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Sun February 07, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Coco) Sad Behold, the carnage that was Conan's Tonight Show studio  (aaronbleyaert.tumblr.com) (90)
(Contact Music) Stupid Pete Wentz is ready to have another baby. Huh, didn't realize males of his species carried their young  (contactmusic.com) (19)
(The Scotsman) Strange Top Scottish playwright pens "Macbeth II: Electric Boogaloo" set immediately after conclusion of Shakespeare's original  (news.scotsman.com) (21)
(LA Times) Silly Captain America's dorky outfit explained in new movie: He's now a USO performer for the troops  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (105)
(Now Magazine) Stupid Hayden Panettiere reveals she's been working on recording an album for three years. She must have had the producers and writers of Heroes helping her out  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (51)
(Now Magazine) Stupid If you ever wanted to know what Kristin Cavallari from "The Hills" thought about Heidi Montag's plastic surgery... well... I'm very, very sorry  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (11)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool The eleven greatest Super Bowl commercials of all time. Subby doesn't even drink pop, but after seeing the Cindy Crawford with that Pepsi, could definitely go for one  (ew.com) (107)
(Topless Robot) Amusing The five coolest and five stupidest superhero weaknesses. Yes, the Green Lantern's weakness to the color yellow is represented here  (toplessrobot.com) (79)
(Now Magazine) Dumbass Ashton Kutcher: "I think every day should be a day of romance. Then, on Valentine's Day, you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them." I don't think you'll have any trouble with that last part, Ashton  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (24)
(Some Geeks) Cool Neil Gaiman confirms he's written an episode of Dr. Who, which is slated to air in 2011 and be better than any episode ever  (geeksaresexy.net) (74)
(YouTube) Spiffy Happy birthday to Eddie Izzard. Here's the immortal "Cake or Death?"  (youtube.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Silly Dr. Phil goes Full Douchebag after hearing Brittany Murphy's widower had done interviews with people other than him. "I've never seen Dr. Phil so angry"  (peoplemagazinedaily.com) (63)

Sat February 06, 2010
(Entertainment Weekly) Fail Mickey Rourke, star of "Spun," "Harley Davidson & Marlboro Man" and "Love In Paris" says Megan Fox is the best actress he's ever worked with  (popwatch.ew.com) (41)
(LA Times) Amusing Teenage girls still the bane of sci-fi geeks' existences as "Dear John" is set to dethrone "Avatar" at the weekend box office  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (72)
(Gawker) Stupid NBC wants you to forget that Conan O'Brien ever hosted the Tonight Show, so it has deleted all content related to "conan o'brien" from its website. CLASSY  (gawker.com) (90)
(AOL) Fail NBC cafeteria attempts to honor Black History Month. They fail so hard even Wanda Sykes is offended  (insidetv.aol.com) (81)
(Contact Music) Followup Poorly tattooed Asian MySpace dwarf-slut Tila Tequila returns to Twitter. Much to the great shock of... Well, nobody, really  (contactmusic.com) (43)
(Pajiba) Interesting "And maybe, just maybe, it's a better thing to see Jack Shephard slack-jawed with curiosity and terror than to fully understand the thing he's looking at."  (pajiba.com) (28)
(the frisky) Interesting Drop whatever it is you were doing and watch Jessica Biel eat a chocolate-covered cricket (with video)  (thefrisky.com) (35)
(Cracked) Obvious "Watching Howard [The Duck] is an experience often compared with being tied down and having a family of magical leprechauns s--t in your eye sockets for an hour and a half"  (cracked.com) (77)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Keira Knightley: "Every time I do an interview with the English press, one of their questions is, 'How do you feel knowing that everyone thinks you're a s--t actress?' "  (huffingtonpost.com) (56)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Sad Struggling screenwriters everywhere about to be pushed over the edge by news that the "Stretch Armstong" movie is about to be made, starring one of those sparkly monster kids  (aintitcool.com) (21)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Lindsay Lohan's dad thinks she's changed. Well, maybe you should stop talking to the media about her and spend more ti-Oh, wait. They're paying you, aren't they?  (contactmusic.com) (23)
(Digitalspy) Stupid Man responsible for writing the terrible "Day the Earth Stood Still" remake given the challenge to write the "Daredevil" reboot. Guess it can get worse than the Ben Affleck version  (digitalspy.co.uk) (81)
(Rolling Stone) Amusing America's #1 Attention Whore to replace Simon Cowell. Bababooie  (rollingstone.com) (88)
(Daily Mail) Florida First look at highly anticipated Harry Potter theme park in Florida, which opens this Spring. Sadly, no Hermione ride  (dailymail.co.uk) (48)

Fri February 05, 2010
(io9) Interesting Dean Winchester: one of the greatest philosopher-heroes of our time, or a guy who just really loves hot chicks and cold beer?  (io9.com) (45)
(Contact Music) Asinine Correction - 100 problems  (contactmusic.com) (77)
(Luxist) Dumbass For those who say Sinbad has never done anything funny: His bankruptcy lists 60 million in liabilities and 50 thousand in assets. Now THAT'S funny  (luxist.com) (61)
(TMZ) Amusing Snooki gets booed on live TV, responds the only way she knows how (with vid)  (tmz.com) (155)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Following in the steps of Jessica and Ashlee, a third brain-dead blonde Simpson gets a TV show  (hollywoodreporter.com) (24)
(Canoe) Obvious Brittany Murphy's creepy widower Simon Monjack said to be "stunned" that her cause of death doesn't jibe with his impeccably prepared PR campaign  (jam.canoe.ca) (34)
(Yahoo) Interesting Anne Hathaway: "Open up. More, more, ever so lightly... Now, slow it down ... just a little bit"  (omg.yahoo.com) (160)
(Some Guy) Cool DC versus Marvel Superbowl Lineup. What? No Ambush Bug?  (mania.com) (172)
(Some Guy) Interesting The highest-paid actor and actress in Hollywood: Harry and Hermione. Ron skulks back to his bunk  (monstersandcritics.com) (51)
(Starpulse) Strange Homeless woman harasses Leann Rimes. On closer inspection, police realized it was just a pissy Kelly Pickler  (starpulse.com) (23)
(Coming Soon) Interesting Sony puts in bid for the "Terminator" franchise. Good luck outbidding Cyberdyne Systems  (comingsoon.net) (30)
(Contact Music) Obvious 30 Seconds to Mars forced to cancel the premiere of their new documentary after a bomb scare. Apparently, someone realized just how bad the movie was  (contactmusic.com) (17)
(Contact Music) Silly Guys, next time you get mad at your woman for taking so long to put on her makeup, be thankful she doesn't get up at 3AM to start the whole process like Dolly Parton  (contactmusic.com) (66)
(Den Of Geek) Amusing Twelve of the best mustaches in the movies. Well, eleven awesome ones and one pathetic excuse for a mustache  (denofgeek.com) (130)
(Wired) Amusing Yeah, this list of StarWarsified band names is pretty funny, but I guarantee the humorists of Fark can do better. Voting enabled  (wired.com) (118)
(Yahoo) Obvious You all saw it coming; Frances Bean Cobain set to make her singing debut. Joining her on the track will be Gerard Way, Andrew WK and Weird Al Yankovic. Didn't see that one coming did ya, Nostradamus?  (new.music.yahoo.com) (59)
(Gawker) Spiffy You'd never have caught Walter Cronkite lounging in a speedo and a smile, and thank God for that: Katie Couric poses for some glamour shots  (gawker.com) (62)
(TV By The Numbers) Spiffy Science Channel reports excellent ratings for first full month of 2010, as science fans increasingly tire of ghosts, UFOs, fishermen, and non-sciency crap on their usual channels  (tvbythenumbers.com) (97)
(Some Shark Jumper) Dumbass Robert Knepper compares "Heroes" to Shakespeare. I'm assuming it's the fishing equipment and not the famous writer, because that would just be...oh. I see. Well, Mr. Knepper, you're a f*cking moron  (digitalspy.com) (70)

Thu February 04, 2010
(Now Magazine) Interesting What's causing a rift between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie... besides Jennifer Aniston standing outside their window and screaming "BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAD"  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (56)
(Contact Music) Interesting After seeing footage of the devastation in Haiti, Naomi Campbell decides the best thing to do is organize a fashion show for them. Thankfully, they all wear her size  (contactmusic.com) (10)
(Yahoo) Interesting Producers of "Avatar" complain that their motion-capture alien stars were snubbed for Best Actor and Actress nominations  (news.yahoo.com) (94)
(CNN) Sad Soap opera star Frances Reid dies at age 95. Will return in a few months with amnesia, marry her rapist, have an affair with her stepson, get divorced, turn evil, and die again. Surprise! It's really her twin  T-Shirt  (us.cnn.com) (22)
(Rolling Stone) Fail Here's a tip: When impersonating singer Paul Simon in an attempt to withdraw money from his account, keep in mind he's about the size of a Muppet  (rollingstone.com) (29)
(Gamma Squad) Sad The one guy standing between us and a "Watchmen Babies" movie has just stepped down  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (81)
(MTV) Followup Brittany Murphy's death ruled accidental due to her accidentally eating up too many drugs  (mtv.com) (69)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Adam Lambert claims he's bi-curious. So now's your chance, girls  T-Shirt  (starpulse.com) (74)
(Gawker) Video Jamie Foxx knows lots of famous people and you don't, so suck it  (tv.gawker.com) (20)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious It's official: Even the head of Taylor Swift's label admits she can't sing  (news-briefs.ew.com) (133)
(Starpulse) Obvious Ne-yo believes that right now is the best time to let us all know that he thinks Chris Brown's behavior with Rihanna last year as "unacceptable"; mainly because has a new single coming out  (starpulse.com) (21)
(Starpulse) Obvious Lindsay Lohan has a hoarding problem. Presumably, it involves hoarding cocaine, heroin, and meth  (starpulse.com) (51)
(MTV) Amusing Farkers, MTV is having a vote to see where the Jersey Shore mutants live for next season. Detroit is only barely in the lead. Let's fix that for them  (remotecontrol.mtv.com) (2103)
(Contact Music) Florida , Brandy's new boyfriend  (contactmusic.com) (117)
(Variety) Obvious Dan Brown's 'The Lost Symbol' has been greenlit, unlike this headline because it doesn't point out that he's an awful writer  (variety.com) (69)
(Variety) Stupid Kathy Bates and Whoopi Goldberg join the cast of 'I Can't Fap To This'  (variety.com) (36)
(Gawker) Followup Remember that clip of The Big Bang Theory without the laugh track and it was really weird and unfunny? Well, here's the opposite- Arrested Development WITH a laugh track, which is also weird and unfunny  (tv.gawker.com) (97)

Wed February 03, 2010
(Daily Mail) Scary Remember how hot Daisy Duke was? Yeah, hold onto that memory. (pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (119)
(Daily Mail) Misc John Travolta: "I was like a commander running around" in Haiti. Battlefield Earth experience finally paid off  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)
(New York Daily News) Amusing John Mayer: 'Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married'. "If Tiger Woods was single and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat', why would that ever hit the news?"  (nydailynews.com) (87)
(MTV) Asinine Leif Garrett auditioning for next season of "Celebrity Rehab"  (mtv.com) (34)
(Celebslam) Unlikely Having nailed every bar slut in Hollywood, John Mayer focuses his sights on America's sweetheart Taylor Swift  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (78)
(Starpulse) Asinine MacGyver creator is trying to stop MacGruber film. If only there was a man he could call that could fix this problem with little more than a paper clip and an elastic band  (starpulse.com) (74)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious Academy admits that they nominated higher than usual number of flicks for Best Picture in hopes of getting more people to watch the Oscars  (online.wsj.com) (44)
(Fox News) Dumbass Mackenzie Phillips now says sex with Dad was NOT consensual...so, she forced him  (entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com) (64)
(Gawker) Cool 10 things you should know before going on The Daily Show. Bonus: contents of a Daily Show gift bag  (gawker.com) (76)
(Wikipedia) Spiffy Morgan Fairchild turns 60 today, will be treated to an elegant dinner, followed by hours of hot, crazy sex. Subby should know, because he's.......MARRIED to her. Yeah, that's the ticket  (en.wikipedia.org) (98)
(LA Times) Amusing An "American Psycho" play with music by Phil Collins, Whitney Houston and Huey Lewis? "Really, what could be more subversive fun than murderous bankers breaking into song?"  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (41)
(Kotaku) Interesting Patrick Stewart, "I have a stack of games, I've never taken the covers off them, because I feel that if I do, I'm finished."  (kotaku.com) (108)
(Some Scary Midget) Followup Snooki, Jersey Shore's answer to Tila Tequila, denies there are nude photos and a sex tape of her out there. Thank f*cking god  (digitalspy.com) (94)
(CNN) Amusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck pegs John Edwards as a "creep." Because if anyone deserves to be pegged by Hasselbeck, he does  (cnn.com) (32)
(Slate) Obvious "Lost," season 6: "I haven't been this pissed at a pop-culture product since DC Comics killed Superman and then brought him back"  (slate.com) (472)
(SlashFilm) Stupid Get ready for a sparkly Frankenstein. Didn't I see a SNL Digital Short about this?  (slashfilm.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Stupid Miley Cyrus' nine-year-old sister launching a lingerie line for kids. Read that again if you need to  (celebrities.ninemsn.com.au) (688)
(BBC) Spiffy Darth Vader beats prostate cancer. Now you know the power of the dark side  (news.bbc.co.uk) (54)
(Popoholic) Spiffy Derek Jeter's significant other shows off golden globes. And I'm not talking about ARod's 'roid moobies  (popoholic.com) (35)
(WGNTV) Amusing Reporter asks Mel Gibson if his new movie will "change perceptions of you." Mel calls him "sugar tits." Nah, just kidding. He calls him "a**hole." [video]  (wgntv.com) (102)
(411Mania) Obvious Even James Cameron thinks "The Hurt Locker" should win the Oscar for Best Picture  (411mania.com) (92)

Tue February 02, 2010
(MTV) Sad Boston Legal star Justin Mentell dies at 27. It's a Jeep thing  (mtv.com) (108)
(Sky.com) Amusing Ready for the final season of Lost but need a refresher? 10 minute version of seasons 1-5 as performed by the Reduced Shakespeare Company  (sky1.sky.com) (15)
(MTV) PSA Season 6 of "Lost" premieres at 9 PM on ABC. Here's the discussion thread. No spoilers  (mtv.com) (lots)
(WWTDD) Asinine Someone took naked pictures of Jersey Shore's "Snooki" and is threatening to release them. DO NOT WANT  (wwtdd.com) (102)
(ABC News) Obvious Skiing the black diamond: "If we really can cause you an incredible amount of agony when an episode of 'Lost' is over, we feel like we have done our job"  (abcnews.go.com) (17)
(YouTube) Cool Over 20 years ago, the groundbreaking anime Akira shattered box office records and arguably saved Japanese cinema. And here is a six-second argument for why it still holds up  (youtube.com) (204)
(io9) Unlikely New Judge Dredd movie "won't be as bad as the original," says creator John Wagner. In other news, there is a Judge Dredd remake in the works  (io9.com) (57)
(CNN) Silly Not News: Jessica Simpson goes to visit her sick grandma at hospital and tweets about meeting "cute doctors". FARK: one of them has to inform her that she spelled orgasm wrong in her tweets  (cnn.com) (50)
(C|Net) Unlikely Film studio blames economy, piracy for financial troubles. Reasons not mentioned: Big Mama's House 7, Larry The Cable Guy III, Temptation Island: The Movie, and The Bucket List  (news.cnet.com) (33)
(Gawker) Spiffy Lost: Choose Your Own Adventure  (tv.gawker.com) (26)
(io9) Stupid Marvel Comics is bringing Jean Grey back from the dead. Again. You know, it seems the only person occupying a grave in the Marvel Universe is Ben Parker  (io9.com) (121)
(Contact Music) Obvious Madonna once again abandoning Jesus. Not even the Romans were this harsh  (contactmusic.com) (24)
(MSNBC) Spiffy "Hurt Locker" and "Neo Skywalker Saves FernGully For Pocohontas" lead Oscar nominations with nine each  (msnbc.msn.com) (319)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting "Avatar 2" details emerge. Still no word yet on Gargamel's involvement  (denofgeek.com) (66)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Silly Smurf your first smurfing smurf at a smurfy CGI Smurf from the new "Smurfs" smurf  (aintitcool.com) (66)
(Contact Music) Followup Tila Tequila may have abandoned Twitter, but Lily Allen is back  (contactmusic.com) (29)
(Reuters) Cool Even the horrors of the Iraq war are not immune to the calming effects of Jazz Hands  (reuters.com) (12)
(Contact Music) Obvious Joan Jett has been paid well enough to say that she's impressed with Kristen Stewart's portrayal of her in an upcoming biopic  (contactmusic.com) (40)
(Contact Music) Amusing Poorly tattooed Asian MySpace dwarf-slut Tila Tequila deletes her Twitter account. Our long national twitmare is over  (contactmusic.com) (86)

Mon February 01, 2010
(Starpulse) Sad Forgetta James  (starpulse.com) (54)
(The Superficial) Boobies Christina Hendrick's boobs took her out for a night at the DGA awards. [SFW pic gallery]  (thesuperficial.com) (207)
(Time) Cool In antipication of the season premiere of its final season tomorrow night, here are the top 10 best episodes of Lost as chosen by Time magazine  (tunedin.blogs.time.com) (235)
(Some Dwight) Followup Ricky Gervais confirms he will make a guest appearance on the superior American version of The Office  (digitalspy.com) (127)
(Cinematical) Spiffy Joe Johnston, director of "The First Avenger: Captain America," sits down an reassures fans that the movie will start off during WWII and thankfully skip the 60's and 70's storylines  (cinematical.com) (79)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Syfy Channel to update classic fairy tales. "Hansel and Gretel II: This Time It's Personal"  (hollywoodreporter.com) (72)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy In the understatement of the decade, Cindy Crawford is "holding together pretty good"  (dailymail.co.uk) (77)
(Some Whovian) Cool Well, there's at least one reason to watch Dr. Who this season: Bill Nighy is guest starring  (digitalspy.co.uk) (102)
(Some Spy) Followup Matt Damon says the new Bourne film "could be a prequel." Look for The Bourne Conception in theaters next year  (digitalspy.co.uk) (66)
(Contact Music) Obvious Jessica Biel says she won't re-mount Kilimanjaro, Timberlake  (contactmusic.com) (39)
(Contact Music) Sad Kristen Bell is engaged to Dax Shepard. Commence weeping to the right  (contactmusic.com) (89)
(Cleveland) Spiffy Bill Watterson reflects on "Calvin & Hobbes" with local newspaper reporter in his first interview since 1989  (cleveland.com) (632)
(TMZ) Interesting Tito Jackson to be sued for ruining Michael Jackson tribute concert, being Tito Jackson  (tmz.com) (22)
(Contact Music) Interesting Drew Barrymore dismisses rumors that she's engaged to Justin Long, much to the delight of some chubby PC aficionado  (contactmusic.com) (28)
(PJ Star) Dumbass Letter writer has problem with language in Roger Ebert's review of Book Of Eli. WTF  (pjstar.com) (96)
(E! Online) Asinine Scott Brown's first task as Senator? Get Simon Cowell to put his daughter Ayla back on American Idol. Really  (eonline.com) (48)
(LA Times) Interesting Taylor Swift wins Grammy Album of the Year, thanks Kanye West for not having to go nude just yet  (theenvelope.latimes.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Florida New musical about teenage sexuality, featuring nudity and simulated sex acts, opens in Fort Myers. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (winknews.com) (54)

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