Fark headlines of the week, November 10 - November 17. Come for the bungee headline; stay for the dig at the Maple Leafs
Posted by Drew at 2008-11-17 2:22:36 PM, edited 2009-01-19 4:09:43 AM (69 comments) | Permalink
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Here's this week's top headlines. Great stuff as usual.
I wanted to take a quick opportunity to thank just a few of the MSM outlets that quoted Fark taglines recently. We really appreciate it. Everyone feel free to do the same, we don't mind a bit. Publicity is good.
Both the Seattle Times and the Las Vegas Review used our headline about the Detroit Lions moving to the 3-and-out offense. The LA Times loved our little ditty about Hendrix, while The Star-Tribune took note of the Domo-Kun sellout at Target and referenced the original Fark photoshop that started the craze. The Baltimore Sun enjoyed our headline about rugby players being inconvenienced during a match when a dead player was removed from the field. And of course, ABCNews is finally agreeing with what Fark has been preaching all along: Florida is stupid.
And we love the mentions and the use of our material, we encourage it. Please link back to us though (we're lookin' at you, MSN).
And for a little It's not Fark, It's News: here's the most important obscure thing that happened last week in case you missed it (and most people did, it's complicated). "Bretton Woods II". Material and research on this is scattershot on the web, for instance Wikipedia redirects "Bretton Woods System" to "2008 G-20 Washington Summit" but that's not exactly right, per se. So read up on that.
Okay, so here's the headlines:
Headlines of the Week, November 10 - November 16, 2008
20 facts about bungee jumping. 20 facts about bungee. 20 facts about. 20 facts. 20
Restraining order issued against Las Vegas' Valley Eye Center. To be written in the smallest font possible
German brothel offers free entry to anyone who gets its logo tattooed on his arm. Gives a whole new meaning to 'tramp stamps'
Doe, my deer, fell from my truck. Hey, just where the hell'd it go? See, anyone see my deer? Far, how far could it have gone?
Zoo janitor decides to give himself a promotion to animal feeder. He was delicious
Study shows same-sex heart transplants to be better. Hordes of people immediately begin attempts to disprove this finding in order to "preserve the sanctity of surgery"
Two arrested after trying to burn down the "Bottoms Up" strip club, charged with attempted arsen
Bag of bones found in Caylee Anthony case; authorites trying to rule out Calista Flockhart sighting
Iran test-fires surface-to-air photoshops
The economic crisis is so deep that bewildered administrators at Harvard are googling terms like "spending cut" and "budget" and "perrier-drinking twatwaffle"
Top Headline for each tab:
Pair of Stanley Cup rings stolen in Toronto. Police still trying to determine what two Stanley Cup rings were doing in Toronto
Oakland Raiders offensive coordinator Greg Knapp stripped of play-calling duties. Raiders fans stunned to learn that plays were actually called and not just made up in the huddle, sandlot-style
Culpepper: "Tell me a play that usually works well for you guys and we'll do that." Smith: "... we punt pretty well?" Culpepper: "OK. Let's run up the middle three times and run that"
QVC to lay off 6 percent of workers. But if you call in now, they'll cut another 10 percent
Steve Jobs can fix American automakers, but the new cars will cost twice as much as Japanese ones, and come only in white
Best Buy cuts profit forecast, warns worst is yet to come, announces plans to change name to "Good Buy"
Scientists believe 90 year old Lonesome George's new-found libido could save his species. Hope springs a turtle
Clown control to Mao Tse Tung (T-5)
Politicians want to "name and shame" ISPs who fail to remove offensive material, fail to realize ISPs know no shame
Witness reports Rod Stewart and Robbie Williams nearly came to blows over Rachel Hunter. It is unclear who tried to blow who
Fox News Channel expected to thrive in Obama presidency as its legions of viewers band together for support against The Enemy, much like goths at the mall food court
Debbie Matenopoulos's husband files for divorce, custody of all remaining vowels
Clinton aides say she learned as first lady how to be effective as a "backdoor diplomat", or at least that's what Bill called it
Bishops moving quickly, diagonally, to try to put the Freedom of Choice act into check
Putting his prison training to good use, former Rep. Mark Foley backs out of Today show interview
(Music and Video headlines are not included)
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