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Pianist caught in snow blower, the Lord works in listerious wheys, and hell hath no fury like a woman porned: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/20 - 1/26 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-01-28 3:03:40 PM (16 comments) | Permalink

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3095 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 3:05 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Not too much to add this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-01-20 to Sat 2013-01-26:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Two women wounded in Las Vegas soccer field shooting. If only the players were allowed to use their arms    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Pianist caught in snow blower. Men everywhere flinch instinctively    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Scientists find skeletal remains of a woman that had pelvic teeth. Think about that    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Convicted IRA bomber and key witness against Gerry Adams found dead after tragically and accidentally stabbing herself in the back several times with a drug overdose    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  New research indicates lightning strikes trigger migrane headaches. That's putting it mildly    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The Lord works in listerious wheys    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Cop cops copper copping copper    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Tortoise survives 30 years locked in a storeroom, tells reporters, "They went by pretty fast"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Hell hath no fury like a woman porned    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man arrested for stealing 166 manhole covers. Hopefully he gets to keep one with him in jail    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Scientists say your molar roots are the result of Homo Erectus DNA, refuse to comment on how that got into your mouth    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  For the first time since 2007, both Super Bowl head coaches will be brothers    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Maloof brothers agree to sell Sacramento Kings to Seattle group led by investor Chris Hansen, although they believe the buyer is a 13-year old girl named Brandi    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Teddy has hand picked Taft as the new Nationals mascot. This new alliance will help propel the two presidents to victory for at least four years until the fans tire of their shenanigans and they are replaced with Woodrow Wilson    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Mozilla reveals its first two Firefox phones, promptly asks you to reload the article to upgrade to v1.18.25.2    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  After bringing 640,000 cases of cholera to Haiti after the quake, the UN says it has a plan to fix things. In other news, Haiti braces for outbreaks of AIDS, smallpox, influenza, malaria, ebola, the plague, cancer, TB, polio and Sean Penn    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Cuba activates first high-speed internet connection using only spare parts from a '53 Chevy    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  John Cleese has to sell off props and photos to fund multi-million-pound divorce in "Monty Python and the Holy Sale"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  In a headline one word too long, Jonas Brothers fan claims Joe Jonas blew him off    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  A looooHOOOOoook insIIIIIIIIIiiiide the wo-hu-hu-hu-rold of AAAAaaaron Ne-eh-eh-eh-viiiiiiiiile    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  GOP leaders meeting this week to work on minority outreach, trying to get all shades of white people to join their party, from translucent all the way to artificially tanned    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Obama spokesman claims Obama "would object" to the "annihilation" of the Republican Party, proving once again that he is out of the mainstream and not in touch with what the average American really wants    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Mark Kelly: Gabby and I will do "whatever it takes" for gun control. When asked for comment, Gabby responded: "no sidewindin' bushwackin', hornswagglin' cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  AT&T "snatches" Alltel, obviously creating AT&T&A    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Best Buy briefly downgraded to Marginal Buy    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Starbucks 1Q up 13%, pleasing investors, shareholders, bean counters    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


16 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-01-28 03:46:00 PM  
No love for the top voted??
 
2013-01-28 03:48:36 PM  

doyner: No love for the top voted??


Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?
 
2013-01-28 03:50:23 PM  

Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?


Well...I am a little biased.
 
2013-01-28 03:59:06 PM  

doyner: Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

Well...I am a little biased.


FWIW I support your totally biased and self-serving proposed addition. In addition to being a great headline, it was also about 10x better than any of the other dozens of headlines for the same story (mine included).
 
2013-01-28 04:06:00 PM  
"Copper" has mettle.
 
2013-01-28 04:10:31 PM  

doyner: Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

Well...I am a little biased.


It was a good headline, and has been saved in the "context" category, since the headline is only funny in relation to the linked story. It's a separate contest every year:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7511624
 
2013-01-28 04:23:38 PM  
Ah.  Thanks.  I'll shut up now.
 
2013-01-28 04:30:25 PM  
listerious wheys is one of the best puns in the history of Fark.
 
2013-01-28 04:31:04 PM  
Missed "coaches will be brothers"

Sports HOTY contender
 
2013-01-28 04:44:03 PM  

Banned on the Run: Missed "coaches will be brothers"


ORLY?
 
2013-01-28 04:50:42 PM  
Manhole cover. Bwahaha.
 
2013-01-28 05:07:25 PM  
I'm just happy to have had one of mine included this week.
 
2013-01-28 06:11:19 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: I'm just happy to have had one of mine included this week.


Same here--first one for me in a couple or months, I think. I suck at headlines lately.
 
2013-01-28 07:03:54 PM  
FarkUs tab apparently not worthy of participation.
 
2013-01-29 11:42:37 AM  

Unfreakable: doyner: Unfreakable: doyner: No love for the top voted??

Was the headline worthy of consideration for the Headline of the Year contest?

Well...I am a little biased.

It was a good headline, and has been saved in the "context" category, since the headline is only funny in relation to the linked story. It's a separate contest every year:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7511624


I came for the same fight.  Shutting up too.
 
2013-01-29 10:05:35 PM  
Woohoo, second week in a row with a HOTW. Gotta love Blazing Saddles headlines (and the impending thread)

2-1 for the year, I'm liking my chances to finally get into the HOTY finals
 
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