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Ear bite victim waives hearing, tampon flasks for smuggling Bloody Marys, and Cthulhu yoga: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/9 - 3/15
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-03-17 7:17:05 PM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1914 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2014 at 7:22 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Som of our favroites from last week. Lots to enjoy. I may or may not be drunk

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-03-09 to Sat 2014-03-15:

[image from too old to be available]  Powerful earthquake strikes Eureka. At least that's what the sheriff says it was  

[image from too old to be available]  Woman arrested for biting off chunk of boyfriend's ear is charged with felony after victim waives hearing  

[image from too old to be available]  Man brings BB gun to debt argument, demanding payment. Debtor and his shotgun decide to refinance  

[image from too old to be available]  Megachurch gets robbed of $600k by thief who doesn't understand "professional courtesy"  

[image from too old to be available]  50 years later, Kitty Genovese's murder still fascinates. Somebody should probably submit a thread about it. Well, there are a ton of Farkers. I'm sure someone will get around to it  

[image from too old to be available]  Student dies in Khartoum violence. No word if an anvil was used  

[image from too old to be available]  Grand Rapids, Michigan considers taking public spitting ban off the books. Escorts reportedly thrilled  

[image from too old to be available]  Prosecutors worry judge may only give five years to infomercial pitchman, but if they ACT NOW, WE'LL GIVE THEM AN ADDITIONAL FIVE YEARS FOR THE SAME PRICE  

[image from too old to be available]  Chimpanzees can play video games better than kindergarteners, though they do get confused when poor Donkey Kong is portrayed as the villain  

[image from too old to be available]  Prosecutors say Houston man who shot and killed his 17-year old daughter's boyfriend after finding them in bed together is unlikely to face charges due to the legal precedent of "see, now, this here is Texas"  

[image from too old to be available]  Urban Outfitters to sell flasks disguised as tampons. They work especially well for smuggling Bloody Marys  


[image from too old to be available]  WWE Superstar Kane has opened his own insurance company, guarantees fair payouts on Hellfire and Brimstone damage or acts of gawd  

[image from too old to be available]  Julius Peppers picks the Packers, pending papers  

[image from too old to be available]  NASCAR driver has substitutes willing to take his place if his wife goes into labor. No word on who he will choose to hold her hand and put up with her insults and screaming  


[image from too old to be available]  WWF reports that in Nepal in 2012, no rhinos, tigers, or elephants were poached. Chair shots and steel cage matches still on the rise, however  

[image from too old to be available]  Gamer reaches goal of one million points in Xbox Titanfall, starts working toward next major goal of learning how to unhook a bra  

[image from too old to be available]  Turns out, there IS a style of yoga based on the worship of ancient demonic gods intent on death and insanity. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn....hold it...hold breathe"  


[image from too old to be available]  Kim Kardashian signs a big ass pre-nuptial agreement  

[image from too old to be available]  You are erect, sir  

[image from too old to be available]  Jim, Beam me up  


[image from too old to be available]  Federal prosecutors seek records tied to Christie ally. Ted Danson, Shelley Long, George Wendt, and John Ratzenberger also wanted for questioning  

[image from too old to be available]  Primary challenger calls Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) "ambiguously gay." In response, Sen. Graham exclaimed, "What's everybody looking at?"  

[image from too old to be available]  Sarah Palin's tour bus for sale. It may or may not run  


[image from too old to be available]  33 "Poop Cruise" passengers want Carnival to pay each $5000 per month. Lawyers to review the logs  

[image from too old to be available]  Denver hosts its first ever marijuana job search this week. Officials fear that applicants won't be showing up until next week  

[image from too old to be available]  Krispy Kreme profit widens in 4th quarter, hindquarter
· · ·

2 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-03-17 07:53:33 PM  
Modmin, caught sayof - Som say yes OR It's St. Patty's
2014-03-17 08:40:30 PM  
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