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Sun May 15, 2011
Jennifer Love Hewitt might utilize her assets as the new female lead on "Law & Order: SVU"
Lindsay Lohan's breasts vs. gravity: two boobs enter, one boob leaves
Columnist makes the argument that Dazed and Confused should have won the Best Picture Oscar in 1993. Because it was better than Schindler's List, Remains of the Day, and The Fugitive. Go back to smoking your weed, hippie
(Some Mane Event)
Ryan Seacrest jockeying for new fashion series featuring Sarah Jessica Parker
Naomi Watts, everyone else pissed off that Sean Penn is banging Scarlett Johansson
CBS will take no more $#* from Shatner
NBC: "If Donald Trump runs for office, we'll replace him on Celebrity Apprentice." We're annoyed if he does, we're annoyed if he doesn't
Lindsay Lohan says she will stay sober for the rest of her life. Unlikely tag orders two big rounds of Jägermeister
Twelve movies you must see this summer, five you haven't heard of but should see, and five you'd be better off avoiding. Like Green Lantern, since it has, y'know, Ryan Reynolds (warning: slideshow)
Kristen Stewart says vampires are "sexy." No word if she's talking about True Blood vampires or the sparkly Twilight vampires
And on that bombshell
Thor reigns supreme at the box office, Bridesmaids open at a respectable number two despite the presence of Kristen Wiig, and Priest flops big time
What could be better than a live-action version of "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" on SNL? How about one with Jimmy Fallon, Jon Hamm, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert and Ed Helms
Leave it to Japan to debut a 3D erotic film at Cannes that involves a nerd who gets a donkey penis transplant
Hollywood is out of ideas: Four-quels are the new trilogy
New book looks in depth at Richard Burton's 60 films, 30 stage productions, 2500 women sex partners
Tom Sizemore's missing girlfriend found. Alive. I know, right? Subby owes you $20
Eva Longoria poses topless on a white horse to promote .... Wait, who are we kidding? It doesn't matter
Sat May 14, 2011
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's 'The Muppets' teaser poster Yayyyyyy
Carrie Fisher approching 'sort of want', down from 'bring me Solo and a Cookie'
If you post spoilers about Doctor Who, Steven Moffat hates you. So this thread isn't about the new Neil Gaiman penned episode. No sir. No spoilers here. Not a one. Wink wink, nudge nudge
Happy birthday, George Lucas. Here's a little something from the Star Wars Holiday Special you'd probably like to forget
Tim Burton's big screen remake of Dark Shadows set to be released on May 11, 2012. Barnabas Collins last seen praying for sunrise to hurry up and get here
Before there was Idol or X Factor, there was this, the annual pinnacle of camp and kitsch, best known for unleashing ABBA upon the world. This is your official Eurovision Song Contest thread
From the "Why didn't I think of this" file. Disney trademarks the term "Seal Team 6″. Coming to ....well, everywhere near you soon
HBO renews 'Treme' despite low ratings. It's not TV, it's HBO
Woman in front row at Paul Simon concert: "Play 'Duncan.'" Paul Simon: "You learned to play it on guitar? Come on up"
Fri May 13, 2011
Victoria's Secret models in sundresses. Subby loves this time of year
Lady Gaga's pen is busy
NBC outsources "Outsourced" to the outhouse
The single most consolidated encapsulation of what's wrong with America and its obsession with celebrity I've ever farking seen
Britney's parents: "Our daughter is too retarded to testify." Thanks Mom and Dad
It must be nice to be checking out at the supermarket, randomly pick up a National Enquirer, and find out that Jessica Biel wants to jump your bones
Scarlett Johansson "determined" to have Sean Penn's baby. In related news, subby "determined" to vomit profusely
Ex-"Friends" star Matthew Perry heads back to rehab for the third time. "Please enjoy making fun of me on the World Wide Web"
Miley Cyrus hits the beach with her mom and her mom's terrible back tattoo
Jon Gosselin doesn't miss reality TV, dignity
Jennifer Aniston buys $4.95 million penthouse for dog. Yeah, I'm not surprised, either
SPIder-Man, SPIder-Man, opens his retooled Broadway play to generally positive assessments BY the fans
Jude Law: "I can't play the dashing young blade in films any more, those parts don't come to me"
NBC declines to pick up 'Wonder Woman,' saving themselves from having to cancel it after five episodes
A Warehouse 13 spin-off starring H.G. Wells? Yes...yes I will watch that
Tom Sizemore's girlfriend has been missing for a month, presumably right after realizing she was dating Tom Sizemore
Leo, Bar none
Fitness fanatic Jane Fonda figures to be in the running for best looking 73-year old. Ever
59-year-old Michael Keaton reflects on Batman and Beetlejuice. "I'm in my bat suit, Jack is in Joker get-up and I just looked at him and said, 'We're grown men, right?"
Craig Kilborn in talks with ABC to develop, write, and star in a new comedy that will quickly get canceled after ABC realizes he's not funny and they should've gone with Greg Kinnear
Thu May 12, 2011
One And A Half Men And A Douche
Network dramas failing to capture audiences since we're all too busy playing with our cell phones, rarely enjoy plot twists because we don't want to think, and have the attention span of... you're not even listening, are you?
How could Gandalf the Grey be more badass? 3D glasses, THAT'S how
Marlee Matlin owes over $50,000 in back taxes. Bet she didn't see that coming
An A-list TV & movie star worth over $100 million is being sued for $20 million for knowingly giving someone herpes and making a sex tape. No names are mentioned in the suit; speculation to the right
Among the celebrities attending this year's Indy 500 are James Rebhorn, William Fichtner, Patrick Warburton and Eric Dane. In other news, Indianapolis is holding a "it's that guy" convention the weekend of the 500
Mary Tyler Moore to undergo brain surgery. Doctors say there's a good chance she's gonna make it, after all
It is a major faux pas to wear a dress someone else has been seen wearing to a royal wedding, especially when you're the bride
Founder of Zanies comedy club has told his last joke. Goodnight, funnyman
Hayden Panettiere dumped her uber-athlete Russian boxing champ boyfriend after discovering that absence didn't make her heart grow fonder. (pics)
Anyone get a good look at Lady Gaga's heels on "American Idol" last night? You might THINK you did, but that would be a cock-and-bull phallusy, seeing as her disco-stick shaped stillettos got the shaft from the censors
Will Smith is really roughing it on the set of Men in Black III. His trailer doesn't even have a third story
Salma Hayek officially kicks off the Cannes Film Festival. How appropriate
Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas celebrate 15 years of marriage. Griffith looks forward to many more years while Banderas spends each night praying for death
Sarah Michelle Gellar says the idea of a Buffy reboot is a "horrible idea," mostly because it would be better written than the show
Katie Price goes out without tons of makeup, looks like an extra from sword-and-sorcery movie. (pics)
Jennifer Aniston strips down to underwear, simulates oral sex for new film as a...well it doesn't really matter since there's only one reason you're going to watch it anyway
Miranda Kerr refused to let Orlando bloom go to the toilet while she was in labour. Luckily he had a dwarf nearby holding a bottle
Heather Mills hopping mad after breaking her shoulder while skiing
$38.4 million Andy Warhol work sells for $38.4 million
(on the red carpet)
Chelsea Handler finally admits to keeping quarters with 50 Cent
Roger Ebert is not a fan of Thor. "The story might perhaps be adequate for an animated film for children, with Thor, Odin and the others played by piglets"
Kim Cattrall is beginning to resent her "Sex and the City" role. Sarah Jessica Parker isn't saddled with such feelings
Plus-size model and "Road Trip" actress Mia Amber Davis dies at 36. It's a big loss
Wayne Newton gives Holly Madison sloths. Somehow, this ISN'T a double entendre
Butch Patrick, TV's Eddie Munster, diagnosed with cancer. I hope Grandpa Munster has something in the lab for this
Wed May 11, 2011
Dolores Fuller, Ed Wood's muse, dies at 88. Ed Wood fans to wear angora armbands in remembrance
Worry not, "Chuck" fans - NBC is still so deep in the toilet they renewed the show for a fifth season. Sometimes ridiculous incompetence DOES work out for the best
All "Good Eats" must come to an end
Hugh Grant almost replaced Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men." I dare say that such a replacement would've been winning, old chap
Princess Beatrice to auction off the most ridiculous hat at recent royal wedding. With pic of ridiculous hat which is strangely the third most ridiculous thing in the picture
The fifteen worst things about the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film. What, did they only watch the first half hour?
Olivia Wilde would love to play Lara Croft. The casting director, however, would have a couple of problems with this
Kermit the Frog gets further with Vanessa Hudgens than any other Farker has ever dreamed
Okay, at this point who's NOT in The Hunger Games?
"The Hobbit" update: Hugo Weaving signs on, Saoirse Ronan drops out, and Morgan Freeman had nothing to do with the movie in the first place
Things you do not want to see in a headline: Chaz Bono shows off boob scars
'Family Guy' actor's mom says show is corrupting today's youth, hopes to see program canceled
Bree Olson did a photo shoot for Playboy, which is great news for people who have never heard of Google
Katie Holmes hires step-daughter as intern after she threatened to eat Suri
Uma Thurman demonstrates how to emerge from a car in short dress and still keep your dignity intact . Paris, Britney unavailable for comment
Emma Watson named 'world's best dressed woman'. MASTERIO FASHIONISTA (pics)
Friends of murdered MTV staffer mystified, said they figured Punk'd was forgotten and people would kill Jersey Shore and Teen Mom staffers first
Lindsay eligible for early release. Before she skanked out, she helped subby to many early releases
Fox cancels everything but "Fringe"
Davy Jones happy 'monkeeing' around with new wife half his age. In other news, anyone remember Davy Jones?
Jean-Claude Van Deaf
Katy Perry still DDoesn't unDDerstanDD why people maDDe such a big DDeal over the Sesame Street appearance she starreDD in that proDDucers ultimately pulleDD from the show
Middleton family objects to bikini snaps saying they sting, leave temporary red marks
Your first look at the new Thundercats toys, and they loo--WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A SNARF TOY?
Tue May 10, 2011
The Situation's father, The Senior Situation, is really farking pissed at The Situation, releasing a string of videos called "Fark the Little Fark." Now that's a situation (video)
Fuel costs and Seth Green are responsible for Disney's dismal earnings in Q1 2011
The New Video from The Game to face The Ban from The MTV and The BET
Fergie says it was hurtful not being invited to the Royal Wedding, wonders why people keep asking her about her humps
Selena Gomez now officially on kill list of every 13-year-old girl worldwide
Baby I plant corn this way
"The Walking Dead" team anxious to braaaaaaaaaaainstorm with Stephen King
(Some House Call)
House fills out prescription for one last season, according to Hugh Laurie: "The end of that season, right now, looks like the end of the show"
Like everyone else, Jennifer Lopez embarrassed by her past with Jay Leno
John Wayne once captured a KGB assassination team on the Warner Bros. lot, mock-executed them, and convinced them to defect. Wait, what?
Johnny Depp is making the rest of us look bad
Barry Sonnenfeld will make a film that will answer the age-old question: in a fight between aliens and dinosaurs, who would win?
Quentin Tarantino's letter to a 13 year old "From Dusk Till Dawn" fan
Jackie Cooper's will is badass: "I give to such persons so contesting or objecting the sum of FIVE DOLLARS ($5.00) and no more"
Courtney Love dating Kurt Cobain. No, this isn't a repeat from 1991
Why Bollywood is better than Hollywood
Andrew Zimmern dishes about his unpalatable past
New Real Steel trailer makes up for bad dialogue with robot punching
University of Chicago to host "Jersey Shore" academic conference, to address burning issues such as: "What, exactly, is the Guido?", "I'm not white, I'm tan" and "Why do guys cook and girls fight?"
Charlie Sheen discusses running joke #1, catchphrases #3 and #5, and being a piece of #2
Father of actress N'Bushe Wright found dead N'storage chest N'basement
And now, for memoirs completely different
The curious case of Drew Carey
How to get a straight guy to quit smoking in record time (Sponsored link)
Vin Diesel on Fast Five: "I wouldn't be surprised if there is some Oscar talk around this"
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is getting remade. Again. And this time, in 3-D. Yeah, let's rehash even more awful movies
What's the dumbest celebrity baby name you've ever heard? Well, forget about that one, someone's ramped the baby-naming derp up to 11
"Take your pants off before you fight," and other things Yoko Ono ordered me to do
Is Thomas Ian Nicholas going to be in the next "American Pie" movie? Let him check his schedule. Okay, he's in
A look back at Steven Spielberg's worst movie. No not that one. Not that mess either. Yep, that one
Not news: Al Pacino plays mobster. News: he's not the mob boss. Fark: he's playing second fiddle to Vinny Barbarino
MTV producer found shot to death on street. LAPD says case will be tough to crack, as there are no videos
Sarah Jessica Parker proves that big manes are back. (Pics)
The economy is so bad that Paris Hilton is forced to pump her own gas. The horror. (pics)
Kat Dennings says "I have a boner" and then fuchsia trapezoid helicopter squids
The quick brown Fox renewed the lazy dogs
Having been married to Billy Zane is no longer the worst thing that's happened to Kelly Brook
Arnold Schwarzenegger to Maria Shriver, wife of 25 years: "hasta la vista, baby"
Mon May 09, 2011
Rob Marshall, Johnny Depp both confirmed to ruin The Thin Man
The Kermit the Frog Retrospective
Sarah Jessica Parker trots her offspring around New York
BIO Channel greenlights reality series featuring dim bulb Bristol Palin
What do you do after winning a Golden Globe, a SAG Award, and an Oscar? You quit acting. Wait, what?
Justin Bieber defends himself against "brat" allegations... but not very well
Ralph Macchio performance on DWTS still a go, but doubts per cyst
Alicia Silverstone gives birth. It was such a joyful and momentous occasion that she ended up forgetting about "Batman & Robin"
Whitney Houston to return to film after 15 years. I hope she can remember her lines
Mel Gibson's Beaver trimmed by box office competitors
Lady Gaga: "In a lot of ways, I'm really delusional about my success." Gee, ya think?
The Mystique character trailer reminds us that there were seven women painting Jennifer Lawrence's naked body for hours to make her look like that
Ke$ha gets sleazy. This is a repeat, yet it isn't a repeat
Terry David Mulligan willing to break the law for the final chapter of his book. Canadians ask "What law?", while Americans and the rest of the world ask "Who?"
"Most Embarassing Celebrity Commercials" includes Cortney Cox selling tampons, Steve Carell for fried chicken, Evangeline Lilly promoting phone sex
The top 10 most cloned videogames
You know that dream you have where you leave the house and you're not wearing pants? Jessica Simpson did that on Saturday
Christina Aguilera steps out for date night and it looks like she's forgotten something. Is it: A) her pocketbook, B) her cellphone, or C) her clownpaint makeup?
"Twilight" director signs up for "The Biatch Posse." Yeah, that sounds about right
Fark-ready headline: "Aside From the Vampires, Lincoln Film Seeks Accuracy"
(Comic Book Movie)
A guy who's in "the know" over at Marvel posts the plot synopisis for The Avengers...on IMDB
Russell Brand goes out while wearing a pair of...AAAAAAAAHHHHH THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING (with 'you have been warned' pics)
Pink furious over pink ass at Pink Taco. Pink
Awesome: having your wife blindfold you, put perfume on her chest and motorboat you. Absolutely terrifying: your wife is Khloe Kardashian. Where's the Drano?: the "perfume" is a unisex scent she created
A teary-eyed Vieira finally made her big announcment on TODAY. She was upstaged a week ago by bin Laden, relegating her departure news to a less active reporting cycle. (vid)
Paula Abdul to join US X Factor. Drug tests inconclusive as to whether or not she is taking Charlie Sheen
C-C-Colin F-F-Firth c-c-can't s-s-shed s-s-stutter h-h-he u-u-used f-f-for K-K-King's S-S-Speech
David Hasselhoff confronts Piers Morgan over that drunken cheeseburger video: "It was put on websites, including your own... and that hurt my feelings"
Bill O'Reilly to guest star as himself on "Rizzoli & Isles." You can't explain that
LiLo takes a major step toward her full recovery
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" actress Dana Wynter dies at 79. No, there isn't a replacement pod
Katy Perry jumps off Auckland Harbour Bridge. Don't get too excited - every bridge in New Zealand has a bungy cord attached
New York Times apologizes to legion of furious readers for story error. Not about politics or religion, it was much more serious than that: the name of the sword used by Bilbo Baggins in the Hobbit
The 25 greatest cleavage moments in Food Network history (consider it not safe for work)
I don't know what the hell a Justin Bieber is, but "CSI" actress Marg Helgenberger called it an insufferable little monster
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