Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Tech Archives for '2007-02-04 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(NewVoyageNews)

Do you want to join the 62-mile-high club?

(18)

How to make a nitrogen laser at home. All you need now is a massive Jiffy Pop and you're good to go

(15)

Kids as young as 13 having gastric bypass surgery, even though little is known of its long-term effects on children. Because, obviously, you can't just tell your kid to put down that sammich and exercise

(115)

Today's strangest weather phenomenom is brought to you by the icy shores of Newfoundland

(55)

Scientists develop motor mechanism that could be used in nanomachines first imagined 140 years ago. Must be true; I saw a reprint from an 1867 issue of Popular Mechanics

18 years later, and the Exxon Valdez is still leaking oil into Alaskan waters

(124)

Forty-five nations form a new environmental body to slow inevitable global warming and protect the planet. If you guessed the US was not one of the nations, you get a shiny new dime

(569)

(iTWire)

Vista can be hacked by talking to it

(23)

Zoo improvements mean they have a whole new problem to deal with -- geriatric animals. Dinah the arthritic rhino wants you off her lawn

The most amazing footage from Space Shuttle Discovery's rocket booster you will see today

(33)

Cool things you can make with a computer case, includes Espresso machine

(11)

How to tell if a girl likes you, as written by a man who has never touched a girl in his life

(250)

Nanotechnology food???

(77)

Sat February 03, 2007:

# of Comments

(ITtoolbox.com)

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true

(40)

All 18 endangered young whooping cranes that were led south from Wisconsin last fall were killed in Florida storms. Darwinism applies not just to humans in Florida

(61)

Study looks at predicted climate changes in 22nd century Texas -- concludes it will get messed with

(57)

Bill Gates claims that Macs are easy to hack and Windows is impenetrable

(318)

How to unlock a car door with a tennis ball

(188)

A material stiffer than diamond has been created; quickly steals title of "girl's best friend"

Physicists figure out way to see extra dimensions (with coolest model of six-dimensional space you'll see today)

(47)

(Engadget)

Don't like to swallow pills? Or smoke them? ...Now you can get a tooth implant that dispenses drugs automatically

(41)

(Comos Magazine)

Jackson Pollock paintings deemed fakes by experts, though nobody's sure how they can tell

(268)

(pocket-lint.co.uk)

Apple's iPod, Microsoft's Xbox, Sony's PS3, Cisco's iPhone and now... Seagate's Dave

(26)

Computer warehouse pays the price for not having a firewall

It's cold outside, so global warming can't be true. Now give me $10,000

(34)

Study: cute endangered species get more attention than ugly ones

Fri February 02, 2007:

# of Comments

(Physorg.com)

Wind resource off Mid-Atlantic coast could supply energy needs of nine states, provide pre-sliced sea bird buffet to sharks below

(39)

(Some NASA Guy)

If you happen to find yourself on the Moon, here are 181 things you might want to do

(28)

London Times review of Microsoft Vista. Surprisingly, it takes a whole two paragraphs before Bush and the Iraq war are mentioned

(46)

(Science Daily)

In today's scientific breakthough that will change the world and better your life, it was found that leeches ferry infections among newts

(9)

Machine developed that can convert trash into energy. You're not gonna believe this: We've got to go back to 1955

The confusion over Intel-branded bluejeans is finally over. The civilized world can once again return to normal, except for maybe Boston

(17)

(WGAL)

Study shows more than 18 million men suffer from erectile dysfunction, which begs the question -- can they really even be considered men?

(215)

Scientists plan to drop concrete balls into mouth of active volcano to stem mud flow. What could possibly go wrong? Concrete ball rain, that's what

(119)

Even Ethernet is going green: Researchers say companies could save millions on energy by using new Ethernet

Strong antioxidants in onions and garlic may offer protection from cancer, still no cure for an aroma than could level Tacoma

Windows Vista is "an embarrassment to the good name of American innovation"

(121)

Did troubled computer maker Dell accept then hide kickbacks from Intel designed to buy loyalty to the giant chipmaker? Those are the claims in an investor lawsuit naming founder Michael Dell and former CEO Kevin Rollins

Apple releases white magic iPony: "His name is Starshine and he sings and dances." 6 months later, Microsoft releases brown zombie ZunePony: "He's made of corpses and eats the flesh of the living"

(34)

(Spiegle Online)

New exhibition pays tribute to 100,000 years of sex. Answers the question "Is 'hung like a Neanderthal' a compliment or an insult?" since Joan Rivers isn't telling. Not safe for work pics in a stone phallus sort of way

Scientists say that Florida could be under water in 50 years; good thing so many of its occupants are skilled in building rafts

Man converts Jaguar to run on methane, then makes his own fuel out of rotting apples. Suck it, Exxon

(Sci Blog)

Scientists clone the smell of the seaside. Kramer threatens lawsuit

(2)

In the future, supertankers will ship water to parched areas, but are likely to be targeted by Ice Pirates

(168)

'Headcam'-wearing police see 85% rise in arrests for violence, 100% rise in mockery

(107)

(Telegraph UK)

Residents of a remote Chinese village are hoping that DNA tests will prove one of history's most unlikely legends — that they are descended from Roman legionaries lost in antiquity

String theory hanging on by a thread

(80)

Why porn movies WON'T decide the next DVD standard

(41)

New study finds that one in five are addicted to their mobile phones, causing such behaviors as -- hold on, I need to take this call

Yahoo directly links to all photos on Flickr tagged as "wii." There's no way this could possibly go wrong

(11)

West Virginia to put "Dance Dance Revolution" in all its schools to combat weight problem. ↑ ↑ → ↔ ↕ ↕

(138)

(Some Microcosmic God)

Scientists create nano-ecosystem in hopes of developing super-minicreatures, having utterly failed to read any Theodore R. Sturgeon

Ever had that sudden urge to have your tooth brush vibrate black eyed peas into your brain...well now you can

Thu February 01, 2007:

# of Comments

Online dating: The size of the lie in the profile is proportional to the shortness and fatness of the profile poster

Univ of Iowa students to receive email reminding then of laundry tasks . Is this service available for condom use?

(The Scientist)

Science finds that smelling food reduces fly lifespan. Now, that's something really useful

(WGAL)

New flu-warning system modeled after hurricane scale, meaning if there is a Category 5 outbreak, the flu would be more than 145 mph

(64)

"113 nations blame man for climate change." I say we find this man and try to talk some sense into him

(757)

By decoding germ language, scientists may be able to fight disease, Paris Hilton's cooter

Video of what happens to an IE user when he misspells "google"

(69)

Scottish scientists develop tiny molecular engines, which suburban kids will somehow make sound really loud and vaguely like a lawnmower

(2)

Parents are shocked -- shocked -- to find wallpaper of scanitly-clad women on prepaid cell phones favored by teens

(16)

Microsoft confirms VIsta can be pwn3d just by talking to it. Repeat after me: "Delete Star Dot Star"

(221)

This week's installment of "Things You Can Do in Zero Gravity": Eating tea with chopsticks

(16)

Microsoft executive most directly in charge of development of Zune player leaves post to "pursue other interests" -- which is corporate speak for, "You gave us a hunk of schiat to sell, so you're fired"

(30)

17th-century lead luggage tag, stamped "'Yames Towne' ", to travel onboard the Space Shuttle. But experts are unsure if being 400 years late and thousands of miles off course will be enough to set a new record for lost luggage

(37)

Q: Why do we sleep? A: There's simply nothing else to do during Kevin Costner movies

(17)

A team of 28 scientists has reportedly come up with proof that the Earth’s continents are on the move. In related news, evidence is mounting that the Earth is, in fact, round

Europe's first stegosaurus discovered. Good for them

(12)

Alleged porn spammer settles with FTC in what may be the most expensive money shot in history

How can you tell the Baby Boom generation is getting old? When scientists invent a smokable pain medication

(18)

Remote device allows cardiologist to monitor patients daily at their homes, can send someone around to see if you're fapping or dying

New study shows male rats try to finish as quickly as possible, while female rats try to extend the encounter by "pacing," marriage

(29)

Who needs batteries when you have... candles? (video)

Twenty-three years of Windows OS

(46)

Wed January 31, 2007:

# of Comments

Flickr to require Yahoo usernames to scan people's photos of nude beaches and underage college chicks making out

(97)

Top 100 alternative search engines

Dude, you're gettin' a golden parachute. Dell CEO steps down, Michael Dell re-assumes lead role

Jim Gray, who helped develop Google Earth, vanishes from face of it while on solo sailing trip

How to recharge normal batteries

(54)

Here's your flying car -- now quit your biatching

(34)

Researchers halt studies of anti-HIV gel after findings suggest it actually increased chances of contracting the disease

The worst headline regarding Windows Vista you've ever read...

(64)

EBay has banned the selling of virtual booty from World of Warcraft, other games

(143)

2K Sports dusts off their football franchise and announces their Madden-killer

(40)

Experts to discuss effects of 24-hour drinking, provided they can find someone else to update the Fark queue while they attend conference

(60)

(Computerworld)

TomTom now offering complimentary viruses along with their GPS units. Users report turn-by-turn directions to Viagra distribution centers, hot stock tips and something about a Nigerian princess

America's problem: Junkies are using cold medicines like Sudafed as raw material to make meth. America's solution: Quietly dilute the products so they have so little pseudoephedrine, they are utterly useless as a cold remedy

(412)

Scotland to reintroduce wolves 240 years after they were hunted to extinction. Well, you have to have something to wrestle with on a Saturday night

Astronomers have found the first triple Quasar. Still no cure for gravitational ripples

(18)

Windows Vista is incompatible with many online games, including MSN's gaming portal

(40)

(Washington Post)

NASA still puzzled over the location of the missing moon-landing tapes. Spokesman says they were very expensive to fake in 1969, and NASA no longer has the budget to fake a whole new set

(dominicantoday)

Researchers say Hobbit skeleton was separate human species, which means Frodo could totally have knocked-up Eowyn

(16)

Cheerios: Better for you than starvation... barely

(73)

Nine footprints of huge prehistoric ground sloth found on Argentinian beach. Scientist expect to find a sunbathing sloth 20 metres further down the beach

Scientists figure out how to make spy planes smaller than bees. Go ahead and put your tinfoil hat on even tighter, we'll be posting JPEGs of it two seconds after you do

Baboons plan ahead for food-gathering trips, just like humans going to a supermarket. No word if the apes just go for eggs, come back with six bags of stuff they didn't plan on getting

Tue January 30, 2007:

# of Comments

(Popular Science)

Computer has a U.S. patent. No, not the person who made the computer, the computer itself has a patent. I for one welcome our new mechanized overlords

(28)

(Business Week)

New road-monitoring system handles autobahn speeds and aids drivers who can't judge distance or pay attention to their surroundings. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

(21)

Neptune may have thousands of escorts. Los Angeles unimpressed

(5)

Nation of Wal-Mart announces plans to build its own power grid

"It is a freakish, doped-up, mutant clone which hasn't had sex for thousands of years." FARK policital thread junkie? No, a banana

(105)

Making plasma with grapes has never been so easy

Paris Hilton and teenie-boppers rejoice: Apple iPod Shuffle second generation comes in pink. Ironic tag strictly for color coordination

(15)

Yes, the feds ARE monitoring your porn surfing, World of Warcraft forum postings and your blatant trolls on Fark

(75)

Fat kids have higher risk of developing foot problems, in part because they can't see them

(Windows for Devices)

What's the difference between Firefox 2 and IE 6/7? You can actually get Firefox to run on XP embedded

(36)

Sony settles with FTC over rootkits installed with music CDs

(149)

(Engadget)

Radiation Detected! Dirty bomb alert, everyone take cover! Oh wait, never mind. Just another cancer patient

(65)

Village which once housed the dwarves that built Stonehenge is found

(127)

(The Sun News)

Robot parking garage to open in New York. "It is a complete virtual impossibility that damage can occur," he said, before a giant iceberg wrecked his Hummer

(36)

(Ars Technica)

Apple pays double the legal fees of bloggers they unsuccessfully sued. Suck it, Jobs

Today's laptop containing medical records gets stolen brought to you by Salina KS, but don't worry. They're offering a $2000 reward

(5)

Congressional survey of government researchers finds 435 separate incidents of political pressure from the Bush Administration to downplay global warming over the last five years

(211)

Six years after the digital camera killed Polaroid, a team of ex-employees strike back with iPod-sized photo printer

(28)

Fiber-optic expenses and sucking combine to erase Verizon's fourth-quarter profits

(11)

Skeleton of archer unearthed at Stonehenge was not British, but from Switzerland, Austria or Germany, scientists say after examining his teeth. Apparently he had some

(EMedia Wire)

World lithium supply may not be enough to meet demand for car batteries. This is starting to sound familiar

(38)

Coolest photo of Comet McNaught you'll see in a million years

(Tom's Hardware)

There is no noticable performance difference between XP and Vista

(104)

After 25 years, the floppy disk goes the way of the punch card and magnetic tape drive, but will live on as beer coasters

(47)

(Engadget)

01/30/07 12:00 a.m.: Windows Vista released. 01/30/07 12:31 a.m.: Windows Vista Media Path DRM cracked

(73)

Mon January 29, 2007:

# of Comments

(Broadcast Newsroom)

Nickolodeon to debut "Nicktropolis" online community where children can chat, play games, meet child molestors

Two words you never want to see together: Medical clowns. (With pic. Dear God Almighty, with pic)

(35)

Andromeda involved in collision. Told you not to let her drive

(Computer World)

Naked telecommuting becoming more popular, wood-slat desk chairs not so much

(50)

(PC Mag)

Bill Gates predicts current TV will soon look like puke, thanks to the Internet and its offerings such as, "Skater Breaks Arm Jumping Car," "College Girl Let Nipple Slip" and "Teen Mangles 'Stairway to Heaven' Solo"

(24)

(Imaging Resource)

Meet the new $24,995 31-megapixel camera: Because the Web needs more detailed MySpace photos of you in front of a mirror

(Popular Science)

Undead viruses. Killer foxes. Soldiers who never sleep. This is no horror movie -- it's today's scientists at their most daring

New star discovered in Southern Cross constellation depicted on Australian flag. Astronomers predict it will appear in hit action-comedy debut film, win Oscar for overrated drama, and enter sham marriage with star on American flag

(104)

National and state report commissioned by the Ric Romero Institute finds that children are likely to imitate adults' risky and dysfunctional behaviors

(Steve)

Vista is released in New Zealand. Widespread blackouts and deaths reported

Google hires plane to take pictures of Australia for its Google Maps site. Then, Microsoft hires plane to take pictures of Google plane taking pictures. Then, nobody takes any pictures

(WSMV Nashville)

Researchers burning the midnight oil and pulling all-nighters to figure out how to beat insomnia

MySpace creates sex-offender database to go along with its current abduction-candidate database

MSNBC expert just can't get over how awesome the new MS Office is

(46)

(Yakima Herald Republic)

Two-way wrist radio helps locate patient with dementia, foil Flattop Jones

(Some Creamer)

Caffeine is fine fetus food. Enjoy Starbucks, preggers

Sweden to set up virtual embassy in "Second Life," hopes to attract more visitors for Swedes to cyber with

(7)

Bill Gates claims Vista will "wow" its users. As in, "Wow, does this suck" or "Wow, WTF happened to all my data?"

(439)

Sony to slash PS3 prices by 25 percent "within 12 months" of March. No word on whether douchebaggery will be cut, as well

(66)

Microsoft plans on making XP SP3 so bad that everyone will want to upgrade to Vista

(50)

(Some Blog)

Top 10 Flickr hacks

Indonesia announces name change caused by oceanic rise: "Atlantis"

Queensland, Australia to drink waste water, which is still better than Foster's

TELUS Mobile offering porn to Canadian mobile phone customers. And you thought just talking while driving was dangerous

(35)

Website lets you hum that hard-to-place tune and finds the title for you. Oh, and it will also sell you a copy of the song

(35)

New global-warming report says "by 2100, the sea level will rise anywhere between five and 23 inches." And that is just the sugarcoated version

(69)

Study finds that women prefer to date extremely masculine men, but marry men with more feminine characteristics

(31)

In case you were asleep: Research findings shed light on sleep disorder narcolepsy