Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Entertainment Archives for '2007-04-15 23:59:59'

# of Comments

American Idol's Simon Cowell was once a hapless game show contestant himself, a video shows

(9)

Menudo, the photogenic Latin American band of boys under 16, may reform in Miami. In other news, Wacko Jacko is pondering a return to the United States

(3)

Software companies scrambling to make Wii games after ignoring it before release

(17)

"I just want to say that I'm just really, really shocked at like how nice our world is because it is just so nice." - Britney Spears

Will Smith reuniting with DJ Jazzy Jeff

(The Gauntlet)

Not News: H3 driver gets impatient; News: rams car on freeway causing chain reaction accident; Fark: H3 driver is Sully Erna from rock band Godsmack

(38)

Producers leaning towards casting Sienna Miller as Barbarella over Angeline Jolie: “To be blunt, Sienna is younger and cheaper”

(27)

What is the worst movie line ever? LGN

(214)

Seventh Harry Potter book breaks the half-million mark for advance orders, despite the disappointing lack of rumors about a sex scene featuring Hermione

(31)

Sat April 14, 2007:

# of Comments

Nicole Kidman receives Australian award for bettering the human condition. Submitter's condition feels tingly (pics) (of Nicole - not submitter's "condition")

(67)

(Jim Hill Media)

1970 Disney booklet demonstrates early "vision" of Walt Disney World without Michael Jackson or Floridians but with some super-creepy resort hotels

(28)

(Evil, Inc.)

The top 13 supervillain teams of all time

(57)

Before you go out to see the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie, watch the origins of the characters in Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Top 25 live albums of all time

(184)

Celebrating the phenomena of female roadies: I’m known as Van Girl,” she says, “but I’ve met a lady by the name of Road Biatch, too”

(3)

(airliners.net)

Cool picture of a jumbo jet flying out of the sun

(17)

What's it like to be Jessica Alba's bikini while she's playing in the water? These pictures might just hold the answer (borderline sfw)

(53)

What's Brit reading?

(83)

Snoop Dog defends use of "ho." 'Rappers are not talking about no college girls.' Which leaves subby to ask, so rappers are talking about college girls?

(287)

Harry Potter World the next big theme park. Where does the line start for the Hermione ride?

(50)

(TV Squad)

Tucker Carlson - a man who can be described as many things. Pundit. Conservative. Dick. And now...game show host

(31)

(MI6 News)

First 007 86'ed at age 89

Belfast film festival screens episode of Star Trek TNG never before shown uncensored in England and Ireland

(19)

Melvin and Howard, Part II

(3)

Kirk Douglas posts an apology for slavery on MySpace

"The World's Largest Billboard" for Michael Bay's "Transformers" is ripped to pieces by high winds on Sunset Blvd. This is how God tells you a movie sucks

Fri April 13, 2007:

# of Comments

Fans blow a gasket over Archie and the gang's new look

Top 10 most awesome alcoholics

(33)

(Wizard Universe)

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Poll Results - The wookies have spoken

(33)

The weekend is here, time to take a sip from the party ice luge

(10)

(some russian site)

You don't need to be able to read Russian to appreciate these pictures of antique and contemporary collectible cars

Let's all hate Toronto

(85)

Forbes releases 10 most costly celebrity divorces. Robert Blake seen pointing, laughing

(7)

Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightly to film a steamy threesome for their...*fap* *fap* *fap*

(Hollywood Reporter)

Christina Ricci to play Trixie in the Wachowskis' upcoming Speed Racer. No word on Zac Effron playing Chim Chim

(Entertainment Weekly)

"Tarantino is one of the few working directors who could make a great movie in almost any genre (or better still, invent a new one). Right now, what's holding him back is either bad taste or lack of ambition"

(29)

Cameron Diaz can't wait to be an old hag

(10)

Save the cheerleader....and she'll lick her friend's boob (possibly Not safe for work pic)

Jon Stewart shows the world just how big of a hypocritical gasbag Nancy Grace is

(63)

(WWTDD)

Cat found on Courtney Love's keyboard

(15)

Trey Anastasio pleads guilty to one count of possession of a controlled substance, two counts of playing truly godawful music

Halle Berry has set herself a deadline to get pregnant by the end of the year. The line forms to the right

(27)

Joe Walsh to play some dates on Kenny Chesney's upcoming tour. In other news, Joe Walsh still alive

(42)

(People Magazine)

Carson Daly says he's supporting Sanjaya, which makes sense since neither has any discernible talent and yet still have become successful on television

(70)

Brendan Fraser is to star in "The Mummy 3: Cash Grab"

(40)

Lindsay Lohan claims she isn't dating Cletus Federline despite inviting him to her hotel for an afternoon of cocktails and an evening of cock. Sad tag used for lack of Pathetic tag

Heather Locklear's divorce finalized. In other news, pinatas are serious business

Scary Spice has her baby's DNA taken so she can prove it's Eddie Murphy's. Howard K. Stern will represent Eddie and try to fight it

(116)

Ginger Spice is bringing out a series of children’s books with one character based on Victoria Beckham. Working titles include "Adventures of a Bag of Antlers"

(19)

Victoria Beckham, tired of being skinny, is turning to alcohol in a bid to help her gain weight. Don't we all wish we had her problem

Madonna is returning to Malawai, but she is not, repeat NOT, going to be adopting another child while she's down there

(7)

Ozzy Osbourne's first new studio album in almost six years is also the first he has ever recorded sober

(41)

"New trend in TV viewing is to dumb down content." Once again, the AFP is about 50 years late with the news

Willa Ford set to play Anna Nicole Smith in upcoming movie due to physical appearance and uncanny lack of talent shared by both. Boobies tag unavailable as movie will more than likely be on network television

Thu April 12, 2007:

# of Comments

(MLB.com)

Alyssa Milano debuts her "Touch" line of women's baseball clothes. I'd like to "touch" her "line", giggity giggity

(29)

(If It's Movies)

5 New "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" Images Online

(44)

Heather Locklear back in the market

(28)

(Helsinki News)

Donald Duck hotter in Finland than in the United States, reaching over a million readers. Now if the perv would just put on some pants

(61)

(The Phoenix)

Donald Trump tops list of 100 unsexiest men. Oddly, Chuck Klosterman was 17th and The Sports Guy didn't make it

(105)

Natalie Portman says she's open to a lesbian relationship. In related Star Wars news, I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of kittens suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

(77)

Maxim puts some emotion into an emotionless Victoria Beckham

(11)

(The Superficial)

Singer Kylie Minogue looks good after a bout with cancer, a face tightening, a lip inflation and a finish coat of polyurethane

(49)

(Cin City 2000)

The upcoming "Bruce Almighty" sequel fails to heed the 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not suck

(44)

Barbara Walters, 77, has an 80-year-old boyfriend. They went to the islands and she came back tanned. Imagine her in a bikini and cringe in horror

(35)

MSNBC ponders what would happen if Paris Hilton went to jail. Good night, and good luck

(20)

Wanda Sykes surprised to hear that Don Imus is still alive, wonders when she became the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos

(459)

Alanis Morissette has been sent a butt-shaped cake by Fergie

(45)

Get out your Farrah posters so you can remember what she used to look like: The original Charlie's Angels are considering reprising their roles in a new movie

(25)

So the devil says, "If you win, I get your soul." And Sanjaya says, "Sure man. You get me to win, and you can have my soul." Simon Cowell to claim interference with contract

(266)

Sir Anthony Hopkins has done it all, but he still wants to work with Dirty Harry

Shooting starts on new "Get Smart" movie. Watch out for the Cone of Suck over Hollywood

(38)

Roscoe Lee Browne, best known for dying the same day as Kurt Vonnegut, passes away at 81

(32)

(Egotastic!)

Jenna Fischer (aka Pam from "The Office") gets her boobs honked by Will Ferrell

(12)

Does anyone really need another reason not to make out with Courtney Love? Then, okay, she claims she has vomit-breath caused by her gastric bypass surgery

(14)

Rhino curry? Cheetah tandoori? Not if Bollywood hotness Aishwarya Rai has anything to say about it. Subby wants a blueberry squishie

The best show on TV that you're not watching gets a kinda-sorta second-season renewal

(42)

(WOAI-4)

San Antonio's last drive-in theatre closes after vandals inflict $500K worth of damage to the snack bar. May they will all be locked in a trunk forever

Halle Barry regrets kissing her star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, saying she forgot crackheads pee there

(11)

Brad and Angelina buy $300 million yacht complete with mini submarine; announce plans to adopt child from Atlantis

(41)

The best burnout you'll see today. Bonus: It's Australian

If you're going to film up an actress's skirt during an interview, you probably shouldn't do it while her violent boyfriend is accompanying her

Wed April 11, 2007:

# of Comments

Former Grateful Dead manager sentenced to five years in prison for tax evasion. Jerry Garcia unavailable for comment, obviously

(17)

(Some Food Guy)

Alton Brown wins a Peabody for "Good Eats." Sherman not availible for comment

(71)

(TV Week)

Creator of "Entourage" justifies lack of sex scenes because nobody wants to see Turtle's man ass every week

(If It's Movies)

First image of Iron Man in his grey suit makes its way onto the Internet

(67)

Drew Barrymore still likes to get trashed (with pics)

(40)

(Hollywood Reporter)

BSG actress Katee Sackoff gets a Lifetime channel movie. Oddly, it doesn't involve an abused woman kicking some serious ass

(20)

(The Rad Report)

Lauren Conrad's ex-friend is the one spreading sex tape rumors. Like OMG what a farking biatch

(TV Squad)

After being satirized on "South Park," the people behind the show "24" send them a suitcase nuke out of love. Don't fark with Jack Bauer

I-Mockery reviews the new Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie

(127)

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie find enemas are the path to lasting friendship

If you spent time in rehab prior to your 21st birthday, congratulations, you now have one thing in common with Tobey Maguire

(9)

Backlash against Botox in Hollywood, as too many actresses look permanently surprised. In related news, "Desperate Housewives" producers order their Botox on draft for a discount

(New York Times)

NBC asks America the question, "Where in the World Is Matt Lauer?" and America answers "We don't f*cking care."

(30)

Japanese survey of 100 most influential people in history ranks Bruce Lee ahead of Leonardo da Vinci, Julius Caesar, Wright Brothers

(39)

Rowan Atkinson wants to revive his favourite character, Blackadder

(41)

Rosie O'Donnell thinks 9/11 was an inside job, which means she thinks the Holocaust didn't happen, which means she weighs as much as a duck, and therefore is made of wood and is a witch. Burn her

(1134)

(Radar)

Howard Stern wallows in Turkeyneck McOldenstein's public humiliation

(84)

Ugh... Anna Nicole Smith biopic movie coming. Don't you have to do something worthwhile to have a biopic?

Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss and Kelly Osbourne ban together to help each other stay sober. What could possibly go wrong?

Still in fear of the Moonites, mayor of Boston requests the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" movie not be shown. Next up on the mayor's list: Bring back Howdy Doody

(297)

Leeza Gibbons booted off "Dancing With the Stars." Audiences still leaning towards Heather Mills

(9)

Just when things were looking bad for Jenna Jameson, she's seen out with Paris Hilton. Oh, wait

(32)

(People Magazine)

Blink 182's Travid Barker explains why he got back together with his wife. "Because she's absolutely smoking hot" conspicuously absent from list

(47)

Spamalot cast set to break the "Coconut Orchestra" record

(11)

"Zero Hour" to be released on DVD. It's a blatant attempt to start another "Airplane" quote thread, altogether

(86)

Snoop Dogg charged with felony drug and gun counts, so new album can't be far behind

"Fifth Beatle" Neil Aspinall no longer needed, no longer feeded, now that he's 64

Bored with snorting his dad's ashes, Keith Richards now likes to fling birds

(4)

Naomi Campbell wants to make it clear she didn't touch any poop during her community service

(10)

Ugly-ass chimp, star of 12 Tarzan movies, turns 75 years old (with pic)

(56)

Justin Timberlake is writing songs for Madonna's new album, proving her career is over

Tue April 10, 2007:

# of Comments

Cleaning company trashes $1.4m in rare Beatles photographic materials. Bungalo Bill wanted for questioning

(20)

Wrecked Ferrari will continue to not be a publicity stunt for the movie "Red Line" as it lies in state outside Mann's Chinese Theatre during movie's premiere. That's "Red Line." Opening this Friday. Only in theaters

Orlando Bloom in talks for next "Superman." He'll make a great Lois Lane

(42)

Mandy Moore considers herself to be a "mediocre" singer and actress

(51)

Bruce Willis has slammed celebrities who flaunt their children in the showbiz spotlight. His children Rumor, Scout and Tallulah Belle unavailable for comment

(14)

Women also think Scarlett Johansson has the world's sexiest body

(Some Girl)

Kim Kardashian drops Paris Hilton, fearing she is bad for her image. But Kim's little porn video being sold on the Web isn't hurting her image at all

Kate Beckinsale's eight-year-old daughter plays "spot who's had Botox" on Los Angeles streets

Flames engulf Johnny Cash's Tennessee home. "Burning thing" situation confirmed, but no word yet on if it made a fiery ring

(76)

Hilary Swank stopped by George Clooney's Italian villa over the weekend. She must have heard about the roomy stables and delicious Tuscan oats

(19)

With Al Sharpton distracted by some old dude in a cowboy hat, C-list TV celeb believes it to be an opportune time to scream the N-word at a police officer. Bonus: The officer isn't black

How to bag a celebrity. Any list that informs you on how to pick up K-Fed is a list worth reading

(34)

Salma Hayek to be CEO of joint venture with MGM to produce movies aimed at Latinos; seek Golden Globes

(49)

(Molly Good)

Hugh Hefner's pneumatic girlfriends provide some eye candy at a golf scramble. Apparently, the stupid one couldn't read the wardrobe memo (SFW)

(50)

(People Magazine)

Justin Timberlake -- Outside voice: I love and respect Cameron. Inside voice: Been there, done that

(Entertainment Weekly)

What better way to celebrate the 25th anniversary of "Porky's" than this walk down mammary lane

(39)

Sure, half of all weddings end in divorce, but how many end up in court for mocking Hindu culture? If you said, "Elizabeth Hurley's," you win

(29)

Associated Press film review of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters" basically comes right out and says it's better if you're stoned while watching it

(53)

Why Sanjaya is just as good as every other "American Idol," if not better. Taylor Hicks wanted for questioning

Mr. Bean voted the UK's favorite comedy character, but he won't hold that position for long, as the man in fifth has a cunning plan

Danny Glover will not run for mayor of San Francisco, says he's getting too old for this sh*t

(15)

"B.C." and "Wizard of Id" to live on despite creator Johnny Hart's death, using old drawings on his computer. Comics got legs

"Green Arrow" movie in the works, except he won't have a costume, hair or be called "Green Arrow." And it all takes place in a maximum-security prison

(28)

Mon April 09, 2007:

# of Comments

Tom Cruise comes to NYC to hawk his Scientologic mumbo jumbo to 9/11 victims, and no one says a thing. Except for this physician

(27)

My grandmother just asked me what a "ho" is. Thanks a lot, Don Imus

(30)

Imus benched for two weeks. Rutgers team advances

(330)

Kirsten Dunst took a break from acting after her last film, "Marie Antoinette," bombed. Most people thought she'd been on break since "Spider-Man 2" and hadn't realized she'd done anything since then anyway

(48)

Tori Spelling and her mom spent nine months not talking to each other after reading they were mad at each other in the entertainment tabloids. In related news, Dumbass tag complains of feeling totally inadequate

Kirsten Dunst puts down the Doritos long enough to say that the world would be a better place if everyone smoked weed

(80)

(TMZ)

Halle Berry in Parade magazine: "I tried to kill myself once." Halle Berry later in the press: "Not true." Parade magazine: "You see, there's these things called tape recorders..."

Gawker editor Emily Gould gets brow-beaten by former "Man Show" host Jimmy Kimmel on "Larry King Live" for reporting that he's often drinking

(195)

"Gilmore Girls" needs to be taken out behind Luke's Diner and stabbed to death with a meat fork

(49)

Gamestop to start showing endings of all your favorite games in the store as a way to get you to trade in that brand new game you just purchased for $3.00

(70)

(ASocialiteLife)

Anna Nicole/Dannielynn Smith DNA lottery to be decided tomorrow. You can't win if you didn't play

(130)

"Grindhouse" opens in disappointing fourth place. Tarantino, Rodriguez stunned to find blood and gore not welcome on Good Friday, blame Mel Gibson for leading them astray

(81)

Porn star Jenna Jameson shows up at convention 40 pounds under her fighting weight, boogies out early when Tera Patrick has longer line of fans to see her

(60)

Long-running sitcom "King of Queens" coming to an end. In other news, "King of Queens" still on the air

(32)

The success of "Saw" and its sequels leading more A-list Hollywood stars to be willing to act in B-grade slasher flicks

Spike TV to host "Guy's Choice" awards. First category is "Gayest Awards Show." And the winner is... "Guy's Choice" awards

(96)

Jessica Alba was contractually forbidden from making eye contact with the likes of Luke Perry and Tori Spelling while working on "Beverly Hills 90210"