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Sun August 29, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Digital Spy)   Mary-Louise Parker tells Bill O'Reilly where he can shove his falafel  (digitalspy.com) (81)
(Yahoo)   "Skank vapor" led police to Paris Hilton Vegas arrest  (news.yahoo.com) (39)
(NJ.com)   Will Brian Cranston win a well-deserved Best Actor statue? Will Modern Family get its due as the funniest comedy? Will Jimmy Fallon be funny? It's your official Emmy Awards Discussion thread. LGT nominees  (nj.com) (355)
(PedalToTheMetal)   BBC fires world's worst kept secret, The Stig. Replacement already in place  (pedaltothemetal.com) (76)
(LA Times)   Obscure and misunderstood cartoonist you've probably never heard of had some elite supporters, but much of the rest of the country just didn't get it  (latimes.com) (51)
(Contact Music)   Nicki Minaj's publicist denies she and Drake got married, saying it was a "joke." And yet we still have no clue who the fark Drake or Nicki Minaj are  (contactmusic.com) (38)
(Contact Music)   Police called to Bokeem Woodbine's home because the actor was "freaking out." Huh. Bokeem Woodbine. There's a name I never expected to hear again  (contactmusic.com) (29)
(Some Guy)   In the evil parallel universe, Reggie Jackson played Geordi Laforge, Denise Crosby was Councilor Troi, and there was only one possible choice for Wesley Crusher  (lettersofnote.com) (123)
(Radar Magazine)   Lindsay Lohan's father to open rehab center. That's like Lindsay opening up an acting school  (radaronline.com) (10)
(Some TARDIS)   The next season of Dr. Who will be split into two parts, the first airing in Spring 2011, the next that fall. He promises to give us an exciting cliffhanger for the most boring Doctor  (digitalspy.com) (101)
(Examiner)   "Avatar was a perfectly serviceable epic in December, but let's face it: the 'Avatar: Special Edition' re-release isn't the Second Coming. It's not even the Sixteenth Coming (which is, of course, Pootie Tang)"  (examiner.com) (104)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Christian film industry praying to make Central Florida the home of "Holywood"  (orlandosentinel.com) (47)
(The Sun)   Lady Gaga takes a page from Amy Winehouse's book. Sadly, it's the wrong page  (thesun.co.uk) (32)
(YouTube)   Tony Danza inappropriately touches a new generation of children  (youtube.com) (23)
(Some Harpo)   Oprah Winfrey wants to host her talk show's series finale inside a stadium next fall. Wrigley Field would work perfectly; it's never used after August  T-Shirt  (digitalspy.com) (14)
(News.com.au)   Thanks to Mad Men, 'nanna knickers' becoming popular. Say it ain't so  (news.com.au) (95)
(Deceiver)   James Cameron: "DVDs are wasteful." So... you're saying that I *shouldn't* buy three different versions of "Avatar" on DVD?  (deceiver.com) (49)
(Pop Eater)   Um, Zoe Saldana, Calvin Klein underwear, pictures, and video (SFW)  (popeater.com) (45)

Sat August 28, 2010
(Contact Music)   Pamela Anderson believes she's better at miming to being a bikini model. Aren't they the same thing?  (contactmusic.com) (19)
(Hollyscoop)   Paris Hilton's lawyer wants you to put your Jump to Conclusions Mat away  (hollyscoop.com) (34)
(People Magazine)   Brooke Shields breaks her hand during rehearsal, doctors immediately diagnose her with post-partum depression  (people.com) (20)
(Contact Music)   Tom Cruise crashes teenage fan's dirt bike. HE CAN'T HANDLE THE TORQUE  (contactmusic.com) (27)
(Daily Mail)   It still doesn't look right and I'm not getting over it any time soon. Bonus: nice buttoning job there, Emma  (dailymail.co.uk) (94)
(Examiner)   Bad news, Eli Roth haters: "The Last Exorcism" quintupled its production budget on Friday alone, meaning that we're very likely to see more films under the "Produced by Eli Roth" banner in the near future  (examiner.com) (64)
(Maybe They're Dancers)   Drake, Nicki Minaj get married unbeknownst to anyone. Explanation as to who the hell these two are and why it matters...?  (digitalspy.com) (45)
(Irish Post)   Smoking hot Irish-born morning TV show host is predicted to be unmitigated disaster, due to her stunning beauty intimidating show's audience of average British housewives  (irishpost.co.uk) (73)
(io9)   A handy reference guide to all the different types of heroes and villains in science fiction  (io9.com) (51)
(Cinematical)   What 2010 summer movies deserve sequels, besides "Eat Pray Love," of course  (cinematical.com) (39)
(Fox News)   Paris Hilton's preschool teaching days are over before they begin  (foxnews.com) (126)
(The Sun)   UK "Lost" fans to watch all 121 episodes at the theater. SPOILER ALERT: it's still not going to make any damn sense  (thesun.co.uk) (43)
(Starpulse)   Karissa Shannon's 15 minutes might expire if there's no tape. Karissa who? Exactly  (starpulse.com) (41)
(Daily Mail)   With Hugh Grant nearing his 50th birthday, the Daily Mail decides to track down Divine Brown & interview her (w/photos)  (dailymail.co.uk) (25)
(Deadline)   Disney becomes the first studio in history to have two films gross $1 billion in the same year. Walt Disney would nod in approval, but his head is on ice  (deadline.com) (46)
(Topless Robot)   If "Calvin & Hobbes" mastermind Bill Watterson came out of retirement and worked on comic books, he'd come up with this  (toplessrobot.com) (90)
(Canoe)   "The Klingon orchestra is made up of various indigenous Klingon instruments, some that have never been heard on earth before." NERRRDDDS  (cnews.canoe.ca) (42)
(Guardian.com)   Rupert Murdoch is too powerful, says powerful media boss that monitors every British subject's home for TV radiation and sends armed tax collectors to get his taste or jail them like the vermin they are  (guardian.co.uk) (54)

Fri August 27, 2010
(io9)   Douglas Adams novel to be turned into BBC TV series. No, not that one  (io9.com) (48)
(Contact Music)   Stephen Baldwin is organizing a crack team of volunteers to help clean up the Gulf Coast. Shockingly, it's not a casting call for a bad SyFy Channel original movie  (contactmusic.com) (8)
(Cinema Blend)   John Cusack to play Edgar Allan Poe in "The Raven." That, actually, doesn't sound all that bad  (cinemablend.com) (41)
(Some Guy)   Joey Lawrence injured on set of his new TV show. In other news, Joey Lawrence has a new TV show. Whoa  (digitalspy.com) (23)
(Starpulse)   Courtney Love fails to realize that a black skirt really shows off white powder  (starpulse.com) (39)
(New York Magazine)   The only answer is that aliens (or Nazis) have already invaded and are running Hollywood  (nymag.com) (41)
(Neatorama)   An astronomer says Star Wars is more realistic than Star Trek, Han shot first  (neatorama.com) (140)
(NYPost)   Good: Lindsay Lohan vows to get her career back on track. Bad: She's using Britney Spears as a role model  (nypost.com) (52)
(The Hollywood Reporter)   The villains in Machete are all white, so naturally the movie is racist against whites and Robert Rodriguez's passive-aggressive way of telling us the immigration debate is wrong. I had to make sure this wasn't from Breitbart  (hollywoodreporter.com) (136)
(Examiner) Video M. Night Shyamalan presents the trailer for his latest: "Escalation", about people trapped on an evil office escalator. Say what you will about the guy, at least he's starting to have a sense of humor about his own FAILs  (examiner.com) (63)
(Cinematical)   Michael Cera will play a teen slacker in a new series for FX. So nice to see he's stretching his acting chops  (cinematical.com) (72)
(Topless Robot)   The twelve best guest stars/cameos that graced the set of Mystery Science Theater 3000, including Leonard Maltin (he gave Laserblast 3 stars) and Torgo  (toplessrobot.com) (61)
(Some Guy)   Tinsley Mortimer shares her bikini secrets. Step 1: Transplant your giant head onto a tiny model's body  (stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com) (256)
(Den Of Geek)   Is the Japanese anime industry in trouble?  (denofgeek.com) (445)
(Onion AV Club)   Someone somewhere took the time to not only watch Furry Vengeance, but they watched it again with the commentary and provide this hilarious examination of said commentary  (avclub.com) (33)
(Daily Mail)   Today's Aniston news: She has signed up to go topless for a role in a Judd Apatow film. Looks like she is finally taking her career seriously  (dailymail.co.uk) (132)

Thu August 26, 2010
(io9)   Wasteland Weekend: Three-day Mad Max reenactment in the Southern California desert  (io9.com) (52)
(Gawker)   John Mayer tells HuffPo to go fark itself  (gawker.com) (64)
(Entertainment Weekly)   Francis Ford Coppola, Eli Wallach, and Jean-Luc Godard to win Oscars. You won't see it happen on TV, of course, but be sure to enjoy 40 minutes of interpretative dance numbers  (popwatch.ew.com) (41)
(Celebitchy)   Kim Kardashian wants to know what a Bieber is. Why don't you have a big seat over there  (celebitchy.com) (40)
(Some Heiress)   Paris Hilton wants to be a preschool student. Sorry, teacher. She wants to be a preschool teacher  (tvnz.co.nz) (41)
(Boing Boing)   RT @50cent I can't belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I'm rich f*ck this I'm going home I don't need this shiat  (boingboing.net) (31)
(Contact Music)   Angelina Jolie thinks marriage is "lovely", eating "quaint" and acting sane "old-fashioned"  (contactmusic.com) (13)
(Coming Soon)   Will Forte to leave "Saturday Night Live." Our long national nightmare will just get new cast members  (comingsoon.net) (79)
(Daily Mail)   Madonna requires her children schedule their "mommy time" in advance and will only allow them to see her in 15-minute increments  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(Seacoastonline.com)   Taylor Swift spotted back in Kennebunk. Can you get that from ticks?  (seacoastonline.com) (16)
(Some Crappy TV Show)   Actor who played the Blue Power Ranger reveals he left the show because the cast and crew were homophobic and used slurs in front of him. To be fair, they were sick of him whining about wanting to be the Pink Ranger  (digitalspy.com) (80)
(10tv.com)   "Dexter" action figure stocked on Toys R Us shelves, is met with absolutely no controversy or outrage whatsoever  (10tv.com) (78)
(Contact Music)   Uncle Leo wants you to stop calling him "Uncle Leo"  (contactmusic.com) (40)
(Cinematical)   Joss Whedon talks The Avengers, says the restrictions placed on him by having such a big cast, with so many big names makes him be more creative  (cinematical.com) (17)
(FilmDrunk)   Human Centipede sequel to be 400 percent more medically accurate  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (75)
(Yahoo)   This season's 'Dancing with the Stars' cast: Bristol Palin, Florence Henderson, Rick Fox, and Margaret Cho. So... where's the 'stars' part?  (omg.yahoo.com) (59)
(Digital Spy)   Jessica Alba praises Lindsay Lohan's acting skills in "Machete." For those of you playing along at home, that's like Scott Peterson praising Charles Manson for his manners  (digitalspy.com) (25)
(Contact Music)   John Mayer to get relentlessly nagged by Jennifer Aniston again  (contactmusic.com) (15)
(Cinematical)   The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences wants to fark with your party plans  (cinematical.com) (10)
(Time)   Today is Macaulay Culkin's 30th birthday. This is not okay  (newsfeed.time.com) (78)
(Some Guy)   Kevin Jonas: Sex was not worth the wait. "After we did it, I was kind of like, that's it?"  (theblemish.com) (147)
(Some Guy)   The 23 Hottest Rockstar Daughters  (brobible.com) (110)
(Contact Music)   Lindsay and Dina Lohan offered $1 million to cohost a radio show together. This is what we've come to, America  (contactmusic.com) (26)
(Some Guy)   Star Wars plus A.A. Milne equals Wookie the Pooh, and it is just as awesome as it sounds  (thejailbreak.com) (35)
(Examiner) Video Miley Cyrus uploads creepy video of herself loudly cracking her knuckles, giving a lapdance to a stranger in front of her mother, getting spanked by her mother with a hairbrush, and begging for more. What the fark is wrong with Miley Cyrus?  (examiner.com) (104)
(Some Guy)   "If I had known the show would be so disgusting, I would have never buried my face in her crotch with the cameras rolling. I don't want to lose my job working with children"  (miaminewtimes.com) (48)
(Contact Music)   After getting into a car wreck, the last person you'd expect to come to your rescue is Gary Busey, but it can happen  (contactmusic.com) (44)
(Contact Music)   Wolf Mankowitz, the man who wrote the good Casino Royale script and was involved in the production of Dr. No, was once investigated by MI-5 because they believed he was a Communist spy  (contactmusic.com) (31)
(MSN)   When an over-rated movie meets a dying tv format, you get "Hurt Locker: The Reality Show"  (specials.msn.com) (39)
(Some Guy)   Just some guys in the Philippines watching Miss Universe. Shiat gets real at 2:25  (zadan.nl) (117)
(io9)   Twenty-five classic science fiction films everyone needs to see at least once. Come for The Empire Strikes Back, Stay for Wrath of Khan, and bask in the glow of District 9  (io9.com) (424)
(Onion AV Club)   After the success of Iron Man, Marvel to bring another "ironic" icon to the Silver Screen as it works on an Iron Fist movie  (avclub.com) (60)
(BBC)   Record-holder who watched 28,000 movies has died. His last film was believed to be 'The Switch'  (bbc.co.uk) (64)

Wed August 25, 2010
(Deceiver)   Lindsay Lohan: "Drugs made me do drugs." Well, I can understa... THE HELL?  (deceiver.com) (79)
(Awards Daily)   Disney/Pixar withdraws from the Annie Awards, most likely because they're still hurting over that whole "Kung Fu Panda beat Wall-E" thing  (awardsdaily.com) (100)
(Digital Spy)   Lady Gaga wants exhibit at the Louvre. It's tentatively titled "Dogs Playing Poker Face"  (digitalspy.com) (23)
(Gawker)   Tila before the Tequila... and meth, and coke, and Ambien, and Vicodin  (tv.gawker.com) (62)
(cfnews13.com)   U.S. Marshals fail to take Wesley Snipes to prison. This sounds very, very familiar  T-Shirt  (cfnews13.com) (31)
(Den Of Geek)   According to the rumor mill, Marion Cotillard could be purrrrrrfect for the role of Catwoman in the follow-up to "The Dark Knight"  (denofgeek.com) (135)
(Yahoo)   Tiger Wood's wife breaks silence in interview with People magazine. Quoted numerous times as saying "Cha Ching"  (sports.yahoo.com) (75)
(BBC)   Paul Hogan has passport confiscated due to unpaid taxes.That's not a tax bill. THIS is a tax bill  (bbc.co.uk) (29)
(New York Daily News)   Barbara Walters plans male version of "The View", forgetting that most communities already have sports-talk radio stations  (nydailynews.com) (75)
(Some Guy)   Tom Cruises into a wall  (thaindian.com) (54)
(Contact Music)   Dustin Hoffman decided to come back at least one more Focking time  (contactmusic.com) (35)
(Some Balloon Blonde)   Heidi Montag is desperate to get a "boob reduction." I thought her divorce from Spencer Pratt was a go  (digitalspy.com) (111)
(My Fox DC)   The original Kermit the Frog, that looked like a lizard and was made with ping pong ball eyes and green felt from an old coat thrown out by Henson's mother, being donated to the Smithsonian  (myfoxdc.com) (66)
(MSNBC)   Jon Gosselin to write book about parenting skills. Hopefully it's thick enough to make a good coaster  T-Shirt  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (39)
(Den Of Geek)   Why we shouldn't be afraid of letting kids watch scary films. Not least because otherwise they'd be stuck with Shrek sequels  (denofgeek.com) (94)
(io9)   Steven Spielberg, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci have lined up their next project, and it's a doozy; they're adapting Joe Hill's Locke & Key for television  (io9.com) (17)
(Contact Music)   Freedom is just another word for Lohan to hit the booze  (contactmusic.com) (49)
(Daily Mail)   Leave Britney alone? Not when she's looking like this  (dailymail.co.uk) (107)
(News.com.au)   "Twilight" crew scared by shootout between Rio de Janeiro police and gangsters. Better luck next time, Rio de Janeiro police and gangsters  (news.com.au) (26)
(Contact Music)   Billy Joel set to crash onto the set of Glee  (contactmusic.com) (39)

Tue August 24, 2010
(Contact Music)   Jennifer Aniston plans to leave romantic comedies in an attempt to suck in other genres  (contactmusic.com) (82)
(Gawker)   Woody Allen biatches about New York. Inexplicably, this is not a repeat  (gawker.com) (42)
(People Magazine)   Instead of calling 911, Paris Hilton uses Twitter to inform everyone there's a knife-wielding robber inside her home  (people.com) (81)
(io9)   The rise and fall of quicksand in American movie culture  (io9.com) (43)
(Gamma Squad)   Futurama creates a new math theorem. Spoilers  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (92)
(Entertainment Weekly)   Shamble on over for this new four-and-a-half minute trailer of AMC's upcoming "The Walking Dead"  (ausiellofiles.ew.com) (138)
(New York Daily News)   NJ votes see the cast of "Jersey Shore" as just another piece of trash dropped in the state by New Yawkers  (nydailynews.com) (35)
(io9)   Joss Whedon says he will find a way to put more spunky, wise-cracking, pop culture-referencing, ass-kicking females in The Avengers  (io9.com) (74)
(Variety)   There's a movie in the works based on the real-life story of a cat who predicts the deaths of nursing home residents with 100% accuracy  (variety.com) (52)
(Chicago Tribune)   60 seconds with Bruce Campbell. (Also a link to the campaign to get him to host SNL)  (chicagonow.com) (38)
(Some Whovianist)   "I'm sick of having to discuss Tardis engineering with people who smell like damp sandwiches"  (thedailymash.co.uk) (86)
(Fox News)   Not News: Ex-wife of a celebrity gets revenge on former spouse with tell all book about his infidelity. FARK: the celebrity is Bozo the Clown  (foxnews.com) (51)
(Vanity Fair)   Today's Fark ready headline: "Universe Largely Unaware of Miss Universe Pageant"  (vanityfair.com) (49)
(Spike)   Ten great films that happened to bomb at the box office  (spike.com) (379)
(Haaretz)   Finally, a glimmer of sanity from the Middle East: Israel's Channel 2 punished for exceeding reality TV quota  (haaretz.com) (9)
(Fox News)   Lohan claims she was not addicted to cocaine, misdiagnosed as ADD, which caused false positives on her drug tests, planted the cocaine in her car and on her person. She demands apology and compensation from the courts  (foxnews.com) (91)
(LA Times)   In America, Jackie Chan is known for doing his own stunts in kung fu movies. In China, he's known to curse every product he endorses  (latimes.com) (28)
(Huffington Post)   Miley Cyrus's character in "LOL: Laughing Out Loud" loses her virginity, smokes marijuana, kisses a female on the lips, gets drunk and accidentally shows her mom, played by actress Demi Moore, her Brazilian wax. The aristocrats  (huffingtonpost.com) (80)
(Wikipedia)   Happy birthday to Academy Award winning actress Marlee Matlin. I said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS MARLEE MATLIN  (en.wikipedia.org) (42)
(CNN)   Comedian Martin Short's wife dies after battle with cancer  (cnn.com) (81)
(Cinematical)   People who believe in the crackpot theory that something significant will happen at 11:11:11 on 11/11/11 are trying to prevent the new film 11/11/11 from getting made. Yeah, they've found a way to ratchet the crazy up to 11  (cinematical.com) (52)
(Some Guy)   Cheryl Hines and her husband Paul Young are getting a divorce. Every time she goes away, she takes a piece of him with her  (accesshollywood.com) (39)

Mon August 23, 2010
(Contact Music)   The Heidi Montag sex tape doesn't include Spencer Pratt, just Montag and a Playboy Playmate  (contactmusic.com) (90)
(Celebslam)   Jude Law has a bit too much to drink, unleashes his chest hair  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (33)
(Digital Spy)   Leonardo DiCaprio to make a dreamy $50 million from "Inception"  (digitalspy.co.uk) (33)
(Digital Spy)   Acclaimed director Christopher Nolan is a big fan of Michael Bay. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?  (digitalspy.co.uk) (70)
(Breitbart.com)   Someone's got his panties in a bunch because Ebert compared Sarah Palin to Hitler  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (116)
(People Magazine)   Jennifer Aniston to reunite with Cox for Cougar Town. Giggity  (tvwatch.people.com) (39)
(Some Guido)   Jersey Shore's The Situation will earn $5 million this year. Let that sink in  (digitalspy.com) (110)
(YouTube)   Today would have been Snuggles' 50th birthday (Not safe for work language)  (youtube.com) (29)
(Some Guy)   20 actors who deserve your support. Yes he's on there and so is she  (cinemablend.com) (130)
(Examiner) Video The 70th Annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally-- where the men are men and the women are leathery-- gets a surprise visitor: Pee Wee Herman. If this doesn't make your day, nothing will  (examiner.com) (86)
(Chud)   Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock to star in unabashed Oscar bait  (chud.com) (39)
(Cinematical)   Angelina Jolie is set to make a movie about a woman who finds love during the Bosnian War. Well, if you can't find love amongst mass genocide, where can you find it?  (cinematical.com) (27)
(Daily Mail)   And the Stig is...  (dailymail.co.uk) (123)
(BBC)   X-Factor talent show admits to autotuning its entrants. It was never real to me, dammit  (bbc.co.uk) (20)
(AskMen)   Top 10: Franchise-Destroying Film Moments. Are you telling me that a refrigerator couldn't survive a nuclear blast? Those things are cold on the inside, perfect protection  (askmen.com) (273)
(Weekly Dig)   Kblaflkj oiag;blqu kwhelkchyoi cxhkjlngklkatnoxi ceakl sdnac lkufkl asjdflka sjfl; ajsdf ljasdlf; jasdlfja sld fjal skd, mxznv kjoflka sdvnlkasdn (Julia Roberts) voin lkdnvk ladf bioawn efklan sdfkl  (weeklydig.com) (81)

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