Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Tech Archives for '2007-02-18 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Scientists predict robot-driven cars to hit the roads by 2030, find Sarah Connor

(msn.com)

Old and busted: Trans-fats. New hotness: Sodium

(103)

(theage.com.au)

Study finds using marijuana is no longer cool (with cartoon for validation)

(140)

Robotic cameras deployed in search for elusive ivory-billed woodpecker, Sarah Connor

(3)

Australia's largest wireless carrier tells Apple to "stick to your knitting" . And by "knitting" they mean "printing money on the back of unconditional iFanboiz©®™ love"

(80)

(Jacksonville Daily News)

Microsoft builds "digital house" made completely of ice to promote Vista

(35)

(Technology Review)

Interesting proposed solution to global warming

(43)

In the realm of unnecessary medical procedures, removing fat from your ass and injecting it into your feet reigns supreme

(37)

New home impotency test kit is available for men who can't get it up. Why is this here? Because shut up, that's why

(24)

Scientist who discovered melatonin now permanently asleep at age 86

(6)

Sat February 17, 2007:

# of Comments

What dead historical figure would you like to tell about our incredible state of technology and this wondrous internets? VE

(138)

Survey of American public's scientific knowledge reveals improved familiarity with basic science, and declining belief in alien abduction, astrology, Bigfoot, and evolution

(529)

When to replace common household items

(119)

(sky sports)

Terrifying sentence : "When the doctor took a look at me and discovered I'd split a testicle - I was in surgery within 90 minutes"

(104)

Duck born with 4 legs. Colonel Sanders buys duck for KFC breeding experiment

(73)

Quantum mechanics gets even weirder. You suspected it would

(38)

(My favorite site)

Easy hack to save $200 and have "the world's best writing instrument."

(46)

Planned: start beautiful reefs for marine life up and down the coast. Outcome: millions of loose tires scrubbing the ocean floor to smithereens

Damaged hearts may be capable of healing themselves, despite what every single emo song in the world would have you believe

(Korea Times)

Korean scientists announce magical anti-aging pigment derived from ordinary carbon dioxide

High resolution pics of the Dodge Demon concept car

(51)

The WISDOM project put 5,000 computers together analyzing 80,000 drug compounds every hour. The result was 420 years of computation in just 16 weeks

(27)

Greenhouse gases reach record levels helped by Asian industry. Asia says it was the dog

(57)

Plasma converter creates energy from garbage: Shirley Manson reportedly impressed

(32)

Fri February 16, 2007:

# of Comments

29 years ago today, the first BBS message board went live. And this is why you now have no life, loser

(62)

DRM explanation for dummies

(19)

Scientists studying ear hair to generate power. Old men seen as the batteries of the future

(8)

Manufacturers seeking permission to mass produce vaccine against bird flu. EVERYBODY PANIC... just a little less

(9)

(boing boing)

In a move certain not to help the state’s incestuous stereotype, Alabama court states it is “unlawful for any person to knowingly distribute any device useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”

(205)

Congress proposing a bill to block Wikipedia from schools. Because everyone knows we have to protect our children from the dangers of encyclopedias and stuff

(78)

Study shows that women who ate fish during pregnancy had smarter kids. Dick Cheney's grandkid is gonna be brilliant

(53)

(Albuquerque Trib)

January 2007 the warmest January on record. Suck it, humans

(89)

Earth's mysterious hum explained. Still no explanation for the Crash Test Dummies

(The Spam Diaries)

Spammer says you can't sue him unless you click on the links in the spam

(6)

Soldiers getting the finger from science. Regrowing body parts now a reality. True story. Warning: Photo of growing finger a bit gory

(36)

The beginning of the end for Youtube - Google turns UserIDs over to Newscorp

(46)

Archeologists discover that Red Hot Chili Peppers have been around since Queens of the Stone Age

(13)

More evidence found for water on Mars. Scientists soon to discover that it's just Phobos and Deimos marking their territory

The new A380 super jumbo jet has set a new speed record: toilets flush at 60 mph

(14)

Yahoo, music pirates endorse end to copy protection

(10)

Artificial retina implant holds promise to restore sight to blind. The Pinball Wizard predicted this

(Gizmodo)

Gizmodo editor Joel Johnson spanks the gadget industry. You submitted this using your "new chromed robot turd"

(29)

Travel sites' customer hotel reviews may be exactly as reliable as Amazon's "Family Circus" customer book reviews

(9)

Laser comb to cure baldness approved by the FDA. Still no cure for telling people you use a laser comb

(16)

The coolest pic you'll see today: Sauron is alive and living in the Helix Nebula

Chimpanzees have been bashing their nuts for thousands of years

(6)

Thu February 15, 2007:

# of Comments

(Ars Technica)

Blackberry owners chained to work. In other news, water is wet

Frikkin' space lasers discover giant lakes, ancient alien temples under Antarctic ice

(131)

Radiation warnings for Dummies. Your tax dollars at work

(93)

(Some YubaNet)

LSU professor resolves Einstein's twin paradox. Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger relatively unimpressed

(45)

(Nasablog)

Take a virtual tour of the Mars Mariner valley

(9)

(Inquirer)

Judge rules it wasn't Myspace's responsibility to keep a 13-year-old sexual assault victim from lying about her age. Hero tag for personal responsibility

(46)

Doctors use Viagra to save life of premature baby, presumably by making it impossible for him to roll out of bed

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal"

(41)

The smell of coins isn't metal, it's actually the smell of people's hands. Unless they've been up someone's ass, then that's just the smell of their ass

(97)

(LLN/Freep)

Leaked internal report from Toyota: "Our competitors are jealous of our success," plans to "replace" U.S. automakers

(130)

(Consumerist)

Former HP employee reveals list of company secrets. Because nobody knew that ink is a ripoff and HP's customer service sucks

(37)

(Tech Digest)

Cboss is a Russian telecoms firm showing off its convergent billing technology at the 3GSM conference. It also has a troupe of teenage dancing girls. Guess which one makes its stand popular. This video will help

(20)

Microsoft, IBM in slap-fight over open document formats

(19)

No cure for cancer but scientists discover link between being physically fit and an improved sex drive

(22)

(FT)

If you're considering buying a Chrysler 300 because it's built on a Mercedes chassis, you'd better hurry

(18)

Im in ur internetz,. stealin ur Digg11

(39)

Apple might be about to catch up with Compaq circa 1999 in terms of laptop specs

(44)

Weird MP3 players you never knew existed

(19)

Valentine's worm out and about, will turn your computer into a zombie. Spammers... neeeeeeeeeeeeed... brainz...

(13)

(itwire dot com)

The main reason record labels fear Apple

(33)

Scientists find Mexican tree frog preserved for over 25 million years. In other news, Joan Rivers reportedly books flight to Mexico

(eCanadaNow)

New robot suit designed to help seniors lift things and move around could be available by next year

(108)

Scientist angered when nearby compound attacks and destroys the cancerous cells she was studying. Apparently she was... oh hey, wait a minute -- it did what?

(89)

Tech guru John Dvorak explains how the American juggernaut Google is being oppressed by EU shenanigans

Wed February 14, 2007:

# of Comments

Scientists think they've finally figured out dark matter. As with all breakthroughs, study of dwarves was key

(15)

Humans have a built-in "kinship" detector that prevents incest. Razorback fans seen shaking their heads furiously in disagreement

(38)

Unlock your car using your cell phone

(39)

(google)

People confused by Google's Valentine's Day logo design, forces Google to issue an explanation

(153)

Latest research funded by the tea council: Tea found to be healthier than water

(23)

(ExtremeTech)

First commercially viable quantum computer demonstrated. With confusing explanation that references baseballs and unreadable alphabets

(94)

Microsoft issues critical security warning to its unpaid beta tes-, er, users

(39)

(Techdirt)

The RIAA is having a hissy fit about Google selling ads to P2P programs. Oddly enough, the domain name that the RIAA registered for their new pre-lawsuit settlement packages is full of ads for P2P programs

(Some Phone)

New phone by Vonage comes on a keychain. So you can lose it every morning between the damn sofa cushions. Whoo hoo, woo, hoo hooo

(8)

Scientists discover size matters

(26)

The NSA is in ur blog, classifying ur dataz

(44)

This just in for Valentine's day: Women are dirtier than men. Giggity giggity

Kansas Board of Education says they actually voted for the FSM theory of biology before they voted against it

(137)

Guy beats Mario Bros. in nine minutes... with his feet (video)

(28)

Man to donate eye while still alive, wants to see it help others

(47)

Hearing on global warming cancelled due to ice storm

(807)

(National Geographic)

Human "Flying squirrel suit" may allow skydivers to land without the aid of a parachute. If only the suit came with the extra testicles needed to do something this crazy

(43)

Simply believing that your daily activities will keep you physically fit is enough to provide measurable health benefits. Yeah, pound those keys, feel the burn, work it

Tue February 13, 2007:

# of Comments

Biggest wet hole you'll see all day... or night

(34)

Scientists are researching possible ways to deflect 'Doomsday' asteriods, so EVERYBODY wont PANIC

(Engadget)

Hear about the new laws banning “iPod oblivion”? Remember those obnoxious boom boxes people used to carry? Scary tag puts 2+2 together and comes up with this

Iridium flares. Never seen one? This website will show you when and where to look. Those satellites are good for something after all

Purple potatos grown from seeds mutated on Chinese space flight are the hot new item in China. Finally, we know how 'World War Z' actually started

(96)

(Some Dude)

Windows Vista should have been called Windows ME 2.0

(79)

(Some Geek)

Ever wonder what's taking up all the space on your computer? Find out here

(52)

A new car horn allows you to play any audio file loudly at nearby drivers and pedestrians. Hilarity sure to ensue

(233)

Mobile TV not all it's cracked up to be

(7)

(Some egghead)

Nagging spouse study finds people do the opposite of what's being nagged about. Ric Romero would be on the story but he's being told to take the trash out for the 18th time

(151)

New Matrix due in Spring 2008, no Keanu or Fishburne

(52)

(SomeLaptop)

Laptop takes a bullet, saves soldier. Reboots, keeps looking for Sarah Connor

Behold the power of Fark: "mystery weapon" found in Iraq, let's identify what it is (with pic)

(787)

(wjz-tv)

National Federation of the Blind says that say hybrid cars could endanger blind people's lives because they are too quiet

(187)

College won't let students use Wikipedia for papers anymore. Desperate for a "D," students flock to Fark

Finally, what we've been waiting for: U.S. Navy to use dolphins with freaking lasers on their freaking heads. (Pic of laser strapped to dolphin included)

(124)

Over 120 high school girls being exposed on MySpace brought to you by Liverpool HS. Submitter wishes he would have flunked a few years to get in on this action

(191)

C-sections soar despite risks as women try to save their hoohahs

(267)

(ABC 7)

Ric Romero discovers that downloading files from untrustworthy sites can cause your computer to get a virus

(37)

(AutoBlog)

Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top has a ball with a VW bus

(15)

Super geeks come together to talk about the space travel featured in movies

(10)

New research has revealed that models feel lonely and unhappy with their perfect bodies and huge piles of money. Hear that? It's the world's skinniest violin

Ugly-ass blind snake rediscovered after being thought extinct for 100 years

Following Vista's resounding success at bending consumers over their desks, Microsoft plans to release "Vienna" in 2009

Chinese entrepreneurs touting potatoes grown from seeds that flew in space

(10)

Massachusetts professor high on U.S. DEA list to grow marijuana crop

(5)

Mon February 12, 2007:

# of Comments

Budding Romero sleuth poses the following conundrum: High-tech jobs abound in Iowa. Why aren't workers filling them?

Ever want the touch screen in "Minority Report"? Here ya go

(Wash Post)

Old lady learns the hard way what "open wifi" means

(49)

Hungarian scientists study how turtles right themselves - still no cure for cancer

(40)

(ElectricNews.net)

Are women the new nerds?

(44)

Windows Vista gets high praise from Forbes Magazine. Just kidding, this guy rips Vista to shreds

(87)

Report: On-the-job naps help lower heart attack risks, but dramatically raise chances of getting your ass fired

(89)

(Telegraph)

Looks like it's time to add Valentine's Day bouquets to the list of things you are personally doing to destroy the planet

(77)

(Some tired Guy)

Scientists invent tires that smell like lavender. Still no cure for tread-pattern baldness

Gene may protect some women against breast cancer, host Match Game

(16)

Japan launches new satellite-based alert system that will warn residents of tsunamis, volcanic activity, monsters

(7)

"PeaceMaker" video game lets you assume the role of Palestinian president. Gamers have yet to find "divert millions of aid dollars to your family's Swiss bank account" easter egg

(27)

Trailer homes are the latest trend in upscale living

(75)

Child-tracking gadgets on the rise. Step 1: Hack into the database. Step 2: Sell info to child molesters. Step 3: Profit

You know that "global warming" thing we've all been talking about? Turns out it's just a 20-year-old ploy to raise taxes. But, boy, has it worked

(127)

Survey finds that 33 percent of Britons think that a woman can prevent pregnancy by jumping up and down, washing or urinating immediately after sex. The other 66 percent simply said, "No sex please, we're British"

(27)

Scientists figure out how to take the headache out of wine. Still no cure for cancer but they can enjoy a nice glass of red while they ponder that poser