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Fri July 30, 2010

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Scientists find chemical "memory" molecule, which is all fine and dandy, but I STILL can't find my friggin' car keys (upi.com)	(9)
		Scientitists measure shortest interval of time ever. Submitter's wife believes otherwise (neatorama.com)	(19)
		Nissan cars will pump breathable vitamin C to moisturize skin. Insert joke here about your mom in the back seat doing it a different way (dailymail.co.uk)	(6)
		E. Coli has been reengineered to make a more convenient drop-in for a new biofuel. Until it mutates, at which point we're all f*cked (newscientist.com)	(7)

Thu July 29, 2010

	You know the 'Tri'ceratops? Yeah, never existed. God was just f*cking with scientists again (boingboing.net)	(158)
	YouTube decreases the number of parts a pirated sitcom needs to broken into from three to two (physorg.com)	(59)
	What happens when you mix sci-fi with burlesque? Full-frontal nerdity (aolnews.com)	(57)
(Art of Manliness)	Fourteen classic man-caves: From Hemingway's to Carnegie's. Bonus: Not a slideshow (artofmanliness.com)	(73)
(Some Guy)	New contraceptive makes females smell "wrong" to potential mates. Here comes the science...well, maybe not (sciencenews.org)	(32)
	Plankton, base of ocean food web, is in decline. Eugene Krabs unavailable for comment (news.yahoo.com)	(35)
	For only $34,000 you can buy a video game that teaches your snowflake abstinence, or you could just spend 50 bucks, buy them World of Warcraft and let nature take its course (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(90)
	Global warming "undeniable" say scientists who have clearly never read Fark (cbc.ca)	(313)
	Nintendo posts first loss in two years on news you can only sell so many consoles without making any must-have games for it (bloomberg.com)	(154)
(Mainichi)	After seeing wide range of liquors offered at party, Japanese scientists discover that dipping iron compound in wine or sake turns it into superconductor. "Sake has a mysterious power" (mdn.mainichi.jp)	(27)
	New study from a bunch of nerds--that absolutely no one is buying--claims that frequent sex causes brain growth (news.yahoo.com)	(22)
	"Basically, as the universe expands, time is converted into space, and mass is converted into length. As the universe contracts, the opposite occurs" (physorg.com)	(61)
(Some Guy)	Activision apparently took lessons from Microsoft (gameinformer.com)	(73)
	Windows-based ATM hack gives cash on demand (networkworld.com)	(88)
	IPhone 4's FaceTime video chat gains traction because of: a). Girlfriends showing off new haircuts. b). Deployed soldiers looking at ultrasounds of their unborn children. c). Porn (washingtonpost.com)	(116)
	Five of the coolest ways of setting fire to things that you'll see today (techeblog.com)	(19)
	News: 100 million facebook users have their personal information hacked and put in a file. Fark: MSNBC posts the story, tells what site it's on and puts up a screenshot of the file description on the site (msnbc.msn.com)	(104)
	Scientists have created room-temperature ice for some goddamn reason (labspaces.net)	(77)
	Styrofoam packing peanuts are being replaced with mushrooms. Keep that in mind the next time you order a ten-foot tall purple bat-winged fire breathing llama from Amazon (mnn.com)	(59)
	How shape-shifting dinosaurs deceived us. Larry King currently morphing to new form (newscientist.com)	(22)
	Where does one keep their $5 billion dollar car collection? Why, a five-aircraft-hangars-large garage with its own "Mercedes wing," of course (jalopnik.com)	(55)
	For 20 years, scientists working on an isolated tiny island chain have been keeping a daily log of their dreams (sfgate.com)	(47)

Wed July 28, 2010

(Some Batman)	DC Comics, Converse have teamed up to make it easier for women to spot virgins (digitalspy.com)	(40)
	Nine cool sci-fi ideas that have come true (abcnews.go.com)	(54)
	Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine are doing their best to try and plug Wookieleaks, which has been busy releasing controversial documents about the Empire's war with the Rebel Alliance (io9.com)	(61)
(Edmonton Journal)	One of history's most important ships, lost for 155 years, found thanks to global warming. Suck Al Gore. Suck it long and hard (edmontonjournal.com)	(50)
	Video of a ride through the upper atmosphere, filmed on a Nexus One (io9.com)	(24)
	Michael Jackson lookalike zombies removed from video game. Too soon? (g4tv.com)	(32)
(Aggrogate)	Dragon Quest 9: Imagine an old-school RPG as written by an insane computer that loves puns and doesn't understand human emotion. "Oh dear, I seem to be dead" (aggrogate.com)	(55)
(Mashable)	How is Faccebok formed? (mashable.com)	(22)
	800-year mystery of Pisa's leaning tower solved (telegraph.co.uk)	(30)
	Scientist hopes to develop fuel cell that uses urine as an energy source to be used to power music festivals and other outdoors events where the fuel's plentiful (sciencedaily.com)	(35)
(The American)	Scientists yesterday: "Here are our findings." Scientists today: "Here are our findings, and you must change your life and do exactly what we tell you to" (american.com)	(230)
(Some Guy)	That's because the construct of Time is a product of evolution (psychologytoday.com)	(49)
(Some Star Wars Geek)	If you have any of this stuff in your kitchen, chances are you're cooking alone (blogs.dallasobserver.com)	(32)
	AT&T denies that it intends to interfere with Black Hat demo that shows how to (networkworld.com)	(13)
	Botnet hacker caught in Slovenia, will be de-rezzed. End of line (bbc.co.uk)	(22)
(Some Guy)	Facebook "hacked," 100 million pages leaked online (thinq.co.uk)	(53)
	Apple still releasing updates for a perfect operating system (theinquirer.net)	(79)
	Seven keymasters hold the power to restart the internet, bring forth Gozer (gawker.com)	(37)
	Top ten............. states........... with slow.......... est........ internet....... conn................ections (buffering) (huffingtonpost.com)	(82)
	Gamestop buys flash game site Kongregate. Now every time you go to play a flash game you will be asked to purchase a strategy guide, whether you want to play a used copy and to pre-order something else (news.cnet.com)	(56)
	Could Apple's next product spell "the death of the traditional mouse?" Probably not (newscientist.com)	(175)
	Build a better raygun, and the Pentagon will beat a path to your door (wired.com)	(20)
(A salt n' battery)	Long promised 'miracle battery' finally hits the market: 6,000 deep cycles with minimal capacity loss, and 90% charging in 5 minutes. First application? Powering the army of flying pigs set to invade the frozen wastelands of hell (gizmag.com)	(128)
	Annual survey finds the least healthiest state for kids is Mississippi. The good news is that Mississippi kids are so fat they are undesirable to teachers and priests (msnbc.msn.com)	(78)
	Panasonic unveils 3D camcorder. So why wait for 3D pr0n to come out when you can make your own starring subby's mom? (news.smh.com.au)	(43)
	A world without mosquitoes? It's more likely than you think (nature.com)	(157)
	If you've ever wanted to know what would happen if a zebra farked a donkey, wait no longer (news.yahoo.com)	(74)

Tue July 27, 2010

	Five words: Chewbacca. Fighting Nazis. On a squirrel. Okay, six words, but that's really not important right now (huffingtonpost.com)	(30)
	Common ailments that alcohol can't cure, please step forward. Not so fast, rheumatoid arthritis (bbc.co.uk)	(18)
	Attention, humans, meet your true genetic ancestor: The Segmented Worm. SUCK IT CREATIONISTS (io9.com)	(62)
	Study finds people with more social relationships live longer than those that don't? Baloney. I've survived for six years with no human contact other than Fark and I feel just f (pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com)	(30)
(Some Machead)	Lawsuit against Apple claims that iPads get hot when left in direct sunlight. Suits claiming that iPhones get cold when left in the freezer and MacBooks get wet when left out in the rain still pending (appleinsider.com)	(36)
	A chart converting Earth Time to a standardized Metric Time, because why the hell not? (io9.com)	(52)
(some Bicentennial Guy)	Last.fm's robots.txt, Asimov style (last.fm)	(29)
	Google's master plan for world domination. (do not erase) Includes weather control, remaking Babylon 5, and hiring Richard Branson (io9.com)	(50)
	New robot glider can land on power lines like a bird and recharge itself, will also poop on your car out of spite (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(18)
	How Mars can turn into Earth. These movies never end well (gizmodo.com)	(82)
(Some Twit)	Twitter to embed photos and videos in the stream. So instead of just knowing what random strangers are eating for dinner, now you can actually watch them eat it (mashable.com)	(16)
	Ask.com, formerly Ask Jeeves, reverts to Q&A format in attempt to stay relevant in search-engine market. In other news, Ask.com is still around (bits.blogs.nytimes.com)	(41)
	Really, the web monitoring we're doing is totally anonymous and safe. Besides, only this Chinese company has access to the info we've gathered. What could possibly go wrong (yro.slashdot.org)	(11)
	The Mughals had Voltron way before we did (io9.com)	(13)
	"In some places after it's rained, the Chesapeake Bay is six times dirtier than the unflushed john." No wonder your dog wants to drink out of it (washingtonpost.com)	(28)
	Prions can arise spontaneously in the human brain, causing brain damage, death, or, more alarmingly, a liking for Uwe Boll movies (sciencedaily.com)	(41)
	"Our earliest animal ancestor probably had no head, tail, or sexual organs, and lay immobile on the sea floor like a door mat." Kinda like subby's ex-wife (nytimes.com)	(37)
	Caravaggio painting turns out not to be a real Caravaggio painting but still pretty awesome (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)	(21)
	Rick Romero reports that iPad owners are categorized as 'Selfish Elites' (wired.com)	(203)
(TechDirt)	Smart: Aussie newspaper producing version of paper for iPad. Dumbass: In order to get it, you pay to have the dead tree version delivered to your house (techdirt.com)	(3)
	Turns out the LHC won't answer the questions scientists want answered. Solution? A bigger, better collider. "It is absolutely vital that we have that mode of operation, so that we can understand what we discover" (cbc.ca)	(39)
(Some Guy)	Activision: "Blizzard's culture hasn't changed at all since we merged with them" (gamerzines.com)	(219)
	Ryan Reynolds recites the Lantern Corps Oath for an adorable little fan (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(73)
(Bruce Willis)	OMG We're all going to... be dead when this happens - Asteroid might collide with Earth in 2182 (eurekalert.org)	(125)
	If it's on your iPad then no one can tell what you're reading. You could be reading Plato. Or 'Blonde and Wet, the Complete Story' (myfoxdc.com)	(70)
	Microsoft is excited about their new ad slogan for 2010: "Be what's next." It just narrowly edged out their second choice: "ctrl-alt-delete" (huffingtonpost.com)	(153)
	New study reveals humans have a form of Vulcan Mind-Meld all their own (newscientist.com)	(35)
	Abe Vigoda and lemon-related celebrations notswithstanding, here's a one-page slideshow of the world's oldest living things back to back, and who photographed them (cnn.com)	(17)
	This is Obama's "E.T. for the Atari 2600" (xbox360.ign.com)	(128)
(Some Guy)	Safe: Target, Starbucks, and Bank of America. Gonna kill you: Whole Foods, WalMart, Safeway, McDonald's, CVS, KFC, and the U.S. Postal Service (ewg.org)	(126)

Mon July 26, 2010

	Scientists have finally succeeded in determining where the Higgs boson isn't (guardian.co.uk)	(63)
	Powerful gaming video cards can create far clearer CT images with less radiation, still can't run Crysis on "Extreme" (labspaces.net)	(41)
	Skynet one step closer to replacing us altogether (npr.org)	(14)
	The largest rat that ever lived has been found.....and it's not a politician (foxnews.com)	(44)
	UAE declare the BlackBerry, Women's Rights threats to national security (news.yahoo.com)	(22)
	Hope and change: US Government allows jailbreaking iPhones, bypassing CSS encryption on DVDs, and cracking e-books for personal use (arstechnica.com)	(87)
	Having thumbs and making stone tools helped humans evolve into the intelligent, reasoning creatures lounging on the couch covered in chip crumbs and watching Springer that we are today (npr.org)	(40)
(Some Guy)	The Atlantic gets some Geek tab in their Politics tab: Are Jedi knights libertarian or socialist? (theatlanticwire.com)	(97)
	The dates are off, but at least scientists are now admitting an "Eden" (news.com.au)	(228)
	A map of the invasion of America that never was (io9.com)	(128)
(PopMatters)	'Batwoman: Elegy' is a comic masterpiece about an openly gay superhero. Batwoman lives, much to the chagrin of Gotham's criminal underworld and the conservative commentariat (popmatters.com)	(121)
	If you want to feel really old today, then join me in wishing the Commodore Amiga a happy 25th birthday (news.yahoo.com)	(89)
(Guédelon)	Since 1997 a group of fifty artisans in France have been practicing reverse archaeology, by building a 13th century castle using period materials and techniques and are almost at the half way mark.. w/vid (guedelon.fr)	(85)
	Covering the important and pressing issues of our day: Should Facebook add a dislike button? It's not news, it's CNN (cnn.com)	(59)
	Turns out, those private browsing sessions aren't that private (newscientist.com)	(51)

Sun July 25, 2010

	If you've always thought Apple fanboys were a lot like relgious fanatics, you weren't wrong. Here comes the science (theatlantic.com)	(185)
	Wil Wheaton + Felicia Day + Romance Novel art = ? (flickr.com)	(148)
	Study shows dogs more likely to sneak food when you're not watching. You're dog already has your steak (newscientist.com)	(56)
(Some Guy)	What do you get if you cross a '71 Pinto engine with a custom chopper? I don't know what to call it, but this guy has one up for sale. Oregon: it's like Florida with trees and mountains (salem.craigslist.org)	(80)
(Some Guy shooting blanks)	Wi-Fi radiation may affect male fertility (w/ pic of man who's not going to have any children although that's got nothing to do with Wi-Fi) (digitaljournal.com)	(63)
	Treehouse? What treehouse? (green.yahoo.com)	(30)

Sat July 24, 2010

	The inventor of the "black box" flight recorder has run out of tape (nola.com)	(41)
(Apple Insider)	Apple launches multi-million-dollar campaign attacking other phone manufacturers. Because apparently that's cheaper than, you know, fixing a flawed design (appleinsider.com)	(337)
	Gene may determine bullying response - especially if Gene is much bigger than you and has friends (upi.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)	Blogger rants over new Medal of Honor game, where the Taliban and Al-Qaeda are playable multiplayer teams. Playing as other evil organizations and killing innocents in other games apparently still A-OK (destructoid.com)	(89)
	Five more reasons Terminators are more likely than you think (cracked.com)	(34)
(Some Guy)	"Halo: Reach" is awesome and will be released September 14th, which incidentally is the same release date of Duke Nukem: Forever (gameranx.com)	(79)
	"Star Wars: The Concert" features an 85-member symphony orchestra, a 60-voice choir, a 3 story movie screen, and the whole thing is narrated by C-3PO. Excuse me while I have a nerdgasm (npr.org)	(48)
	A history of mass extinctions on Earth (io9.com)	(60)
	There could be entire universes inside black holes in our universe. And our universe could be inside a black hole of another universe. And that universe... Dude, when you say "universe" enough times it stops sounding like a word (newscientist.com)	(55)
	Massive sunspot can be seen with naked eye, but only once (networkworld.com)	(24)
(Tech Crunch)	Firefox finally perfects tabbed browsing, borrows heavily from Apple's Expose (techcrunch.com)	(88)
	Can smoking pot cause Schizophrenia? No, of course not. Well okay, yes, actually sorta. NO stop talking you're just trying to confuse them. Of course I am, how else can I jam their mind control brain wave transmissions? (news.yahoo.com)	(93)
	You know that feeling you get when you're on a rollercoaster and you suddenly plunge down a hill at break-neck speed? That's what it feels like to a caterpillar everytime it takes a step (mnn.com)	(10)
	We're running out of tubes for the internets. EVERYBODY PANIC (cnn.com)	(137)
	New study says insecure people are at a higher risk for heart attacks. Hey, why are you looking at me? Do these jeans make me look fat? (msnbc.msn.com)	(6)
	Tropical storm Bonnie has now weakened as it crosses Florida. Meteorologist say the storm would've been far more violent had it combined with tropical storm Clyde (bloomberg.com)	(9)
	Barbie now comes equipped with a video camera inside her chest (consumerist.com)	(16)
	Old and Busted: Blu-Ray. New Hotness: Purp-Ray (gizmodo.com)	(55)
	The Shah of Iran's ridiculous car collection is now the National Car Museum of Iran, because that's what Iran needs, a national car museum (jalopnik.com)	(46)

Fri July 23, 2010

	It appears that within the next 48 hours at Comic Con a Wonder Woman movie is going to be announced for 2013, with David Goyer attached to write, direct, or possibly both (io9.com)	(63)
	(TFer) Phil Plait's Bad Universe, no donut (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(117)
	Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters announced, not a porn parody (g4tv.com)	(29)
	Now the science behind how one jellyfish stung over 100 people. Still doesn't compare to the snake that bit over 400,000 people last month in Cleveland (livescience.com)	(25)
	Another side effect of Ambien: sleep-emailing (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(56)
(Some Guy)	Problem: Starcraft 2 sucks. Solution: Ban game-reviews (rockpapershotgun.com)	(250)
	'Pristine' meteorite impact crater discovered using Google Earth (upi.com)	(30)
	Bungie is so lazy, they created this gigantic world that you can customize any way you want, just so they don't have to do it themselves. Oh, wait (g4tv.com)	(51)
	The very last roll of Kodachrome has been processed, forever ending unique photographic technique, Paul Simon-based Fark headlines (wired.com)	(48)
	China to Google: "We love your Android. We love it even more without Google Search, or Google Android Marketplace, or any of your other services. Thanks for the free phone" (arstechnica.com)	(28)
(Some Graphic Designer)	How to make a Daft Punk helmet in 17 months (with video) (whatthecool.com)	(26)
	Accused spyware sender to fellow town official: I didn't do it ... and, if I did do it, I'm too good to have gotten caught by the likes of your "IT guy" (networkworld.com)	(16)
	Introducing Cornucopia, the food printer. Now print me some more Cheezburgerizzaitos (physorg.com)	(29)
(PopMatters)	"Limbo" is a dressed down, silent era netherworld fantasy game with nary a word to be seen outside a "Citizen Kane"-esque neon sign (popmatters.com)	(48)
	Girl Geeks are finding their moment in the sun, which cannot be good for their pasty white skin (usatoday.com)	(397)
	Robot walks 14 miles. Proclaimers unimpressed (thesun.co.uk)	(60)
	Giant balls discovered in space. Get the Spaceballs T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal. Maybe even the Spaceballs flamethrower (cbc.ca)	(46)
	Sometimes it's better to spit than swallow (nytimes.com)	(17)
	Australian government censors plans to require ISPs to store "ce█tain intern█t act█vit█es of all Au█trali█ns". Wow, they must be sensitive ██cu██nts (smh.com.au)	(64)