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Sun November 16, 2008
(Contact Music) Amusing Lohan no longer 'gay,' I told you so's begin to the right  T-Shirt (28)
(TV Squad) Obvious The new music for "Final Jeopardy" sucks  T-Shirt (26)
(T.V. Guide) Cool News: Ricky Gervais would like to appear on "The Office". Fark: As himself  T-Shirt (25)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing EW laments 31 cancelled series. Any of your faves here? With click-whoring gallery goodness  T-Shirt (130)
(Wired) Cool Matt Senreich discusses "Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II" which premieres tonight: "No bits with Lucas this time around. We did that once, and he's a very demanding actor"  T-Shirt (14)
(London Times) Interesting Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" turns 50, let's take a look at the good (Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Hunter S. Thompson) and the horrible (goatee beards, sandals and Ginsberg singing "Hare Krishna" non-stop) of the Beat legacy  T-Shirt (40)
(Infinite Regress) Strange "Life on Mars" meets itself on television  T-Shirt (22)
(YouTube) Spiffy The first full trailer for the new "Star Trek" flick is up...for the moment, anyways  T-Shirt (144)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly Say goodbye to MTV's TRL with these 10 "classic" moments  T-Shirt (31)
(Gigwise) Dumbass Kanye West calls for new paparazzi laws: photographers shouldn't be allowed to sell a picture of him without asking permission. King Douchenozzle Von Crunk unavailable for comment  T-Shirt (25)
(AP) Obvious Comedian Wanda Sykes announces she's proud to be gay. A collective sigh of relief can be heard from men around the world  T-Shirt (81)
(io9) Silly Two robots enter, only one robot leaves. It's Rock-em Sock-em Robots, the movie  T-Shirt (17)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Can Blu-ray save Christmas for Hollywood? ...shakes Magic 8 Ball... "Outlook Not So Good"  T-Shirt (60)
(Some Guy) Obvious George Takei blasts William Shatner: "I really think he's gone bonkers. He's a 78-year-old man acting like a teenager"  T-Shirt (49)
(News.com.au) Scary Urban Music Awards gives three prestigious stabbing awards during its ceremony; recipients to give acceptance speeches as soon as they're out of intensive care  T-Shirt (17)
(Some Guy) Amusing CSI: NY marks 100th episode with 100 of the best one-liners from the show  T-Shirt (15)
(Guardian.com) Silly The Guardian has a posted a gallery of (SFW) opening scenes from pornos for no apparent reason. Includes funeral parlour scenario. Warning: slideshow (w/voting)  T-Shirt (19)

Sat November 15, 2008
(LA Times) Amusing Real-life Twilight town assumes its fictional role for tourists, complete with vampire fangs. Moichendizing moichendizing--where the real money from the movie is made  T-Shirt (66)
(Contact Music) Stupid A-Rod's party pics with Gwyneth Paltrow spur rumors that he's dating Madonna. The plot thinnens  T-Shirt (21)
(Some Guy) Cool New Watchmen trailer is to the left, nerds complaining about slow motion and the group calling themselves "The Watchmen" to the right  T-Shirt (146)
(ABC News) Obvious Where one-hit TV commercial celebrities are today. Dude, where's my career?  T-Shirt (80)
(International Herald Tribune) Amusing Lindsay Lohan gets flour-bombed, surprisingly that is not a new way of getting stoned  T-Shirt (36)
(People Magazine) Sappy Jessica Alba calls daughter "the love of my life". Subby calls Jessica Alba the... wait, what's this in the mail? A restraining order? What a biatch  T-Shirt (22)
(NYPost) Fail TV's new song and dance routine. To also be known as the great ball of suckage  T-Shirt (11)
(Now Magazine) Sad Gordon Ramsay reveals why he's always so f***ing miserable. His f***ing dad used to f***ing beat him  T-Shirt (43)
(People Magazine) Sappy John Mayer says that Jennifer Aniston "knows me". Newsflash to John: it ain't exactly a short list of people whom Jen has "known", if you get our drift. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more  T-Shirt (11)
(People Magazine) Sad Debbie Matenopoulos's husband files for divorce, custody of all remaining vowels  T-Shirt (16)
(NYPost) Interesting Anne Hathaway is among the celebrities who describe their life-altering discoveries in the book 'The Movie That Changed My Life'; "When I was 17 I [realized], 'Oh my God, she's giving him a [bleep] in that scene"  T-Shirt (69)
(Now Magazine) Hero Britney Spears pulls out of performing with Madonna to spend Thanksgiving with her sons. Wow, she's actually doing the RIGHT thing  T-Shirt (24)
(Contact Music) Amusing Daniel Craig declares war on Speedos  T-Shirt (21)
(Baltimore Sun) Amusing SNL hires two new cast members who will not be funny and will also star in several terrible movies  T-Shirt (40)
(AZCentral) Stupid Madonna reveals she was Japanese warrior princess in previous life, thereby explaining why Guy Ritchie wanted to escape her tentacles  T-Shirt (49)
(Some Guy) Fail Top Gear names and shows Ben Collins in a video the US website credits to The Stig, confirming his long rumored identity (57)
(Some Girl) Dumbass Kanye West baptizes dressing room floor at MTV Europe Awards with his holy water  T-Shirt (38)

Fri November 14, 2008
(Boston Globe) Sad "Quantum of Solace is just one exasperated dressing down away from being Lethal Weapon 9."  T-Shirt (329)
(USA Today) Amusing There's something sweet about a father and son both on trial for meth possession. Especially when it is a washed-up 67 year old Hollywood actor and Farrah Faucet's son  T-Shirt (35)
(Now Magazine) Silly Suri Cruise named most influential celebrity tot ahead of Shiloh Pitt; ranking decided with egg and spoon race  T-Shirt (33)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Natalie Portman regrets moving back in with her parents. Subby offers her a room to stay in if she wants to escape them  T-Shirt (81)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Angelina Jolie announces she's to quit acting to be a full-time mum. Jennifer Aniston celebrates by watching re-runs of "Friends"  T-Shirt (41)
(Dlisted) Amusing Madonna tells friends that A-Rod "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body" which is weird, since A-Rod has been telling friends that she's got the vagina of a T. Rex on He-Man's body  T-Shirt (65)

Thu November 13, 2008
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Sad The facts were these: Pushing Daisies has wrapped production on its last ordered episode and ABC is not expected to request more be made  T-Shirt (125)
(io9) Spiffy Star Wars Storyboards from when Luke still called himself Luke Starkiller. Check out the alternate Millenium Falcon design and a mitten-wearing Darth Vader  T-Shirt (131)
(Starpulse) Obvious Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend says he's not enjoying the ass-pounding he's getting in prison  T-Shirt (70)
(Celebslam) Scary Britney and K-Fed are probably doing it again  T-Shirt (47)
(Contact Music) Cool If you know a kid with tourrette syndrome, Ozzy Osbourne is looking for a young boy to play him in upcoming show about his life  T-Shirt (14)
(Stuff) Strange Witness reports Rod Stewart and Robbie Williams nearly came to blows over Rachel Hunter. It is unclear who tried to blow who  T-Shirt (28)
(io9) Cool Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse" will pass "The litmus test of great art". Also has Eliza Dushku running around punching people  T-Shirt (80)
(Now Magazine) Scary Jennifer Lopez and her Skeletor husband trying for another baby as they plot to overthrow He-Man  T-Shirt (47)
(Yahoo) Sad Jacko loses Neverland; children will now be molested by "Sycamore Valley Ranch Co. LLC."  T-Shirt (97)
(Now Magazine) Followup Jennifer Aniston defends decision to open up about Angelina Jolie. There's only one way to settle this feud - where's the baby oil?  T-Shirt (64)
(Toronto Star) Sad That's the way she goes; "Trailer Park Boys" finally runs out of cheeseburgers and weed  T-Shirt (76)
(Salon) Obvious Why "Scarface" is f*cking great  T-Shirt (111)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Fail NBC is pumping down the volume on Christian Slater, cancelling "My Own Worst Enemy"  T-Shirt (95)
(Some Guy) Interesting Can you resurrect a film franchise that's been dormant for more than 10 years? Here are 14 that tried it. One of them is the reason Sharon Stone now struggles for work  T-Shirt (87)
(News.com.au) Followup That dead woman outside of Abdul's house? A former American Idol contestant. (article includes link to FAILiriffic audition video)  T-Shirt (176)

Wed November 12, 2008
(AP) Unlikely Shatner invites George Takei to be a guest on his new talk show. It's a trap  T-Shirt (31)
(Livenews) Ironic Paris Hilton to spread a virus that doesn't involve her vagina  T-Shirt (18)
(RedEye Chicago) Cool 'Arrested Development' movie officially 'a go'. COME ON  T-Shirt (140)
(N4G.com) Obvious Uwe Boll ordered to pay $2.1 million to movie distributors for breaching contract. Moviegoers still awaiting $10 refund for seeing his crappy movies  T-Shirt (23)
(Variety) Sad MADtv canceled. Fans of easily imitated, vaguely funny characters heartbroken  T-Shirt (182)
(Usmagazine) Followup Turns out that the "Cheetah" girl is just an attention whore  T-Shirt (47)
(Starpulse) Silly In an effort to make football appealing to teen girls, the NFL gets Jesse McCartney to perform during the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving Day game halftime show; they obviously wanted something to suck more than the Lions that day too  T-Shirt (62)
(The Sun) Obvious Kanye West says the MTV Music Awards are fixed, with prizes given to the stars who promise to perform live on stage at the event. Gee, ya think?  T-Shirt (64)
(Yahoo) Stupid Fabulously evocative E-Online headline: "Sean Penn's Milk Has Blast From the Antigay Past". Jesus Christ  T-Shirt (79)
(AICN) Amusing Knight Rider: Due to mass suckage, the reboot is getting rebooted again  T-Shirt (95)
(Spike) Silly Top 10 movie douchebags. That's just like your opinion man  T-Shirt (125)
(SFGate) Scary Body found dead in parked car near Paula Abdul's home. Authorities say the body is definitely not Paula Abdul, but have tentatively ID'd it as her career  T-Shirt (90)
(wkfs) Amusing John Travolta is the latest weird old man to confess their love of Miley Cyrus  T-Shirt (34)
(Cinematical) Dumbass Not News: Spielberg may be replaced as director on Chicago 7 flick. Fark: By Ben Stiller  T-Shirt (19)
(NME) Interesting Chili Peppers' Anthony Kiedis to have his autobiography adapted for a TV show, to depict the singer's struggle with making it big in the industry, despite writing lyrics belonging in the diary of a 12-year-old prepubescent girl  T-Shirt (58)
(NYPost) Obvious Late rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard, aka, Big Baby Jesus and Old Dirty Chinese Restaurant, may have been just a tad bit insane  T-Shirt (45)
(Backseat Cuddler) Dumbass A fan asks Robert Pattison to bite her thinking he's a real vampire  T-Shirt (63)
(Celebitchy) Interesting Soprano's Paulie Walnuts debuts new cologne for men, so you too can smell like gun powder and end the evening prematurely  T-Shirt (8)
(Some Guy) Followup Another day, another Disney Pop Princess nude picture lawsuit  T-Shirt (53)
(C|Net) Obvious Al Gore's Cable Channel to cut 60 positions, leaving only 410 more people working there than actually watching it  T-Shirt (22)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting "The Simpsons" will do a crossword puzzle tie-in with the New York Times. Four across, "Show that now sucks, 11 letters"  T-Shirt (141)
(NYPost) Strange When visiting their father, Madonna's kids have to drink Kabbalah water and only play with approved "spiritual" toys, which don't include the ones Dennis Rodman used to make her scream for God  T-Shirt (45)
(Some Guy) Hero British TV boss allows Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay to keep dropping the F-bomb as often as they'd f*cking like. "You must not let occasional misjudgments tip us into a new era of cultural conservatism and censorship"  T-Shirt (20)
(Now Magazine) Followup Kevin Federline so surprised that Britney Spears actually knew what to do when their son fell ill that he releases a statement... insisting he won't be suing her for full custody  T-Shirt (18)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Seventeen months later, David Chase reflects on the Sopr  T-Shirt (36)
(Livenews) Stupid Jennifer Aniston launches expletive-laden, vitriolic tirade of abuse at the woman who stole her husband. Well, almost. What she really said was: "What Angelina did was very uncool"  T-Shirt (62)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool The number-one rated network TV show last week is forty-one years old, features stars twice that age, and keeps on ticking  T-Shirt (17)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Ridley Scott will direct the upcoming "Monopoly" movie. Originally it was going to be John McTiernan, but there were worries he'd go directly to jail  T-Shirt (32)
(TMZ) Strange In the creepiest thing since the Internet Peter Pan, Stephen Baldwin gets a tattoo of his BFF Hannah Montana  T-Shirt (39)
(Gizmodo) Interesting First look at the NCC-1701-WTF  T-Shirt (165)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool HBO orders pilot for a fantasy series. It's like "The Lord of the Rings" with boobies  T-Shirt (122)
(Fox News) Dumbass Lindsay Lohan's thoughts on Obama's historic election: "It's an amazing feeling. It's our first, you know, colored president"  T-Shirt (238)
(Defamer) Cool Weinstein Co. buys rights to "The Cheech and Chong Concert Movie" slated for 2009 release. Up next: "Blind Lemon Chitlin: The Movie"  T-Shirt (14)

Tue November 11, 2008
(CNN) Unlikely Josh Brolin says W liked W  T-Shirt (31)
(Contact Music) Interesting Ticket sales up at movie theaters. $10 Popcorn, not so much  T-Shirt (38)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Roger Moore hates the new James Bond movie franchise. With cinematic masterpieces like Moonraker, who are we to argue?  T-Shirt (289)
(Stuff) Unlikely Paris Hilton says she'd date Prince William if he ditched his "mousy" girlfriend. And if he wanted to get crabs, the clap, the herp, heps A, B and C, and terminal crotchrot  T-Shirt (51)
(UPI) Followup Britney Spears' son Jayden was released from the hospital and is doing fine. It appears it was just a bad reaction to a new brand of chewing tobacco  T-Shirt (21)
(Premiere) Cool The 20 punkest films: Because when you think of punk, Emilio Estevez, Gary Oldman and Christian Slater immediately come to mind  T-Shirt (155)
(People Magazine) Amusing Brad Pitt manhandled by security guard; asks to cuddle afterwards  T-Shirt (7)
(Some Guy) Interesting Paul McCartney reveals identity of Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby". Shockingly, her real name was Eleanor Rigby. Father McKenzie unavailable for comment, because he's probably dead by now  T-Shirt (71)
(Now Magazine) Dumbass Kelly Osbourne plans to do a Peaches Geldof and marry her talentless boyfriend in Vegas. Place your bets on how long it will last  T-Shirt (33)
(Variety) Interesting The latest actor to defile one of your favorite childhood movies? Will Smith's son Jayden  T-Shirt (72)
(CNN) Spiffy Seth MacFarlane: "Family Guy" may be viewed like "All in the Family," which would be like the greatest thing in the world for me  T-Shirt (118)
(WCBS 880) Interesting Actress Rose McGowan has a new look. Want?  T-Shirt (132)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Ginger Spice "splits" from some bloke in LA she was never dating in the first place - yeah, the Atlantic Ocean is to blame  T-Shirt (11)
(AP) Amusing Keith Olbermann, douche par excellence, has won another four year contract with MSNBC  T-Shirt (129)

Mon November 10, 2008
(Marketwatch) Obvious Fox News Channel expected to thrive in Obama presidency as its legions of viewers band together for support against The Enemy, much like goths at the mall food court  T-Shirt (168)
(CBS News) Sad Mars asks Earth:"You know how I know you're gay?"  T-Shirt (63)
(Starpulse) Obvious Nicole Kidman to play a post-op transsexual in her next film?  T-Shirt (33)
(Livenews) Spiffy Salma Hayek is addicted to breastfeeding: "I' m like an alcoholic. It is like, I don't care if I cry, I don't care if I am fat, I am just going to do it for one more week, one more month"  T-Shirt (75)
(Idolator) Sad Vanilla Ice is back with a new album, destroying classics such as "Fight The Power," "Buffalo Soldiers" and only four new remixes of "Ice, Ice Baby"  T-Shirt (79)
(Daily Express) Interesting TV cooking shows adjust to credit crisis by featuring recipes involving liver, kidneys, tripe and other cheap parts of the animal that people usually throw away  T-Shirt (142)
(Telegraph) Asinine James Bond fans complain that series of continuity and factual errors spoil new "Quantum of Solace" movie. Because James Bond movies have always been about painstaking realism  T-Shirt (111)
(Variety) Cool Showtime and the BBC are teaming up to create a series based on "Camelot" even though it tis a silly place  T-Shirt (29)
(NYPost) Spiffy Rebecca Romijn lettuce see her mystique posing seven months pregnant with twins, gets stamos out of Jerry's seed  T-Shirt (60)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Guy Ritchie's dad is happy about his son's split from Madonna. Because if nothing else, this means there definitely won't be a sequel to "Swept Away"  T-Shirt (7)
(Some Guy) Obvious "You practically need a degree in quantum physics to explain what the DC Universe has done with its continuity"  T-Shirt (120)
(tPC) Amusing Robert Kardashian's girlfiend's nude photos stolen at JFK. Unfortunately, this is just to whet our appetites for the inevitable sex tape which will be out faster than you can say Ray J  T-Shirt (56)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Chevy Chase and Burt Reynolds to parody those lame parody movies in "Not Another Not Another Movie." STOP THE MADNESS  T-Shirt (51)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Spiffy Guy who designed Boba Fett and Yoda has new gig: Directing "Captain America"  T-Shirt (68)

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