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Sun May 04, 2008
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Protected Sea Lions shot dead. OH THE HUGE MANATEE (5)
(cracked) Amusing 9 devices that are clearly compensating for something (52)
(Daily Mail) Cool Contract to develop little robotic spiders for U.S. Army awarded. With pics. Cool tag wins over scary, cause sometimes scary is cool (41)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting How do you send a spacecraft into the million-degree corona of the sun? Go at night, of course (27)
(Guardian.com) Interesting British university has launched a Masters degree in 'cyberpsychology' which tries to understand why fat, balding truckers from Idaho pretend to be hot women on the internets (35)
(Some Guy) Interesting I control the spices, I control the universe (31)
(The Scotsman) Cool Researchers at Xerox have created paper that erases itself after 24 hours. Perfect for all your stalking celebrities needs (26)
(Some Guy) Amusing Some people never gave up Mario Paint; 10 creative music compilations that will never let you down (38)
(DallasNews) Cool Twenty ways to live to be 100. Keeping whippersnappers off your lawn did not make the list, but reading Fark is sort of #19 (18)
(Guardian.com) Florida Some scientist you never heard of has figured out why there's a surge in shark attacks this year: Global warming (221)
(Reuters) Interesting Each year, 50 times as much work goes into playing with Legos as into the entire Wikipedia project (27)

Sat May 03, 2008
(Daily Mail) Scary Scientists plan to recreate the Big Bang with the seven thousand ton Atlas detector. This is the sort of experiment that often gives scientists a bad name (74)
(Time) Interesting How David Blaine held his breath for 17 minutes. Even more amazing is how he managed to shut the hell up for 17 minutes (73)
(MSNBC) Cool Behold, Volvo's amazing vision of the future: The injury-proof car (69)
(Inquirer) Obvious Apple's backdoor shenanigans pay off. Bundling Safari with iTunes results in three-fold increase in market share (98)
(Gizmodo) Cool Behold the epic awesomeness of the world's largest foosball table. Up to 22 players can take part in the foosball match to end all foosball matches (29)
(Reuters) Spiffy Expert sees peanut allergy solution within 5 years. Fiesta Mix surrenders (28)
(Gizmodo) Amusing Fark may have to brace for the conflict that it never wished to fight: squirrel vs. robo-squirrel (10)
(AZCentral) Cool Inflatable dolls, not content with being girlfriends, now want to save lives too (14)

Fri May 02, 2008
(BBC) Interesting Downgraded from "good idea" to "crime against humanity," biofuels rebound all the way to "something no one should invest in." (136)
(New Scientist) Cool A superheavy element – heavier than anything previously found in nature or made in the lab – exists naturally in the rocks of Earth. Is it the fuel of UFOs and antigravity? (105)
(BFF Jill) Unlikely Scientist claims IM is a seprarate language. O RLY? (41)
(Wordspy) Interesting Mullet: First it's a fish, then a haircut, now an Internet strategy to dupe the rubes (17)
(io9) Cool Battle royale of the solar system's major satellites for the title of Awesomest Moon. With chart. The winner is off-limits to landing (25)
(Fox News) Interesting "Earth's interior a lot like chunky peanut butter" (27)
(The Register) Amusing Take a sweater and your thong, We don't know how this is going to turn out yet (22)
(Kotaku) Cool Metal Gear Solid 4 or: How I Learned to Stop playing 360 and optimize the PS3 (before and after shots) (75)
(Some Guy) Amusing What a "toned down" version of Grand Theft Auto IV would look like (55)
(Some Guy) Interesting There's oil in Afghanistan, we need to start a war or something there... wait, what? Ah, how convenient (18)
(Some Guy) Interesting Universal Translator technology may be possible. Your cat has a strongly worded message for your dog (38)
(io9) Amusing According to TV and the movies, there are basically four styles of clothing you'll wear in the future, and three of them will be really uncomfortable (96)
(The Deal) Obvious Yu-Gi-Oh No: Atari gets bought for a jawbreaker and a pack of envelopes (43)
(MTV) Cool Grand Theft Auto IV music man discusses the process of choosing 214 of the best songs for running, stealing, fighting and beating up hookers (209)
(Wired) Asinine RIAA sends huge surge of copyright infringement notices to universities--but no corresponding file-sharing logs exist. "We don't know why they are doing this and I'm not sure they know what they are doing." (86)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Female sex hormones may help prevent brain damage in people who suffer serious head injuries, according to scientists. Possible side effects may include loss of parking skills, the ability to detect dirt (24)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Fungus a threat to amphibians, Paris Hilton's reproductive system (6)
(Some Guy) Interesting Does this wavelength make you horny, baby? (8)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Rare giant worms found far from their prairie home. Local residents advised to remain still or stock up on dynamite (41)
(Game Politics) Hero X-Play's Adam Sessler PWNS Jack Thompson on NPR (129)
(Space Ref) Cool NASA invites people to join the lunar exploration journey with an opportunity to send their names to the moon aboard the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter. Jack Meoff, Seymour Butts not available for comment (39)
(Wired) Cool The slickest little electric concept car you'll see this week. Bonus: It's a Bentley (25)
(KTAR) Amusing Hungry rats: 1. Interwebs: 0 (18)

Thu May 01, 2008
(Some Guy) Spiffy Ugly-ass "dwarf cloud rat" rediscovered after 112 years (pic) (53)
(Some BBQer) Cool If you really want to grill like a man, you might consider the Hemi-powered V8 grill (with awesome pic) (30)
(9 News) Scary BBQ grill melts during Consumer Reports testing. That's a ● (51)
(Some Guy) Cool The $70,000 Nissan GT-R posts the second fastest lap time ever on the Nurburgring, trailing only the $900,000 Pagani Zonda by 2 seconds (127)
(UniverseToday) Cool As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you? (68)
(Some G Man) Followup Federal Agent says US Military's proposed Pain Ray Gun is really a Death Ray in disguise. Marvin the Martian wanted for questioning (56)
(What The ??) Interesting Are you too dumb to pick up SMS abbreviations? Well, here's a dictionary (52)
(Scientific American) PSA Everybody is a bigot. We can't help it, it's part of being a successfully evolved primate. Which leaves out Donald Trump (298)
(Gizmodo) Cool Remote control R2D2 includes an HD projector. Comes with a Millenium Falcon remote control. No word on if it's followed around by an effeminite gold robot with a british accent (41)
(TechnologyReview) Interesting An analysis of why extraterrestrial life is bad news for humans (143)
(Some Guy) Interesting Quantum encryption cracked, or still uncracked, or existing in a cracked-uncracked state (39)
(Game Politics) Wheaton Wil weighs in on GTA IV "controversy" (112)
(Reuters) Interesting AOL, RealNetworks and Yahoo could owe songwriters $100 million in royalties. For those of you having trouble envisioning that figure, it's a loooooooot of frickin' money (35)
(VGB) Cool Dial the gate! Incoming wormhole from the Stargate Worlds beta (69)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing 3 out of 4 mothers breast feed their ugly ass baby humans (54)
(WND) Interesting Trying to shed its image of lunatic diaper-clad astronauts, NASA now in business of helping evangelists predict Jesus' Second Coming. (w/cool pics) (119)
(Wired) Hero 10 PRINT "Happy Birthday", 20 GOTO 10: Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday (114)
(Newsweek) Interesting Parents are less strict with younger siblings, says recent study that will be cited ad nauseum by your older brother (45)
(Gizmodo) Cool HDTV to be dirt cheap next month (106)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious New apple bred to not go brown when it's cut; named "Enchanted," which narrowly beat out "Creepy" (23)
(Some Guy) Strange Google to release 3D Maps of the oceans. You know, in case you're lost, underwater, and alone. So very alone (38)
(IGN) Followup One more way video games are becoming the new movies: GTA IV cost $100 million to make (63)
(Reuters) Interesting Want to stop allergies? Get a dog (36)

Wed April 30, 2008
(Xinhua) Interesting Scientists prove existence of theoretical fourth circuit element, the memristor. Now searching for fifth element, multipass (30)
(Science Daily) Interesting Washington Irving was right. A is the scarlet letter (43)
(Some NASA Guy) Cool Today, NASA-funded researchers released to the general public a new "4D" live model of Earth's ionosphere. Without leaving home, anyone can now fly through the layer of ionized gas that encircles Earth at the edge of space itself (10)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Headline: "Ben Stein's fall from disgrace" (132)
(Some stumbler) Cool Coolest pic of space penis/dinosaur/constellation you'll see today. (SFW) What do you see? voting ON (87)
(BBC) Spiffy Not news: Man grows finger. News: It had been sliced off and mysteriously grew back. Fark: In four weeks (77)
(Crackberry.com) Interesting Why the Blackberry is better than the iPhone (58)
(National Review) Dumbass Ben Stein: "Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people" (245)
(CBS 4 Denver) Obvious It's true: women really do have a harder time losing weight than men (202)
(Fox News) Florida Girl, already living in Ca., lured to Hollywood, FLORIDA by MySpace stranger who promises to make her a star. With kids this dumb, the pervs don't even have to try anymore (77)
(PhysOrg) Silly German climate scientists: We don't dispute global warming, so just ignore that global cooling we're predicting over the next decade (133)
(Tom's Hardware Guide) Followup Good idea: Microsoft didn't hand out a secret back door key. Bad idea: they handed out publicly available tools that take down all of Windows' security. Now, it's Mime Time (32)
(BBC) Cool World's largest chimpanzee enclosure to open in Scotland. And we used to just call it "Glasgow" (15)
(Bloomberg) Interesting De Beers finds shipwreck off the coast of Namibia laden with treasure from the 1500s (42)
(SFGate) Misc TV Show Face-Off: "Lost" vs. "Battlestar Galactica" (205)
(PCWorld) Ironic Most anticipated comic book super hero movie in years expected to suffer at box office since everyone who cares will be in their parents' basement beating up hookers (78)
(BBC) Interesting World Wide Web inventor says the Internet is still in its infancy. GranniesSpankingSpanishMen.com begs to differ (21)
(Gizmodo) Stupid In a move encouraging the videotaping children in public, British crossing guards issued video cameras. When asked for his thoughts, a crossing guard replied, "At my house, I have Xbox and Skittles" (43)
(Some Guy) Followup The official "Grand Theft Auto IV" day-after discussion thread (LIKELY SPOILERS) (274)
(Some Guy) Asinine TechCrunch works with Paramount to set up a private screening of "Iron Man" -- only to be served with a C&D by Marvel (12)
(Official Microsoft Forum) PSA If you use Microsoft RMS at work, do not install WinXP SP3 until Microsoft figures out why it breaks their own retail management program (11)
(Some Guy) Asinine MADD wants "Grand Theft Auto IV" rated AO due to in-game drunk driving (290)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gasping for air as it lurches across the finish line, T-Mobile set to roll out 3G tomorrow. Bonus: It's voice 3G only (21)
(Forbes) Asinine Forbes Magazine's "Ten things you should know about Grand Theft Auto." Written by some idiot that picked up news reports, hearsay, disinformation and shoddy reasoning... everything but a controller (123)
(New Scientist) Interesting Let's celebrate. It's the 30th anniversary of spam. Not Spam, the other spam (16)
(Telegraph) Interesting Brain traning games is good for you're inteligance (26)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Amusing Electric nail files and laser-guided scissors are officially the most pointless inventions ever, according to a poll of people who have never seen the automated DVD rewinder (33)
(Some flying lover) Cool Flying remote-controlled jellyfish. Yes, you read that right, a flying jellyfish (46)
(Some Guy) Interesting Scientists discover the cause of bar fights: After alcohol exposure, threat-detecting brain circuits can’t tell the difference between threatening and non-threatening behaviors (32)
(New Scientist) Obvious Anthropologist Maurice Bloch explains why religion is "a figment of the human imagination." Your priest wants a second opinion (226)

Tue April 29, 2008
(Some Guy) Silly Fox to release major motion picture based on video game no one has even played (63)
(Wired) Unlikely Matt Damon declines to lend voice and likeness to new Bourne videogame because it's "too violent." So obviously he never cashed those checks for Private Ryan, Syriana, The Departed, and Mr. Ripley, right? (31)
(Charlotte) Dumbass Now that he's played the game, Langston Wertz Jr. gives four stars out of four to GTA:4 (33)
(Cracked) Interesting The seven commandments all video games should obey. Not letting Uwe Boll turn them into movies disturbingly absent (68)
(USA Today) Obvious Museums have a hard time teaching science to a country filled with people who think the Earth was created 5,000 years ago (206)
(Some Guy) Scary How would you feel if your realtor gave the cops a key to your home “just in case?” Well, Microsoft is doing just that (43)
(Geekology) Spiffy Coolest pics of a 3,800HP motorcycle you'll see all day (11)
(Popular Mechanics) Unlikely With gas prices climbing, GM suddenly remembers vintage gas engine technology that could've had us running farther and cleaner over 30 years ago (43)
(DSL reports) Hero Hot Belgian woman offers sex if you support network neutrality (w/ pic) (57)
(C|Net) Interesting XP update delayed over glitch. Will release service pack once they have this whole stapler incident resolved (31)
(Wired) Interesting You know that friend who tried absinthe in Europe and claimed it was sooo awesome? Scientists now say your friend is a liar (77)
(Valleywag) Video Scientists create self-regenerating robot that's obviously going to kill us all (33)
(The Raw Story) Cool The property-rights-loving head of San Diego's GOP founded a warez group during the 80s and peddled video-game-console copiers (57)
(CTV) Interesting Apple announces iPhones to be sold in Canada after agreeing to alter the codecs to insert "eh" after every third word (42)
(News.com.au) Interesting Scientists find "legless lizard." Psssst... guys, those are called "snakes" (114)
(Kotaku) Followup That game you were looking forward to playing when you got home from work, maybe you should wait a week or two. Maybe spend a little bit more time in Vice City (201)
(Mac|Life) Dumbass Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's "Business Leadership and Digital Innovation for Future Graduates" presentation, proudly running on a Mac (with pic) (54)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Scary YouTube caves to Scientologists, gives them own channel (218)
(AFP) Interesting You know that giant squid they caught and froze? The half-ton one with the 30-foot long tenatacles lined with razor-sharp hooks? It was probably the runt of the litter (124)
(Denver Post) Spiffy "Spam King" gets 21 months in federal prison, will become "Sausage King" (45)
(Some Guy) Cool The official "Grand Theft Auto IV" release thread (559)
(iF Magazine) Cool Before you skip school (or work) and pull an all night, Mountain Dew laced bender with the release of "GTA IV," check out the best moments of the "GTA" series so far (with vids) (43)
(BBSpot) Amusing Top 11 problems with having an iron suit. Crotch rust surprisingly absent from list (44)
(Oddee) Cool The top 10 coolest Lego creations you'll see today, including a working difference engine (26)
(New Scientist) Obvious If war ever breaks out in space, it will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it (44)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Israel's military shows off robotic soldier. Army officials hope to avoid having it hit by lightning, lest it go off searching for "input" (173)
(USA Today) Cool First look at the sleestaks of the new "Land of the Lost" movie (81)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Online companies set to feast on $42 billion of revenue left over after the demise of the newspaper industry (19)
(Neatorama) Interesting Meet five people who were doing it wrong (21)
(Kotaku) Cool Bill Murray recording new dialogue for the new upcoming "Ghostbusters" video game (40)
(The New York Times) Interesting The bacterium that causes syphilis evolved into a more benign form because it was making its victims too ugly to have sex with and hindering its own transmission (21)
(Pharyngula) Asinine Molecular biology for Christians. It's just like regular science, but now with 100 percent more Jesus (141)
(American Spectator) Stupid The SmartCar is about the same price as a Yaris, seats only two people, only gets 4 mpg more, and crumples like a wad of Klenex in a 16-year old's hand after discoveing his dad's stash of Penthouse (137)

Mon April 28, 2008
(Science Daily) Scary Today's bone-chilling headline: 'Tiny radio antennas' under skin could act as remote sensors of humans' emotional, physiological state (18)
(Reuters) Interesting Intel teams up with Cray to develop new line of supercomputers, find Sarah Connor (25)
(NASASpaceflight) Scary Small problem develops in the plan to use Russian Soyuz capsules after the shuttle retires - The last two landings nearly killed everyone on board (26)
(Wired) Silly Where is "Tron Guy" now? Attending ROFLCon, of course (24)
(cNet) Unlikely Teh tubes: where Ron Paul is president, "Snakes on a Plane" was the greatest movie evarrr, and Twitter is a raging success (17)
(Yahoo) Interesting Your brain has the RAM equivalent of a Commodore 64. Article may have said some other stuff, too (43)
(Starpulse) Obvious From the "better late than never" file: "'Rock Band' is great fun with friends." As opposed to playing all the instruments together by yourself (63)
(Charlotte) Interesting "Grand Theft Auto" proves, yes Virginia, there is sex in the champagne room (328)
(USA Today) Obvious We've replaced the trauma patients' real blood with a FDA-approved blood-substitute product. Let's see if they noti ..... [ack] ...... [thud] (24)
(ABC News) Obvious Is religion a necessary consequence of imagination? Here comes the science (179)
(CNBC) Interesting AMD has unveiled its first computer brand, aimed at small- and medium-sized businesses, with help from Dell (15)
(London Times) Sad Google's new technology will make image search more accurate, less fun (24)
(Denver Channel) Obvious 4 out of 7 computer repair techs cannot fix unseated RAM. Shockingly, 3 out of 7 could (324)
(Gizmodo) Cool The coolest video of a 1:5 scale A-10 Warthog you'll see this week. Bonus: The real thing shows up, too (41)
(Seattle Times) Obvious People figuring out the only way to get service from Comcast is to whine about it online (104)
(Ars Technica) Ironic UPS employees steal copies of "GTA IV" en route to retailers (146)
(Daily Mail) Scary This week's Daily Mail story about the evils of cannabis is -- shakes magic 8-ball -- "Cannabis is making our teenagers impotent." Won't someone think of the poor horny children? (67)
(The Sun) Obvious German study confirms: Smart women are horrible lays (642)
(Daily Mail) Cool Five hundred years ago, Leonardo da Vinci sketched out a design for a parachute. A few days ago, a Swiss man tested it (22)
(Some Guy) Amusing Geek forum from 1999 speculates and comments on upcoming LOTR movies as cast is announced. Danny DeVito? Perfect Bilbo. Elijah Wood? NOOOOO (34)
(Canada.com) Strange You can now get a "brain pacemaker" that will fight off depression, assuming you don't get depressed at the thought of a foreign machine ticking away in your head (33)
(Stuff) Interesting Largest giant squid ever caught to be defrosted. World's finest calamari chefs on standby (24)
(Some Guy) Cool The 638-horsepower 2009 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 has made a certified 205-mph top-speed run in Papenburg, Germany. Penis (68)

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