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Sun March 22, 2009
(France24) Sad Not enough time to pray, chant, or find right direction toward Mecca? For modest monthly fee, computers will recite prayers for those "too busy in this Information Age" (141)
(Cleveland) Amusing Actual headline: "Bald squirrels will regrow fur in weeks ahead" (15)
(Washington Post) Amusing Facebook Homepage Poll so popular that Facebook is cutting back the number of particpants it will allow to vote on it. So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause (74)
(SeattlePI) Sad Experts doubt teens are sending lots of nude photos on cell phones (68)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Feeling germaphobic about your soft drinks? The Cole Cleaner uses UV radiation to disinfect your soda cans. Sadly, no gadget on the market could ever begin to disinfect your promiscuous mother (38)
(Oregon Live) Scary Seismologists puzzled by "swarm" of small earthquakes near Hanford nuclear waste site. Godzilla unavailable for comment (87)
(Boston Globe) Scary Spacewalkers accidentally install pin upside down. Or downside up...or whatever, it's space (33)
(Science Daily) Obvious Drinking and hanging around with friends found to be good for cardiovascular health. Farkers settle for half the benefits (13)

Sat March 21, 2009
(MSN) Scary Vasectomies are up in the down economy. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes ya don't (55)
(CNN) Video You know, back in St Olaf it took us 300 steps to change a light bulb. It still does (28)
(Some Paranoid) Dumbass "Contrails? Nuh-uh -- they're CHEMtrails. The government is spraying something sinister all over the sky all the time. I hope it's something to stop global warming." There just isn't enough tinfoil (193)
(Some Guy) Sad How to calculate your water footprint, if you're the kind of ADHD hippie that obsesses over such trivia (49)
(PhysOrg.com) Followup Remember that NASA bedrest study that was posted on Fark a few months ago? Here are the first results (22)
(Gizmodo) Cool New robot will now roll around and pee in your plants for you. Your plant wants a robot (36)
(TechEBlog) Cool Gamer builds realistic Gran Turismo 5 racing cockpit, modeled after the S2000's (41)
(Internet News) Misc TomTom slaps Microsoft with countersuit. James Brown, James Brown (27)
(Internet News) Misc Is Oracle forking Red Hat, your mom? (28)

Fri March 20, 2009
(Some Guy) Interesting Researchers at the University of Florida have introduced 'Delicious', a new muscadine grape cultivar, beating out the 'Yech' and 'Blaaaaargh' varieties (15)
(YouTube) Strange Today's useless iPhone app is the virtual mouth. Creepy (32)
(Telegraph) Obvious Lotus Elise driver clocked by police at 173mph avoids jail after successfully arguing Lotuses don't go that fast (71)
(Information Week) Obvious Internet Explorer 8 causes system crashes, displays partially loaded web pages, and is full of code errors. In other words, it's like IE7, only with more colors (74)
(Yahoo) Interesting Nearly 13% of people in longer relationships can still find the romance. 50% can find a lawyer. And 37% long for the relief that death brings  T-Shirt (38)
(The Industry Standard) Interesting EBay suspends users selling counterfeit items, offers 10-for-1 deal on new Rolecks watches (29)
(Telegraph) Silly Scientists claim that all jokes fit into eight categories, amongst which are "qualification", "completion", "division" and "stolen from a Fark headline of three years ago" (40)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting German meteorologists commission supercomputer to improve their weather forecasting, even though there's really only so many ways you can say "crap", even in a language as versatile as German (21)
(Ars Technica) Followup After one day of Pwn2Own, Chrome is the last browser standing (60)
(Discover) Obvious After careful study, doctors have determined that putting maggots in your open wounds may not be a great idea (22)
(BBC) Sad Birds of a feather disappear together (59)
(Wired) Dumbass Indian Space Agency claims discovery of extraterrestrial life, apparently not having grasped the definition of extraterrestrial (22)
(Metro) Strange Astronauts test 7-day underwear because the 3-day version stinks (19)
(UPI) Cool You can now cross "ozone-layer depletion" from your list of ways humans will destroy the earth (76)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Serenity 2: the reasons why now 's the right time to finally green light it (163)
(Google) Cool Gmail adds an "unsend" option for those people who can't get it right the first time. Now only if Fark had this option for headline spelling mistaeks (46)
(Some Guy) Cool The coolest macro pictures of eyes that you will see all day (65)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Is it possible I'm not as good looking as I think I am? (63)
(London Times) Wheaton British study reveals that maggots and leeches provide excellent wound care. Still unclear how long until they are included with first aid kits (35)
(Telegraph) Interesting Researchers discover evidence of "monster lobster" which prowled ancient seas. We're gonna need a bigger helping of garlic butter (43)

Thu March 19, 2009
(Financial Times) Interesting Robotic fish to hunt down pollution, Sarah Connor (18)
(The New York Times) Amusing Captain's Log, Stardate 4578.86: I'm sitting in my living room wondering why my wife left me when I brought home this awesome replica chair (69)
(Gizmodo) Cool Bang & Olufsen have made a $135,000 TV that adjusts itself to your viewing level. Still won't get you a beer from the fridge (41)
(Gizmodo) Sad RIP Spacebat. Your country salutes your heroic sacrifice (79)
(The Sun) Unlikely Britain's chief scientist says 2030 could see a "perfect storm" of food, water, and energy shortages that unleash mass unrest and migration. Doesn't he know the world will end in 2012? (145)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Scientists create tobacco plants that could help cure diabetes and arthritis. Too bad about that cancer thingy (29)
(C|Net) Cool Cadillac's new feature: in-car internet. Satellite radio, thy days are numbered (87)
(NPR) Cool Scientists discover smallest known North American dinosaur, which lived 75 million years ago. It was about the size of a chicken, was two-legged and had sharp teeth. It has been named "Joan Riversaurus" (82)
(BBSpot) Cool Twitter unveils new premium accounts (69)
(Computerworld) Cool Ladies and gentlemen, your flying car has finally arrived (77)
(Engadget) Interesting Microsoft to release Internet Explorer 8 today, first security patch tomorrow (117)
(News.com.au) Asinine Leaked Australian censorship "blacklist" contains incredibly dangerous sites like Wikipedia, YouTube, a country dentist, and 38th most popular site in the country which under the law Subby cannot name (75)
(News.com.au) Scary Global warming is creating cannibalistic polar bears (100)
(YouTube) Amusing What if STAR TREK Was Made by Country Folk? (38)
(Computerworld) Amusing Macs are so secure it took a full 10 seconds to hack one (207)

Wed March 18, 2009
(G4TV) Asinine Finally, a videogame that will let you track a deer by smelling its poop (22)
(Yahoo) Spiffy "Some [professors] are taking the nuclear option and simply banning laptop use altogether while class is in session. That's too bad for all the bored students who no longer have MySpace and Fark with which to distract themselves" (89)
(Computerworld) Obvious Mac clone maker Psystar has withered away in the face of Apple's strong sales. Just kidding, they're so successful that they're launching another new model (54)
(Boston Globe) PSA Prostate cancer researchers get their hands dirty, probe the possibility that testing may cause more harm than good, and say if we don't turn a blind one-eye to this sticky situation things will come out fine in the end (16)
(Labspaces.net) Interesting Brain abnormality found in boys with OMG cool there's a picture of a brain on that page let's go ride bikes (79)
(NASA) Sad Batstronaut slips the surly bonds of earth (106)
(USA Today) Interesting For the first time since the dot-com bust, there is a jump in the number of undergraduate computer-science majors. Evidently Facebook and YouTube draws teens into the field (119)
(Ars Technica) Unlikely Report says PS3 will gain "tremendous" ground next year. This is a repeat from 2006, 2007, and 2008 (244)
(Game Politics) Asinine Personality quiz: 1. Do you play Animal Crossing? 2. Are you over 18? If you answered yes to these questions, the Mid-Missouri Internet Crimes Task Force would like you to know that you are a pedophile (145)

Tue March 17, 2009
(BBC) Cool Finnish programmer loses finger in motorcycle accident. Upgrades to Finger 2.0 (29)
(Labspaces.net) Stupid Your parents are the reason you're a dumbass. Dumbass (45)
(UPI) Interesting Australian researchers experiment with lasers to improve high-speed Internet service to the rural outback, no longer having issues with poor signal koalaty (29)
(Reuters) Interesting As many as 75% of all doctors will be writing electronic prescriptions within five years, meaning that in five years some 12 year old hacker from new Jersey will become the country's largest illegal drug supplier (44)
(CBS News) Cool The Aptera might be the vehicle of the future. Watch your back, Segway (74)
(CTV) Interesting Court case in British Columbia could result in Google being declared illegal (36)
(Telegraph) Cool Teens capture photos of space using only a balloon and £56 camera. That's rising to the occasion (134)
(MediaMemo) Fail Bad idea, executed poorly: ABC interviews John McCain using Twitter (66)
(The Industry Standard) Fail Windows Azure users get a blue cloud of death (20)
(New Scientist) Cool Seven of the coolest illusions you'll feel today (20)
(Engadget) Spiffy The iPhone gets copy and paste. The iPhone gets copy and paste. The iPhone gets copy and paste. The iPh (81)
(YouTube) Spiffy The tastiest solar cell you can make in your home. Bonus: vodak is involved. Double-bonus: so are powdered doughnuts (27)
(Reuters) Obvious Google rolls out new online tool to help consumers save on their energy bills in starkest display yet of company's desire for power (10)
(New Scientist) Cool Neurobiology research finds that consciousness arises from the coordinated interplay between all portions of the brain. Descartes seen tugging his collar, looking around nervously  T-Shirt (31)
(Discover) Cool Saturn flashes four giant moons, seen lending pants to Kim Kardashian (10)
(Vator.tv) Interesting In about 15 months Myspace is going down the crapper (83)
(C|Net) Interesting Yahoo to streamline home page after users have been "incensed that it took too many mouse clicks to glance at their e-mail". They'll get over it (51)
(The Inquirer) Fail Apple developer creates logo for iPhone app called icount... fails to notice that the letter 'o' is less obvious and reveals what he really thinks about Apple boys. (Safe for work unless your boss has the same mind as submitter) (36)
(WTOP) Interesting Studies find link between Type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer's, explaining why Wilford Brimley has been making the same commercial for 10 years (16)
(CNN) Interesting I, for one, welcome our ultraviolet-light resistant stratospheric-dwelling bacteria overlords (36)
(SMH) Scary Australian government to fine people $11K a day just for linking to "illegal" Web sites (39)
(C|Net) Scary Over 8,000 Comcast usernames and passwords have been leaked onto the internet. Everything looks to be perfect over here, so the trouble must be on your end (39)
(Free Press) Sad Even comic book fans are cutting back during our recessionary times. "Instead of seeing the Batman movie three or four times, they'll see it less" (64)
(Some Guy) Obvious Windows 7 gets another facelift, soon to be called OSX (176)
(BBC) Cool Typical - you and your pals spend ages putting together a herring ball, and some humpback comes along and eats them all in one gulp (with video goodness)  T-Shirt (46)
(News.com.au) Interesting Ever wondered how they count lightning strikes? (25)
(The Register) Interesting New cookie-filled taco plug-in can help protect your surfing habits against prying eyes. And it sounds delicious (25)
(C|Net) Cool Apple TV that nobody bought to get video games nobody will play. This is what happens when Steve Jobs takes time off (75)

Mon March 16, 2009
(Canada.com) Scary Scientists say giant marine dinosaur "Predator X" would make T-Rex look like a sissy, with foot-long teeth and a bite that could crush a Hummer. T-Rex spotted 100 feet from shore mumbling, "Yeah, you're not so tough" (63)
(MSNBC) Silly Teenaged dinosaurs routinely hung out together and got in trouble. You damn ornithomimids get off my lawn (15)
(AP) Obvious China says that the buyers of their products are to blame for the factories' appalling environmental effects as a result of producing cheap-assed crapola (49)
(Discover) Cool The best Hubble/Spitzer mashup you've seen since the Big Bang (31)
(Telegraph) Obvious New study shows people with higher IQs live longer, primarily because they are less likely to say things like "Hey, hold my beer and watch this" (111)
(Wired) Cool If the skies are clear across North America and Europe tonight, you'll be able to look up and see the Space Shuttle chase the ISS. Go take a look - Fark will still be here when you get back (59)
(New Scientist) Cool Scientist wins $1.4 million prize for his study of "the true nature of ultimate reality." Whatever that means, let's hope it doesn't spawn a movie staring Keanu Reeves (105)
(Canada.com) Dumbass One-third of Canadians don't know what a "25% chance of rain" means. For the record, rain is liquid snow (61)
(Some Guy) Obvious "What are these Green groups going to do when the vast population of the United States and elsewhere around the world concludes that there is no global warming? That day is not far off" (401)
(Guardian.com) Obvious "The car as feat of engineering, as object of obsession strikes no chord with me. Every so often I'm thrust into the company of men for whom cars are the source of life's ultimate symphony. They make me nervous. I edge away" (90)
(Vator.tv) Cool Finally we can't get in trouble for watching the NCAA tournament at work (13)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Scientists develop pill allowing obese individuals to eat whatever they want and not gain weight. Fat people around the world jump for joy, hyperventilate (138)
(Keep your laws out of my ears) Interesting Not news: DRM in our songs and videos. Fark: DRM in our headphones? (77)
(3 News New Zealand) Interesting I wnt 2 cm out ov da clst - SMS service launched for teens questioning sexuality (48)
(MSNBC) Cool Google now allows you to get live pictures of Mars without getting off Uranus (17)
(Some Guy) Spiffy New species of seafood-eating wolf discovered on the Northwest Coast, and ain't it the prettiest thing (45)

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