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Sun October 01, 2006
Environmentalists "aid destruction of the planet" by opposing nuclear energy. Why do the Greens hate the Earth so?
FDA warns vision loss while using Viagra could lead to blindness
Google buys garage where it all started to preserve their living legacy
Not News: Addicts sue someone. News: Addicts sue their employers. Fark.com: For causing their Crackberry addiction
Remember that teen with the medical microchip inserted in his body 4 years ago? If you scan the chip his medical records will say "dead". Good thing he had that chip put in
As if Office Space didnt teach us anything, 80 per cent of all IT damage comes from within an organization
British Royal Navy spends £200,000 testing out some really, really cool stuff, like carbon fibre mini-submarines capable of being programmed by satellite and robotic patrol dinghy that can hunt down Sarah Connor if she tries to swim for it
Coffins are getting mighty creative these days: Still waiting for the Tupperware one, though
Computer crash at St. Louis police department wipes out record of 6,000 criminal cases. Somebody didn't call for backup
Microsoft's Vista faces delays due to massive amounts of suckage
Hewlett-Packard agrees to pre-install Yahoo spyware and malware thereby cutting out the middle-man. Dell and Google ponder legal action. In related news: Share prices in geeksquad.com go through the roof
Congress gives The Shocker to online gambling companies
Students find that if you send popcorn kernels to 122-thousand feet above the earth, they will pop more efficiently and taste better
Koala scientists testing koala contraceptive despite disapproval of koala pope
Artificial sweetener xylitol believed to cause liver failure in dogs. Your dog wants regular sugar
Astronomers say galaxies appear to practice birth control, and their method is more effective than the thumb of the catcher's mitt that you tried last night
Latest critically-flawed program that you don't want running on your computer is *opens envelope* ... Firefox?
Jet engine-powered laptops are closer than you think to becoming reality
European TV network produces program hosted by two naked people whose target maket is aliens and is being broadcast to a star 45 light years away. Seriously
New service allows you to choose the originator and destination for a text message. What could possibly go wrong ?
Scientists are getting close to creating a vaccine against nicotine addiction. Tobacco companies ready to shift gears, prepare to start lobbying to legalize marijuana
Robber hacks ATM machine with Google's help
In case you're having problems with scuba diving ninjas invading your yacht, company releases first non-military version of its sonar diver detection system, Brock Samson sold separately
Computer program proves that Armstrong used proper grammar when he faked the moon landing
An in-depth look at Virgin Galactic's SpaceShipTwo
Intact soft tissue recovered from six-thousand year old Tyrannosaurus Rex fossil
Scientists create buckyegg, breaking both pentagon and FIFA rules
LiveScience tackles one of the more important questions of our time, "When was beer invented?"
The "science" on "global warming" and the media's propaganda campaign need to be picked apart. An a US Senator is well on the way to do so
"Spaceport America" suffers first setback. James Doohan's ashes unavailable for comment
Sat September 30, 2006
A History of U.S. Medical Experiments: You'll either laugh, or never leave the house again
Computer Games for old people. Your granny wants to frag
New computer system aims to identify criminals by the way they walk. Submitter moonwalks out the back door
Mozilla releases open source media player
Army successfully tests Compact Kinetic Energy Missile (CKEM), magnetic repulser shields next on agenda
Greenpeace urges Apple Computer to make their products more enviornmental friendly, presumably so they can break into the "environmentally-conscious leftist" market
Good: Verizon offers "unlimited" wireless broadband. Bad: They don't tell you it's limited to 5 gigs a month. Fark: If you go over the limit, they cancel your account, accuse you of downloading porn, and charge you $175
Scientists exploit the connection between excessive cleanliness and allergies to product vaccine that cures all major allergies
The University of Texas has been given a grant to build a supercomputer capable of 400 trillion calculations per second, which still isn't enough computing power to predict women's behavior
Japanese develop pre-quake alarm that gives you 20-seconds to duck and cover
People with diabetes might be able to reduce their blood sugar by using a cinnamon extract
South Korea announces plan to deploy robot guards to guard the DMZ and help search for Sarah Connor
Companies develop new machines that convert humidity and hot air into sanitary drinking water. Paris Hilton must literally be a walking water fountain
Cost of capping greenhouse gas emissions estimated at $1,000,000,000,000. Presumably the hippies that are in favor of halting global warming are putting 'For sale' signs on their 1972 Volvos so they can chip in
Chicken feathers to provide clothing. No nicotene, low tar
Fri September 29, 2006
Thu September 28, 2006
Launching the Space Shuttle at night makes the explosion that much better
Dark spot discovered on Uranus
Southern NZ receiving brand spanking new wind turbines producing 58 megawatts, costing $110 million, more big numbers in link
What does music look like? "The Shape of Song" is an attempt to answer this seemingly paradoxical question
(Some Bacteria Guy)
Deinococcus radiodurans bacteria can reassemble it's own DNA, making it impossible to destroy by dehydration or even radiation. Bow to the new overlord
Studies show a direct association between soft drink intake and hyperactivity, and a more complex link with other mental and behavioral disorders when consumed within Norwegian borders
Cut and paste online widgets for your website or blog. Paging Drew
Yet another laptop company recalls batteries. EVERYBODY PANIC
Some guy turns in his frequent flyer miles for a space flight
"Ultimate Game Chair" includes head-mounted speakers, massage vibration, beverage holder. Not included: bidet, shipping to your parents' basement
Get your own 12-foot fibreglass swimming Alien (as in the film) on Ebay. Makes a great chandelier substitute. Did they ever swim in the film though?
Remember years ago when Rare was purchased by Microsoft? And how they've only made three games for an Xbox console? Today you can add No. 4, and it's a doozie. (Gyuh huh)
Top 10 reasons to LOVE Microsoft Zune (they did Hates earlier this week). The screen, the radio, the Wi-Fi, er, the goblins
Chinese are pissed at Japanese. Again. But this time it's over an "insulting" video game, not like, Nanking or Unit 731 or stuff
(The Prometheus Institute)
Two writers debate the merits of cell phones
Offering a ray of hope for those of you who haven't opened an envelope since September, 2001, scientists report progress on anthrax vaccine
Research into 1918 Spanish flu pandemic offers valuable clues as experts prepare for avian flu outbreak. For example, in a pinch, bodies can be buried only five feet deep if you toss a couple shovels of quicklime in with the corpse
(New Zealand Herald)
Peter Jackson will create two Xbox 360 games: neither game will star hobbits, gorillas, or psychotic puppets
(The Cell Freak)
LG: Mine is thinnest... Samsung: No, mine is thinner... LG: No, MINE is thinner... Samsung: No, MINE
Mars Rover Opportunity reaches rim of deep crater. Is taking extra care to avoid nearby banana peel. (With pic)
The Marsden Fund, which gave out $500,000 this year for studies on "the modern orgasm," has its reputation tainted by granting $6 million to members of the judging panel
"After WWII, Germany was stripped of its patents, so Japan began to imitate German products. The 2007 Acura RDX continues this tradition -- it couldn't look more like a BMW X3 if it tried, and by God, it did"
Drinking red wine may help prevent Alzheimer's. Then again, how can you tell a drunk and an Alzheimer's patient apart?
Scientists turn polaritons inside semiconductor structures into Bose-Einstein condensates at temperatures of around minus 260 degrees Celsius, allowing quantum interactions to be observed at macroscopic level
Fossil unveils Bluetooth-enabled wristwatch that serves as caller ID for your cellphone. Like anyone wears wristwatches any more
USS Macon found. If you are wondering what the USS Macon is, think Hindenburg, but over the Pacific and in 1935
Intel offers $1-million bounty for sexiest PC design
Talkster comes out of stealth mode, joining JAJAH and PeerMe to offer free VoIP over your mobile phone data plan. Forget about voice minutes -- from now on, everyone's gonna be data-only
Super-secret stealth bomber not very stealthy with Google Earth. General Curtis LeMay spins in his grave. (With pic)
Some Fugger scientist claims that Multiple Sclerosis symptoms are due to a pair of "angel and devil" genes fighting it out. On your shoulder, dressed as John Belushi, perhaps
Hubble's main camera shuts down
PowerPoint bug opens door to hackers
England's high-pitched alarms, designed to annoy teenagers from loitering, has been adapted to cellphone ringtones and dance music. The System is Down
100-million-year-old fossil of stingray fails to sell at auction; provides media with opportunity to remind us that Steve Irwin is still dead
MySpace well ahead of YouTube as top online distributer of video
Top 10 web tools for college students
New hurricane-measurement system augmenting Saffir-Simpson scale is proposed; would rank big storms from from "windy" to "Bill O'Reilly"
British consumers waste almost £2 billion a year on high-tech gadgets that don't do what they promise to do and end up gathering dust in the closet. Submitter laughs at the stupid Brits through his WebTV interface
Coolest picture of Earth from Saturn you'll see all day
Wed September 27, 2006
A new kind of supernova has been discovered, the brightest ever. Why wasn't this seen before?
Intel unveils eight pounds of security nightmare in a one-pound bag with its new wireless Active Management Technology system
Audi unveils $100,000 R8 supercar, boasts 414hp V8 engine
(Some True Believer)
Marvel Comics announces upcoming MMORPG. You can go ahead and be Wolverine, young'in -- submitter gets to be Galactus
Wii to let you make a Mii, customizable character avatars that you can transfer among games
Quad-core chips on the way from Intel
Apple to Hollywood: Resistance is futile, assimilation is inevitable
Why GPS satellite navigation is the next big leap for mobile phones. Because you can find your own way home when drunk, instead of calling your spouse?
New peacekeeping vehicle has multiple non-lethal methods of approaching hostiles -- but if that fails, they can still just shoot everyone
Nerd at Wired attempts to make fun of nerds who play "World of Warcraft"
How to earn a million from a broken arm... without suing
Scared of the dentist? Dental sedation is safe and affordable, and can put you in a peaceful, vegetative coma
Twenty-five stupid Web 2.0 website names
The real Steve behind Apple computers. This one actually knows something about computers and isn't just a marketing shill
How do you keep an alcoholic from driving? Put an electronic immobiliser on the car... and then have the dog swallow the control chip
The Internet's biggest Google whores
Remember how fun it was to toss out all of your VHS tapes and pay out the nose for the new technology? Now that your nose is healed...here comes the trashman for your DVDs
Microsoft launches MySpace competitor named Wallop that, being from Microsoft, will allow you to catch viruses and be bogged down in updates even more quickly than happens in meatworld relationships
Sympathy for psychopaths? Scientist calls for more compassion and understanding for violent maniacs
The next generation of wireless chips will be able to pick up any type of signal - Wi-Fi, GPS, television, radio, etc. - with nothing more than a software upgrade. Windows Update surrenders
New report finds in-car DVD players pose deadly distraction to drivers. To drivers of adjacent cars, if you want to be precise
You can Fark with your Wii for free, until June 2007
Researchers creating fleet of "intelligent" unmanned vehicles for military use. Sure, they'll hunt down Sarah Connor, but only in their free time
"Quantum Mechanics Made Relatively Simple." Lack of difficulty: Relatively = Relativistic
Britain's super-elite SAS could soon be heading on missions wearing uniforms that turn into a jet when needed (pic)
Slow News Day: The guy who's driven the same Volvo 2 million miles has just passed 4 million kilometers. For those in the United States, that's almost 2.5 million miles. For astronauts, that's almost 5 round-trips to the moon
Tue September 26, 2006
Tempted to sunbathe naked on your apartment roof? Think again - Google Earth is watching(Not safe for work if you have a magnifying glass)
Intel pledges 80 core processor within five years. Gordon Moore goes "what the hell?"
Gigantic ancient cave discovered in national park, could contain new species of cave-adapted invertebrates. Park staff preparing to explore further. What could possibly go WRAAAAGHH IT'S GOT MY LEGS
Researchers have created a map of a mouse brain down to the details of individual cells, discovering they secretly want to take over the world
Comcast blocks access to Google, Gmail. This is what no Net Neutrality looks like
New software lets you pack your PC on your iPod
The weirdest motorized vehicles ever made
Can't wait for the fabled iPod phone?
New technology allows you to send emails that can't be archived, copied, printed or saved. This headline will self-destruct in five seconds
Researchers using virus found in sheep feces to battle bacteria found in cattle intestines. Hopefully, this will come in pill form
(Nukes R Us)
Three out of four elite college grads *want* nuclear power plants in their backyards. Or so says the Institute for Full Employment of Nuclear Engineers. (PDF file)
Mozilla Firefox 2 Release Candidate 1 scheduled for mass consumption today at 3:00 p.m. PST. Are you ready?
Lawsuit filed against makers of "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City," blaming them for murders of three people on New Mexico ranch, even though no cars were stolen and the ranch doesn't resemble Vice City
Now you can drink to your heart's content with this new drug that can repair your liver. Hooray, beer!
111 useful laptop tips
Scientists studing female athletes' legs find estrogen promotes bone development
Microsoft creates social website to rival MySpace in order to complete their world domination plan
Hawaiian crickets evolve, lose ability to chirp in order to avoid disgusting parasitic fly. No intelligent entity would ever design this (with gross SFW pic)
Britain became an island in 24 hours. We can only hope for the same fate for Florida
Watch your favorite movie directly on your favorite t-shirt (video)
New study shows taller women are more likely to drop a deuce than shorter women. Here comes the science
Thirteen myths of genetic engineering
Will Linux die in 2018?
Google launches transit route search tool. Makes it easier to find porn shops on your bus route
Intel works on "touchable holograms," with awesome video goodness
CNBC tests the Lexus LS 460's auto park technology. Look ma, no hands
Scientists to reveal new Mona Lisa secrets, beginning with the fact that the original is hanging in Jimmy the Toucan's living room
LimeWire files suit accusing the RIAA of antitrust violations, consumer fraud and general douchebaggery
Children with Asperger's syndrome often have difficulty making friends because they lack the social aspects of language. If you weren't such a dumbass poopyhead, you'd have figured this out for yourself, dweeb
How to build a pirate cubicle cannon
Behold the Peugeot 908RC concept car, featuring a 700-hp diesel V-12 power plant, and enough room to carry five comfortably in retreat
Discovery that a bizarre particle travels between the real world of matter and the spooky realm of antimatter three trillion times a second may, in fact, melt your face
Mon September 25, 2006
(Winding Road Magazine)
Honda to market fuel-cell vehicle in 2008. Big Three: Move along, nothing to see here
Earth may be at warmest point in one million years. EVERYBODY PANIC
New ChatBot promises to be more intelligent than previous generation. Oh really? You don't say! How do you feel about that?
Spammers turn to subliminal messaging. Yvan eht nioj
Mythbusters try to create worldwide yawn in experiment (with link to YouTube yawn video that does not include Paris Hilton)
High AdSense earners and their revenues
New generation of computer viruses written specifically to spread slowly and avoid detection by security software
New "Dragon Skin" is the first soft body armor rated capable of stopping AK-47 rounds. Army says it sucks and would be good for insurgents but they'll use it anyway. Sword of Sauron sold separately
AOL sued over release of 650,000 users' search histories. The guy with all the queries about "class action suits" was probably the one who initiated it
"You can think of Windows XP as a house with a second floor built of spackle, wood filler and duct tape"
(PC World Canada)
List of the 50 greatest gadgets, and since it's a Canadian list, you be surprised to see that bacon isn't No. 1
Universities see sharp drop in computer science majors, sharp spike in water and soap expenditures
Thankfully, you no longer need to watch Innerspace to see what's going on inside living cells
Microsoft doesn't want help in releasing its patches. Customers should wait until Patch Tuesday or get hacked, whichever comes first
Apple wants to trademark "podcast," sends out cease-and-desist letters. Also considers trademarking the words "frivolous," "lawsuit" and "Steve Jobs sucks"
Olympus camera carved out of a single piece of wood
PS3 games to cost $100
Spy shots of the Ford Mondeo sedan, the car that should have been brought to the States instead of wasting precious money on the all-new Fusion
Dwarf animals that lived on islands thousands of years ago evolved to tiny size due to lack of predators and competitors, not because of limited habitats or the motion in the ocean
AdWords and AdSense, which allow for discreet sidebar advertising, are Google's primary sources of income. In other news, there really is a profit margin in non-invasive advertising
New IM system leaves no log, stymies Big Brother
The Adobe Updater must update itself before it can check for updates. Would you like to update the Adobe Updater now?
Tomorrow's sidewalks will collect rainwater and purify it, reducing flooding. New Yorkers might notice slight urine taste
The high-tech gadgets of Dick Tracey
This week's patent applications include a laser-based microphone and a magnetic memory chip that self-destructs in response to tampering
And the award for best use of Google maps goes to...
Nobel laureate from Stanford argues that we've pretty much figured out everything we're ever going to figure out, so we may as well start building lovebots and relaxing for a change
$100,000 reward offered by Oakley CEO for information about break-in at development compound for anticipated camera that can shoot 12-megapixel images at 60 frames per second
Microsoft opens "High School of the Future" in Philadelphia. Same old wedgies, now broadcast live to millions on the Internets
Actual headline: "New study finds monkeys hate techno, too"
Pentagon tests flying saucers (photos)
Presenting the world's smallest phone, so small that you could actually swallow it
On the five year anniversary of XP, columnist describes it as "as a house with a second floor built of spackle, wood filler and duct tape"
I'll be there in a minute, mom! I just reached level 12, my neutrophils are making a comeback and I just got a double cytokine power up for my macrophages
Japan developing new high-tech missile system that would fix on targets without emitting any detectable radio waves
"Grand Theft Auto" fan steals car. While ignoring the other 19,000+ car thefts this year, media and senators expected to go nuts in three... two... one...
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