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Sun April 11, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(News.com.au) Spiffy Russell Crowe receives star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?  (heraldsun.com.au) (40)
(Starpulse) Weird When even Robert Downey Jr. is baffled by your methods, you know you're seriously unhinged. I'm looking at you Mickey "show me dead pictures of my dogs" Rourke  (starpulse.com) (46)
(The Consumerist) Obvious Dr. Oz doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. I for one am stunned a doctor who shills advice on television is a clueless fraud  (consumerist.com) (167)
(Donatello Was the Shiat) Amusing The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arguably ruled the late 80s early 90s. But did you know their comic books were a source of leftist propaganda?  (toplessrobot.com) (82)
(Ed Hardy Quarterly) Obvious Jon Go$$elin is "open to a new TV project" with ex-wife Kate. Gee, I wonder what could make the two reunite for TV?  (digitalspy.com) (36)
(Cinematical) Spiffy David Lynch is working on a sequel to Mulholland Drive? Maybe this one can actually make sense, but then again, that would mean David Lynch couldn't have anything to do with it  (cinematical.com) (80)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly Um, game show. Popular in the 1970s. Triangles. Celebrities. Dick Clark. Being brought back by CBS to replace cancelled soap opera. Pass  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com) (68)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious From the sound of things, David Simon's Treme is going to be 100% awesome  (ew.com) (37)
(NBC.com) Video Tina Fey announces "The Sarah Palin Network" on SNL and makes the show worth watching again, even if only for a night  (nbc.com) (330)
(Some Guy) Sad Dixie Carter passes away at age 70. Good night, Designing Woman  (etonline.com) (114)

Sat April 10, 2010
(Wait, What?) Obvious There is a vast left-wing conspiracy to conceal Oprah's lesbianism  (benjaminshapiro.com) (166)
(Examiner) Cool Cool: Conan O'Brien gets his own billboards all over the country. Cooler: They're digital and update themselves with live Tweeting from Coco. Fark.com: And he's already taken a swipe at Duke  (examiner.com) (93)
(More Magazine) Spiffy Dana Delany wants to be the female Clooney; you will, however, need to clear a considerable amount of your calendar for the epic sex marathons. (With smoking 53-year-old hotness)  (more.com) (115)
(TMZ) Obvious MTV worried the entire world wants to Snooki-punch the whole cast of "Jersey Shore"  (tmz.com) (100)
(Some Guy) Strange Amy Winehouse rushed to the hospital because of agonizing pain. The strange thing is, this had nothing to do with drugs. "She is waiting for a decision on whether the implants have to come out or not"  (couriermail.com.au) (29)
(Huffington Post) Sappy 9th time's the charm, Liz Taylor engaged to man 29 years her junior. This time it's forever  (huffingtonpost.com) (52)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy More than you ever wanted to know about twelve commercial stars, and...wait, I'm sorry, Flo the Progressive lady is forty? What the hell? She doesn't look a day over thirty  (ew.com) (135)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Now that he's free of Jenny, Jim Carrey decides to weigh in on the Tiger Woods cheating scandal. Bonus: He blames Elin  (huffingtonpost.com) (70)
(Starpulse) Sad Put away your blue paint, 'Analrapist' business cards and denim cut-off shorts, David Cross says Arrested Development movie "will never happen"  (starpulse.com) (101)

Fri April 09, 2010
(The New York Times) Amusing 'The Addams Family' musical gets scathing review: "Like going to a Halloween party in a strait-jacket... you're stuck in the darn thing for the rest of the night, and it's really, really uncomfortable"  (theater.nytimes.com) (28)
(Thetan Times) Dumbass Juliette Lewis says she and fellow Scientologist Tom Cruise should not be ridiculed for their religious beliefs. Maybe we'd stop if your chosen "religion" wasn't so f*cking stupid  (digitalspy.com) (164)
(BBC) Followup Survivor producer wins temporary immunity from Mexican police  (news.bbc.co.uk) (11)
(Fox News) Obvious Now that she doesn't have access to Jim Carrey's bank account, Jenny McCarthy closes her school for autistic children. Yep, closed, definitely closed   (entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com) (57)
(wptv.com) Silly Ex-boyfriend calls Mischa Barton a heifer. Predictably the actress has a cow  (wptv.com) (43)
(Toronto Star) Obvious She's Martha Stewart on steroids, Carol Brady on crack, and in a pop culture landscape of Botoxed mannequins and siliconed reality shills, she is, not surprisingly, oddly refreshing  (thestar.com) (19)
(FilmDrunk) Hero Star of Kick-Ass on being asked to play another superhero: 'It's just ridiculous. Producers just aren't thinking. It's why shiat movies get made.'  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (33)
(Examiner) Video The cast of "Parks and Rec", Jimmy Fallon, and The Roots perform the most epic version of "We're Not Gonna Take It" you've ever seen. Ron farking Swanson, indeed  (examiner.com) (51)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton partied together at an LA nightclub this week, an event shell-shocked bartenders will forever remember as "Black Wednesday"  (nydailynews.com) (18)
(nwi.com) Sad He's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead. 'Wizard of Oz' Munchkin coroner Meinhardt Raabe dead at 94  (nwitimes.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Obvious Sam Worthington, do you understand how lucky you are to star in the highest-grossing movie of all time? "Excuse my language -- f**king hell, I do"  (showbizandstyle.inquirer.net) (29)
(1010WINS) Amusing In the world of celebrity stalkers, this guy is toward the bottom of the totem pole  (1010wins.com) (13)
(Waco Trib) Cool If Willie Nelson and Robert Duvall are the character witnesses at your criminal trial, you're probably (a) a pretty cool guy and (b) totally guilty  (wacotrib.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Misc Sick of all the celebs dying, the media decides to let us know who is still with us that should be dead  (kptv.com) (57)
(Contact Music) Spiffy Michael J Fox is happy to have given up booze, because he prefers his martinis stirred anyway  T-Shirt  (contactmusic.com) (40)
(Breitbart.com) Silly How the left's teachable moments killed jazz venue Bradley's. It's always nice to end the work week with some Michael Moriarty insanity. I'm trying to think how to write the gavel sound from Law & Order; is it doink-doink?   (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (51)
(SlashFilm) Interesting Spike Jonze is collaborating with Arcade Fire on what could only be called the hipsteriest movie ever  (slashfilm.com) (40)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Scary Four actors join the cast of "Big Momma's House 3," have their shame surgically removed  (hollywoodreporter.com) (25)
(LA Times) Misc Head of MPAA sheds some light on how they determine movie ratings, and who they even are: Ten parents from across the country who have nothing to do with the film industry  (latimes.com) (160)
(Contact Music) Strange Shania Twain to televise her comeback. That don't impress me much  (contactmusic.com) (65)
(The Sun) Fail Robert Pattinson to play Kurt Cobain in Hollywood biopic "Smells Like Sparkly Spirit"  (thesun.co.uk) (100)
(AP) Scary "Oprah After Dark" *shudder*  (hosted.ap.org) (22)
(Some Shiatcom) Amusing After losing his crappy TV show Scrubs, Donald Faison may lose his delightful home  (digitalspy.com) (65)
(Life.com) Scary Note to famous best-selling author: when you snort so much blow that you have to write with cotton wads stuffed in your nostrils to prevent blood dripping on your typewriter, maybe it's time to get smart and, you know, smoke crack instead  (life.com) (98)

Thu April 08, 2010
(IGN) Cool Here's a possible first look at the team logo for the movie version of The Avengers  (movies.ign.com) (35)
(Uproxx) Amusing 10 reality TV personalities most deserving of a grisly death. Only ten?  (uproxx.com) (82)
(LA Times) Fail Old and busted: Nicolas Cage can't act. New hotness: Nicolas Cage can't sell his foreclosed mansion  (latimes.com) (38)
(Celebslam) Dumbass Bad: Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock with a hooker. Really Bad: He used her credit card to pay for it. Worse: She has a 29.99% APR  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (55)
(SlashFilm) Interesting Sam Rockwell was almost Tony Stark. Well, that just ridic...no wait, that would have been pretty farking awesome too  (slashfilm.com) (65)
(Spike) Amusing Seven hottest movie geek girls. Subby will save you the trouble of clicking: Yes, no, yes, YES, no, yes, NO  (spike.com) (142)
(Fox News) Fail Underexposed Obama to appear on American Idol. To quote Simon, "That's pathetic."   (whitehouse.blogs.foxnews.com) (78)
(io9) Interesting The biggest tearjerkers in Science Fiction. If you don't cry watching The Iron Giant you're dead inside  (io9.com) (211)
(News.com.au) Strange Hugh Jackman to play a character who has testicles on his chin. If the rumors about his personal life are correct, this won't be much of a stretch for the Aussie actor  (news.com.au) (34)
(SlashFilm) Video First Iron Man 2 viral video launches, promoting "better living through technology"  (slashfilm.com) (33)
(AOL News) Stupid MTV looking for Persians to fill cast of next reality show. This is madness  (aolnews.com) (45)
(AdFreak blog) Ironic Stripper sues for loss of "integrity as an adult entertainer" when she is featured on a Scores billboard, presumably because she was (somewhat) clothed in it  (adweek.blogs.com) (10)
(Onion AV Club) Amusing A candid interview with Norm MacDonald, the second funniest SNL Weekend Update anchor (after Dennis Miller) and all around great guy  (avclub.com) (104)
(Gawker) Video Benjamin Linus wants to ride horses naked with you, dammit, and if you don't then you'll be sorry  (tv.gawker.com) (23)
(Variety) Stupid Are you excited about the possibility of a "Johnny English" sequel? Tough shiat, it's still on the way  (variety.com) (26)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Whoa, Pamela, you never go full Lohan. With pics of Pam Anderson leaving nighclub in stained dishevelled dress  (dailymail.co.uk) (43)
(Comedy Central) Amusing For those of you that don't understand Facebook  (southparkstudios.com) (49)
(Armchair Commentary) Fail Cool: Top 100 films of the 1990s. Fail: Includes Starship Troopers, but not The Shawshank Redemption  (armchaircommentary.com) (144)
(IGN) Obvious Why be the second tier anti-heroine Black Widow, when you can be Catwoman?  (movies.ign.com) (51)
(Daily Mail) Sad The late Patrick Swayze could realistically say the immortal line, "Pain don't hurt," because he was numb from alcohol all the time  (dailymail.co.uk) (36)
(Toronto Sun) Stupid Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston organized a secret meeting. The plot thinnens  (torontosun.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Interesting British men think Ursula Andress, Sigourney Weaver, and Carrie Fisher are Hollywood's all-time hottest screen goddesses. British women think it's Audrey Hepburn, Julie Andrews, and Julie Andrews  (couriermail.com.au) (323)
(Hollyscoop) Strange Ashton Kutcher goes without makeup or airbrushing for the new issue of Marie Claire  (hollyscoop.com) (64)
(Starpulse) Interesting Kirstie Alley has kept lemurs as pets for over 30 years and currently has nine. How nine pieces of meat running around in her home have survived that long is baffling  (starpulse.com) (52)
(MSNBC) Obvious Surviving members of The Doors pleased with new documentary about Jim Morrison, happy to continue earning money by whoring out Morrison's dried up corpse for the rest of their lives  (msnbc.msn.com) (58)
(Some Guy) Silly Ten movie characters you don't want to be locked in a room with (1 pic borderline unsafe)  (joblo.com) (122)

Wed April 07, 2010
(Starpulse) Scary Kirstie Alley no longer goes on blind dates after finding herself with a poorly-endowed date. This mentally scarring headline is brought to you by Brand X Brain Bleach, the right product for all your brain-bleaching needs  (starpulse.com) (108)
(ktla.com) Sad "CSI" stuntwoman killed in motorcycle crash. It seems like these kinds of accidents... *puts on his sunglasses* ... will stunt your career. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH  T-Shirt  (ktla.com) (45)
(Breitbart.com) Obvious Whitney Houston hospitalized with "nose and throat" problems, most likely because the lines before her concerts are so long  T-Shirt  (breitbart.com) (29)
(FilmDrunk) Stupid Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste, this college is offering you the chance to get a master's degree in vampire literature  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (31)
(Some Berserker Rage) Unlikely Hugh Jackman praises Wolverine 2 script, saying "It's the best one we've had." Well, after the first movie, you really only have no place to go but up  (digitalspy.com) (51)
(Examiner) Hero Not News: Slash and his band appear on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Fark.com: ...and Slash wears an "I'm With Coco" button. Slash, subby salutes you  (examiner.com) (53)
(Starpulse) Stupid I don't know what the hell a Justin Bieber is either, but it's apparently trying to start an acting career  (starpulse.com) (85)
(Contact Music) Obvious Eva Longoria Parker confused by Nicollette Sheridan's legal battle, shiny objects  (contactmusic.com) (17)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Having cheated on America's Sweetheart, Jesse James sees his current and future TV career disappear like his marriage  (nydailynews.com) (68)
(Coming Soon) Interesting "Iron Man 2" is on track to break the opening day record of "The Dark Knight." If only the movie had militant Smurfs defending trees  (comingsoon.net) (43)
(Celebslam) Sad Lindsay Lohan has finally hit rock bottom. Snooki commands a higher appearance fee than her  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (69)
(Huffington Post) Sappy Tracy Morgan gets choked up talking Tina Fey, then takes off his shirt and proceeds to dry hump Stedman  (huffingtonpost.com) (65)
(Variety) Spiffy "Chuck" should become "Sarah." Plus the actress who plays her is really, really hot  (weblogs.variety.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Obvious Bullock's security team tossed her house looking for the Sandrachez tape. Which is kind of odd since it doesn't exist, right?  (newser.com) (128)
(Cinematical) Unlikely The remake of Friday the 13th is so scary Jackie Earl Haley scared himself by looking in the mirror during filming  (cinematical.com) (82)
(Some Ghost Whisperer) Stupid In further proof that mean are complete dumbasses, Jennifer Love-Hewitt admits that a lot of men cheated on her. Jesus, this is worse than f*cking around with Sandra Bullock  (digitalspy.com) (124)
(ABC News) Amusing 'Jersey Shore' cast members to write coloring book about tanning beds and hair gel  (abcnews.go.com) (17)
(NJ.com) Cool See you in another life, brother? Lost, struggling mightily in its final season, goes to the well one more time and pull out it's time traveling Scotsman to save the day  (sepinwall.blogspot.com) (482)
(Some Midichlorian) Obvious New footage from the season finale of The Clone Wars shows that the Jedi are, in fact, major assholes, chief among them Mace Windu  (toplessrobot.com) (112)
(Expecto Profitonum) Obvious J.K. Rowling may write another book in the Harry Potter franchi$e, becau$e there'$ ju$t that much $tory left to tell. I mean, that ha$ to be the rea$on, all tho$e unan$wered que$tion$  (digitalspy.com) (180)
(Contact Music) Sick Eighty-three year-old Hugh Hefner is ready to marry his twenty-three year-old girlfriend. Apparently, they've ironed out all the wrinkles involving the age gap  (contactmusic.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Hero Dangerous Betty White is destroying our notion of what "grandmothers" are supposed to be, also member of a "celebrity militia group," Christian group claims  (christwire.org) (71)
(UPI) Sad Buzz Aldrin eliminated from "Dancing with the Stars," goes back to his old job of punching punkasses  (upi.com) (47)
(Filmmaker Magazine) Strange Big Lebowski porn parody announced, will presumably show us what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps (link and video SFW)  (filmmakermagazine.com) (77)
(Toronto Star) Cool Boba Fett actor Jeremy Bulloch looks back on 30 years of "The Empire Strikes Back," disturbingly obsessive fans  (thestar.com) (108)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Jenny McCarthy down to just one socially awkward annoying child  (nydailynews.com) (63)
(FilmDrunk) Asinine The remake of House Party is gonna make House Party look like House Party 3; also news on the Real Genius remake  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (68)
(Starpulse) Obvious Kelly Osbourne scared of sober sex. It's a good bet her fiance feels the same way  (starpulse.com) (43)

Tue April 06, 2010
(Contact Music) Obvious Lindsay Lohan's dad to wed a former tabloid reporter in the ultimate marriage of convenience  (contactmusic.com) (7)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Lindsay Lohan versus Perez Hilton: whoever wins, we lose brain cells  (contactmusic.com) (29)
(The Sun) Interesting So, you hate the 3D fad? What about a 3D movie with Piranhas, Kelly Brook and a wet t-shirt contest?: "There are a lot of 3-D boobs"  (thesun.co.uk) (83)
(New York Daily News) Followup Dirty Sandrachez tape didn't happen  (nydailynews.com) (86)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid New game show has contestants answer trivia on top of a skyscraper. When they lose, their cash is dropped over the side. Better yet: Drop the ABC execs who greenlighted this idiocy  (hollywoodreporter.com) (61)
(Cracked) Amusing Act now and you can recieve your very own "Write Like Nicholas Sparks" Kit Free poster layout with every order  (cracked.com) (33)
(Fox News) Weird Weird things stars make their hired help do. "they could be fired if they looked directly into the actor's eyes, and they should 'back out and vanish immediately' when Stallone enters"  (foxnews.com) (126)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Harrison Ford rumored to co-star in Jon Favreau's upcoming "Cowboys vs. Aliens." No word on which side he'll be joining yet  (latinoreview.com) (27)
(Some Guy) Sad Face it; if you were partially responsible for exposing the world to Madonna, Ricky Martin, Paula Abdul, Joss Stone, Andrew Dice Clay and Jessica Simpson, you probably couldn't have held out near as long  (bumpshack.com) (37)
(NJ.com) Amusing Following in the wonderful tradition of Moonlighting and The Office, Chuck commits TV suicide by getting rid of the entire premise of the show  (sepinwall.blogspot.com) (98)
(Contact Music) Obvious Joe Quesada says Chris Evans is the "perfect" Captain America. Well, fanboys are gonna immediately hate this movie because it has Quesada's approval  (contactmusic.com) (79)
(Den Of Geek) Obvious RELEASE THE SEQUEL  (denofgeek.com) (40)
(Now Magazine) Stupid Sarah Jessica Parker consults a psychic to save her marriage. So much for using horse sense  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (32)
(Bitten and Bound) Obvious Is a biatch slap worth $20 million? Nicollette Sheridan found herself a lawyer who says it is  (bittenandbound.com) (20)
(New York Daily News) Dumbass As part of her plastic surgery, non-star Heidi Montag had her back "scooped." Asked what this is, she of course answered: "I actually didn't know"  (nydailynews.com) (49)
(Contact Music) Interesting Zachary Quinto promises to beg Leonard Nimoy to return for the next "Star Trek" movie. Meanwhile, William Shatner forlornly stares at his phone and wonders why no one is calling  (contactmusic.com) (80)
(The New York Times) Amusing MSNBC suspends David Shuster for daring to try out for the other last place cable team  (mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com) (80)
(Fox News) Sad You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart. Springsteen's mistress gets divorce  (foxnews.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Gaggles of Trekkies expected to beam down to Las Vegas this Saturday as defunct "Star Trek: The Experience" auctions off props from Quark's bar  (lasvegassun.com) (90)
(Spike) Amusing Top Jerks in film. They're all here except Steve Martin  (spike.com) (171)
(Some Guy) Followup A judge has dismissed the $750 million lawsuit of Stan Lee Media Inc v. Stan Lee and Marvel Inc. The official findings will be released in six variant covers with a special edition foil embossed 'timeline of events' prelude and aftermath  T-Shirt  (digitalspy.com) (14)
(CBC) Cool Cuba Gooding Jr. & Chrisian Slater, obviously desperate for work, are filming an action/thriller movie in Ottawa, making this the most exciting thing to happen there since... uh... well, ever  (cbc.ca) (42)
(SlashFilm) Fail So George Lucas has two choices when it comes to a Star Wars TV show: an HBO sci-fi drama with a high budget and deep, meaningful themes? Or an animated sitcom version with Seth Green? You guess which is moving forward  (slashfilm.com) (187)

Mon April 05, 2010
(Political Wire) Cool Aaron Sorkin, creator of The West Wing, may do a movie on the crash and burn of John Edwards  (politicalwire.com) (46)
(Starpulse) Sick Courteney Cox wants you to see HER arm fat and stretch marks - not a body double's arm fat and stretch marks  (starpulse.com) (66)
(Daily Inquirer) Amusing Jesse James and Sandra Bullock performing their own home version of The Aristocrats, coming soon to an internet near you  (thedailyinquirer.net) (271)
(Contact Music) Obvious Shia LaBeuof can't handle his liquor, act  (contactmusic.com) (55)
(Starpulse) Obvious It had to happen eventually: "The Golden Girls - An All MILF XXX Parody." Ummm....no sir, I don't like it a bit  (starpulse.com) (69)
(Guardian.com) Spiffy Diane, this week marks the 20th anniversary of Twin Peaks  (guardian.co.uk) (102)
(Spike) Amusing 10 Celebrities Who Almost Died in the Funniest Ways, Buddy Holly not included  (spike.com) (75)
(People Magazine) Interesting At age 17, Miley Cyrus is getting her own place. Advice: Don't answer the phone. It's Lindsay Lohan, and she wants to come over and hang out  (people.com) (113)
(The Sun) Amusing Kate Moss looks like a Muppet. Your argument is invalid  (thesun.co.uk) (48)
(Digitalspy) Obvious Last night's Apprentice proves Donald Trump will only tolerate hair more ridiculous than his for approximately four weeks  (digitalspy.com) (32)
(io9) Interesting Why don't Warehouse 13, Eureka, Stargate, Sanctuary, and Battlestar Galactica all exist in the same story universe? Well, obviously it's because that's entirely too much win  (io9.com) (104)
(The Sun) Unlikely Doctor Main Suspect says that Michael Jackson killed himself  (thesun.co.uk) (23)
(Examiner) Amusing Top 5 films that Hollywood should re-release in 3-D. Subby knows what you're thinking, and yes, of course "Deliverance" made the list  (examiner.com) (78)
(Coming Soon) Stupid Megan Fox might star in the "Red Sonja" remake. No word yet on how this will affect the production of "Vapid Car-Washing Skank: The Movie"  (comingsoon.net) (105)
(Some Guy) Interesting Clooney strikes again  (wptv.com) (102)
(Contact Music) Cool Photographers help Orlando Bloom fix his stalled bike. I'm guessing that it was a tailpipe obstruction  (contactmusic.com) (31)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing 'I know I was intended to be terrified by the release of the Kraken, but all I could think of was [Conan] O'Brien shouting "Release the bear" and then some guy in a bear suit runs out and sits on the lap of a guest.'  (rogerebert.suntimes.com) (93)

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