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Hitchcock's even scarier shower scene, a long overdue conversation about cooties, and the most dangerous race in the world since the Mongols: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/5 - 1/11 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-01-13 6:35:46 PM (5 comments) | Permalink

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2952 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2014 at 6:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Submitters are already picking it up in 2014. Well done.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-01-05 to Sat 2014-01-11:

[image from too old to be available]  One dead in Hell's Kitchen fire. SHUT IT DOWN YOU FARKING DONKEYS  

[image from too old to be available]  Chicago man seeks shelter from cold for wife and himself, "I can't risk waking up with my wife frozen next to me." That's how most men fall asleep, dude  

[image from too old to be available]  Unreleased Hitchcock movie has an even scarier shower scene  

[image from too old to be available]  Pope Francis eliminates "monsignor" honorific for priests, says that they should not have any titles, especially "prime suspect"  

[image from too old to be available]  Toddler from expletive filled video removed from the home. When asked to comment, the boy replied "I do believe this is a travesty. In due time, the truth will come out, and my loving family will be absolved of any wrong doing." (paraphrased)  

[image from too old to be available]  Genie Lift touches power lines, releasing magic smoke. No word on who wished for a power outage, or how many wishes they have left  

[image from too old to be available]  Ancient hominid, "Nutcracker Man", had strong jaws, lived on grass and nuts, fought his sworn enemies, the mice  

[image from too old to be available]  Coast Guard rescues crewman with severed foot. Seems like a life preserver would have worked better  

[image from too old to be available]  Male college student's request for a "religious accommodation" to not be required to work or interact with female students may finally spark a serious, long-overdue national conversation about "cooties"  

[image from too old to be available]  Investigators baffled by mysterious disappearance of two men who went missing more than a week ago on fishing trip in Georgia, hold out hope for their Deliverance  

[image from too old to be available]  Stage hypnotist dies after falling off balcony. He must have been verrrry sleeeepy  


[image from too old to be available]  Member of English cricket talks down suicidal man from Australian bridge, telling him that England flew 5,000 miles to die in Australia and they have priority  

[image from too old to be available]  Tim Tebow attempts comeback with workouts 10 hours a day, six days a week. Unfortunately as NFL teams remember, he doesn't do anything physical on Sunday  

[image from too old to be available]  The 2014 Dakar Rally, the most dangerous race in the world since the Mongols, is about to kick off  


[image from too old to be available]  John McAfee is happy that his name is being taken off of his antivirus software, acknowledging that it was easier than getting the software off of a computer  

[image from too old to be available]  Thousands of breast cancer patients carry the "survivor" gene, which is reportedly ribbon-like and mostly likely pink in color  

[image from too old to be available]  Elephant shark beats out viewers of Duck Dynasty for "least evolved species"  


[image from too old to be available]  Insane Clown Posse sue FBI over Juggalos' gang classification. Clearly, this will not be a class action suit  

[image from too old to be available]  57-year-old David Copperfield to wed 28-year-old French model after performing the illusion that he's able to saw his age in half  

[image from too old to be available]  Shia LeBoeuf announces his retirement from public life, using a nice speech originally written by J.D. Salinger  


[image from too old to be available]  Governor Christie blocks three lanes of traffic. This is not a fat joke  

[image from too old to be available]  Alan Keyes says Jesus Christ is inspiring his efforts to impeach Obama, presumably the same Jesus who inspired his senatorial bid against Obama in '04. A race Keyes lost in a humiliating blow-out. Apparently the Lord enjoys a good laugh now and again  

[image from too old to be available]  White House denies Robert Gates's charge that Vice President Biden is often wrong, says they want to set the record straight that Biden is always wrong  


[image from too old to be available]  Nvidia says 'mysterious' crop circle that baffled locals in Chualar, California was a publicity stunt. Too late, aliens have already taken the credit  

[image from too old to be available]  New U.S Olympic bobsled is designed by BMW. Although if the bobsled team wanted a vehicle that borders on being out of control down icy slopes with no chance of stopping, they should have gone with Chrysler  

[image from too old to be available]  Surprising: AOL offers to buy Business Insider for $100 million. More surprising: AOL has $100 million  

· · ·
(view entire blog)

5 Comments   (+0 »)
2014-01-13 07:08:11 PM  
Not a headline, but the college religious accommodation thread had easily one of the best posts of the week.
2014-01-13 07:17:05 PM  
I was robbed!

/not really
2014-01-13 07:27:59 PM  
The Hitchcock scarier shower scene was incredibly morbid...

/early contender for HOTY
2014-01-13 07:38:15 PM  
Excellent crop this week.
2014-01-13 10:18:23 PM  

fusillade762: Not a headline, but the college religious accommodation thread had easily one of the best posts of the week.

[ image 850x166]

thank you...the headline was mine too, and I almost went with engineering joke instead, but felt it worked better as post
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