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Drew calls out Keith Olbermann, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/30 - 9/5
Posted by Drew at 2009-09-08 11:33:41 AM (376 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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21330 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2009 at 2:00 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Normally, I use this space to sort out the media trends in play, but last week during Keith Olbermann's Worst Person in the World segment, he called out "internet nerds" for starting a false internet rumor about Glenn Beck. Since it seemed to be aimed in Fark's general direction, I feel compelled to respond.

Mr. Olbermann, I am outraged. OUTRAGED, I tell you. *shakes fist*

It really is a dark day in American Politics when "internet nerds," as you call them, cannot simply make baseless, horrific allegations from thin air and then question the accused to respond. Although it appears to be standard operating procedure from some television people who happen to work for Fox and whose initials are G.B. and whose names might rhyme with "hen peck," it is perhaps a bit much for the internet community at large.

Oh sure, it's easy to throw lightning bolts from your Ivory Tower down upon our plebian hordes for something as benign as smearing the reputation of an esteemed colleague (even if he is a complete and utter dickwad) with the same techniques he uses on a regular basis to sway the opinions of people who apparently lack the critical thinking skills of carrots.

However, your response does merit consideration. In the light of the criticism, we'll take your advice and try to not propagate unsubstantiated rumors about huge, flaming dickwads like Glenn Beck and will instead focus on making fun of Glenn Beck for his ridiculous, real-life antics. Point taken.

Also, I still regret that we weren't able to make the number one slot, because yet again that went to Richard Lieberstein, president of your co-op board. We shot for #1, but we do know that Miss Precious Perfect is a hard act to follow.


Note, this response is satirical in nature. We do not mean to infer that Mr. Beck is actually a dickwad, huge dickwad, huge flaming dickwad, or unbelievably crass and ridiculous dickwad, even though everyone thinks he is.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-08-30 to Sat 2009-09-05:

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  Proving that a vegetarian lifestyle doesn't always work, Terry Schiavo's father dies of heart failure    
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  Fire officials in SoCal wildfires: "GTFO." Residents: "STFU." Fire: "NOM NOM NOM." Residents: "OMG." Fire department: "DIAF"    
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  Best-selling bible to be edited and re-released, will feature deleted commandments, digitally enhanced plagues, and Han casts the first stone    
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  The Vatican issues a prayer for Catholics to say before sex. Apparently shouting, "Oh God" at the end of sex isn't enough    
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  Woman blows a .31 on the Breathalyzer. Also, up her car    
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  70 years ago today, World War II began. Unless, of course, you're American - in which case you might want to green light this in two year's time (once you've decided who's likely to win)    
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  Ali Bongo drums up enough support to snare election victory, thanks his electoral bass for helping him ride to this cymbalic win    
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  "Deputies: Woman Beats Mother With Candlestick." Was it in the library or the conservatory? No clue    
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  Woman slams into tractor trailer while driving and eating. She sounds flat    
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  Washington State park closed due to Cougar sighting. Officials plan to put up end-zone goalposts to get rid of it    
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  Ice cream factory burns down, firefighters expect to finally extinguish flames by sundae    
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Sports:

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  Thai fighter retains WBC boxing title, is then mercilessly pursued by X-Wing, Y-Wing, and Millennium Falcon    
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  Daunte Culpepper sacked by living room carpet. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 Detroit Lions    
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  17 year old toples Maria Sharapova    
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Geek:

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  Andromeda galaxy growing by eating other nearby galaxies. Here comes the astronom-nom-nom-nomy    
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  Men with high IQ's have the healthiest sperm. Here come the scientists    
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  Researchers use YouTube to study brain injuries. Presumably by reading the user comments    
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Showbiz:

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  Madonna and Jesus visit the holy land. This is not a repeat from 31    
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  Keanu Reeves agrees to take DNA test to prove he's not The One    
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  Whitney Houston's normally CRYSTALline voice goes to POT, CRACKs during performance, fueling speculation that she needs a new training METHod. No word on why it happened    
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Politics:

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  R. Lee Ermey tells Birthers he's gonna give them three seconds, exactly three farking seconds, to square their stupid asses away and start shiatting him Tiffany cufflinks or he will gouge out their eyeballs and skull-fark them    
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  Palin joins forces with Glenn Beck. It's like Voltron, but retarded    
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  Obama spokesman criticizes furor over back-to-school speech, apparently failing to realize that you automatically lose an argument if you defend your position by criticizing the furor    
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Music:

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  Brandon Flowers urges Oasis to reunite. World urges Brandon Flowers to shut the fark up    
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  Michael Jackson is finally being buried 70 days after his death, proving how well our current plastic products can withstand the elements    
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  Chris Brown recorded a song called "Changed Man" as an apology to Rihanna. It will be released on his next album, and is expected to be another big hit. Or maybe a succession of little hits    
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Business:

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  Pfizer to pay $2.3 billion fine after pulling a major boner    
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  Gold surges toward the $1,000-an-ounce mark. Au sh*t    
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  Microsoft granted stay allowing it to keep selling Word while it appeals decision in favor of patent troll, thereby preventing dangerous shortages of Comic Sans-formatted memos in offices everywhere    
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· · ·

376 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2009-09-08 07:06:29 PM  

Martin Silenus: Nemo


She chose to wear or not wear revealing clothing that night.
 
2009-09-08 07:11:34 PM  

1derful: It's okay to say FEMA is building concentration camps, our President is a racist, New World Order Socialism!!, in a medium that claims to be "fair and balanced news", but to make a joke in a forum that is known for making jokes is a no-no. Dan Patrick could have explained the context to you.


THIS THIS THIS THIS SO MUCH THIS
 
2009-09-08 07:14:21 PM  
i27.tinypic.comView Full Size
 
2009-09-08 07:21:45 PM  

at80eighty: word RTP. I'm not going back there for a long long time


You'll be back.
 
2009-09-08 07:28:19 PM  

OlafTheBent: DFWPhotoGuy: FOR GREAT JUSTICE


My response:

i3.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-09-08 07:30:43 PM  
iansbrain.comView Full Size

//mugshot proves it
 
2009-09-08 07:34:13 PM  
Oh, and for good measure:

i3.photobucket.comView Full Size


i3.photobucket.comView Full Size


/because it relates to nothing
 
2009-09-08 07:41:42 PM  
Did I hear right? Some people are saying that Glenn Beck ate and murmured a 19 year-old girl named "Niyendi".
 
2009-09-08 08:02:20 PM  
Ackbarican_Idol:
[w/ image of Beck arrest record]
The truth is out there?


Doesn't count. Durham : Mike Nifong.
Think, "Truth & Integrity is to Law Enforcement, like Fox News is to___?"

A- News
B- Not News
C- SyFy
D- Truth, Justice, & The American Way

\win gets you into duke
\\but who'd want it
 
2009-09-08 08:14:14 PM  
It's not about being on the left or the right, it's about doing it for the lulz.
 
2009-09-08 08:38:40 PM  

Paktu: Glenn Beck is now trying to cover up the 1990 rape and murder allegations.


So, rather than confronting the disturbing allegations that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990 (^) head-on, Glenn is using his lawyers in a sleazy, underhanded method to get the site taken down and quash discussion. Where there's smoke there's usually fire. At this point, I'm no longer sure if I'd even trust a simple denial of the allegations from Glenn Beck. I'm going to need to see some actual documentary evidence of his innocence (if it exists). The reward for evidence of his innocence keeps going up and still nobody has come forward with any. Interesting...
 
2009-09-08 09:46:17 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Did I hear right? Some people are saying that Glenn Beck ate and murmured a 19 year-old girl named "Niyendi".


Hmmm, I thought it was Jeff Beck, but he saved her hair for one of his wigs.

The only Beck who matters. (new window)
 
2009-09-08 10:34:15 PM  

Just for those wo don't get the joke:

Glenn Beck didn't rape or murder anyone (new window)

Important: Read the bottom of the page.

And another thing: Why won't Snopes.com clarify whether or not Drew Curtis is complicit in the rape and murder of Michael Jackson?

 
2009-09-08 10:36:08 PM  
Glenn Beck is suing the owners of GlennBeckRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com for trademark infringement, claiming the name is used in commerce!?!

Evidently, Glenn Beck wants to be the only one who has any business in the 1990 rape and murder of a young girl.
 
2009-09-08 10:42:38 PM  

acad1228: Just for those wo don't get the joke:Glenn Beck didn't rape or murder anyone (new window)
Important: Read the bottom of the page.


Wow. That link got changed as I was posting it
 
2009-09-09 12:06:07 AM  
Drew: Oh sure, it's easy to throw lightning bolts from your Ivory Tower down upon our plebian hordes for something as benign as smearing the reputation of an esteemed colleague (even if he is a complete and utter dickwad) with the same techniques he uses on a regular basis to sway the opinions of people who apparently lack the critical thinking skills of carrots.

This is a prime example of why I'm willing to pay for Fark.

/keep up the good work, Drew
//Fark has helped me keep what's left of my sanity
///seriously
 
2009-09-09 12:24:33 AM  
wow, Drew i knew you were a brainwashed douche nozzle but this is rediculous. Olberman attacks you and fellow "internet nerds" and you somehow manage to attack Glen Beck Fox News, people on the opposite political spectrum as you and George W. Effing Bush...wow...just...amazing...wow...speaking of not having the critical thinking skills of a carrot...
 
2009-09-09 01:12:37 AM  

Gdalescrboz: wow, Drew i knew you were a brainwashed douche nozzle but this is rediculous. Olberman attacks you and fellow "internet nerds" and you somehow manage to attack Glen Beck Fox News, people on the opposite political spectrum as you and George W. Effing Bush...wow...just...amazing...wow...speaking of not having the critical thinking skills of a carrot...


thoseshirts.comView Full Size


LOL complete fail.
 
2009-09-09 02:02:28 AM  
Any future rape and murder henceforth infringes upon Glenn Beck's copywrite
 
2009-09-09 02:10:10 AM  
WTF is the Glenn Beck deal on fark? Why is he the new godwin and everyone rushes to mention his name in every thread possible? Did I miss something? Did I miss a new meme (I usually don't). He's just a troll on TV.

It goes the opposite way if you ask me. The reason folks like Beck an O'Reilly are still around, is because you folks are constantly giving them attention. This attention validates them, and gives them credibility to the people who have the critical-thinking skills of carrots.

Farkers pride themselves on outing the trolls, yet, Glenn Beck has been trolling your asses for a long time now. Again, don't feed the trolls.

/I agree with ya Drew
 
2009-09-09 02:26:44 AM  

GoSurfing: WTF is the Glenn Beck deal on fark?



You've heard of fads. Beck is simply some farkers' cocktoast of the week.
 
2009-09-09 03:17:54 AM  

1derful: Any future rape and murder henceforth infringes upon Glenn Beck's copywrite


that is why i will from now on substitute the neologism "glennbeck" for the phrase "rape and murder". for example: Shut up, or I will come to your house and glennbeck your sister.
 
2009-09-09 03:20:58 AM  

The Girl Glenn Beck Murdered and Raped: Eh?


Did you used to be Ted Kennedy's Tumor?
 
2009-09-09 04:10:01 AM  
van jones went after Glenn Beck and ended up shooting himself in the face. Now the lefties have been stirred into a fizzy, once again.

Glenn Beck: 1

Another one of obama's fellow lefty marxists: Kaput

/if I knew how much fun having this inept African American as president would be, I'd have voted for him
 
2009-09-09 06:55:45 AM  

zefal: van jones went after Glenn Beck and ended up shooting himself in the face.


According to legend, not the only one shot in the face due to Glenn Beck.
 
2009-09-09 07:30:34 AM  
How *dare* you, SIR!
 
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