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Fark NotNewsletter: Welcome to the future
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2018-01-02 2:34:43 PM (40 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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1378 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2018 at 9:06 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Okay, 2017 is over. Sure, 2018 might be a lot like 2017, but it definitely has more eights. And remember: Any car can be a flying car if you're brave enough.
 
 
Comment Mentions
 
The number of comments these words were mentioned in on Fark and TotalFark in the past week. Note: This does not mean they were the most-used words
 
Golf Channel - 52
Iran - 356
Deep State - 268
Happy New Year - 497
 
 
Comment Votes
 
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
 
Funny:
bearded clamorer figured out why a guy chose a strange place to put his phone and money
bearded clamorer had a question about a man with a coin stuck in his butt
ZAZ figured out the source of a German Navy frigate's problems
foo monkey reacted to news that almost half of Puerto Rico still doesn't have electricity restored
PainInTheASP enlisted our help in finding a neo-Nazi fugitive in Ohio
freakingmoron had a sweet Christmas tradition with a girlfriend
wademh gave an example of religious groups creating new atheists
ralphjr showed Trump casting blame for a shortage of IV supplies
foo monkey was reminded of a traumatic experience
Mugato asked a medical question about people getting things stuck up their butts
 
Smart:
SpaceyCat thought that police should take precautions against killing innocent people
pkrzycki reacted to an article about drinks that bartenders don't want you to order
ecmoRandomNumbers shared a personal connection to a sad story
doglover reacted to police killing an innocent man
FormlessOne thought that a a police investigation is focused on the wrong thing
Weaver95 hoped for some racist trolls to have their racist feelings hurt
blastoh commented on how many Americans carry guns with them
Darth_Lukecash weighed freedom to own guns versus gun violence
maddermaxx pointed out that police should not be killing innocent people
sdd2000 gave examples of the free market version of civil rights
 
TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers   
Funny: Adjective Bird Whiskey figured out why a first sexual experience got low marks
Funny: Dr. Tuttle escalated the submitter's willingness to blow a guy for $500,000
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Odd Christmas traditions
Smart:
Winterlight always has a special Christmas dinner
Funny: Rotcorp trolls the wife with some non-traditional head
 
CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email dugitman.
 
Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja explained why Donald Trump won't be in a room with people who mock him
I_Am_Weasel described exactly who Mike Huckabee is
ToastmasterGeneral shared a conversation between Trump and Angela Merkel
scottydoesntknow found someone interested in a hacker's "calling card"
King Something discussed Trump's obsession with size
 
Politics Smart:
pueblonative wondered about the U.S. limiting involvement in the U.N.
Ambivalence had a suggestion on dealing with Trump's feelings
Kubo found a message behind Trump taking credit for people saying "Merry Christmas"
FormlessOne knew why Trump's inauguration crowd seemed smaller than Obama's
NeedlesslyCanadian reviewed many of Roy Moore's run-ins with the law
 
 
Contest Votes
 
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
 
Photoshops:
#2 added more primates to a Christmas card
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that Steven Seagal doesn't just eat carrots
Alligator showed this kid wasn't worried about his school project
Surly U. Jest translated the cover of Steven Seagal's book
wickedfish found a way for Farkers to participate in sports
Private_Citizen found expert advice from Steven Seagal
cowgirl toffee showed us a book that gives a little too much information
Glockenspiel Hero filled in the missing pieces of Mada'in Saleh
wickedfish needed a bigger can of bug spray
Colour_out_of_Space showed us a jerk on his book cover
 
Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 660: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot 2" ended in a tie between Elsinore and Elsinore . Awkward.
 
Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
 
Beyond Fark 
 
We're sad to have lost Farker brightestfell. Many of you also knew her as Garnet Cat on Facebook and Twitter.  You can read brightestfell's memorial thread here.
 
 
Fark Headlines of the Week Year Update (brought to you by Blythe)
 
Here we are at the Final round of Fark's Headline of the Year.  It's been a lot of fun getting here.
 
First we have the Headlines of the Week, each week, every week, all year long.  Then we have Preliminary Headline of the Year contests in TotalFark all December - breaking out four categories of Main page headlines: Wordplay and Puns, Context, Politics on the main page, and Story.  Then we have Finals for all Farkers to vote for the top headlines in each category.  Those winners of the Main page categories are part of this last contest and will be officially reported next week!
 
And now we have one more step.  In previous years the Headline of the Year came from the category that this year we labeled "Story" headlines.  This year we had so many great headlines in all four categories (Wordplay and Puns, Context, Politics on the main page, and Story) that we didn't think it was right that only the Story headlines got considered for Headline of the Year.  So we added one final voting round.  We've taken the top headlines from each for the Headline of the Year - a kind of "Best in Show" for the Main page - regardless of the category.
 
Voting will remain open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1 p.m. Eastern Time for THE Fark Headline of the Year!
 
(Tab preliminaries finished in TotalFark yesterday and are being tabulated as we write!  Final voting for all Farkers for the Tab contests starts tomorrow and will also run until Monday!)
· · ·

40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-01-02 02:37:49 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 02:38:12 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 02:41:58 PM  
This future sucks.
 
2018-01-02 02:41:59 PM  
Now the first new millienum babies are 18 years old.
 
2018-01-02 02:42:19 PM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 02:44:11 PM  
I was hoping to get a special mention in the newsletter as this was the first week since Fark's inception that I managed to shut my gibbering piehole for a complete week.
 
2018-01-02 02:46:29 PM  
Who hooo! I made smart list

/was going for funny....
 
2018-01-02 02:49:58 PM  

brap: I was hoping to get a special mention in the newsletter as this was the first week since Fark's inception that I managed to shut my gibbering piehole for a complete week.


wikihow.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 02:53:45 PM  

ParallelUniverseParking: [media.giphy.com image 299x212][View Full Size image _x_]


I hope they're wearing their seat belts.... don't want anyone getting hurt if they end up plowing into something.
 
2018-01-02 02:55:10 PM  

xanadian: ParallelUniverseParking: [media.giphy.com image 299x212][View Full Size image _x_]

I hope they're wearing their seat belts.... don't want anyone getting hurt if they end up plowing into something.


Hey, party pooper. YOLOoooooooooooooo*splat*
 
2018-01-02 02:58:51 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: Who hooo! I made smart list

/was going for funny....


While sarcasm is lightly humorous, that's some serious shiat you wrote about. The occasional dose of reality is appreciated around here.
 
2018-01-02 02:59:33 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 03:00:13 PM  
Great.
 
2018-01-02 03:01:22 PM  

brap: I was hoping to get a special mention in the newsletter as this was the first week since Fark's inception that I managed to shut my gibbering piehole for a complete week.


I read "gibbering piehole" in Martha Stewart's voice.
 
2018-01-02 03:03:18 PM  

brap: I was hoping to get a special mention in the newsletter as this was the first week since Fark's inception that I managed to shut my gibbering piehole for a complete week.


Maybe you should have said something.
 
2018-01-02 03:06:19 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 03:08:24 PM  

cyberspacedout: Darth_Lukecash: Who hooo! I made smart list

/was going for funny....

While sarcasm is lightly humorous, that's some serious shiat you wrote about. The occasional dose of reality is appreciated around here.


Well, I just got teed off at the belief that having a right absolved the responsibility of   trying to find solutions.
 
2018-01-02 03:20:39 PM  
im4.ezgif.comView Full Size


Fark 2017.
 
2018-01-02 03:44:13 PM  
Hey, I made the list for a "smart" comment.

Over a decade of hanging around this place and I finally get intelligent. It's a (post) Christmas miracle!
 
2018-01-02 03:51:18 PM  

Winterlight: Hey, I made the list for a "smart" comment.

Over a decade of hanging around this place and I finally get intelligent. It's a (post) Christmas miracle!


Well lucky you!  I bet this just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?
 
2018-01-02 04:08:23 PM  

real_headhoncho: Winterlight: Hey, I made the list for a "smart" comment.

Over a decade of hanging around this place and I finally get intelligent. It's a (post) Christmas miracle!

Well lucky you!  I bet this just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?


I broke out the good bottle of Night Train. I've been saving it for a special occasion.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 04:17:56 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 300x204]


Your most artistic one yet - bravo!!!
 
2018-01-02 04:40:32 PM  

Winterlight: real_headhoncho: Well lucky you!  I bet this just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?

I broke out the good bottle of Night Train. I've been saving it for a special occasion.


Which will *definitely* make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

/ stares at plastic glass of whole milk
// not the same, no not at all
/// got nuthin'
 
2018-01-02 05:05:23 PM  

Oakenraven: Which will *definitely* make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside!


It makes me feel *something*... not sure if "warm and fuzzy" are the proper words, though...
 
2018-01-02 05:27:49 PM  
Yay! I made the newsletter! I'm famous!

I'd like to thank all the...

Whoops, looks like my 15 minutes are up. Fame is so fleeting.
 
2018-01-02 06:33:56 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 06:47:48 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 07:22:15 PM  
Whether you like country or not, check out 'Welcome To The Future' by Brad Paisley.
 
2018-01-02 08:50:57 PM  

John Buck 41: Whether you like country or not, check out 'Welcome To The Future' by Brad Paisley.


Only if you listen to an hour of jazz first.
 
2018-01-02 09:03:26 PM  
Huzzah!
 
2018-01-02 09:14:55 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 09:19:30 PM  

lindalouwho: John Buck 41: Whether you like country or not, check out 'Welcome To The Future' by Brad Paisley.

Only if you listen to an hour of jazz first.


Not a chance.
 
2018-01-02 09:21:00 PM  

John Buck 41: Whether you like country or not, check out 'Welcome To The Future' by Brad Paisley.


If country is the future, I'm moving to Canada with Barbara Nosesand.
 
2018-01-02 09:43:20 PM  

John Buck 41: lindalouwho: John Buck 41: Whether you like country or not, check out 'Welcome To The Future' by Brad Paisley.

Only if you listen to an hour of jazz first.

Not a chance.


See the futility of "whether you like country or not" now? ;)
 
2018-01-02 09:48:03 PM  
I had three HOTY candidates this year. None of them will win, but still... I'll take it.
 
2018-01-02 10:19:58 PM  

a particular individual: I had three HOTY candidates this year. None of them will win, but still... I'll take it.


Had 5 or 6 in the running.
One still in there
Its going to die.
 
2018-01-02 10:53:36 PM  

brap: I was hoping to get a special mention in the newsletter as this was the first week since Fark's inception that I managed to shut my gibbering piehole for a complete week.
---


We just like hanging out with you.
You don't need to say a thing. :)
/ just keep hangin' with your pals
static1.squarespace.comView Full Size
 
2018-01-02 11:05:04 PM  

nanim: brap: I was hoping to get a special mention in the newsletter as this was the first week since Fark's inception that I managed to shut my gibbering piehole for a complete week.
---

We just like hanging out with you.
You don't need to say a thing. :)
/ just keep hangin' with your pals [static1.squarespace.com image 500x478]


Now I want some pie.
 
2018-01-02 11:57:31 PM  

freakingmoron: Yay! I made the newsletter! I'm famous!

I'd like to thank all the...

Whoops, looks like my 15 minutes are up. Fame is so fleeting.


img.fark.netView Full Size


Here, you can have this. I was going to post it when my post was recognized, but I guess my 125-funny shtick is unappreciated around here.
 
2018-01-03 08:34:54 AM  

lindalouwho: John Buck 41: lindalouwho: John Buck 41: Whether you like country or not, check out 'Welcome To The Future' by Brad Paisley.

Only if you listen to an hour of jazz first.

Not a chance.

See the futility of "whether you like country or not" now? ;)


I referenced the song because the title was in the headline.
 
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