40th. Suck it, Carnegie Mellon	(20)
(Some Guy)		Best invention ever: Alarm clock that wakes you up with bacon	(37)
		I'll take The Penis Mightier for $190, Alex	(26)
		Ever wanted to pretend you are a cat? Now you can have some whiskers	(20)
(www.ozone layer.noaa.gov)		The ozone hole is shrinking and should be gone by December. So there, econazis	(81)
(Electronic House)		Study: People want TVs you can talk to. We also want ones that make ice cream and give massages	(26)
		Australia cracked top-secret US jet fighter codes. It's okay, though, because we knew what they were doing the whole time	(21)
		Scientists aim to barcode world's species. They can check zebras off the list	(22)
		Paleontologists find fossilized remains of six young dinosaurs in a nursery, complete with the remains of a big, purple trilobite	(17)
		Discovering Wi-Fi blankets too costly, some cities abandon their promises of access for everyone, everywhere	(44)
		Irish defence forces secretly tracked UFO sightings for 37 years. And in a country where whiskey is a breakfast food, reported sightings included flying fried eggs and hovering irons	(68)
		Cells that make sperm also make stem cells. Oh nuts	(44)
		The last bastion of relative peace and solitude in NYC is about to fall: the MTA is wiring the subways to allow cell phone usage. What could possib.... [signal lost]	(21)
		How much does the careless computer store owe the clueless customer?	(43)
		PS3's version of "Second Life" is behind schedule. Apparently none of the avatars could afford the $500 price tag	(160)
		Widgets may look cute and fun but they are also big security risks. How big of a risk? Even Macs are vulnerable	(34)
		Thermite vs. French Car. Hosted by Richard Hammond - He's that British guy from that British show about cars, you bloody tosser	(56)
		Suit against blogger confronts anonymity enjoyed by blogulation. Defamed yarn barns, LOL cats, and presidential candidates rejoice	(22)
		SCO is SCOwned	(23)
		Scientists in Georgia unearth four human-like creatures planted by God to trick us	(24)
(NASA)		Giant trilobite attacks the sun, or, the coolest time-lapse magnetogram video you'll see today of a sunspot	(19)
		Finally, the perfect storage for your portable kitten killing pr0n collection - Domo-Kun USB Drives (w/ cute-as-hell pictures)	(6)

		That meteorite from Peru turns out to be a meteorwrong	(32)
(Spartan 117)		Ladies: If you were planning on dressing up in official "Halo" lingerie for that special man in your life... you can't. Although your boyfriend is still a lucky, lucky bastard	(31)
		Turns out Ameritrade knew about data leak way back in Jan. '06. They only told customers Friday. Sam Waterston says he'll prosecute	(15)
		The top 10 things you didn't know about you. Really more like the top two or three things you didn't know about you. With not safe for lunch pic (see item 4)	(34)
(Ars Technica)		Not news: Music industry sends DMCA notice to torrent site. News: It's over emails. Fark: The legal response starts "Dearest little Ass-tunnels" and ends with "eaten by Cthulhu"	(194)
		Cisco offers a glimpse at the risky business of acquisitions	(10)
		ICANN wants to finish off the Soviet Union	(15)
(Some Guy)		Hot girl-on-alien lesbian sex in new video game will surely not cause any controversy	(178)
		Google hopes to make surfing the Internet even more annoying by placing ads inside interactive "widgets"	(14)
(Zune Scene)		Microsoft readies Zune 2 as competitor against Apple for holiday sales. Touts new "squircle" button and "mickey mouse" like play/back buttons. This profit quarter will end well	(55)
		Apple to launch iPhone in Germany on Nov. 9. You know who else liked cutting-edge wireless communication?	(45)
		I'm a 13-year-old virus in ur Vista fixing ur master boot record	(58)
		Ford and Microsoft pair up to build something that actually works	(27)
		Amputees now have a website. It's reported that all versions of the login "Stumpy" are already taken	(76)
		♪ Galileo (Galileo), Galileo (Galileo), Galileo funding-magnifico-o-o ♪	(44)
		Hardcore gamers end up with high-paying jobs, attract more beautiful mates and are happier in their lives compared to others. Just kidding, they have low grade-point averages and are losers	(180)
		Medical log, supplemental: HP invents patch which can be used to painlessly inject medicines	(12)
(Wasted Rage)		Playstation 4: Is Sony quietly exiting the console race?	(99)
(wilwheaton)		Wil Wheaton to appear in an episode of "Family Guy"	(71)
(DefenceTalk)		Fasten your seatbelts, Mach 6 is here	(18)
		U.S. Air Force Cyber Command goes online Tuesday. System expected to learn at a geomeric rate, become self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th	(34)
		One language disappears every two weeks. French surrenders	(54)
(Daily Yomiuri)		Japanese high-school students chart prevalence of different earwax types in order to trace migration of ancient peoples into Japan	(19)

		Grandmothers "may be responsible for evolution of menopause." That's hot	(14)
		If you like to drink, get jealous and chase across the country after people, you too can become a candidate for NASA's 2009 astronaut class	(4)
		Nine-day aquanaut mission has them living 60 feet below the surface (with link to active webcams)	(34)
		National Weather Service changes its decades-old severe weather warnings to make them more specifically wrong	(17)
(Some Lvl 12 Warlock)		Not news: "World of Warcraft" player sells his account. News: Player sells his account for the largest amount ever. Fark: Buyer paid nearly $10,000	(82)
		Intel unveils eight-core processor along with a 12-core graphics chip. No word on the six-assed monkey though	(31)
(Thoof)		Windows users 20 percent more interested in religion stories than Mac users. Well, duh, because Mac users have always ranted about th -- wait, huh?	(62)
		Microsoft representative argues open-source software can't sustain innovation - Ironic tag is trying to explode: Allow or Deny	(70)
		Time names the "50 best websites of 2007." Starwars.com? INGDirect.com? WTF?	(65)
		Nintendo confirms online play for Super Smash Bros Brawl. NOW I FINALLY WANT	(113)
		IBM to re-release Lotus Office to compete against Micro$oft Office. The catch? It's free	(50)
(New World Notes)		News: Labor unions protest IBM paycut. Fark: Protest to happen on IBM's virtual world campus with pro-union avatars waving signs	(17)
		Scientist come up with real "Spider-Man" suit that uses self-cleaning, adhesive power of engineered molecules known as carbon nanotubes. Here comes the science	(22)
(Popular Mechanics)		"Scientific" magazine Popular Mechanics debunks "It doesn't matter where you sit on an fail-iner" myth	(56)
(Some Guy)		Defective quad core? No sir. That there's an opitmized AMD three-core Phenom	(54)
		School should be about the four "R's" -- Readin', Ritin', 'Rithmetic, and Respiration	(15)
		Goodbye, pricks	(23)
		Smoking causes acne, still makes you look cool	(28)
		Remember that hole in the ozone layer? Yup, still there	(42)
		Researchers at Duke University suggest body odor does not come from someone else's body, it comes from your nose. Duke stinks	(19)

		Old and busted: stethoscope. New hotness: download patient's heartbeat on your MP3 player. Suck it, MPAA	(13)
		Behold – The $100 lap...no wait, the $176 lapto...ummm no it's the $188 laptop	(28)
(Centre Daily Times)		Now you know where that stupid 'smiley face' came from -- blame a Pennsyvlania prof who had a bad computer moment	(198)
		Been to the Gateway of Hell: One tech editor's torture at the hands of Gateway Computers tech support	(65)
		New Fury PVP MMORPG giving away $2,000,000 in prizes during public beta. Sadly, everyone who knows what PVP MMORPG means will never spend any of it on a real girl	(37)
(Some Guy)		Blizzard disbands pedosexual guild	(80)
		A $20,000 camera coupled with a sixty-year-old telescope found to shoot sharper images than the $1.5 billion Hubble telescope (pics)	(123)
		Learn how the sixth season of "Angel" begins. With dragony goodness	(24)
		*SPOILER* The ending to Halo 3. *SPOILER* In case you haven't guessed, this is a SPOILER	(101)
		AOL bids goodbye to Virginia, heads to New York to seek its fortune. Expected to return flat broke in a couple of years asking to sleep in the spare bedroom	(13)
		Digital protesting is more effective and fun because no one gets tear-gassed. With "Look at me, I was really a cool hippie protester back in the '60s and please God let me relive my glory days" photo goodness	(40)
		New findings suggest that ancient Scots mummified their dead -- either that, or they were making haggis a lot earlier than anyone suspects	(15)
(Tech Digest)		Celebrate next week's "Halo 3" launch with some Master Chief-branded M&Ms party favors. Perfect for the Martha Stewart/Xbox 360 fanboy hybrid	(38)
		Another sign of the coming apocalypse: The left-handed army is on the rise	(248)
		Snuffleupagus actually to blame for global warming. Suck it, Jane Fonda	(45)
		Blessed are the cheesemakers: It's a big day for Wedginald	(12)
		Micro$oft £oses appeal of its €U anti-trust ¢ase	(52)
		Get ready for ads on your cell phone	(35)
		Cassini probe flys within 1000 miles of geodesic shaped moon Iapetus, conveniently goes into safe mode while transmitting pics	(32)
		Chinese game companies trying to stop piracy	(12)
(Some Guy)		Study: Some thought testosterone smelled like old cat pee, others thought it smelled like sweet vanilla. Bonus study: Why dirt smells like dirt	(4)
(the London Free Press)		"We might choose to broadcast every single minute of our lives to an unseen online audience. That, or we'll just be having sex with unicorns"	(12)
(Best Buy)		Ping-pong game: Sucky. Ping-pong game on Wii: Slightly less sucky. Ping-pong game on Wii with Christopher Walken: Super awesome	(21)
		Woman signs up for experimental gene therapy to relieve arthritis pain. Technically, the treatment as a success	(40)