Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Tech Archives for '2006-12-10 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(thestar.com.my)

Malaysian doctor writes about nasal problems people sometimes have. It's snot news, it's Fark.com

(2)

(NASA)

Hi-res photos of last night's shuttle launch

(3)

You know all that "science" they've been using to convict arsonists over the years? Yeah, our bad

(some silo)

You too can live in an abandoned Atlas-F Missile Silo with plenty of pic goodness

(Some Scientist Guy)

U.N. finally amits the theory that human activity causes global warming is a hoax

(34)

Alterna-fuel RV takes family cross-country on $47 of diesel

(9)

(Some Artist)

Coolest modern technology space battleship you'll see all week. Your dog wants a spacesuit

(41)

Dragon appears in Jilin Province

(51)

Neatest chart of climate change ever

Sat December 09, 2006:

# of Comments

Televised Open University programs will come to an end in Britain next week after more than 30 years of lulling drunken Brits to sleep with 5 a.m. lectures on particle physics and hydrocarbon bonds

(43)

More proof that we need to destroy the sun before it destroys us: solar storm so powerful it made buildings catch on fire

(115)

Meet entomologist Justin Schmidt, stung by over 150 insects on 6 continents and author of the definitve work on insect stings, the "Justin O. Schmidt Sting Pain Index"

Criminal gangs paying for IT students to become hackers

(49)

Windows Vista to have an immediate impact on new computers. Bloatware? DRM? Compatibility issues? Well, yes, but the article is on the cost of building a new PC

(29)

Prostate robot is finally getting some respect

(13)

Clock speed is soo 2006. The new debate between Intel and AMD is the number of cores a processor has

(41)

Now you can get a facial from Starbucks (pic)

Unboxing: the new geek porn

(30)

How to: find the hidden game in Excel 2000

(29)

(bit-tech)

Professional gamers to be drug tested. In future news, thousands of gamers disqualified for caffeine abuse

20 things you didn't know about rats

(101)

Average American's 'carbon footprint' works out to 19 tons a year, or almost twice the average British one

(42)

Fri December 08, 2006:

# of Comments

(Some Beekeeper)

100-million-year old bee found in amber. No word on when the theme park opens

(17)

US scientist says there are plenty of fish in the sea, adds that he's big-boned with a nice personality, and when it's right, he'll know it

Why is it so difficult to launch a space shuttle? It ain't rocket science, people

(25)

Planetary threesome set for this weekend. Fortunately, Uranus not involved

The top 25 web sites from 1994

(72)

(LG to GIF, DIT)

The coolest video of a solar tsunami you might ever see

New software can detect eBay auction fraud. EBay listings soon to fall by 50%

(16)

Japanese scientists extract vanilla from cow dung

(21)

The 7 kids' health myths every mom should ignore

(171)

Wii being played on a 1.5 inch TV

(29)

Microsoft will not patch critical hole in Office software during the next 'patch Tuesday'. SysAdmins seen stocking up on redbull and AV licenses

(Some G5)

In another stroke of marketing genius, Apple may be building a videogame console. Because when you think Apple, you think videogames

(85)

New 3D graphics software so advanced and realistic, they're calling it "4D". Experts vague on how CGI can travel through time

(35)

New hope for people with Spinal Cord Injuries -- Christopher Reeve's therapy helps 3 year old boy walk again

(91)

(Science)

Scientists discover groupers and moray eels cooperate and hunt together, on porpoise, not just for the halibut

(22)

Viagra: is there anything it can't do?

(11)

Malaria aids AIDS

Coolest concept cars you'll see all week

(116)

Not News: Hackers Crack Microsoft VISTA Really Not News: Took less than a month. Fark: MS claims this is proof that they needed arsine registration system in the first place

(277)

16% of socially inept teens use IM-ing to dump someone

(172)

(Businessweek)

Kevin Rose runs at the mouth, reveals proprietary Apple info: new iPhone will have 2 batteries (1 for phone, 1 for music), slide-out keyboard, either 4 GB or 8GB size, sell for $249 or $449

James Kim got lost because Google Maps gave him bad directions

(51)

Firefly MMORPG on the way. I'll be in my bunk

(225)

This just in...Hurricane Season 2007 Hype has officially begun

(95)

Shuttle may launch Saturday, when it will either be sunny or cloudy, depending on the weather

Drug maker develops chewable contraceptive, for women who don't like to swallow. Pills, that is

(69)

(Curbly)

How to turn a CD holder into a reusable toilet paper dispenser

(23)

The first big target of Australian stem cell research will be a cure for diabetes. Sweet

Congress declares war on autism. Autism responds by putting all of its toy cars in a straight line, then sitting there looking at them while repeatedly flapping its arms and rocking back and forth

(36)

New improved yeast may produce new improved (well stronger) drinks

Frog frozen solid at -18° C defrosted and revived, goes searching for his old buddy the Encino Man

(10)

Thu December 07, 2006:

# of Comments

Every gangsta needs a bulletproof grill

(NASA)

Sunset on Mars. The Sun is there

Live feed from NASA TV - watch the shuttle launch... meh. Scrubbed

(358)

Good news: New drug works better than Viagra. Bad news: Must be injected at the base of your wanker. "You may feel a bit of a prick"

(Dailytech)

Apple's latest offering: iTrash

(31)

Britain bans teaching "intelligent design" as an alternative to evolution. "One is science -- a rational thought process which will carry us forward into the indefinite future. The other is a cop-out"

(129)

Worm visits MySpace, tries to hook up with centipedes in your vagina

Poll finds teens are more likely than adults to use instant messenging

(22)

With the election over, and no new pretty white woman dead or missing, CNN decides to again take up the mantle of the "Deadly Bird FLU OGM WTF"

(16)

Hominid fossil found at South Africa's "Cradle of Humankind" may be younger than first thought. Suck it, evolutionists

(Funhouse)

Amazing 3D image reconstruction

(Some Happy Little Trees)

Russia hears NASA is going to the Moon. Asks for ride, offers gas money and snacks for the trip

(85)

Painting happy little trees in your living room once again. Wii plans Bob Ross video game

Teenagers' gadgets, just like teenagers themselves, found to be a huge waste of energy

(Some Blog)

Christmas tree made out of Mountain Dew cans

(9)

China decides the Blu-Ray/HD-DVD debate is not big enough and introduces another format for DVDs. Thanks China

(Some)

GM wins L.A. Auto Show Design Challenge, with a concept for a hydrogen-cell Hummer that makes oxygen by photosynthesis

Trial shows schizophrenia drug effective. Trial, what trial? Why was there a trial? Where's my tin foil? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

Today's survey question that makes you go "Huh?": "U.S. adults see nanotech as less risky than guns"

(33)

(India Times)

Step 1: Encourage huge call-center outsourcing industry operating on a shoestring budget using non-taxed VOIP. Step 2: Outlaw business use of non-taxed VOIP. Step 3: Profit... oops, I meant "watch your amazing imploding economy"

Juvenile obesity and undeserved instant celebrity not just for Americans anymore: "Little Fatty" is the latest sensation in web-crazy China. With video of the fat fark

And from the "Let's Pull Statistics out of our Ass" Department: Calif. construction pollution killed 1,100 in '05

(10)

From sci-fi to sci-fact

(21)

(The Age)

Tang and freeze-dried ice cream aren't the only menu items in orbit anymore. Now your tax dollars are being wasted on shrimp cocktail and turkey tetrazzini

(16)

What do you get when you cross Gene Simmons with a flying mouse? The tube-lipped nectar bat, whose licking reach is longer than its whole body

(13)

Step-by-step instructions for getting a live person on the phone for iTunes customer support

Wed December 06, 2006:

# of Comments

Fiction: A drunken teenager can tip over a sleeping cow. Fact: It would take several semi-sober people and a paralyzed cow. Fark: This will not stop drunk teens from attemping to tip cows

(137)

The music industry is releasing songs online in MP3 format saving the consumer countless minutes transferring the songs themselves

(Macworld)

If your WoW fansite's home page suddenly sports the FBI logo and a statement saying it's been seized by the government, be advised that the FBI doesn't have the power to do that. Yet

(22)

Microsoft expects one million Zunes to be sold by June 2007... or 2008... or maybe 2009...

(44)

(Businessweek)

Amazon buys a chunk of Wikia. What could possibly go wrong?

(122)

(Some IT Guy)

Microsoft's latest bloatware blunder: Only six percent of business PCs meet system requirements

(69)

NASA: New study of photographs taken from orbit suggests liquid water flowed on surface -- as recently as several years ago. Or, it's oil. U.S. to announce invasion plans to liberate the Nartian people

(150)

A "Mr. Smith" wants to register the domain name "signin-ebay-c.com." Anyone with a nose can smell a phisher here. So why sell him the name? I mean, aside from the fee?

Apple disputes report that says its computers are used more by the hip-replacement crowd than the hip crowd

(95)

Scientists name the land of lutefisk and Jell-o salad the U.S.'s healthiest state. The home of jambalya, gumbo and Big Gulp-sized cocktails called the unhealthiest. And scientists wonder why nobody listens to them

(140)

California's Owens River gets water today... for the first time since 1913

(Tech Digest)

"Second Life" is "not just a white middle-class geek tool" any more, says man whose business revolves around convincing record labels that "Second Life" isn't full of geeks. Go figure

(engadget.com)

Nintendo's answer to all the damages caused by the Wii controller: Don't let go of it, dumbass

(324)

(PC World)

New Microsoft Word hack adds a specific string of characters to the end of a Word file, which corrupts your memory and leaves your computer wide open. Still no word on the "brown noise" hack for Windows Media Player

(Destructoid)

Blogger who claimed his PS3 burned his house down now confesses that he has neither a PS3, nor a house to burn down

Small wanger? Compensate with a Giant Wenger -- a $1200, one-kilogram, 85-implement Swiss Army knife

(11)

High school senior wins top science competition by researching mathematics nobody else understands

(45)

(gizmodo)

Now you can shoot AND stab someone at the same time, with GUNknife® (with video)

(35)

Yahoo to undergo streamlining makeover to become more competitive with Google. Let's give them some false hope by clicking this link repeatedly

"I went in for brain surgery and all I got was this lousy case of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease"

The Top 14 ways people screw up their website

(41)

This is how an engineer makes a milkshake

The 8th International Robot Olympiad opened today, Ben Johnsonbot immediately disqualified after testing positive for nitrous

(28)

The 7 home gadgets you can't buy

Ban on stem cell cloning in Australia overturned. In other news, Ban on stem cell cloning in Australia overturned

(DoE)

Department of Energy announces breakthrough in solar cell efficiency. Oil companies send out the hitmen

Apparently, turning your radio down will help you get better gas mileage. Here comes the silence

Tasmanian forestry service using banned chemical to blow up giant trees. And you thought the Ents were pissed at that fifteen-year-old girl

(Omnipelagos)

Cool search engine that finds the shortest path between any two things

(55)

Japan sending astronauts into space, but sending country's national dish with them remains a problem. "So far, nobody has been able to make space sushi," space agency official says. "I think shelf life may be a problem"

(Some Chauvinist)

Women are less funny than men -- here comes the science. A bunch of farkettes submitted this with much worse headlines

(Antara)

Scientists spot black hole devouring nearby star. Mmmm... hydrogen

(11)

Tue December 05, 2006:

# of Comments

Novell stock falls three percent on news of crappy earnings. In other news, Novell still has earnings

(NASA)

Satellite photographs of the Midwest snowfall last week. If you stare at it long enough, Edgar Winter appears

(Techdirt.com)

Mobile-phone operators still all suck. Obvious tag's head asplode

Egad? Edag German company now taking orders for conversion kit that turns your Pontiac Solstice into a bread van

(6)

(Some Martian)

NASA to announce "significant find" on Mars at press briefing tomorrow. And by "significant find" they mean "ooooh, this rock looks a little bit like a puppy"

(308)

Archaeologists find mummy of 4000-year-old doctor. Also recovered: Sarcophagus, burial mask and bronze surgical instruments

(6)

Vista pwn3d by malware. From 2004

(25)

(Some Carl Sagan Guy)

The "Cosmos" discussion thread and drinking game

(317)

"Expression Studio," Microsoft's answer to Adobe Photoshop, is to be released mid 2007. Only $600 for the software and a courtesy reach-around from MS Paint

(54)

From the "No Matter How Much You Wish It Were True" department: Cellphones do not cause cancer

(Some Chip)

AMD desktop chip shrinking to 65nm; explains, "I was in the pool"

Intel Corporation ceases its tuition reimbursement plan for employees at all schools that don't have blue-ribbon accreditation. I think it's safe to say we can blame this on the Blue Man Group

(Crunch Gear)

Pentagon ready to use "Goodbye" weapon in Iraq which make victims flee in terror. Naked pictures of Bea Arthur being mounted on tank turrets as we speak

(184)

SCO's two-day double-digit dip run done, claim Kim Jong Il kidnapped their web authors

(6)

The FBI is still $56.7M away from being able to track every aspect of our lives

(82)

MySpace to build a national sex offender database and check it against MySpace profiles. Still no plans to teach people how to make a page that doesn't rape the eyes

(13)

(New West)

Alternatives to the crappy LOL abbreviation

Hidden tricks for "3D Pinball"

(CSO)

Windows Vista is wide open to almost 40 percent of the malware currently circulating

(Some Dust Devil)

Worldwide distribution of tornadoes

A top 10 internet search survey for 2006 reveals that Americans are mostly interested in searching for Boobies on-line

(96)

Audi engineer who once worked with Jimi Hendrix develops new chip that can replicate studio sound in your car

China will remain an underdeveloped nation for at least 40 or 50 years. Also, that's not true

Scientists warn of catastrophic decline of the coral reef shark population. You submitted this with a ASCII art headline tagged AAAH, NO SHARKS

(9)

We've all seen commercials for self-parking cars. Here comes the science. Next big feature: A car that automatically flips off the guy who cut you off

Study finds that the richest two percent of the world's population own 50 percent of the wealth, while the bottom 50 percent own one percent of the wealth

(109)

(Businessweek)

New programs fight GooTube's copyright battle, tag forbidden material from pecularities in shooting and editing. Captain Morgan raises his left leg, does a shot of rum, and reports that he's not afraid

Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter takes photogrpahs of three NASA landers used in previous missions to Mars, follows them to seedy bar in hopes of catching them in act of passion

(Tech Digest)

Top 10 things you never knew about "Grand Theft Auto" (because you're not brainy enough). Selection of suitably pseudoy academic quotes from a new book called "The Meaning and Culture of Grand Theft Auto: Critical Essays"

(27)

The two most searched things on Yahoo for 2006 are Britney Spears and World Wrestling Entertainment. Also, for some reason, K-Fed

IRS to tax "gains" on sale of virtual assets in online games like "World of Warcraft," "Second Life" and "EverQuest"

(255)

Warner Music CEO's children steal music, receive a stern talking to. Your grandmother downloads music, and she's a thief AND a whore

PS4 In 2010, claims Sony. To include Betamax and Minidisk player with root kit and some other proprietary crap that costs too much

(30)

You'd think that with all the spam in your inbox, old-fashioned junk mail was going the way of the buggy whip. Alas, snail-mail spam up 7.5 percent this year

Toshiba makes your iPod video obsolete, announces 1.8-inch hard drive with a whopping capacity of 100 GB

(27)

Stay-at-home moms led to homo sapiens succeeding where neanderthals failed. Take this lesson to heart, throwback feminists

(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

New study discredits "gateway theory" of marijuana use, makes unprecedented scientific discovery that gates can swing both ways

(46)