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Dylan Roof's sentencing, the last meal on the Titanic, and the fate of Uber in Italy. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-09 to Sat 2017-04-15
Posted by ox45tallboy at 2017-04-17 10:59:45 AM (18 comments) | Permalink
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2488 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2017 at 11:19 AM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Greetings, and welcome back for another edition of Fark's Headlines of the Week, where we bring you the top voted funny, weird. and downright strange headlines, based on your voted. If you see something this week that you like, be sure and hit that thumbs-up button in the upper-left hand corner of the thread header, and you might see it here next week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-09 to Sat 2017-04-15:

img.fark.net  For our guests in the elevator, the jig's up

img.fark.net  Brain surgery with a tree saw? Must be a new branch of medicine

img.fark.net  Prostitute who Michael Jacksoned Google executive to be Trumped back to Canada

img.fark.net  Seman everywhere

img.fark.net  After participating in 'bestiality party,' 64-year-old woman is spared jail by claiming she didn't know it was illegal. Even so, it will probably dog her the rest of her life

img.fark.net  Racist church shooter Dylann Roof will receive the death penalty and 9 life sentences just in case he's a cat or something

img.fark.net  New species of crab discovered that lives entirely in trees. As long as they still taste good dipped in a garlic butter sauce, I don't care if they live in my aunt's glove compartment

img.fark.net  Arsonist wanted in Polk County for several wildfires. Well, I normally do house fires, but I guess I could stretch

img.fark.net  Man pleads mental illness on charges the he committed home invasion armed with dagger, because obviously no one sane goes on a crime spree with only a 1d4 damage weapon

img.fark.net  Body of a man who witnesses say was tossed out an airplane lands on the roof of a Mexican hospital. Well, if nothing else, you DO have to admire their aim

img.fark.net  This day in 1912, Titanic passengers dine on roast beef, iceberg lettuce, salt water taffy

img.fark.net  USAF F-35s to be deployed to Europe this weekend, marking a potential escalation where Russia now has to deal with the threat of aircraft parts raining down from overhead


Sports:

img.fark.net  New England Patriots: We don't have anywhere to put our fifth Super Bowl banner. The rest of the NFL: We know where you can put it

img.fark.net  SPOILER ALERT ... *ping*

img.fark.net  70 years ago today, MLB breaks its most important record ever


Geek:

img.fark.net  Lego to launch Apollo 11 Saturn V rocket. Priced at actual cost of a Saturn V rocket

img.fark.net  Researchers determine people happiest when they are 23 and 69. Personally, I've never tried the first one but I'd be willing to learn

img.fark.net  0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  J Geils's blood has run cold

img.fark.net  No more guessing holiday pies

img.fark.net  Any man who don't know who Clifton James was spends a night in the box


Politics:

img.fark.net  The gains in Spain were mainly for the reign

img.fark.net  Poe's Law found dead at hands of Godwin's Law in bizarre murder/suicide case

img.fark.net  IMF still hasn't joined the Greece bailout. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE


Business:

img.fark.net  Italy gives Uber the boot

img.fark.net  An audit reveals that San Diego pays electric bills for 3,712 nonexistent UFOs

img.fark.net  U.S. Steel decides Lake Michigan needs Chrome updates
· · ·

18 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2017-04-17 11:06:53 AM  
Wow, I submitted all of these. What an honor! Thanks, Fark!
 
2017-04-17 11:46:24 AM  
I actually got one. Nice. I'm getting up in submitted headlines.
Probably putting a backwoods TV station on the radar.
 
2017-04-17 11:48:34 AM  
I prefer to stay under the radar.
 
2017-04-17 12:01:18 PM  
Anyone with more than 1400 greenlights is a moran.
 
2017-04-17 12:08:17 PM  
I missed the roof sentencing one. Link please?
 
2017-04-17 12:09:17 PM  

markie_farkie: Anyone with more than 1400 greenlights is a moran.


New a guy names Moran back in the day.

He was kind of a moron....
 
2017-04-17 12:10:45 PM  
That Titanic headline was shown to be a stolen joke and should therefore be shunned and ridiculed.

dpoisn.com
 
2017-04-17 12:12:19 PM  

Smoking GNU: I missed the roof sentencing one. Link please?


It's a clickable link.
 
2017-04-17 12:16:01 PM  

ox45tallboy: Smoking GNU: I missed the roof sentencing one. Link please?

It's a clickable link.


Oh. Well, this is the first time i've been in this kind of thread. So i'm pleading ignorance.
 
2017-04-17 12:21:55 PM  

Smoking GNU: ox45tallboy: Smoking GNU: I missed the roof sentencing one. Link please?

It's a clickable link.

Oh. Well, this is the first time i've been in this kind of thread. So i'm pleading ignorance.


It's all good. Anything in blue is generally clickable.
 
2017-04-17 12:24:39 PM  

Smoking GNU: ox45tallboy: Smoking GNU: I missed the roof sentencing one. Link please?

It's a clickable link.

Oh. Well, this is the first time i've been in this kind of thread. So i'm pleading ignorance.


img.fark.net
Well, here's a clickable link, then.
 
2017-04-17 12:43:42 PM  
Woo hoo! First time one of my headlines made it.  I don't have to spend another night in the box.
 
2017-04-17 01:11:05 PM  
One of mine made it! Living the Fark dream
 
2017-04-17 02:00:21 PM  

durbnpoisn: That Titanic headline was shown to be a stolen joke and should therefore be shunned and ridiculed.

[dpoisn.com image 48x18]


Three points:
1. Yes you're right.
2. Coming from anyone who HADN'T been around here as long as you, I'd have to come up with a snarky, smart-assed riposte to that complaint. But it's a legit gripe.
3. Okay, I lied. There are only two points.
 
2017-04-17 02:10:25 PM  

MBooda: Woo hoo! First time one of my headlines made it.  I don't have to spend another night in the box.


You said "Woo Hoo"
That's a night in the box.
 
2017-04-17 03:26:07 PM  
#1? I'm honored?
 
2017-04-17 03:54:05 PM  

Mussel Shoals: #1? I'm honored?


Question Mark?
 
2017-04-17 08:26:03 PM  

CJDixon: Mussel Shoals: #1? I'm honored?

Question Mark?


And the mysterians.
 
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