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Sun July 25, 2010
(Some Guy)
The 25 worst aging actors in Hollywood. Eye bleach, glue for shattered fond memories not included
(Some Guy)
It has taken 90 years, but Kafka's final works have been saved from a pair of evil old ladies and a horde of feral cats. Wait, what?
The Big Bang Theory panel featured some great guest stars, including Barenaked Ladies and some guy wearing a clown sweater. In other news, Wheaton Trifecta complete
(scifiscoop)
McG on "Terminator 5" in development: "It will be more of a chase movie with a new Terminator that is on your ass". Because that's never been done before, right?
(Jezebel)
Sorry ladies, but the bros from Girls Gone Wild don't need your consent to record and publish your antics
Nickelodeon adapting "Fairly Oddparents" for live-action movie. As bad as that sounds, at least M. Night Shyamalan will not be directing
(Some Guy)
The second funniest movie of all time turns 30
Fringe will feature even more mind-bending alternate universe action next season
Your first rook at the new Godzirra redesign
(Some Vapid Girl)
Paris Hilton voted perfect vacation buddy in online poll beating out Tila Tequila and Kim Kardashian. Apparently this vacation is in the 9th level of hell
Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels and other Dr. Who villains swarm a London stage during the Dr. Who Prom. The performance was marred, though, by the appearance of Matt Smith
(Some Guy)
Warped quadriplegic cartoonist John Callahan dies. Here's hoping Heaven has an access ramp
When Cameron Diaz blows the transmission in her Kia (yes, a KIA), the Stig comes to her rescue
(Some Guy)
Town celebrates 25 years of "Stand By Me," complete with blueberry pie-eating contest and return of the dead body
(Some Guy)
That "stabbing" at Comic Con was just a scuffle between friends, and no one was stabbed in the eye, just scratched on the eye. So, basically, the internet blew things out of proportion, which has never happened before
Hollywood fears 3D bubble has burst. That explains Rudy Rucker shopping a W-rated version of Flatland and Spielberg talking up Jaws=a1e1a1e2a1e3a1e4
Die Hard 5 is "imminent," says Bruce Willis, who was looking for the word "inevitable"
Sat July 24, 2010
(FOX5 San Diego)
If you think comix attract 160,000 people to San Diego's annual geekfest, you haven't seen the Babes of Comic-Con
(Some Biatch)
Coming soon to Broadway: Animal Farm: The Musical. Written by Elton John
Audiences prefer their blockbusters to be unsalted
Law & Order: Los Angeles has found their District Attorney. And it may not be Sam Waterston, but Alfred Molina is just as good
Hot female celebrities who are over 40. List fails for lack of Diane Lane and inclusion of reality skank
Joss Whedon talks about his vison for The Avengers. Sorry Nathan Fillion fans, no Ant-Man, but the rest is pretty cool
(Peace FM Online)
Lindsey Lohan is probably out of jail as we speak
Catherine Zeta Jones reveals she loves bacon sammiches
(Some Director)
Short interview with 2001 star, Keir Dullea, about the making of possibly the greatest science fiction movie ever. Answers many burning questions, especially how to pronounce "Dullea"
TV presenter swallows mosquito on air, suffers severe asthma attack
New improved slave girl Leia, as portrayed by Adrianne Curry (probably SFW)
The night before Lindsay Lohan went to jail, did she: 1.express remorse 2. spend a tearful night with family 3. work with her mother to lock in mega dollar contracts for exclusive print and TV interviews
(Access Hollywood)
She's the Favre: Amanda Bynes has unretired
Skyline could be the next District 9, and probably will be better than the godawful Independence Day
New Tron Legacy Trailer. Geeks and Haters to the right please(NSFW language)
Fri July 23, 2010
Bill Murray's madcap dumpster dive for David Letterman backfires
MTV is now cited as the network with the most gay characters. In a close race, narrowly missing the honor this year was C-SPAN
It appears that within the next 48 hours at Comic Con a Wonder Woman movie is going to be announced for 2013, with David Goyer attached to write, direct, or possibly both
(Hollywood Dump)
Guillermo del Toro to remake Disney's Haunted Mansion in a way that might actually be entertaining
Let's face it: "Machete" hasn't looked all that good. Now that the red-band trailer's arrived, however, Subby believes he might drop $10 to see more of Danny Trejo rapelling down a building on a man's intestines (NSFW)
(Some Fat Charlie)
Neil Gaiman has finally finished a script for movie adaptation of Anansi Boys
Karl Urban to play the new Judge Dredd. Yes...yes I will watch that
Some guy with the most British sounding name ever wants to be Doctor Who, will have to settle for a lifetime of hearing "No shiat, Sherlock" jokes instead
(Premiere)
Five movie heroes who didn't actually do anything heroic
Times were great back in the Mad Men era - real cocktails, nice suits, race and gender discrimination
Joss Whedon confirms he's directing The Avengers. How's he going to turn Captain America into a tough, wise cracking girl?
(Las Vegas Sun)
Beatles impersonators sue Beatles impersonators for impersonating Beatles
Rare photo of Tori Spelling eating
"'Salt" is a throwback to pre-"Bourne" spy movies where a subterranean level of stupidity was acceptable so long as there was plenty of mayhem"
Brad Pitt has cast himself in the staring role in World War Z, which he owns the movie rights to. Here's hoping that means it may now actually get made
The BBC series "Being Human" chronicles the attempts by three roommates -- one a vampire, one a werewolf, and one a ghost -- to live decent, normal lives in a world inhospitable to them. But who are the real monsters?
Mel Gibson: "I want jew blood on my hands". And no, this is not a parody from the Onion
BA Baracus had pretty lousy friends
Actress trying to make her bones is suing Bones star for trying to bury his bone. If only there was a phrase to describe a mistake of this magnitude
(Insert Witty Caption Here)
Two of the worst things around today, Justin Bieber and CSI, together at last
Shakira + hot pink bikini = Farkers not reading the rest of this headline
In a reimagined version of an iconic TV show, Grace Park will play a character originally portrayed by a man. This is not a repeat from 2004
The best thing about "Burn Notice" is being turned into a prequel movie
...alright, who said we needed a Spice World 2?
The Saw franchise has just been named the highest grossing horror series of all time by the Guiness book of World Records
Thu July 22, 2010
(Political Carnival)
Reality TV tries to divide by zero by having Kate Gosselin go to Alaska with her 8 kids to meet Sarah Palin: "Sarah will even teach Kate how to avoid bears"
(Some Guy)
Next on the Hallmark Channel, Sandra's estranged husband, Jesse, buys the motorcycle shop next door to her grocery store. Will love bloom again?
Cosplay pics from comicon. Let the hot nerd show begin
If you don't already know her. Meet the next Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay was doing just fine in the clink until the wardens removed her hair extensions. Then she lost it. The poor thing
Christopher Nolan is the bellwether for a new kind of filmmaker, one that successfully merges Hollywood classicism with the best of the post-modern revision
NYPD union lashes back at Ice-T's claims they harrassed and lied to him. In other news, Ice-T has his SVU character arc for next season
Sixteen year old "actress" says her vibrator is her best friend, drawing the attention of Perez Hilton, then it gets weird
Alan Moore: "They offered me the rights to Watchmen back, if I would agree to some dopey prequels and sequels." Since it's Alan Moore, you probably know how well that went
Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make China so unique
UK newspaper fails to understand photographic foreshortening, thinks it has caught celeb blowing smoke on her toddler. Bonus: Toddler is called Winston
(Some Guy)
Someone with a good eye notices that new Saw 3D poster completely is ripped out of Playstation 3's socket
Disney out of ideas, is going to ask for Pixar's assistance in making the next Muppets movie to ensure it doesn't suck
Atlas Shrugged, the movie. Part one of a trilogy is already in the making
10 things you didn't know about Ghostbusters
Prosecutors say that now that his conviction is undisputed, Wesley Snipe's bail should be revoked and US marshals should take him directly to jailto prevent the actor from pulling a disappearing act
Nicolas Cage shows that a wife is not just for making a sammich or fetching beer. She's also useful for carrying all the luggage. To be fair, it's probably all hers
(HollywoodDame.com)
Rapper Ne Yo hired an underage professional French prostitute. I am still trying to figure out what a non-professional prostitute is
Megan Fox irked 'Transformers 3' replacement called next 'It' girl
(Some Guy)
"It's going to feel great signing my name Buzz Lightyear and introducing myself to people at parties"
(Some Guy)
Actor who played Gollum apparently type-cast
Gov Schwarzenegger compares Mel Gibson to the BP oil spill says Hollywood is no place for a sexual harasser and misogynist, they, of course belong in the governor's mansion
Tabloid has to pay Bradgelina for claiming the couple was splitting, when in fact they weren't. Which raises the question. If the couple DOES split up, does the tabloid get their money back?
Tonight, the Academy honors Gloria Stuart, the old lady from Titanic who recently turned 100. With a "You definitely would've hit it back in the day" pic
"Twilight" has done to feminism what M. Night Shyamalan has done to the prospect of "The Last Airbender" sequels
Despite repeated denials from Todd Phillips, "The Hangover 2" is confirmed to take place in Thailand. Here come the obvious lady-boy jokes and warmed-over gags involving a tiger
(Some Guy)
I'll take "70 year old Canadian game show hosts" for $1000, Alex
Speculation of which hollywood actor would be best fit for playing the barefoot bandit begins. It's not news, its CNN
Vanilla Sky voted "most confusing film of all time" by a group of people who have never seen Manos: The Hands of Fate
Boss vans, kick-ass tunes, and wet t-shirt contests: just some of the things that made "Supervan" the major freak-out of 1977, man
Finally, after the shaved head incident, Britney's hair has grown back and looks- OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Christina Applegate soon to be married with children
Wed July 21, 2010
(Some Guy)
Hilarious promo for Comedy Central's upcoming roast of David Hasselhoff
Better, stronger, faster. Six Million Dollar Man FINALLY coming to DVD
(Some Guy)
The movie version of Captain America will dress like the flag but won't be waving it
Karen Traviss, the woman who left the Star Wars expanded universe because George Lucas f*cked with her backstories, has taken to writing Halo novels
(Some Guy)
Lindsay Lohan wallpapers her jail cell with pics of famous lesbians
Just like Fark on Fridays, "Imperial Bedrooms leaves you with a terrible, smutty, unsettled feeling"
Comedy Central hires "Family Guy" creator Seth McFarlane to lead the upcoming Roast of David Hasselhoff, which means the network made good on their promise to work 200% more abortion, Nazi, and pedophile jokes into this year's show
(Pop Rox Nation)
Today's superheroes probably no match for these real-life historical supervillians
Leonardo DiCaprio complains that Victoria's Secret models only want him for his fame. Tough problem to have, buddy
I don't know what a Justin Bieber is but apparently it just bought a farkin' Lamborghini
It's cute when celebrity couples do all the same things together, like die in the same house of the exact same thing
(Topless Robot)
Looks like Aang wasn't the last air bender after all
Adam McKay says Simon Pegg has to be Wee Hughie in the upcoming The Boys big screen adaptation
Shocking news out of Hollywood today where it's been revealed that Madonna is a jealous, bitter old hag
I don't know who this Justin Bieber is, but apparently his hair isn't nearly as nice as this other guy's
Britney has been referred to in any number of ways in the past. You may now call her the 'Best-Selling Female Artist of the Decade'
Quantum Mechanix collectibles has recreated the 10th Doctor's sonic screwdriver replica; it will include lights and a cell phone vibrator when activated. Wait, the sonic screwdriver is going to vibrate? Oh, the possibilities
Australia bans gay zombie porn
Hollywood teamsters may go on strike. Producers will know it's happening when the napping fat guy is covered by a strike sign
(Some Guy)
Paris Hilton furious over 'topless' pic snapped by paparazzo, afraid group of eleven people on Earth that haven't seen her naked may be reduced
Sylvester Stallone thinks Tim Burton and Michael Keaton's "Velcro muscles" ruined action movies
(Time.com)
Comic-Con: "This is not nerd Woodstock. It is nerd Altamont"
Riddle me this Farkers: can Joseph Gordon-Levitt make us forget all about Jim Carey's pink Spandex unitard and Val Kilmer's Bat-Nipples?
Chinese object to sculpture since it seems to imply that violence against Tibetan nuns is somehow wrong
Happy birthday, Ernest Hemingway, whose writing style would never have allowed for a headline short enough for a Fark greenlight
Having survived Jerry Jones, former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson to be a contestant on 'Survivor: Nicaragua'
L.A. Sheriff's office fearful they can't hold Lindsay Lohan over 14 days before her STD's mutate enough to put everyone else in prison system at risk despite her being held in isolation
British drinks company announces new Lady Gaga flavored tea. Early taste testers apparently calling it "a bit too salty"
Set phasers to awesome: Star Trek 2 set to begin filming in January with a release date of June 29, 2012
(Some Guy)
Lindsay Lohan's first meal behind bars will be Turkey Tetrazzini. Thanks for that update there Lou
Robert Pattinson says Kristen Stewart makes him uncomfortable, like when she tries to kiss him or touch him in any way
It had to happen eventually, but there's finally been a film critic willing to stand up and yell that the emperor has no clothes
"Wipeout" is an attempt to create a game that is worth playing, which may conflict with the intentions of the show it is mimicking
A Memphis embalmer is auctioning autopsy instruments used on Elvis Presley. Included are forceps, rubber gloves, piano and stool sample
Naked Girls Reading. Yup, it's exactly what it says it is (with pic slightly Not safe for work)
Jennifer Aniston goes topless to sell new Hefty Bag full of flaming poo. Well, perfume really, but you didn't even read THAT far, did you? Probably sprained your mouse finger
Tue July 20, 2010
American TV networks replacing expensive, authentic American shows with cheap, bacon-scented dramas made in Canada
Armond White, famously contrarian movie critic, goes on one of the most popular film podcasts, /Film, to discuss Inception. Here's a taste: "I do think it is fair to say that Roger Ebert destroyed film criticism"
Don Draper isn't the only suave one on "Mad Men." Here's a montage of the ladies' best one-liners
The producers of Lost explain the ending of Inception. No doubt this will be a clear and consice explanation of all the issues without any confusing sidestories
That whole "NBC not airing Conan's potential Emmy win" thing? Well, it appears that this isn't entirely NBC's fault. Jay Leno, "The Marriage Ref", and "Medium" still NBC's fault, however
(TV Geek Army)
History Channel's Chasing Mummies features an "Archeological Fellow" who is actually an actress/model. No word on who is playing the mummies this season
Really, Tim Burton? A 3D board-game movie?
Ok, which one of you Farkers threw confetti at Lindsay as she walked into jail? (w/ vid)
(Some Guy)
Mel Gibson has been creeping out his female co-stars for years
Jersey Shore: Swimsuit Edition. And they all look pretty hot. Except that Snooki chick. She's just a nasty little dwarf
It may be starting to dawn on the striking cast of Jersey Shore that half-literate Guidos are not exactly a rare commodity
Phone Interview: Michael Lohan Talks about Lindsay Going to Jail Today
It's not good for M. Night Shyamalan when audiences starting mocking his movie trailers. "The screen showed, 'From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.' Then everyone erupted in laughter."
Sam Raimi directing Wyatt Earp sci-fi western comic adaptation. Subbie will watch as long as there are no Kirsten Dunst singing scenes
(Some Venkman)
Bill Murray reveals that Ghostbusters 3 seems to have been put in the isolation chamber. Walter Peck smiles triumphantly
Kim Kardashian's ass goes for a stroll down the beach
(Some Guy)
In a move that shows pure class, NBC won't televise Conan's Emmy nomination category
(Some Guy)
Sam Rockwell shows you how to make a proper entrance
It was one of the greatest movies of all time, until it wasn't: The rise and fall of "Inception"
Finally: a journalist asks M Night Shyamalan why his career has gone to the doldrums. Er, M Night didn't take it too well, though (with video)
Hollywood and a tech company are creating a service to allow people to access their movies and tv shows anywhere, are calling it UltraViolet. Much like the movie the lead will be sexy but the content itself will suck ass
Robert Shapiro, the lawyer who helped OJ Simpson get away with two murders, gives up on Lindsay
Hugh Hefner says seeing a naked woman "never loses its magic." Oddly enough, the women don't say the same about Hef
Mon July 19, 2010
Mickey Rourke to play a gay rugby player. Well that's just the craziest...you know what? That sounds about right
Paris Hilton denies being arrested for pot because she thinks she has a reputation to protect or something
What do you do right after you get off of a flight and you're still drugged out of your mind from the sedatives you took? Apparently, go on live television
Farkers hate slideshows, but they love Christina Hendricks. Choices, choices
Failing your way to success: Despite low ratings and crappy shows, NBC makes a second-quarter profit of $607 million
Gwyneth Paltrow wants to bring Kabbalah to the Hamptons, so that rich NYers can experience the joy of the goofiest Los Angeles cult since the Manson Family
The biggest box office flops that Hollywood hyped at Comic-Con
Great news in the Mel Gibson saga. The whole dysfunctional lot of them could all be headed off to jail
(Some Buster)
How many times do I have to tell you, there is always an Arrested Development movie in development
Bill Murray's biggest regret? Garfield, but that's because he thought it was a Coen Brothers movie: "At least they had whats-her-name. The mind reader, pretty girl, really curvy girl, body's one in a million?"
Holy shiat, Ke$ha doesn't look like a poorly made up tranny for a change
How cool is Luis Guzman? Cool enough to dress up as Robin on the set of the "Arthur" remake and still be cooler than Russell Brand, who's dressed as Batman
What happens when a director makes a movie in which everything that happens is a dream and never really occurred? If it's M. Night: FAIL. If it's Christopher Nolan: GENIUS (No spoilers in headline, yes in article)
Spencer Pratt on his split with Heidi: We love each other but I'm a famewhore and I'll never grow out of it
Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel is joining the cast of 'Celebrity Rehab.' No, she's not addicted to having affairs with famous people and then cashing in on it by selling her story to the tabloids
(Some Guy)
Glenn Beck may or may not have started going blind in 1990, which might have something to do with what happened to that girl
Our long national nightmare is over. Paul the octopus picks team Jacob
After only one weekend, Inception is already ranked #3 on IMDB fans' top 250 movies of all time, behind only Shawshank and The Godfather
David Cross joins Will Arnett and Mitch Hurwitz in new Fox comedy. You blue yourself just thinking about it
Cast of "Jersey Shore" goes on strike. There's probably not enough hair gel, silicone, Affliction t-shirts, body spray and Valtrex in the world to pay them adequately
Tom Felton lands a record deal. How draconian
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