FARK.com: Showbiz links -- Archives for 2009-10-11

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Sun October 11, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Congratulations on your writing Emmy for "Mad Men". Oh, and you're fired (news-briefs.ew.com)	(67)
		Jennifer Garner will not act in any movie her husband Ben Affleck directs. Guess she saw "Gone, Baby, Gone" (contactmusic.com)	(80)
		"Good Eats" guy Alton Brown looks back on ten years and 200+ episodes. "There are only 20 or 30 tenets of basic cooking." What does the future hold? In a word, "Repeats." (npr.org)	(87)
		Poorly reviewed comedy "Couples Retreat" takes the weekend box office, proving once again that moviegoers either don't pay attention to reviews or are masochists (variety.com)	(63)
(Some Guy)		John Landis, Simon Pegg, and the Doctor are teaming up for a comedy about graverobbers (darkhorizons.com)	(32)
		Megan Fox claims her character will not have a dramatic death in the next movie because the writers won't kill her off. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact she cannot act dramatically (contactmusic.com)	(30)
(The Lost Boy)		El-cheapo scare flick "Paranormal Activity" earn double its budget - on every screen it plays on (blogs.indiewire.com)	(75)
		Last Tucson drive-in movie closes. For you younger Farkers, that's where horny kids got off before "sexting" (azstarnet.com)	(33)
		"Wars" vs. "Trek", 2009: Who's winning? (denverpost.com)	(134)
		Five TV shows that need to be put out of their misery (blog.newsweek.com)	(157)
(Some Guy)		Meredith Vieira: "I'm an old, horny woman." Submitter surrenders (sayanythingblog.com)	(121)
		Perez Hilton says T-mobile Sidekick outage has "affected his ability to work" (pcworld.com)	(88)

Sat October 10, 2009

	Roger Ebert on why he can never get rid of a book. Would have earned the Hero tag, except Subby scoffs at his measly 4,000 volumes (blogs.suntimes.com)	(84)
	Five movie villains so charismatic they end up winning you over in the end (cinematical.com)	(195)
	Miley Cyrus quits Twitter, world ends (sfgate.com)	(50)
	"Top 50 scariest movies of all time." Complaints about how the writers of the list are morons and don't know what the hell they're doing (like #48 here) start to your right (boston.com)	(248)
	Star of recently cancelled, but not recently aired, Southland is "pissed" at NBC. Join the club pal, join the club (ausiellofiles.ew.com)	(25)
	The best cop show from the 60s is making a comeback. Good luck writing a better theme song (hollywoodreporter.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)	J.J. Abrams wants to bring back original cast members Peter Graves and Leonard Nimoy for "Mission Impossible 4." However, Martin Landau says Abrams's not worthy to smell his shiat (collider.com)	(63)
	Not News: Amy Winehouse checked into a health clinic. Fark: For a 32D boob job (thesun.co.uk)	(72)
(Some Guy)	Tara Reid has decided to pose nude for Playboy (gabbybabble.celebuzz.com)	(134)
	Spike lists the 10 Creepiest Commercial Mascots. How creepy are they? The undead Billy Mays didn't make the cut (spike.com)	(93)
	Top 10 movie shoots from hell. Martin Sheen approved (cnn.com)	(50)
	Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are distant cousins. How do you like them apples? (usatoday.com)	(41)
	Billy Mays' son thanks Trey Parker and Matt Stone on morning radio show: "South Park did my family proud" (tmz.com)	(85)
	Good news: Nelly Furtado wants to pose for Playboy. Bad news: when she's 40 and washed up (contactmusic.com)	(74)

Fri October 09, 2009

		FlashForward is suffering from a problem so serious and so predictable they should have known it from the start: the premise of the show is so paradoxical that there's no room for character drama as they struggle to explain everything (nj.com)	(71)
		Tori Spelling is firing back at tabloids that say she's too skinny to the point of sickness. Well...she is. (W/pic of either Spelling or a palm tree) (contactmusic.com)	(39)
		Kevin Smith (on his new book): The contents are just sickening and filthy. As you keep going through the book it's like you're wading through bodily fluids, constantly. It's coming out of this orifice or that orifice. It's dirty (shelf-life.ew.com)	(46)
		Turns out, doing a straight adaptation of David Foster Wallace's work was a mistake, because the movie is 16 hours long, ends too suddenly and has the most interminable credits in history (guardian.co.uk)	(51)
		YouTube reaches 1 billion hits a day, one-third of them on anime clips, one-third on hot girls teasing you, and the remaining third on remixes of Good Charlotte songs (mirror.co.uk)	(48)
		That Disney's 'Opposite Day' can be called 'high-concept', 'original,' and 'comedy' is precisely what's wrong with Hollywood (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(34)
		"Southland" goes south... six feet under, to be precise (starpulse.com)	(85)
		"Harry Potter" actor playing Dudley Dursley freaks out producers by showing up on set slim and attractive (w/ pic). Blames his grandfather Doctor Who (telegraph.co.uk)	(115)
		Dennis Miller on why Fox News is so wildly popular: "They are an absolute genius at hiring women who are beautiful, but even smarter than they are beautiful" (foxnews.com)	(248)
		Jay Leno and Kate Gosselin team up to bring you "The Death of Comedy As You Know It" (examiner.com)	(53)
		David Hasselhoff goes on drunken bender in London, punches doctor, and gets hospitalized. Takes plane back home, gets ready for next weekend (tmz.com)	(17)
		Thug lifestyle hammered by the recession: "Now we goin' to the strip club just to eat" (examiner.com)	(57)
		Lindsay Lohan's family planning an intervention, or as the rest of us call it, 2010 (starpulse.com)	(48)
		Five classic moments in British comedy that would never happen under the BBC's new era of "political correctness" (telegraph.co.uk)	(58)
		In November, Simpsons' fans get their ultimate question and prayers answered (ca.eonline.com)	(137)

Thu October 08, 2009

	Top 50 animated films of all time, compiled and commented on by Terry Gilliam (slashfilm.com)	(251)
(Cap'n Carl)	Did anyone notice that Pee Wee Herman is coming back? (ticketmaster.com)	(90)
	Happy 60th birthday, Sigourney Weaver. Fighting off aliens in those white panties will forever be burned in our minds (dlisted.com)	(97)
	Eddie Murphy opts out of the Richard Pryor biopic, decides to take on more rewarding and fulfilling projects such as comedies in which he plays multiple characters and wears fat suits (chud.com)	(63)
	Because the "Spider-Man" movie franchise is not unlike a horse that broke its leg, it's only right that the guy who wrote and directed "Seabiscuit" will be in charge of the upcoming "Venom" movie (variety.com)	(68)
	Herta Mueller upsets Dan Brown to receive the Nobel Prize in Literature (news.yahoo.com)	(41)
	Andrew Lloyd Webber's long-awaited sequel, "The Phantom Menace of the Opera," to debut in London next year (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)	(48)
	"Couples Retreat" is repetitive and overlong. "Couples Retreat" is repetitive and overlong. "Couples Retreat" is repetitive and overlong. "Couples Retreat" is repetitive and overlong (starpulse.com)	(84)
	Chevy Chase is amazed that his new TV series is actually receiving GOOD reviews: "I don't believe I've ever had a good review, through all 50 movies, or whatever it was" (blogs.chron.com)	(89)
	JOHN HURT IS NOT AN ANIMAL. HE IS A HUMAN BEING WHO WILL BE HONORED FOR HIS CINEMATIC ACHIEVEMENTS AT THE LONDON FILM FESTIVAL (contactmusic.com)	(59)
	Woman claims to have been groped and forced to "be in the same room with a completely naked live man" during a therapy session. Long story short, it's just another Tuesday at Dr. Phil's (contactmusic.com)	(34)
	Apparently in Australia, a group of doctors dancing around in blackface pretending to be the Jackson 5 is still a perfectly normal thing to see on Saturday night television (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk)	(96)
	Is Pixar's Up this generation's Bambi? (denofgeek.com)	(131)
	The Godfather and its sequels are the classic films Britons are the most likely to claim to have seen without actually watching the movies. Except for Godfather 3, nobody would ever admit to watching that (upi.com)	(62)
(Some Guy)	New reality show for drummers offers them the chance to be the next great drumming name, like Tito Puente or ... um, Ringo Starr or, errr, that guy who hangs around with the musicians in that band - you know the one (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)	(101)
	Hayden Panettiere thinks that a crazy fan will really believe she's indestructable and try to assault her. Whatever, just pose nude or do a sex tape already (contactmusic.com)	(112)
(Some Guy)	You know, I woke up this morning and said, "Man, I wish Chevy Chase had made another Vacation movie." And lo, my wish is granted (killerreviews.com)	(64)

Wed October 07, 2009

	What's dumber: that Hollywood is making a bioepic about Richard Pryor, or that it will star Marlon Wayans? (imdb.com)	(58)
	You know, I woke up this morning and said, "Man, I wish Chevy Chase had made another Fletch movie." And lo, my wish is granted (contactmusic.com)	(83)
	Hugh Jackman has overtaken Brad Pitt as the star most men wish to look like. In related news, Brad Pitt gives serious consideration to adamantium claw implants (contactmusic.com)	(86)
(Chronicle.com)	Harvard professor set to become PBS rockstar after his legendary "Justice" megacourse gets translated into 12-episode public television documentary (chronicle.com)	(39)
	Its that time of year again. The leaves are changing, there's a nip in the air and some paper is claiming Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are secretly getting back together (dailymail.co.uk)	(30)
	Protesters cause enough of a fracas to temporarily shut down production on a film adaptation of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "Memories of My Melancholy Whores" because it involves child prostitution. IT'S A GODDAMNED MOVIE, PEOPLE (contactmusic.com)	(45)
	Vince Vaughn suspects that men become yoga instructors in order to dry-hump women. Lotus think about this career path for awhile (contactmusic.com)	(53)
	Kelly Clarkson spotted with a salad. Which she fed to a steer that she then slaughtered, grilled, and ate (pic) (dailymail.co.uk)	(195)
	Jude Law's "Hamlet" falls somewhere between "to see" and "not to see" (people.com)	(38)
	Well if Justin's grandmother says its true, it must be true (mirror.co.uk)	(23)
(SFFMedia.com)	Science fiction authors fight for literary respectability, with a claim it's all about "rockets, chemicals and talking squids in outer space" (sffmedia.com)	(204)
	Archie Andrews set to marry Betty now in parallel Riverdale universe. Young and old Spock raise eyebrows (canada.com)	(42)
	Twenty-six TV favorites that were cancelled far too quickly. And yes, Firefly fans, your poorly written show is on there too (ew.com)	(306)
(HitFix)	Adrien Brody realizes Diet Coke commercials aren't enough to pay the bills and campaigns and wins the role of primary alien killer in 'Predators' (hitfix.com)	(81)

Tue October 06, 2009

	Matt Groening will not continue to dilute The Simpsons franchise by making another movie--yet. However, there will still be another unbelievably bad season next fall (variety.com)	(101)
	Roland Emmerich's 2012 recut without special FX allows you to focus on the important things, like John Cusack yelling 'Look out' (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(73)
	The writers of Transformers 2 will not return to write Transformers 3, too busy writing Star Trek 12 (slashfilm.com)	(61)
	Even the most ardent Joss Whedon fanboys may not be able to save "Dollhouse," mainly because they're the only ones home on Friday night to watch it (io9.com)	(114)
	Michael Lohan would like to clarify that Lindsay is not a crackhead but a pillhead. There's a difference, so get it straight (celebitchy.com)	(35)
(LA Weekly)	PETA to protest "The Jay Leno Show" because McDonald's is a sponsor, as opposed to most other Americans who are protesting "The Jay Leno Show" because it blows (blogs.laweekly.com)	(38)
	In Broadway show, Carrie Fisher says Jennifer and Angelina are modern-day equivalent of Eddie Fisher leaving mom Debbie Reynolds for Elizabeth Taylor, claims to have turned her husband gay: "Yes, I'm a biatch" (celebitchy.com)	(52)
	Craig Ferguson weighs in on his late night boss's troubles. "If I inadvertently say something which gets me fired, then I hope it's funny" (eonline.com)	(98)
	Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay: "I'm insane or stupid. I can't figure out which." How about a little of both, Tom? (nydailynews.com)	(69)
(Ink KC)	Margaret Cho and anal bleaching. You're welcome (inkkc.com)	(101)
	Guns N' Roses are being sued by some musicians who claim the band stole tracks for Chinese Democracy. Thats one long-ass heist (nydailynews.com)	(27)
	Kate Moss had a fight with her boyfriend Jamie Hince over a man in a thong singing Journey (nypost.com)	(15)
	Anne Heche keeps her kids away from her mom because her mom now teaches people how to "overcome" homosexuality. Ironic tag asplodes (starpulse.com)	(103)
(Wrestling-Radio)	WWE Diva's breast implant pops during match on Monday Night Raw (wrestling-radio.com)	(160)
(SLO Tribune)	Tonight's "wait, what?" Celebrity Madlibs news item: a PARKED CAR is hit by a SMALL PLANE at HEARST RANCH with JIM BELUSHI on board, as witnessed by BROOKE SHIELDS (sanluisobispo.com)	(25)
(MEDIAite)	Fox News has more viewers at 3am than CNN gets at 8pm. Who knew all the smart employed people, boot-strappy small business owners, and freedom loving trickle-down executives got by on 2 hours of sleep? (mediaite.com)	(132)

Mon October 05, 2009

		Finally, the sequel we've all been waiting for (dlisted.com)	(73)
		If Comcast merges with NBC and becomes a part owner of Hulu, a site they hate with the burning heat of a million suns, they'll slap on a charge to view shows so fast your head will spin (latimes.com)	(94)
		Spencer Pratt gives dating advice to Brad and Angelina, Perez Hilton, and you (advice.nerve.com)	(49)
		I didn't want to wake up tied to a tree, being invited to squeal like a little piggy for the entertainment of a 20-year-old psychopath in giant dungarees (timesonline.co.uk)	(71)
		From Neidermeyer to the condescending mayor on Mad Men, Mark Metcalf is the character actor extraordinaire (popwatch.ew.com)	(57)
		Kate Gosselin says Jon took $230,000 from account. Hey, those el douchebago supremo Ed Hardy shirts aren't cheap (msnbc.msn.com)	(174)
		After almost 70 years, Gourmet magazine is slated to disappear faster than a tri-tip roast with sun-dried tomato and roasted-pepper relish (mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com)	(44)
		Angelina gives the world a look at the twins. (With full frontal pics) (dailymail.co.uk)	(56)
		Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane is as good at picking up girls as he is making people laugh (second-to-last item) (nydailynews.com)	(129)
		A whale's skull, a heap of dust and a construction worker's naked ass make shortlist for this year's Turner Prize. In related news, modern art is out of ideas and they've stopped caring who knows it (google.com)	(39)
		Candy Spelling had neck surgery and is in a full body cast. (With pic of what that might look like) (tmz.com)	(18)
		Kevin Smith has to be high on pot to make films. And you'd have to be high to "enjoy" them (nypost.com)	(92)
		Monty Python is no longer funny because you need to be vaguely educated to understand the jokes (independent.co.uk)	(218)
		If the latest trailer is any indication, the real disaster in the upcoming '2012' is the movie itself. "It almost looks like an cartoon" (dailymail.co.uk)	(196)