(Some Guy)		Worker dies at Justin Timberlake's golf course, ruled a track hole malfunction	(3)
		Jennifer Hudson's fiance wants to be a fake wrestler in the WWE. Seriously, hasn't this poor girl been through enough already?	(14)
(Dose.ca)		Chris Brown under investigation for alleged battery of a woman who may or may not be Rihanna. Wow. And we thought WE hated that "Umbrella" song	(38)
		Bale actually did Hollywood a favor; DP is a notorious DB	(67)
		Ah, ha, ha, ha, Robin Gibb is strayin' alive, strayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, strayin' alive with the live-in housekeeper 26 years his junior	(41)
		Long before 'The Office' he played guitar in The Grass Roots. Happy birthday Creed Bratton	(47)
(Who?)		"And they were never heard from again." It's not a ghost story, it's what happened to about half of "The Daily Show" alumni. On second thought is IS a ghost story	(62)
(Some baby website)		Rick Astley on his daughter, Emilie: "I have been very aware of the fact that it's uncool for your dad to be an '80s has-been. That's not comfortable for a teenager." You've been rickroll'd, Emilie	(47)
		Dita von Teese says divorcing Marilyn Manson turned her off sex for a year. Subby thinks the turn-off started a bit sooner	(68)
		Surprising absolutely no one, Peaches Geldof and her Wentz announce their pending divorce after six months of marriage	(28)
		Eddie Izzard to enter politics. Elections to feature new 'Cake or death?' mode	(53)
		World's first lesbian superhero to take over Batman's long-running "Detective Comics" until Bruce Wayne returns from wherever he is. Harley Quinn raises curious eyebrow	(110)
(ModernFIlmZine)		Interview with the zombie master himself, George A. Romero, who doesn't really like horror flicks and is working on a new "untitled Romero project"	(36)
		Giving the finger termed "crude" by body that classifies movies in Ontario, ranking it slightly more offensive than farting, belching and urinating on strangers	(13)

		Video of Jessica Simpson forgetting her words onstage. Bonus: She traded the mom pants for cutoffs	(80)
		Celebrity chef and publican Marco Pierre White introduces Britain's first gourmet beer to break the £5/pint barrier. "I think most pubs undercharge"	(150)
		After Sienna Miller lost "Robin Hood" role for being too hot for Russell Crowe, Ridley Scott casts decidedly less faptastic Cate Blanchett for Maid Marian role	(63)
		Stevie Wonder is serious about "Dancing With The Stars." The only thing that worries him, though, is his weight. Wait, what?	(23)
		Whedon fanboy Joss Whedon promises upcoming movie "Cabin the the Woods" will be a horror classic	(22)
		One upside of fame is, if you got raging drunk you can Google yourself in the morning to see how you got home	(14)
		"Battlestar Galactica": Frak. Whatever happens now, it's gonna happen soon	(111)
		"Donnie Darko" craptastic sequel mercifully goes straight to DVD	(62)
		Non-human Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are living proof that aliens are alive and well and living on his planet	(18)
		Critics disappointed by low-brow humor and lack of "sharp theatrical satire" from Will Ferrell's Broadway debut. What were they expecting?	(26)
		Drew Barrymore's pierced tongue is scaring the guys away. No, wait, we don't think that's why she got it	(53)
		If you've always had a thing for those brainy, nerdy yet compellingly hot girls... well, one less one is on the market today (tag is for the loss of subby's dreams)	(63)
		Is it time to kill the chick flick? Oh please say yes, please say yes	(184)

		The ten most expensive comic books at the New York Comic Con. Commence "Comic Book Guy" jokes...now	(92)
		James Whitmore escapes planet of the humans, aged 87	(50)
		How "Lost"'s Season Five is the craziest one yet	(106)
		Roy Horn to perform onstage for one time only performance. His and Siegfired's agent salutes Roy's bravery and determination. "He's really sticking his neck out on this one"	(19)
		Pink Panther 2: the mystery of the missing laughs	(72)
		Star of "Burn Notice" gets his salary doubled. No word on what Bruce Campbell gets for carrying his lame ass every week	(111)
		Can Science Fiction withstand the worst actor in the world? Not that one the other one, no the other one, keep going, yep Orlando Bloom is going to be in The Cross	(51)
		Push has a lot in common with Jumper, but instead of the vast black hole of suck that is Hayden Christensen it has the vortex of suck that is Chris Evans	(31)
		Bad economy means no raises for actors on CBS dramatic series, forcing David Caruso to be careful when whipping those sunglasses off, because they have to last	(13)
(iF Magazine)		Masa Oki, aka Hiro from "Heroes," tries to explain why the show didn't really suck ass the past few seasons, it was just you	(54)
		Celebrities are trying to bring the mustache back. Oh it never left, it's always there, just under the surface, waiting	(41)
		Christian Bale apologizes: "Feel free to make fun of me at my expense; I deserve it completely"	(119)
		Carlos Mencia pulled from Mardi Gras parade for making Hurricane Katrina jokes, being Carlos Mencia	(80)
		What if every new show on TV was about a cop, doctor, lawyer or a remake? It's called next Fall	(47)
		Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson under fire again, this time for calling Gordon Brown a "one-eyed Scottish idiot", although authorities maintain telling the truth does not breach the Broadcasting Code	(44)
		Val Kilmer ponders run for NM Governor in 2010, pie for breakfast every day	(73)
		Miley's "goofy face" taken out of context. Disney to sue for defamation of a character	(144)
		Back Street Boy Nick Carter says booze and drugs almost killed him. Better luck next time, booze and drugs	(55)

(prnewswire)		'Battlestar Galactica' prequel "Caprica" to be exclusively released on DVD. Mark your frakkin' calendar for April 21	(82)
		Exclusive images from the unreleased companion book 'Watchmen: The Art of the Film', with thoughts from photographer Clay Enos, who details each individual image	(44)
		Andy Dick discusses peeing in a cop car and admitting that he "borders on retardation" when he drinks: "It's like making fun of a mentally handicapped person, because I am when I have that much alcohol"	(42)
		"The View" ladies watch anti-Palin commercial on wolf-killing, which Hasselbeck associates with abortion. Yeah, it's "punch your monitor" time	(125)
(Rabies the Dog)		Complete "Bloom County" to be released in October 2008. Will join "Complete" Far Side where half the strips are redrawn, and "Complete" Calvin and Hobbes" where 2 strips are edited and 1 is not included at all	(102)
		Robot Chicken presents: Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan, The Opera	(30)
		Aretha Franklin's hat re-records its "preferred version" of "my country 'tis of thee" for release this week	(12)
		Behind the scenes with the doctor that consults for "House." About four-fifths of the way through the article, you'll stop and stare into space with a moment of epiphany	(52)
		Stephen Colbert goes all Christian Bale on Steve Martin	(29)
(Dose.ca)		Katee Sackhoff: "I would rather be typecast as an independent, strong woman than go to work with fake tits up to my chin and pretend to be the slutty girl." Can't she do both?	(53)
		James Cameron reserves the right to hate the new Terminator film if it fails to meet his high standards	(44)
		Hollywood scapes bottom, finds a bigger barrel to scrape underneath: "Candy Land" coming to the big screen	(48)
		Creepy Twilight fan makes creepy felt womb complete with creepy felt mutant fetus	(143)
		Colbert congratulates the new leader of the Republican party-Rush Limbaugh	(140)
		Jane Fonda still furious, irrelevant	(50)
		If Dennis Leary promises to buy your city a fire truck, get the money up front before you order it. Preferably in cash	(157)
		Clay Aiken to be a guest judge on "America's Next Top Model," which for a gay man is like going to the Super Bowl	(16)
		Unexpected quote from an article about a thirty-something's biological clock: "I hate running. So you're not going to see me doing it -- unless I'm being chased by a pack of fast, blood-thirsty zombies."	(64)
		Roger Ebert tells fanboys to get a life, in his review of "Fanboys"	(76)
(Some Guy)		Warner Bros. announces they'll be using the "Harry Potter franchise formula" for long-running movie series based on Batman, Superman, Sherlock Holmes, and the Watchmen. 007 not amused	(77)
(Monsters & Critics)		Not news: Keira Knightley's favorite meal is Indian curry with Cobra beer. News: Keira Knightley eats food	(61)
(Some Thespian)		Do you know which actor has the most Oscar noms? You want the answer? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH	(23)
(Some Prefixer)		When Wil posts on Fark, it's newsworthy. Or at least blogworthy	(70)
		007's "Casino Royale" director in talks to helm big-screen "Green Lantern" adaptation. Expect a leaner, grittier Hal Jordan to be kicked in the nuts a lot	(34)
		Gwyneth Paltrow is going to write a cook book filled with recipes of dishes that look great on the outside, but ultimately will leave you hungry for something with more substance	(24)
		"Tropic Thunder" sequel? Robert Downey, Jr. isn't going full-retard on this one	(51)
		We'll do it live: Top 10 celebrity rants caught on tape	(29)
		Lionsgate "realizes" that they own the rights to the movie "PUSH," one day before its release. Sueology ensues	(26)
		Britney Spears gets the best opening act money can buy for upcoming "Circus" tour: K-Fed	(23)

		Penelope Cruz: "When I first came to America I made a lot of mistakes, like going to the hair salon and asking for a blow job instead of a blow dry"	(47)
(Some Guy)		Original "Hellraiser" FX artist redesigns Pinhead for upcoming remake (pics). Too bad no one in Hollywood believes in Cenobites	(46)
		John Cleese on Python's Terry Jones: "He and I never got on. What Terry cannot accept is that the Welsh are a servile nation that God put on the planet to carry out menial tasks for the English"	(48)
		Angry Bale 2009 takes an exciting new turn as more information is released regarding the events surrounding his rant	(66)
		Jude Law portrays a hot transvestite supermodel in his latest flick and pulls it off convincingly. (pic)	(55)
		"Fringe" star Anna Torv marries her co-star & on-screen lover, Mark "Chiselface" Valley	(53)
		Farrelly Brothers looking to cast Three Stooges movie with Johnny Depp as Moe, Sean Penn as Larry. Hopefully they can get Vin Diesel as Curly	(53)
		Jennifer Aniston reveals that she still keeps answering machine tapes of messages Brad Pitt left for her .... in a cardboard shoebox under her bed, labelled "WHY BRAD, WHY??" Yeah, she's clearly moved on	(29)
		Female actress featured in Tuscon Comcast Super Bowl porn mixup embraces her newfound fame. That's odd; Weird tag didn't order any pizza	(64)
		Etta James is PISSED that Beyonce sang "at last" at Obama's inauguration: "She's going to get her ass whooped. How dare Beyonce sing MY song that I been singing forever."	(80)
		Robert Downey Jr. dismisses rumours of Mickey Rourke as Crimson Dynamo but doesn't deny he might play Whiplash: "The nerd stuff is top-drawer security"	(24)
		Vivica A. Fox will be the host of "The Cougar," a new reality show where an older woman looks to date younger men. And no, it's not airing on VH1	(49)
		Hank Azaria becomes a dad, looking forward to many years of wrapping his hands around his neck while uttering "WHY YOU LITTLE @&$#"	(71)
		After Faye Dunaway asked "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?" on "Bonnie & Clyde" remake casting announcement, lead actress Hillary Duff hits back: "I might be mad if I looked like that now too"	(129)
		Cancelled as commencement speaker at the University of Vermont because of his support for creationism, Ben Stein calls the whole episode "pathetic" and "irritating to the eyes"	(311)
		Erykah Badu, next celebrity contestant in the "let's give our newborn a name that will scar him forever and ostracise him from the other children"	(98)
		Recession forcing celebrities to sell extra homes, wear outfits only twice and cut hookers and blow budgets. That sound you hear is John Williams soundtrack of world's tiniest violin symphony	(13)
		Visual effects studio to open in downtown Detroit. FX wizards say it makes it a lot cheaper to step outside and shoot scenes for the new "Terminator" movie, set in a post-apocalyptic future	(26)
		Carnie Wilson will be the new host of "The Newlywed Game," but with a twist: She eats the two losing couples	(36)
		How 10 different actors tried to bounce back from a big movie flop	(87)
		BBC fires TV host for using the G-word	(65)
		Letterman to Blago: "The more you talked, and the more you repeated your innocence, the more I said to myself, 'Oh, this guy is guilty'"	(67)
		Disbanded Jonesboro High School dance squad taking their tight bodies and skimpy outfits to Tyra. Fire up the TiVos, boys	(85)
		Elizabeth Edwards is writing a book about how to be a doormat while your husband treats you like crap	(69)
		Rights groups pleads with House to extend deadline for TV switch, expect sympathy for the poor, disabled, elderly. They've apparently never actually seen the show	(164)
		Angelina Jolie says she doesn't like watching her movies. Join the club, toots	(68)
		Hell is plastic: 18 CD/DVD releases marred by gimmicky packaging. No. 1? Kenny G jewelboxes that prevent the discs from becoming scratched, and hence unplayable	(86)
(ETonline.com)		Former CSI star William Petersen gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame in ceremony that involved lots of spooky lighting and shifty camera effects	(25)
		Pacino to play King Lear in movie adaptation. Let copulation thrive	(20)
(Lonely Geek)		Retro review: How "Back to the Future III" destroyed the space-time continuum	(256)

		Stephen King: the difference between JK Rowling and "Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer is that Meyer "can't write worth a darn. She's not very good"	(300)
(Some Buzz-Sucker)		Proving Broadway finally has some great ideas. The Hudsucker Proxy Musical. ( You know, for kids)	(51)
		Christian Bale Goes Ballistic: The Soundboard. It was only a matter of time (Not safe for work language)	(117)
		Proving yet again that everything awesome eventually gets turned into crap, "Slumdog Millionaire" to become a reality series	(36)
(Some Guy)		Experts discuss the feasibility of the technology shown on "24," including a single firewall protecting the whole government, whether a hacker could control airlines and why Jack can get cell phone coverage in a submarine	(66)
		Why can't American broadcast TV adopt the British model of six- or eight-show seasons? That way the nuts on "Lost" would be home already instead of wherever they are now	(137)
		SNL, not content with neverending commercial breaks, keeps blurring the line between TV show and long-winded commercial: "It's not just an ad for Pepsi, it's an ad for 'Saturday Night Live'"	(72)
(Some Guy)		What's worse than writing the script for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop?" Stealing the script for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"	(24)
		Less than 24 hours after its release, Christian Bale's tirade is already a great dance remix and a parody (Not safe for work language)	(98)
		A sentence that submitter thought he'd never see: Who Looks Worse - Jennifer Connelly Or Scarlett Johansson?	(132)
		Nick Hogan driving again after maiming a friend, balding at 20	(37)
		The Yellowstone volcano exploded violently 2 million years ago, it'll take longer than that for Ken Burns to tell you about it	(10)
		New Captain Kirk wins award for being famous in the future	(22)
		Son of "Heroes" star Greg Grunberg undergoes successful brain surgery to treat epilepsy. Tag relates to Grunberg's character on the show	(35)
(Some Guy)		Wheaton wearing a Fark t-shirt, holding a painting of Wheaton wearing a Fark t-shirt, holding a velvet painting of Wesley Crusher. It's the ciiiiiircle of life	(94)
(Yeeeah)		Now that Lindsay Lohan is all growed up and out of the house, Dina resorts to skanking up, pimping out 14-year-old Ali	(66)
		Producer claims that A-list movie stars are calling him in hopes of being cast as new Freddy Krueger in "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake. He must be dreaming	(31)
		Actor Gary Collins completes his very own DUI trifecta	(20)
		Comcast to offer $10 dollar credit for Tucson fans as their way of saying sorry for showing the huge dong during the Super Bowl	(51)
		Gwyneth Paltrow: "How could people hate me, my intentions or what I'm trying to do? I'm a good person and I'm trying to put good things into the world"	(75)
		Ernest Hemingway biopic in the works. No lead actor found yet but the screenplay, based on the last 14 years of his life, is said to be explosive and mindblowing	(67)
(Some Guy)		First look at Neil Gaiman's "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?"	(100)
		Madonna is reunited with Jesus. The Sun is there	(15)
		FX drama "Rescue Me" goes full-out tinfoil	(328)

(Some AZN)		Miley Cyrus continues the downward spiral, caught making slant eyes to mock Asians	(137)
		How do you know NBC doesn't like its new drama series that premieres next month? When it doesn't mention the show during the Super Bowl	(25)
		Elizabeth Hasselbeck: "He's being paid millions to be an example." Whoopi: "He's just a spokesman for some company, have some weed"	(214)
(Some Guy)		Carrot Top will do anything for a laugh. Including scaring the shiat out of you (with nightmare photo)	(63)
		NFL great Lawrence Taylor may appear on "Dancing With the Stars." Contacted for a response, the Hall-of-Famer said, "Dancing? I thought they said Free-Basing"	(21)
		Zack Snyder previews Watchmen 2. Tag is because there is no unholy abomination tag	(78)
		Christian Bale goes American psycho on director of photography who accidentally ruins a scene (very Not safe for work audio)	(280)
		Why Groundhog Day was one of the last great Hollywood comedies	(104)
		Homer Simpson weighs in on the economic downturn: "If I was President Obama for a day, I'd order the Treasury to stop printing money and start brewing beer. That would end this depression pretty damn fast"	(18)
		Concept art for the battle of Yonkers, from the movie adaptation of World War Z	(151)
(Rev. Jeff Probst)		"Arranged Marriage" coming soon to CBS. Its like Survivor meets the 12th Century	(57)
		Clint Eastwood awarded Modern Master Award, growls 'Get off my lawn'	(42)
		The following interview takes place between 3pm and 4pm	(24)
		Why Groundhog Day was one of the last great Hollywood comedies	(164)
(Some Guy)		Kevin Bacon reveals the secret to a successful marriage: "You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty."	(36)
		Damn you Erno Rubik. Damn you to hell	(41)
(NY Magazine)		NPR's Ira Glass: "Newspapers are mostly really terrible and they deserve to die. And network news is mostly really terrible and it deserves to go down"	(94)