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Masseuse snatches Rolex, Chinese may have found range to MH370 with one ping only, and the Gary Busey Hypothesis: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/30 - 4/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-04-07 12:31:20 PM (4 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog, Rolex, Fark

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1580 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2014 at 1:46 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Welcome back to a new week of headlines, everybody. Some strong headlines this week--a few good ones didn't make it.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-03-30 to Sat 2014-04-05:

[image from too old to be available]  Masseuse snatches $35,000 Rolex  

[image from too old to be available]  Bisexual woman tired of stereotypes that try to force her into a box  

[image from too old to be available]  Seekers of the holy grail say they never expected the Spanish exhibition  

[image from too old to be available]  What light through yonder windshield breaks  

[image from too old to be available]  Cheer up, men: It turns out women actually enjoy faking orgasms. Or else they're telling researchers that to make them feel better  

[image from too old to be available]  Jeffrey Dahmer's childhood home for sale, with a fantastic dining room that is perfect for having friends for dinner  

[image from too old to be available]  Left-handed people have better sex? That ain't right  

[image from too old to be available]  Masturbating yogi hurls dead animal at cop in national park. Boo-boo?  

[image from too old to be available]  Authorities say Fort Hood Shoot showed no signs of Suicidal Tendencies, so they considered him a Minor Threat  

[image from too old to be available]  Should we be in favor of the pro-orgasm movement? Yes yes YES YES OH GOD YES YES YES  

[image from too old to be available]  Chinese verify range to target, one ping only  


[image from too old to be available]  Don Baylor gets a leg up on Jose Reyes  

[image from too old to be available]  Tiger Woods now resting after successful back surgery. Apparently doctors were able to remove all the fragments from what appears to be an old 9 iron  

[image from too old to be available]  Michael Schumacher having moments of consciousness, first spoken words reported to be "It was the Stig, the STIG"  


[image from too old to be available]  Miso soup protects against cancer. Miso horny increases risk of STDs  

[image from too old to be available]  Researchers find the smaller your teeth, the smarter you are in what they have tentatively called "the Gary Busey hypothesis"  

[image from too old to be available]  Underground ocean found on moon of Saturn. Search for MH370 to start there Monday  


[image from too old to be available]  Miley Cyrus devastated after death of her dog. No word yet on whether the gunshot was self-inflicted  

[image from too old to be available]  Paula Deen closes restaurant after finding out she is no longer in the black  

[image from too old to be available]  Why the next late-night TV show host should be a woman. Or if one is not available, Chelsea Handler  


[image from too old to be available]  Bowser wins Democratic mayoral primary for Washington, DC. Expected to lose to Mario (R-Mushroom Kingdom) in the general  

[image from too old to be available]  Sean Hannity "investigates" Spring Break, wakes up the next morning to Gretchen Carlson and a goat  

[image from too old to be available]  15-20% aren't paying their Taftcare premiums. Subby wanted McKinley Single Payer anyway  


[image from too old to be available]  Congressional report says that regulators ignored a "pattern of problems" at GM. A pattern of problems meaning Vega, Chevette, Cimarron, Aztec  

[image from too old to be available]  After 60 years, Philip Morris closes Australian cigarette plant. 180 workers given second hand stock  

[image from too old to be available]  Brookstone files Chapter 11 on news that maybe, just MAYBE, there isn't really a big market for combination radio/juice extractor/foot massager/bluetooth speaker/hemorrhoid donut/wine decanter/overnight bag/nose hair trimmer thingies
· · ·

4 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-04-07 01:42:34 PM  
2014-04-07 02:10:09 PM  

somedude210: How the heck did this not make it last week?

Obama calls Ryan budget a "stinkburger", Ryan calls Obama administration a bunch of "poopyheads", Biden calls Ryan's wife

That one did make me laugh.
2014-04-07 02:27:57 PM  
The "one ping only" headline would have been gold had "ping" been capitalized.
2014-04-08 07:41:16 AM  

Demetrius: somedude210: How the heck did this not make it last week?

Obama calls Ryan budget a "stinkburger", Ryan calls Obama administration a bunch of "poopyheads", Biden calls Ryan's wife

That one did make me laugh.

I did both that and the Hannity discovering Spring Break one. I always liked the Biden one better. I didn't even think the Hannity one was upvoted at all
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