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RG3 wins the Theismann Trophy, a wine supporting equality for gay Americans that doesn't come in a box, and archaeologists still haven't found the Stargate: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/6 - 1/12 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-01-14 11:25:57 AM (15 comments) | Permalink

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2813 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2013 at 1:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Hey, everybody. As we start a new week, these were some of the favorite headlines from last week. Some good ones in there if you missed any.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-01-06 to Sat 2013-01-12:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  University of Texas women's track coach resigns after lapping one of her student-athletes    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Woman pleads guilty in 'total identity theft' case. At least we think it was her. She's pretty good at this    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Volunteers needed for census. Must speeeeeeaaaaaaaaak whaaaaaaaaaaaale    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Pakistani troops kill two jawans in Poonch. A spokesman for the dead replied, "Ootini"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  HI there I'm Ricky Bobby. And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. We like to have fun out there on the race track, but there's something we have to tell you. Packs of vicious stray dogs are controlling most of the major cities of Mexico    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Taco Bell gives loyal high school swimmer a custom made Speedo as company finally decides to think inside the buns    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Woman determined to consume only Starbucks products for an entire year, will go bankrupt sometime in March    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Archaeologists unearth 3,000-year-old Egyptian tombs; the search for Stargate is still ongoing    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Workers renovating TV station find newspaper stuffed inside wall from October 3, 1949. Pics will give you younger Farkers a lesson in dead historical figures like Stalin, Joe Louis, newspapers    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Delaware woman had sex with a dog while her boyfriend took pics. It was supposed to be the other way around, but the dog was having trouble with the shutter and the evening just got out of control    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  DC Prosecutors have decided to not to charge the David Gregory with breaking the law. Finally, a rich affluent white person can get justice in America    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  RG3 wins the Theismann Trophy    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The Crimson Tide hand the Irish their worst defeat since the Easter Rebellion    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Hey John Elway, I hear Tim Tebow is available in case you want a QB who won't choke in OT of a playoff game    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Argentina to hand out 82 million free condoms. Or as UCLA calls it, homecoming weekend    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  First issue of new 'Star Wars' series from Dark Horse sells out in under 24 hours. George Lucas scoffs, says he can sell out in half the time    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  DHS advises everybody to disable Java immediately. Purple alert    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  New film covers what "Lincoln" missed. Intermission?    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Cuba cracks down on racy music lyrics, will now have the blandest Salsa outside of Taco Bell    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Woman sees Les Miserables 957 times. No word on who was taking care of her cats    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Mark Sanford is set to announce his plan to run for Congress, where he hopes to join the House Committee on Foreign Affairs    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Congressman Charlie Rangel says the lack of diversity in Obama's White House is "as embarassing as hell". In response, the White House points out they do have one black guy in a kinda important position    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Fiat 500 electric car is rated at 116 miles per gallon. Can be pushed by three friends from zero to 30 miles per hour in under six seconds    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Importer announces 'the first wine created in support of equality for gay Americans'. It doesn't come in a box    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Boeing chief engineer says its Dreamliner jets are "100% safe to fly", although it's the takeoffs and landings where things still get a little dicey    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


15 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-01-14 12:12:58 PM  
Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O

Thanks, everyone! :D
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-14 12:51:59 PM  
Captain Steroid: Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"
Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O


Welcome to Fark, Mr. President. Post some pictures of Michelle's boobies.
 
2013-01-14 01:29:38 PM  
The RGIII headline is easily an early candidate for Sports Headline of the Year.
 
2013-01-14 01:36:13 PM  

Captain Steroid: Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O

Thanks, everyone! :D


C'mon that one was WORTH it~! XD

Also, the Theismann Trophy was excellent.
 
2013-01-14 01:58:19 PM  
Good batch:
Theismann trophy
Les Mis
Track coach lapping
Gay wine was OK, but a bit clumsy
Intermission
 
2013-01-14 02:06:48 PM  

Captain Steroid: Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O

Thanks, everyone! :D


Congratulations! :-)
 
2013-01-14 02:10:16 PM  

Rwa2play: Captain Steroid: Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O

Thanks, everyone! :D

C'mon that one was WORTH it~! XD

Also, the Theismann Trophy was excellent.


The Death Star was a great article but not headline. Article didn't need a great headline. Theismann Trophy. Now that's a headline!
 
2013-01-14 02:15:29 PM  
I missed the wine headline the first time around. Excellent.
 
2013-01-14 02:15:37 PM  
Normally the only gay wine I hear about involves someone ruining his silk blouse.
 
2013-01-14 02:30:09 PM  
Missed the gay wine headline also.

"Scent of fruit, taste of nuts."
 
2013-01-14 02:35:06 PM  

Captain Steroid: Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O

Thanks, everyone! :D


What, you're the head of space science at the Office of Budget Responsibility, who actually wrote that headline?

Pretty impressive
 
2013-01-14 03:02:52 PM  
These recaps make my head hurt, because I keep slapping my head once I finally get the joke (s).
 
2013-01-14 03:15:50 PM  

Rwa2play: Captain Steroid: Politics - Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Holy s**t, that one's MINE! O.O

Thanks, everyone! :D

C'mon that one was WORTH it~! XD

Also, the Theismann Trophy was excellent.


I remember being in the thread, when Foaming said that line everyone stopped and bowed down before his greatness. That was easily one of the best sports things I've seen in a thread, just spot on and timely.

I didn't know the Death Star one was you Steroid, nicely done.
 
2013-01-14 04:20:26 PM  
The Death Star headline is funny. But that "fundamental flaw" line is actually in the official White House response. So, kudos to Captain Steroid for his good taste, but credit for the joke goes to Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget.
 
2013-01-14 06:40:45 PM  
I wasn't around to comment when the RGIII thread did its thing, but that headline is absolute gold.

Easily a contender for the Sports HOTY.
 
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