Masseuse snatches Rolex, Chinese may have found range to MH370 with one ping only, and the Gary Busey Hypothesis: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/30 - 4/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-04-07 12:31:20 PM (4 comments) | Permalink
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Welcome back to a new week of headlines, everybody. Some strong headlines this week--a few good ones didn't make it.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-03-30 to Sat 2014-04-05:
Masseuse snatches $35,000 Rolex
Bisexual woman tired of stereotypes that try to force her into a box
Seekers of the holy grail say they never expected the Spanish exhibition
What light through yonder windshield breaks
Cheer up, men: It turns out women actually enjoy faking orgasms. Or else they're telling researchers that to make them feel better
Jeffrey Dahmer's childhood home for sale, with a fantastic dining room that is perfect for having friends for dinner
Left-handed people have better sex? That ain't right
Masturbating yogi hurls dead animal at cop in national park. Boo-boo?
Authorities say Fort Hood Shoot showed no signs of Suicidal Tendencies, so they considered him a Minor Threat
Should we be in favor of the pro-orgasm movement? Yes yes YES YES OH GOD YES YES YES
Chinese verify range to target, one ping only
Don Baylor gets a leg up on Jose Reyes
Tiger Woods now resting after successful back surgery. Apparently doctors were able to remove all the fragments from what appears to be an old 9 iron
Michael Schumacher having moments of consciousness, first spoken words reported to be "It was the Stig, the STIG"
Miso soup protects against cancer. Miso horny increases risk of STDs
Researchers find the smaller your teeth, the smarter you are in what they have tentatively called "the Gary Busey hypothesis"
Underground ocean found on moon of Saturn. Search for MH370 to start there Monday
Miley Cyrus devastated after death of her dog. No word yet on whether the gunshot was self-inflicted
Paula Deen closes restaurant after finding out she is no longer in the black
Why the next late-night TV show host should be a woman. Or if one is not available, Chelsea Handler
Bowser wins Democratic mayoral primary for Washington, DC. Expected to lose to Mario (R-Mushroom Kingdom) in the general
Sean Hannity "investigates" Spring Break, wakes up the next morning to Gretchen Carlson and a goat
15-20% aren't paying their Taftcare premiums. Subby wanted McKinley Single Payer anyway
Congressional report says that regulators ignored a "pattern of problems" at GM. A pattern of problems meaning Vega, Chevette, Cimarron, Aztec
After 60 years, Philip Morris closes Australian cigarette plant. 180 workers given second hand stock
Brookstone files Chapter 11 on news that maybe, just MAYBE, there isn't really a big market for combination radio/juice extractor/foot massager/bluetooth speaker/hemorrhoid donut/wine decanter/overnight bag/nose hair trimmer thingies
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