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Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-01-04 1:30:26 PM (190 comments) | Permalink

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17409 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2013 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2012. This year, like every year, there are simply too many good headlines, and all of us probably have a favorite or two (or twenty) that were brilliant, but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame. To those submitters: damn good work and feel free to take a bow in this thread for one you feel proud of.

For the winners, this is your thread. Congratulations to you. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
(submitter: justajonesin)

Runner-up: Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex
(submitter: phlegmmo )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
(submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
(submitter: kiwannabee )

GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill
(submitter: MrGronk )

Runner-up: Recent study finds six out of ten of us wake up grumpy every morning. The other four of us let her sleep in
(submitter: phlegmmo )

ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin
(submitter: Gulper Eel )

Runner-up: Bill Clinton doesn't have interns anymore, so he nailed his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention instead
(submitter: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes )

BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: After BJs, Costco is eager to penetrate deeper into Virginia
(submitter: Joelogon )

Runner-up: If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana
(submitter: NecessaryMeansFor_NecessaryMeansFor )

CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Religious zealot set to take down Jets in New York City
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: o_O
(submitter: shopball )

WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"
(submitter: phlegmmo )

Runner-up: Thieves steal 450 miniature bottles of alcohol. Police hunt someone who is a little drunk
(submitter: plymwebed )

Congratulations and kudos to the winners!
· · ·
(view entire blog)


190 Comments   (+0 »)
   

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-04 01:36:13 PM  
Meh.
 
2013-01-04 01:36:48 PM  
Congrats to all and thanks for the lulz!
 
2013-01-04 01:37:00 PM  
Those were all terrible. Thanks for the laughs
 
2013-01-04 01:37:12 PM  
congrats all.

I knew MrGronk would take it with that Hawking one.
 
2013-01-04 01:37:13 PM  
I was sort of bummed when I saw that phlegmmo had two early runners up and was worried he'd turn into our own version of 0-4 Super Bowl-losing Buffalo Bills, but he got the win with his context headline of the year.

Good work, everybody.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:46 PM  
The Tebow headline was and still is my favorite.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:48 PM  
Seems I voted for mostly second place finishers this year.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:50 PM  
 but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame.

Democracy in action!!!!!!
 
2013-01-04 01:39:27 PM  
- For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card
- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card
- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.
 
2013-01-04 01:39:38 PM  
Always reminds me of Esquire mag's old "Dubious Achievement Awards."

/they still do that issue?

//always funny
 
2013-01-04 01:40:01 PM  
Nice work, everyone, congratulations!
 
2013-01-04 01:40:09 PM  
ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz.
 
2013-01-04 01:40:48 PM  

Arkanaut: ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz.


Hah, I was going to comment the same thing. We're all morbid farks around here.
 
2013-01-04 01:41:06 PM  
Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?
 
2013-01-04 01:41:17 PM  
I submitted this with a better headline.
 
2013-01-04 01:43:34 PM  
Have a year WhoIsWillo.
 
2013-01-04 01:45:26 PM  
Y U NO LINK TO THREADS?!?
 
2013-01-04 01:46:04 PM  
prize: a year of TotalFark.
2nd prize: 2 years of TotalFark
 
2013-01-04 01:46:32 PM  
What are the prizes for the winners?
 
2013-01-04 01:46:47 PM  
Another funny year!  Congrats to the winners!
 
2013-01-04 01:46:59 PM  

Unfreakable: For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF


And for the third place winners, 12 months of free TF?
 
2013-01-04 01:47:03 PM  
Maybe I'm late to the party, but what about the epic headline from February 1st: "Don Cornelius kicks off Black History Month with a bang?"

Was it considered too tasteless?

/Hadn't laughed and shook my head "no" in a long, long time
 
2013-01-04 01:47:50 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?


I posted it about ten posts ago.

/post
 
2013-01-04 01:48:27 PM  

Calvin Butterball: Maybe I'm late to the party, but what about the epic headline from February 1st: "Don Cornelius kicks off Black History Month with a bang?"

Was it considered too tasteless?

/Hadn't laughed and shook my head "no" in a long, long time


It didn't get enough votes to make it to the final contest.
 
2013-01-04 01:48:57 PM  
Congratulations guys! Great stuff!
 
2013-01-04 01:49:16 PM  

swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?


This. I regret that I missed the voting this year... given all the headlines I laughed out loud at this year I thought the overall winner was kind of "meh." But hey, congrats to those who won because I sure as hell didn't come up with any funnies this year.
 
2013-01-04 01:50:00 PM  
Awesome job to one and all, congrats!
 
2013-01-04 01:50:34 PM  

Unfreakable: Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?

I posted it about ten posts ago.

/post


You said "post" thrice.
 
2013-01-04 01:50:55 PM  
Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"
 
2013-01-04 01:52:20 PM  
I'm satisfied.  Well done, Farkers!

Funny for me, I don't recognize the names of most of the submitters.  Do they post an lurk, or am I just in the wrong threads?
 
2013-01-04 01:52:35 PM  

Unfreakable: - For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card
- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card
- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.


2013 New Years Resolution: WIN

Congrats to everyone and thanks for the laughs....
 
2013-01-04 01:53:17 PM  
That Whitney Houston HL had me laughing for days. Congrats!
 
2013-01-04 01:53:21 PM  
Wow. Thanks for everyone who voted, and everyone who submitted. I love this site, and I thank everyone on here. Even you grumpy bastards.
 
2013-01-04 01:53:48 PM  
I didn't want to mention it during the voting, but I appreciated the in-thread compliments for "Printer ink tanker truck overturns. Damages estimated at seven hundred trillion dollars."
 
2013-01-04 01:53:49 PM  

Unfreakable: I was sort of bummed when I saw that phlegmmo had two early runners up and was worried he'd turn into our own version of 0-4 Super Bowl-losing Buffalo Bills, but he got the win with his context headline of the year.

Good work, everybody.


After also earning runner-up in Geek last year, I was beginning to think the same thing.  It's all good, though.

Congrats to everyone.  Thanks for the laughs.
 
2013-01-04 01:56:35 PM  

WhoIsWillo: Wow. Thanks for everyone who voted, and everyone who submitted. I love this site, and I thank everyone on here. Even you grumpy bastards.


I don't like you.

/grumpy
 
2013-01-04 01:57:00 PM  
Congrats to the wieners. Funny stuff.
 
2013-01-04 01:57:11 PM  
I didn't win anything again so fark you all
 
2013-01-04 01:57:44 PM  

Silly Jesus: Meh.


Yeah that is exactly what I said.
 
2013-01-04 02:02:54 PM  
Excellent work, everyone.  This just makes me want to spend even more hours and hours and hours submitting headlines in the hopes that I will, one day, receive an Amazon gift card.

/off to scour the bowels of the internets looking for stuff
 
2013-01-04 02:05:03 PM  

Unfreakable: - For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.



Woo hoo!
 
2013-01-04 02:05:07 PM  
Congrats, winners. I was really pulling for "Burma Planes", but a couple of my other faves made the list so I'm happy.
 
2013-01-04 02:06:17 PM  
 I liked a lot of these... my favorites were the Alzheimer's Walk, Whitney Houston, Bill Clinton & interns, Religious zealot and "Tumor would benign."
 
2013-01-04 02:07:05 PM  
Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death

I was bummed to see this win since it's blatantly plagiarized. The "Ike beats Tina to death" headline from 2007 also made a hell of a lot more sense.

That said, congrats to the winners. there's some funny Farkers up in this joint!

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober" was the most awful and my favorite.
 
2013-01-04 02:08:38 PM  

SoupJohnB: Always reminds me of Esquire mag's old "Dubious Achievement Awards."

/they still do that issue?

//always funny


Why is man laughing?

www.looptvandfilm.com
 
2013-01-04 02:11:08 PM  
Those are all great, but I have to say the overall winner is the weakest. Kinda obvious compared to the rest.
 
2013-01-04 02:11:17 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: I didn't win anything again so fark you all


I dunno.  I had headlines that made it into both the main and context finals, plus a couple more in the semifinals.  I'd say that's as pretty good an effort at shoring up my emotionally bankrupt and hollow existence with some ultimately meaningless internet affirmation as you can get, really.


Still bummed my 'Montenegro, please' headline didn't make it farther, though.
 
2013-01-04 02:11:40 PM  
How close was the main headline contest? I thought both were good but felt the algebra joke was smarter and more worthy.
 
2013-01-04 02:12:44 PM  
what about best redlit headlines
 
2013-01-04 02:15:29 PM  

Gig103: How close was the main headline contest? I thought both were good but felt the algebra joke was smarter and more worthy.


Personally, I did too (that one was my favorite), but the vote difference was around 50-75 votes. To me, it was one of those great Fark headlines--brilliantly executed in the moment as the story came up. That was the only headline I voted for in the mainpage contest.
 
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