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Jason Collins comes out as the third gay Wizard after Dumbledore and Gandalf, RIP Kris †, and Tebow prepares to rise again: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/28 - 5/4
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-05-06 5:17:19 PM (12 comments) | Permalink

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2354 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2013 at 5:17 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Some great headlines this week, and definitely a few that I think will be finalists in the Headline of the Year contests. Well done, submitters.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-04-28 to Sat 2013-05-04:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Captain's log: Passenger detained by TSA for not flushing toilet  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Old and busted: Mid-life crises. New hotness: Quarter-life crises, also known as The Lohan  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Sandy dumped 11 BILLION gallons of raw sewage on the New Jersey shoreline, then spent the next six weeks using medicated wipes and sitting on an inflatable donut  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Deaf parents charged with killing their crying baby, waive their right to hearing  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Leachman horses headed for kill plant. BLUCHER  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Full moon gets partial blame for death of "Stonewall" Jackson after being shot by his own troops during the Civil War. Although to be fair they did use silver bullets  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man gets in fight over expired coupon. Surprisingly, giant chicken not involved  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Taco Bell working on new 'low-end' menu. That's the joke  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man charged with killing wife with pickaxe, hitting Q to discard evidence  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Transgender student denied access to Smith College all because of one little box  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Chewbacca saves woman from motel fire. That does not make sense  


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The Jets have released Tim Tebow. He will be signed again in three days to judge the living and the dead, and his season will have no end  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  NBA player Jason Collins comes out as gay, which makes him the third gay Wizard after Gandalf and Dumbledore  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  High school golf team finishes three under car  


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Campaigners call for ban on "killer robots"...or at least some sort of preset kill limit  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Scientists believe they've figured out plasma cooling that would bring them another step closer to a fusion reactor, are now trying to make one small enough to fit in a Delorean  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Mars rover Opportunity reboots and goes into standby mode. ALL RIGHT, WHO HERE REMEMBERS THE DAMN PASSWORD?  


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Master of the Cello dies. With the hippin' and the hoppin', and the bippin', and the boppin'  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Star Wars is being translated into the Navajo language -- despite some reservations  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Kris †  


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer has shoulder replacement surgery after a bicycle accident. In an effort to balance the court he opts for two left shoulders  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Justice Pot calls President Kettle an Uncle Tom  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  For US diplomats, "Speak softly and carry a big stick" has turned to "Speak loudly and flail around with the stick like a blindfolded drunk going after a piñata"  


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Penske 1Q profit rises 23% due to the hard work of George Costanza  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  France cuts taxes to become more start-up friendly for businesses. First time ever that "France" and "friendly" have ever been used in the same sentence  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Al Jazeera opens a bureau in Detroit. Apparently they want to show their viewers in the Middle East that things could be worse
· · ·

12 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-05-06 05:26:29 PM  
Really good week for headlines
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-05-06 05:45:21 PM  
Unfreakable: Really good week for headlines

Yet none of mine are on the list.
 
2013-05-06 05:57:54 PM  
Woohoo, my first headline of the week.
 
2013-05-06 06:11:33 PM  

ZAZ: Unfreakable: Really good week for headlines

Yet none of mine are on the list.


Which is a shame, you've had some fantastic headlines before.
 
2013-05-06 06:20:15 PM  

pag1107: Woohoo, my first headline of the week.


Congratulations! :-)
 
2013-05-06 06:33:10 PM  
Why, thank you.
I would like to celebrate being an Entertainment HOTW with this picture of Bill Cosby made out of Jello shots.
i229.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-06 08:30:32 PM  

pag1107: Woohoo, my first headline of the week.


Me too!
 
2013-05-06 08:35:38 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: pag1107: Woohoo, my first headline of the week.

Me too!

Alright..Which one did wut???
 
2013-05-06 08:47:01 PM  
Kris †

But I have to say that puffy999 said it in a post in a previous thread. I didn't see it until after I submitted the headline, and didn't know that he'd posted it, but I give credit to him that he thought of it first. He's been very gracious about it; didn't even mention it, and calbert brought it to my attention. No drama, and a gracious attitude makes puffy999 aces in my book. When his TF runs out, I owe him a month.
 
2013-05-07 02:00:23 AM  
awwww, my "George Bush. Terminal" one didn't make it.

ah well.
 
2013-05-07 11:02:56 AM  

ZAZ: Unfreakable: Really good week for headlines

Yet none of mine are on the list.


nor mine

but then again my headlines are like AAA Amateur "ha ha" funny level. I haven't gone to the pros yet
 
2013-05-07 12:40:39 PM  

spidermann: awwww, my "George Bush. Terminal" one didn't make it.

ah well.


It shoulda. That was a good 'un.
 
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