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Fark NotNewsletter: Any adult dressed as the Easter Bunny is terrifying 🐰
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2017-04-18 12:58:52 PM, edited 2017-04-18 12:59:52 PM (55 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

2891 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2017 at 8:12 PM (30 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



________________________
 
A message from Drew Curtis:
 
We have picked some winners in the Best/Weirdest thing that happened to you as a result of Fark contest.  An anonymous sponsor paid for 10 people who wrote the best entries to get TotalFark for a year - we picked 11 because we couldn't choose.   We'll be putting one in the NotNewsletter each week for the next several weeks.
 
Our second winner is Dragonchild, who remembers one of the many times Fark switched gears from irreverent messing around to realtime vetting of breaking news.
 
(Slightly edited for Workplace Email Inboxes)
 
-----
Dragonchild:
 
I'll be non-snarky here and mention how Fark was actually relevant for a couple days -- the Fukushima disaster.  I have a physics degree myself so I'm nowhere near scared of radiation as most people since I understand it better than some kind of eldritch curse, but I also have folks in Japan, and there were a lot of scared/worried/curious people here.
 
While the media had cranked its apeshiat hysteria up to 12, Fark kind of busted out of its usual fare of A-10 fanboying, cat worship and self-important circle-jerks to run a sort of ongoing realtime fact-checker.  A bunch of people with actual experience in these matters (I contributed a smidgen) kept debunking bullshiat story after bullshiat story after bullshiat story, around the clock.  Couldn't fill the void with much in the way of actual facts, since those were hard to get, but it was consistently the fastest turnaround in keep some semblance of sanity in the webosphere.  And the threads remained remarkably on-topic.  Which, for a story that was personally relevant but had the world's attention, was just what everyone needed.
 
I forget the people who were running the show but they deserve MAJOR kudos for giving the community a crash course on nuclear disasters, which allowed the rest of us to spread word and keep the damage the media was doing in check.
 
-----
 
Speaking of anonymous donors sponsoring contest, we've had another Farker step up with 10 sponsorships to give away in a contest of some kind.  If you've got any suggestions for a contest let me know.  And if you'd like to sponsor one of your own, we could probably do that as well!
 
As always, feel free to sign up for either TotalFark or BareFark, and/or sign up a friend! It may not seem like much but it makes a huge difference to us!
________________________
 
We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
 
________________________
 
 
Comment Mentions
 
The number of comments these words were mentioned in on Fark and TotalFark in the past week. Note: This does not mean they were the most-used words
 
United - 3530
Holocaust Center - 115
Chocolate cake - 68
Pepsi - 155
Easter - 1190
Bacon - 478
 
 
Comment Votes
 
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
 
Funniest:
that1guy77 posted some United Airlines flight instructions
Prank Call of Cthulhu wrote some ad copy targeting travelers
LewDux shared a tweet about United's bad timing
Lt. Cheese Weasel wasn't sure how to deal with someone's crispy tan
ParallelUniverseParking knew how United could have better handled things
GRCooper is no snob
Pocket Ninja explained "stand your ground" laws
2chris2 shared a new slogan for United Airlines
Victoly thought things would be okay for a guy who swerved to hit motorcyclists
Sandelaphon shared an observation about anti-gay activists
 
Smartest:
BumpInTheNight pointed out that being cheap can end up costing more
Mr.Uncle.Bill responded to reports about the United passenger's past
EvilEgg disagreed with the use of the phrase "brand genocide"
holdmybones had some advice for United Airlines
FortyHams discussed what it took to get the CEO of United to care
Marcus Aurelius commented on a habit that is common for airlines
czetie replied to a question whether or not reports of a criminal record were valid
SplittingAces gave some advice regarding tipping in restaurants
quatchi commented on the anti-gay religious right
Farking Clown Shoes disagreed with Fox News
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Spring is here
Smartest:
Man_Without_A_Hat really likes spring, apparently
Funniest: Oakenraven shared a story about a smelly Russian guy
 
If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email dugitman.
 
Politics Funniest:
El_Swino shared a tweet about Sean Spicer's Holocaust-related blunders
A Trump tweet made bloobeary feel nostalgic
Mike_LowELL was taken by surprise
Dusk-You-n-Me shared a logo for a bad place to do your shopping
Eddie Adams from Torrance imagined one of Trump's conversations about North Korea
 
Politics Smartest:
A Trump tweet made bloobeary feel nostalgic
Action Replay Nick was unimpressed by one veteran's opinion
Satanic_Hamster wanted us to hold on to that feelin' (streetlights, people oh oh ohhhhhhh!)
kronicfeld didn't think anyone was confused
Serious Black discussed who broke the filibuster rule
 
 
Contest Votes
 
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
 
Photoshops:
manyone found the best way to travel
grampy forwarded a message to American voters
manyone gave a woman a selfie stick
Pure Weapons-Grade Bolonium updated some art
Yammering_Splat_Vector put this tree in a spooky setting
whyRpeoplesostupid implied that the polar bear ate the lady
manyone showed us a psychic cat
Surly U. Jest found a cat that really wants to catch some fish
Surly U. Jest gave an explorer a sidekick
RedZoneTuba found some friends for this baby dog
 
Farktography:
blastoh won Farktography Contest No. 623: "Nature Photography 2" with a "creek in the Quinault Rainforest"
 
If you would like to suggest a theme for a Farktography contest, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
 
 
Upcoming Fark Parties
 
See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 
 
Saturday, May 13th: Twin Cities Fark Party
 
If you'd like to plan a Fark Party in your area, you can use the Fark Party submission form
 
 
Fark Headlines of the Week (brought to you by ox45tallboy)
 
For our guests in the elevator, the jig's up
 
Brain surgery with a tree saw? Must be a new branch of medicine
 
Prostitute who Michael Jacksoned Google executive to be Trumped back to Canada
 
Arsonist wanted in Polk County for several wildfires. Well, I normally do house fires, but I guess I could stretch
 
New England Patriots: We don't have anywhere to put our fifth Super Bowl banner. The rest of the NFL: We know where you can put it 
 
Researchers determine people happiest when they are 23 and 69. Personally, I've never tried the first one but I'd be willing to learn
 
J Geils's blood has run cold
 
Poe's Law found dead at hands of Godwin's Law in bizarre murder/suicide case
 
An audit reveals that San Diego pays electric bills for 3,712 nonexistent UFOs 
 
 
Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)
 
This week we had 5 people hit 11/11 on the quiz, breaking the 1000 mark. dionysusaur made it through the quickest with 1035 points, followed by BeotchPudding with 1030. SilverStag made third with 1024, followed by Holy Carp with 1016 who barely edged out Panic Near Detroit's 1015. Congratulations to the winners, but know that we're going hard again next week. 
 
This week's hardest question was on what was the best state to retire in. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that Wallethub had determined that the weather, healthcare options, and tax system meant that sunny Florida was the best state to kick back in your Golden Years. I'm not sure if they included alligators, hurricanes, or people who like shooting things in their equations. 
 
This week's easiest question was on where a low-flying plane in Mexico had dumped off a body. 76% of quiztakers knew they had dropped it off on the roof of a local hospital, although it's unclear what the hospital could have done for him. 
 
On the easy quiz, the hardest question was on the duties of a rookie Supreme Court Justice, 54% of quiztakers knew that the newest person on the Supreme Court had to answer the door when they were in closed-session meetings. No word if he or she also had to take coffee orders. 
 
The easiest question on the easy quiz was on how a massage parlor in Austin, TX was found out. A whopping 93% of quiztakers knew that the landlord had notified police when he found the toilet drain clogged with used condoms. Come on, people, don't flush those things. Wrap them in toilet paper and put them in the trash. 
 
Once again, congratulations to the winners, and look for your Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz once again this weekend . If you didn't get a chance to take this week's quiz, you can do so right here.
· · ·

55 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-04-18 01:02:20 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 01:05:58 PM  
It's funny because I am a snob ...
 
2017-04-18 01:08:57 PM  
I notice a distinct lack of medals. Horrible!

(Also, congrats, people.)
 
2017-04-18 01:10:56 PM  
img.washingtonpost.com
 
2017-04-18 01:10:58 PM  
l.yimg.com
Brb gotta jump through a church window.
 
2017-04-18 01:21:20 PM  

Theaetetus: [img.fark.net image 395x350]


The weirdest part about that gif is why she keeps a hand over her costume's nether regions the entire time.
 
2017-04-18 01:37:34 PM  

starsrift: Theaetetus: [img.fark.net image 395x350]

The weirdest part about that gif is why she keeps a hand over her costume's nether regions the entire time.


Anyone want to point out the obvious in this?   I'd do it, but just too easy.
 
hej [TotalFark]
2017-04-18 01:38:48 PM  
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2017-04-18 01:42:12 PM  

real_headhoncho: starsrift: Theaetetus: [img.fark.net image 395x350]

The weirdest part about that gif is why she keeps a hand over her costume's nether regions the entire time.

Anyone want to point out the obvious in this?   I'd do it, but just too easy.


That would be a guy with amazingly over-rounded hips, underdeveloped arms legs, and overdeveloped... pectorals. Certainly not impossible, but the KISS principle applies.
 
2017-04-18 01:53:20 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 02:01:57 PM  
It must be Bunny Season.
 
2017-04-18 02:04:02 PM  
Not this one:


img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 02:06:16 PM  
uglydemocrats.com
 
2017-04-18 02:08:36 PM  

vonster: [uglydemocrats.com image 400x316]


lynnrockets.files.wordpress.com
 
2017-04-18 02:11:40 PM  
68.media.tumblr.com
 
2017-04-18 02:15:51 PM  
I didn't know the Easter bunny was a large black man?

a.dilcdn.com
 
2017-04-18 02:16:21 PM  
Apparently DisseminationMonkey doesn't have a pooka friend like I have.  People act like they haven't seen a 6' 3.5" tall rabbit before.
 
2017-04-18 02:35:33 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 02:36:20 PM  
So far, I heartily approve of the choices for winners. (I had to look up last week's NotNewsletter to remind me of the first.)

Woe betide you should circumstances differ, farkmonkeys. Choices earning disapproval from me will be met with stern glances.

Don't make me break out the stern glances.
 
2017-04-18 02:41:58 PM  
img.fark.net
img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 02:51:42 PM  
Is this another thread about Watership Down?
 
2017-04-18 02:53:29 PM  
I absolutely love that some generous Farkers are offering to sponsor other Farkers with these contests. As a charity case myself, I have to express how much I appreciate all the lunatics who have bought me TF over the years.

For anyone who is maybe on the fence about treating themselves to TotalFark or BareFark, DO IT!!!! I promise it'll be the best $5-7 dollars (is that how much Bare Fark costs?) you could possibly spend online.

I have made lifelong friends on here and have learned so much from so many remarkable people. TotalFark gives you access to the hardcore community--from the earliest posts in threads which are the best ones with the most interesting points of view to the Advice and Discussion tabs where some very wacky and wonderful people hang out. BareFark gives you all that plus, no ads! What a bargain, right?

And you get to go to sleep at night (or stay up Farking if you're an insomniac) knowing that you've done your bit to keep this crazy place going. I know I'm going to be sponsoring folks and paying it back just as soon as I can.

I also want to take a second to thank all the modmins. Y'all are stellar. Seriously.
 
2017-04-18 02:55:22 PM  

starsrift: real_headhoncho: starsrift: Theaetetus: [img.fark.net image 395x350]

The weirdest part about that gif is why she keeps a hand over her costume's nether regions the entire time.

Anyone want to point out the obvious in this?   I'd do it, but just too easy.

That would be a guy with amazingly over-rounded hips, underdeveloped arms legs, and overdeveloped... pectorals. Certainly not impossible, but the KISS principle applies.


NTTAWWT.

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2017-04-18 03:06:27 PM  
What, no love for the Good Friday edition of impaler's"Press Snekretary"?
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 03:11:04 PM  

Praise Cheesus: What, no love for the Good Friday edition of impaler's"Press Snekretary"?
[img.fark.net image 406x1500]


I missed the press snekratary

I trust him more then Sean Spicer already
 
2017-04-18 03:15:16 PM  

ginandbacon: I absolutely love that some generous Farkers are offering to sponsor other Farkers with these contests. As a charity case myself, I have to express how much I appreciate all the lunatics who have bought me TF over the years.

For anyone who is maybe on the fence about treating themselves to TotalFark or BareFark, DO IT!!!! I promise it'll be the best $5-7 dollars (is that how much Bare Fark costs?) you could possibly spend online.

I have made lifelong friends on here and have learned so much from so many remarkable people. TotalFark gives you access to the hardcore community--from the earliest posts in threads which are the best ones with the most interesting points of view to the Advice and Discussion tabs where some very wacky and wonderful people hang out. BareFark gives you all that plus, no ads! What a bargain, right?

And you get to go to sleep at night (or stay up Farking if you're an insomniac) knowing that you've done your bit to keep this crazy place going. I know I'm going to be sponsoring folks and paying it back just as soon as I can.

I also want to take a second to thank all the modmins. Y'all are stellar. Seriously.


Hey man, the underwear goes on the inside.
 
2017-04-18 03:15:42 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 03:16:44 PM  
media.giphy.com
 
2017-04-18 03:18:05 PM  

Praise Cheesus: What, no love for the Good Friday edition of impaler's"Press Snekretary"?


Not enough votes.
 
2017-04-18 03:22:43 PM  
Stone Temple Pilots - Sour Girl (music video)
Youtube AEZbAbd_cJ0
 
2017-04-18 03:25:27 PM  

FortyHams: vonster: [uglydemocrats.com image 400x316]

[lynnrockets.files.wordpress.com image 339x400]


nrcc.org
Flag on the play.

Illegal meme hijacking.
 
2017-04-18 03:28:44 PM  

ginandbacon: I also want to take a second to thank all the modmins. Y'all are stellar. Seriously.


Ya know, they still won't sleep with...never mind, yes they will.
 
2017-04-18 03:29:48 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Praise Cheesus: What, no love for the Good Friday edition of impaler's"Press Snekretary"?

Not enough votes.


Most of us nontrolls are drumpfed OUT.
 
2017-04-18 03:36:01 PM  
Attack!
img.fark.net
Om nom nom nom
 
2017-04-18 03:38:36 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 03:38:38 PM  

mama2tnt: ginandbacon: I also want to take a second to thank all the modmins. Y'all are stellar. Seriously.

Ya know, they still won't sleep with...never mind, yes they will.


LOL! You bring da funny, luv :)
 
2017-04-18 03:40:58 PM  

ginandbacon: I also want to take a second to thank all the modmins. Y'all are stellar. Seriously.


Until an American Stinker or Clownhall link gets greened, then it's pitchforks and torches time.  Right, Drew?
 
2017-04-18 03:47:27 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2017-04-18 03:51:42 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: [i.imgur.com image 300x159]


And now we have it. Great work, Igor!
 
2017-04-18 03:54:25 PM  

real_headhoncho: Attack!
[img.fark.net image 359x200]
Om nom nom nom


I absolutely love that video. I think I larfed until snot and tears ended up on my shoes. 

What can I say? I'm dainty like that.
 
2017-04-18 04:04:58 PM  

real_headhoncho: Attack!
[img.fark.net image 359x200]
Om nom nom nom


I am reminded of this

orig10.deviantart.net
 
2017-04-18 04:13:26 PM  

loonatic112358: real_headhoncho: Attack!
[img.fark.net image 359x200]
Om nom nom nom

I am reminded of this

[orig10.deviantart.net image 850x1136]


l.yimg.com
 
2017-04-18 07:37:35 PM  
i304.photobucket.com
 
OOF
2017-04-18 08:24:40 PM  
img.fark.net
 
Boe [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2017-04-18 08:25:22 PM  

Praise Cheesus: What, no love for the Good Friday edition of impaler's"Press Snekretary"?
[img.fark.net image 406x1500]


I wish I could funny this five more times
 
OOF
2017-04-18 08:33:31 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-04-18 09:54:30 PM  

real_headhoncho: ginandbacon: I also want to take a second to thank all the modmins. Y'all are stellar. Seriously.

Until an American Stinker or Clownhall link gets greened, then it's pitchforks and torches time.  Right, Drew?


We were simply expressing our disagreement with certain alterations to the general ambiance, and discussing it in a gentlemanly manner as befits men of standing.

The Quiet Man Fight
Youtube 8Bm0RIs-VJU
 
2017-04-18 09:56:43 PM  
Not the movie/clip I thought I had, but I'll take it.
 
2017-04-18 10:29:17 PM  

LowbrowDeluxe: Not the movie/clip I thought I had, but I'll take it.


Ah, the Quiet Man.  Great movie.
 
2017-04-18 10:39:39 PM  
Easter Message from Sean Spicer (Melissa McCarthy) - SNL
Youtube _RvfzFv3c6Y

More funny than terrifying
 
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