(US Patent Office)		You know those talking heads in jars on Futurama?? Well, somebody holds a patent on that	(1)
(your first name)		10 most common passwords, is yours one of them?	(33)
		Google.com not optimized for Google	(9)
		A rare find theses days; a well written article. Boston not panicking over blue lighted mennonites	(11)
		Employers sending fake phishing emails to see how dumb their employees are. Number one clicked phishing email? Oh yeah, cat pictures	(70)
(Poe)		"Villains" I shrieked, "dissemble no more I admit the deed - tear up the planks here, here - It is the beating of his hideous heart"	(16)
(Some Guy)		Some of the geekiest guitars ever	(20)
(ScienceDaily)		Jet lag explained: it's caused by high ping times in your circadian thingy	(15)
(Business Week)		Company readies first commercially available zero emission car to run on compressed air. Thanks to congress, this is one resource America truly has an inexhaustible supply of	(32)
(Some Guy)		Oxford geneticist predicts the extinction of human males	(45)

(Terra Daily)		Scientists reveal that molten lava is soon to blanket the earth and bring us to our fiery demise	(29)
(Some Guy)		Russian and NATO forces are waging virtual warfare on Estonia's cyber territory	(90)
(Some Guy.)		No-period pill poised for FDA approval, end of Fark headlines	(32)
		Female fiddler crabs prefer to get it on with he-crabs who live in less flashy abodes	(10)
(Popular Mechanics)		Anatomy of a home run: the science of baseball	(15)
		How Tyrannosaurus overcame his wussy little forearms to become the world's ultimate paleo-bully	(28)
		Uruguayan children enjoy low-cost laptops and email advertisements for penis enlargement	(8)
(Some Guy)		What happens when you mix beer and technology? These robots	(8)
(koco)		Here is how to properly remove a tick. Surprisingly pouring gasoline on your leg and dropping a match is not suggested	(69)
		Starcraft 2 Official. Let the nerdgasm commence	(261)
		How to build a 2/5th scale Sherman Tank	(10)
		Astronomers have detected a planet, that is just 20 light years away, with possible oceans and earth like temperatures. I for one welcome our Glieseian red dwarf overlords	(14)
(DailyTech)		Microsoft now banning modded Xbox 360s from Xbox Live. Where is your mod now?	(46)
		According to the WSJ, having lots of gadgets in your car could cause battery drain. Ric Romero wants to borrow your jumper cables	(3)

(Some NASA Guy)		As it turns out, Galileo may have been wrong	(51)
		How to spot Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter this week	(25)
(Some Shepherd)		"Nearly every suit sold today - certainly those at the middle through the top of the market - is made from wool shorn from sheep descended from just two rams and four ewes."	(17)
		Conference ponders whether modern medicine could have saved Abraham Lincoln's life after he was shot. Next year's topic: Could high-top sneakers have saved Achilles?	(49)
		The FCC has officially approved the iPhone, probably because they knew that angry mobs would burn them at the stake if they didn't	(230)
		Do grizzlies and wolves need a trust fund? Are they really that bad with money?	(8)
		Is that the grandfather of your Xbox?	(33)
		Dolphins off coast of Britain found to be speaking Welsh. On the positive side, fish are more understandable than when humans speak it	(51)
(Bonus Delorean!)		Geek-gasm alert. Free printable paper models of your favorite "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" spacecraft. Bonus: English translation a bit wonky	(52)

		Bright idea: New LEDs will dazzle handhelds, PC screens, TVs and more	(11)
		Sony buys Sigil (makers of the very crappy Vanguard) and fires every employee	(39)
(The Age)		Website of "Virginia Tech Massacre" game author taken offline. www.worldsbiggestdouche.com.au now available for purchase	(186)
		Man U has the world's most popular soccer website -- more than two million people a month log in to check who they played a scoreless tie with lately and how many players suffered devastating knee injuries from capricious gusts of wind	(41)
		Google redesigns their main website. You'll get over it	(105)
(Megagames)		Sony executives refuse to lay down the meth. Predict 10 year lifespan for PS3	(89)
(The News Tribune)		"Everybody steal my stuff" Craigslist ad was brought to you by victim's niece	(83)
(Macworld UK)		Apple is the most trusted brand in the country. Meanwhile, Microsoft moves up one place to 5,738,427th most trusted company, finally edging out Krooked Kurt's Kavalvade of Krappy Katrina Kars	(66)
		Britain to allow animal-human hybrid embryos, paving the way for a Red Bull product that actually gives you wings	(100)
		Those studies that implied oral sex could lead to cancer? Yeah, not so much. Now to disprove the "steaks are bad for you" bit and we'll be all set	(78)
		Patent reform being considered at Capitol Hill. Microsoft claims reform violates 462 of their patents	(19)
		New Firefox extension that blocks time wasting-websites like Fa --	(13)
		A Day in the Life of the Verizon Wireless "Can You Hear Me Now?" guy	(8)
		New "Transformers" trailer coming this afternoon; here's a peek. With Bumblebee and Starscream goodness	(69)
		Cisco routers take blame for massive Japanese network outtage	(22)
		Top 10: Tech jargon you love to hate	(54)
		Hundreds of new marine species found in Antarctic waters	(29)
		In the UK, Internet is dominated by 18-34 year old females. You submitted this with a snarkier headline while I was packing my bags	(21)
(Some Guy)		Engadget knocks $4 billion off Apple market cap by blogging a bogus iPhone email as news	(153)
(Some Guy)		Thirty-four upcoming PS3 games. Sony strikes back?	(76)
(Some Guy)		Modder turns Atari 2600 controller into TV remote	(7)
		County hasn't patched its server in five years, and it's connected to a bunch of electronic-voting machines. What could possibly go wrong?	(74)
		The bad news: You've got herpes. The good news: You're now immune to many kinds of food poisoning, the plague and Lindsay Lohan	(12)
		Prozac celebrates its 20th birthday. Yay, I guess. I dunno. Whatever	(126)
		It sounds like a great idea: A stove, fridge and electrical source all rolled into one appliance and running on biomass fuel like wood	(9)
		"Cure" found for baldness -- doesn't involve rubbing anything weird into your scalp, but removing your scalp	(22)
		Sergey Brin has gotten married. I know, you figured some geeky social outcast with a net worth of merely $14 billion would probably remain dateless forever	(8)

		Court tells Google that a little sex is okay	(51)
		IBM opens sales center in "Second Life"	(13)
		Porn.com address, which sold for $47,000 ten years ago, resold for $9.5 million at auction. Now that's a happy ending	(6)
		Latest Windows malware attacks Windows Update itself, bypassing the very mechanism that's supposed to help keep your computer from being infected with malware	(32)
		New and busted: iPods. Old hotness: Real live jukeboxes with 45 RPM records. An 80-gig hard drive just can't beat a half ton of chrome and bubbles, baby	(21)
		The upside of having slept with Paris Hilton is finally revealed	(32)
		What's more pathetic looking than a turtle without a shell? Not much. With pics	(130)
		AOL to launch new e-mail portals, to the delight of elderly aunts everywhere	(7)
(E-Dog in the Bunny Hutch)		Thanks to Microsoft Vista, voice recognition is finally here (some site ads are NSFW)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Hi, I'm Andromeda and I'm here to steal your sun	(45)
		Today's "It used to be good for you, now it'll kill you" health warning: Multivitamins may increase prostate cancer risk	(28)
		Vitamins are linked to prostate cancer. In related news, thousands of Farkers check ingredient listing of beer	(16)
		Watcha gonna do with all them mumps, all them mumps and you throat bumps. "My mumps" out break for my Canucks?	(54)
		Italians save Renaissance-era art by pouring newfangled salad dressing on it	(19)
(Some Guy)		Five Firefox tricks you probably didn't know about	(52)
(NewLaunches.com)		What happens when an idiot packs a plasma television	(33)
		Scientists discover fruit flies have free will by gluing hooks to their heads	(22)
(Planetary Society)		Space probe en route to Pluto takes the most amazing movie of a volcano erupting you will see all day	(28)
(Some Blog)		409 people clicked a Google ad that said "Is your PC virus-free? Get it infected here"	(45)
		Top Gear tests $1.3 million supercar. Because this is Fark, you know what happened next	(31)
		Pesticides to join the list of things that screw up kids. List already includes: Wi-fi, diet soda, dirt, peanuts, boobs, evolution, Jews, mold, GTA, The Bee Gees, The Bible, Fark redesign, alcohol, marijuana, sex, drugs and rock & roll	(16)

(NYT)		Your dog wants steak. Here comes the science. Still no cure for cancer	(20)
		F-35 helmet display system to scare the bejeezus out of enemies	(35)
		Hubble spots rings of enigmatic substance known as dark matter. Enigma, please	(11)
		New species of hummingbird discovered in Colombia. Apparently it's very jittery and paranoid, but biologists can't figure out why	(4)
		30% of Canadians claim to be workaholics. The other 70% say they have something like workaholism, but for alcohol	(9)
(PNAS)		Enzymatic analysis of a rhomboid intramembrane protease implicates transmembrane helix 5 as the lateral substrate gate	(259)
(Some Guy)		The coolest concept cars you'll see today	(16)
		Physicist uses science to prove the existence of God. Here comes the scien-- er.... wait a second	(67)
(Indestructibles)		Cool bike spoke mod. They see me rollin', they be hatin'	(11)
(Some Guy)		How to make your own "Han Solo in Carbonite" chocolate bar	(7)
(Some Guy)		Why owner ratings might not be dependable: Two domestics rated much lower than a foreign, except for one small fact: "All were built at the same plant, only varying in hood ornaments"	(48)
		Nintendo announces Lara Croft is coming to the Wii, says the Wiimote will "allow Wii gamers to control Lara in brand new, unique ways"	(29)
(Some Guy)		A review of a soon-to-be U.S. production car that's shorter than a golf cart, gets 40 miles to the gallon and is French. Gets rave reviews with the exception it breaks down everytime a VW crosses its path	(53)
(Some Guy)		Every car in Bermuda must be fitted with an RFID tag so authorities can track its movements and issue tickets for any violations detected by the master control program	(20)
		Improving on the whole cubicle experience, scientists have found a way to harness workstations to treadmills. Next up, giant human-sized hamster wheels	(9)
		How does Google translate languages that its engineers neither speak nor understand?	(12)
(Spiegel International)		German study proves no sex leads to less sex. Obvious tag claims it has a headache, goes to bed early	(73)
(Some Guy)		Scientist creates "micro-tornadoes." Miniature trailer parks on high alert	(3)
(Alaska Report)		Humpback photographed off Alaska in 1972 returns 35 years later with message to mankind: Get off my lawn	(13)
(Medpage Today)		Actual headline: "Children with 'lazy eye' view themselves poorly"	(24)
		The best Steve Balmer remix you'll see today	(34)
		Institute for the Blindingly Obvious plans to study how crystal meth affects the people who use it. "It really affects their ability to function," explains lead researcher Dr. N.F. Kidding	(9)
(Seed)		Hubble telescope's successor to peer at universe's birth. Mother Nature demands a curtain	(11)
		Tokyo's University of Science invents the Muscle Suit; which adds +4 to strength, dork factor	(25)

(Business Week)		Meet the "YouTube Police," a group of 20-somethings that sit around all day and surf for copyrighted material on YouTube	(23)
		What an asshat	(20)
(WSB Radio)		Over one billion people around the world have high blood pressure. EVERYBODY STAY VERY CALM	(48)
(APOD)		Coolest Quicktime movie of the rotating earth you will see all day. Sit on it and spin	(14)
		"NASA study: Eastern U.S. to get hotter." In related news, the first day of summer is next month	(9)
		Masi Oka talks about "Heroes." {{{(>.<)}}} (o.o)	(74)
(Some Mac)		Apple's video download business on iTunes and its Apple TV set-top box are already obsolete because television and cable networks will quickly shift their creative product to free ad-supported streaming	(28)
(Boing Boing)		Microsoft to GNU/Linux users: "Nice operating system you got there...it'd be a shame if something were to happen to it."	(31)
		Want to cut down on air pollution? Clean your windows, you dirty smelly hippie	(12)
		You know, the humpback, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can serve a purpose -- like donating flippers to serve as wind turbine blades. Don't you go dying on me now	(13)
		AMD to launch chips with quad-cores and a crispy, yet hearty crunch	(21)
		Google: There's a butt load of malware on the Web	(56)
		"Heroes" was sooo good that it will produce a bad spin-off about Hiro and a sushi restaurant. And... nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh the "Bionic Woman" will be back, among other bad shows	(73)
(Some Guy)		The hardest part of being a naked news anchor? Covering natural disasters or atrocities such as 9/11: "We stayed fully dressed, all of us, for the entire week"	(11)
(Some Guy)		"Virus Sponge" could improve flu treatments, diabetes care, vaccine development, but only if you're spongeworthy	(18)
		Top 10 things Microsoft loves and hates about open source	(42)
		Latest "dumbass achieves fame as Internet laughingstock" comes to you by way of Britain, and this idiot who emailed pics of himself dressed as a bare-chested cowboy to an incredibly unimpressed woman (pics)	(290)
		"Spider-Man 3" drops 60 percent in second week, only takes in $60 million at box office. If next week drops further, Tobey McGuire might only be able to afford medium-sized jacuzzi in Hummer	(35)
		Turning every tree and crop on the planet into biofuel might not be such a good idea	(22)
		New trend of "Hypermilers" feature drivers committed to squeezing every last drop of fuel out of car's engine using unorthodox techniques	(30)
		The real main cause of global warming: Brazil's deforestation, not Al Gore's planes or the Brady Bunch's SUV. Suck it, non-Amazon countries	(19)
		China launches a satellite for Nigeria. Will be paid the $311 million fee just as soon as they hand over their bank details and pay some unforeseen processing fees	(10)
(Some Guy)		AMD/ATI finally gets around to releasing a DX10 video card	(27)
(Computerworld)		Memo to Dell, Apple, Palm, et al: Please stop designing gadgets and laptops with unnecessary lights	(49)
(Physorg.com)		The goggles, they do something	(9)
		NASA competition for robots that could potentially excavate on other worlds has no winner. NASA to fall back on in-house expertise at using spacecraft to dig holes	(16)
(Some Guy)		Acclaimed urologist John K. Lattimer pisses away. PASSES away. Passes	(44)