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Sun December 27, 2009
Sat December 26, 2009
Fri December 25, 2009
| (Some Guy) |
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Helen Mirren says she used to snort coke, smoke pot, shoplift and cut her own hair in latest proof that she could not possibly be more awesome |
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Man, not sufficiently scarred by the first airing of the Star Wars Holiday Special in 1978, holds a Life Day celebration for his friends, lives to talk about it |
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George Lucas can rest easy; Jim Carrey's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" has been named the worst Christmas movie of all time. OF ALL TIME |
| (Popeater) |
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Listen kids. If you're going to pose nude, the pictures will end up on the internet, and they will be there forever |
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Joe Francis sues the Internal Revenue Service. The question is... Whom do we root for? |
| (Some Guy) |
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How Dane Cook can salvage his derailed career. "Being funny" conspicuously absent |
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Sarah Jessica Parker spent 15 years trying to get Hugh Grant to play with her but he kept saying, "Neigh" |
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The future of movies, art, and the world as we know it is dethroned by three singing rats |
Thu December 24, 2009
Wed December 23, 2009
| (Riverfront Times) |
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Fred Phelps horde to protest Lady Gaga concert; finally providing sounds more annoying than a Lady Gaga song |
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Brittany Murphy's husband calls drug, anorexia rumors 'crazy'. Because 'she was 32 and just died in the shower for no apparent reason' sounds SO much more sensible |
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You'd think it would be relatively difficult to get arrested at the pantomime, but then you're not Amy Winehouse |
| (CNNGo) |
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A year-by-year analysis of how anime went from boom to bust over the past decade |
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Quentin Tarantino says he has about half the dialog for the opening scene of the prequel to "Inglorious Basterds." Which one can only hope is all about Hugo Stiglitz and how he became so badass |
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Christina Aguilera involved in a wreck not involving her career |
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Peter Jackson finds another epic series of books to adapt to the big-screen |
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Angelina Jolie says she doesn't mind cheating on Brad, so there you go Farkers, you're in |
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I have nothing to add, so here's a video of Jessica Simpson screaming with a candle in her ear |
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A hearse is a hearse of curse of curse |
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Ricky Gervais headed back to HBO with animated series "The Ricky Gervais Show". Well, that's good, innit? |
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Simon Cowell is quitting American Idol. At least, according to his brother, who heard it from his cousin who heard it from his wife who overheard someone talking about it at 31 Flavors last night |
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John Woo to receive Venice Film Festival lifetime award while flying through the air, firing a gun in each hand amidst a cloud of white doves |
Tue December 22, 2009
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T.I. released from prison, sent to halfway house. T-Pain, T. Rex, and T'Pau unavailable for comment |
| (UB Reporter) |
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Researcher can detect when radio programmers are playing crappy songs due to payola instead of playing crappy songs because they are corporate hacks with no taste or soul |
| (Some Guy) |
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Someone stole John Lennon's Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Instant karma's gonna get 'em |
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Bryan Singer says that X-Men: First Class will supercede the Magneto movie, which, unlike First Class, might have actually been good |
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Taylor Swift is not going to be the next Supergirl. Subby is going to preemptively say that this thread needs more Laura Vandervoort |
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Mike Myers rumored to be headlining a Marvin The Martian movie. Hollywood's left "out of ideas" territory and is now in "flat-out hates you" mode |
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Twenty science-fiction characters who really had legs |
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Arnold Stang, the original nerd, is dead at 91. Honey Nut Cheerios will never taste the same |
| (Some Grinch) |
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The best and worst Christmas specials. You forgot about the California Raisins, didn't you? |
| (Racialicious) |
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Witness the birth of a new law of the tubes. Bonus Ebert endorsement on the trackback page |
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Zoe Saldana prepared for her role in Avatar by being naked and muddy for three days. So there's that mental image for the rest of your day, you're welcome |
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FBI release 300 page thriller novel |
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MPAA considers "pot smoking with no bad consequences" deserves R-Rating. Like, harsh dude |
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Star Trek: #1 at the box office, #1 on torrent websites. Naturally, Paramount is pressuing the FCC to crack down on the websites |
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Hollywood producer sues TMZ for $20 million dollars for "branding him as a thief and a rapist"; because they reported on a lawsuit filed against the producer that alleged he was a thief and a rapist |
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How to do your hair like Jersey Shore's DJ Pauly D |
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Britney Spears would just like to make it absolutely clear that she doesn't eat squirrels, just in case you cared |
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ABC picks up a new sitcom, "Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid." If it's a success, it will spin-off one of the female characters into her own show, "Women Be Shopping" |
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Jamie Lynn Sigler finally came to her senses and realized she was way to hot to be dating Turtle |
| (Some Guy) |
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Poorly tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut Tila Tequila announces she's pregnant with her brother's baby |
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Howard Stern threatens to quit. Not sure if Sirius? |
| (Some Hit Girl) |
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"I'm just farking with you, daddy" ... red-band trailer for Kick-Ass (Not safe for work video) |
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Sinbad owes over $8 million in back taxes. There's a joke in here somewhere, unlike in Sinbad's repertoire |
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Paris Hilton shares her bed with a pig. Eventually, her STDs will combine with swine flu to form the Voltron of infectious diseases |
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Christina Applegate sees Justin Long's PC |
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Jimmy Kimmel brings back "Unnecessary Censorship" to wrap up the decade that was |
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When Joel Schumacher got to recast Batman for "Batman Forever," his top four choices were Val Kilmer, Daniel Day-Lewis, Ralph Fiennes...and William Baldwin |
| (Some Observant Guy) |
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Celebrities caught staring at first posts. Bonus: Includes a lecherous Spongebob |
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I looked, and there before me was a pale horse. Its rider was named "Marmaduke", and Hollywood was following close behind him |
Mon December 21, 2009
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Avatar follows in the footsteps of District 9 and countless other films, in that its a movie about white guilt, and the desire of white people to become parts of other races, but only if they can still control them |
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Described as "part Indiana Jones," part Da Vinci Code, and part Ghost," Hawkman will be the next DC title to get a big screen adaptation from Warner Brothers. Boy that sounds....well that just sounds awful |
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The key element shared by most SNL skits is repetition of a phrase or action for comedic effect. Note: The exception is SNL in the 1970s, in which the key element was coke |
| (Jezebel) |
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Demi Moore gets the lawyers involved in threatening a web site that merely pointed out that the actress's missing left hip on a magazine cover was a Photoshop victim |
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"Clash of the Titans" ordered to do some last minutes re-shoot to fix "some creaky parts". Presumably, all scenes involving Bubo or Liam Neeson |
| (Bleeding Cool) |
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Alan Moore is a Japanese schoolgirl. That's the punchline |
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"The Aussie actor happened to be wearing nothing but a g-string, fake animal ears and a felt tail" |
| (Whatever) |
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SF writer John Scalzi reviews "Avatar," finds it visually impressive, and "unlike, say, George Lucas, Cameron actually does attempt to tell a story and to give his actors something else to do except stand there" |
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"There is a common misconception that sex, violence, and obscenity sell, but nearly 80 years of research prove that this is not true," says man who has apparently misread the results of nearly 80 years of research |
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It hasn't even been twenty-four hours, but here's the inevitable "Eleven of Brittany Murphy's best roles" slideshow from Entertainment Weekly |
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One fish, two fish, red fish, retarded fish: Book by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt is the year's worst |
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The most important events in comics, year by year, for the last ten years. Bonus: not a top 10 list, not a ranking, just all the important stuff that went down over the course of the last decade |
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Elizabeth Hasselbeck asks Stanley Tucci if his wife has seen his performance in his new movie 'The Lovely Bones.' Difficulty: His wife died last April. Awkward |
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What has 9 arms, sucks and makes cartoons? |
| (Some Na'vi) |
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Language reference website opens for Na'vi, the invented language from the movie Avatar. Surprisingly, no translation provided for "if you can understand this, you're probably a virgin" |
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Jonas Brother marries hairdresser. Incredibly this story does not include the phrases "no longer in the closet" or "couldn't keep living a lie" |
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In this week's edition of Hollywood Is Officially Out of Ideas, Jonah Hill will star in a movie adaptation of the short-lived, unlamented 21 Jump Street |
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