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Geronimo, hamsters, and Buddhist monk sex scandals: Headlines of the Week for Feb 15 - Feb 21 
Posted by Drew at 2009-02-23 3:01:18 PM (13 comments) | Permalink
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5756 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2009 at 3:33 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-02-15 to Sat 2009-02-21:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Man is charged after throwing soda can at woman's head. She'll be fine, it was a soft drink [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Akron math teacher's blood-alcohol level was three times legal limit, proving you shouldn't drink and derive [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Spelling bee may be canceled due to budget cuts. EVERYBODY PANIK [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Dentist charged for filling minor cavities [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]There are five types of orgasm. The positive ("Oh YES"), the negative ("oh NO"), the Religious ("oh GOD"), the fake ("oh SUBBY"), and the one where you call out the wrong name and get strangled [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Geronimo's descendants sue Skull and Bones club for return of their ancestor's remains. Also ask that we yell something else when jumping out of airplanes [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Georgian scientists develop technique for harnessing energy from hamsters, you just have to make sure they're in the right gere first [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Old and busted: Catholic Priest sex scandal. New Hotness: Buddhist Monk sex Scandal. So, would that be Monk, he see - Monk, he do? [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Man dies while playing hide-and-seek. Police set to launch investigation in one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Woman sues Yahoo when a search for her own name brings up porn, spam. Sucks to be you, Penny Sinlargement of Viagra Falls, Wisconsin [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Man decides to go bungee jumping, thinks there's nothing wrong with the cord. Frayed knot. [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Co-pilot of flight that landed in the Hudson River will throw out first pitch at Brewers' home opener. Pitch likely to be a sinker [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Kings and Timberwolves agree to four-player deal. Bobby Brown goes to the T-Wolves who are now expected to beat the crap out of Houston [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Harlem Globetrotter arrested on domestic violence charges. Wow - I guess they're real basketball players after all [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Male whales like big humps and they cannot lie, cetacean brothers can't deny [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]New technology allows jewelry to be coated in DNA to prevent theft, suddenly making your wife's pearl necklace the safest thing in the world [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Did you ever wonder why humans didn't develop long prehensile toes that would act as extra fingers? Scientists find that chimps like us, baby, we were born to run [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Showbiz:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Millionaire Salma Hayek overcomes the socio-economic divide and weds French billionaire [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Tom Cruise takes Katie Holmes out for a romantic day at Disney World. "She's an extraordinary woman. She is funny and smart and she likes the same things that I do." Like men [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]In what may be the worst timed really bad idea since the 17 Feb 1945 Grand Opening Sale of the Dresden Fireworks Co, Kim Kardashian gets a chimpanzee [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]"Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda". This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Norm Coleman wants the votes he originally wanted thrown out, then counted, then omitted, then included, to be thrown out again. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Recount [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Obama says people should see tax cut help by April 1, also adds that Burger King is making left-handed Whoppers, Taco Bell will re-name The Liberty Bell, and that this year's spaghetti harvest will be the best one in decades [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]National Amusement theatres to be sold off. Sales times are 11:00, 2:15, 4:35, 6:55, 9:35, 11:45

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Longtime independent Alaska Air can't rule out merger. Giant guy on side of plane says "Inuit all along" [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]Whenever I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel the cool sensation of a tropical factory in Mexico [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
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13 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2009-02-23 03:27:05 PM  
No blog post from Drew this week, as his liver is trying to keep pace with the steady pace of 10-year anniversary Fark parties. In the meantime, though, enjoy the some of last week's better headlines.
 
2009-02-23 03:29:38 PM  
I hope he's OK after DC on Saturday night.
 
2009-02-23 03:33:07 PM  
w00t.
 
2009-02-23 03:43:38 PM  
I'll take Penny Sinlargement for 200, Alex.
 
2009-02-23 03:52:12 PM  
no headlines from music? dang, i didn't stand a chance
 
2009-02-23 03:55:48 PM  
"Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda". This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words

Current frontrunner for headline of the year.
 
2009-02-23 04:25:22 PM  
I like Drew.
 
2009-02-23 04:44:14 PM  
Hampsters? Really?
 
2009-02-23 04:50:34 PM  
"Dentist charged for filling minor cavities" is definitely the best
 
2009-02-23 05:11:08 PM  
Geronimo's descendants sue Skull and Bones club for return of their ancestor's remains. Also ask that we yell something else when jumping out of airplanes

I really liked that one :)
 
2009-02-23 05:46:38 PM  
Is there anything a Hamster can not due?
 
2009-02-23 06:28:11 PM  
No "Rise, Sir Osis of the liver"? :(
 
2009-02-23 09:02:04 PM  
This and more - next on Sick Sad World.
 
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