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Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-01-04 1:30:26 PM (190 comments) | Permalink

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17392 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2013 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2012. This year, like every year, there are simply too many good headlines, and all of us probably have a favorite or two (or twenty) that were brilliant, but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame. To those submitters: damn good work and feel free to take a bow in this thread for one you feel proud of.

For the winners, this is your thread. Congratulations to you. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
(submitter: justajonesin)

Runner-up: Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex
(submitter: phlegmmo )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
(submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
(submitter: kiwannabee )

GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill
(submitter: MrGronk )

Runner-up: Recent study finds six out of ten of us wake up grumpy every morning. The other four of us let her sleep in
(submitter: phlegmmo )

ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin
(submitter: Gulper Eel )

Runner-up: Bill Clinton doesn't have interns anymore, so he nailed his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention instead
(submitter: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes )

BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: After BJs, Costco is eager to penetrate deeper into Virginia
(submitter: Joelogon )

Runner-up: If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana
(submitter: NecessaryMeansFor_NecessaryMeansFor )

CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Religious zealot set to take down Jets in New York City
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: o_O
(submitter: shopball )

WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"
(submitter: phlegmmo )

Runner-up: Thieves steal 450 miniature bottles of alcohol. Police hunt someone who is a little drunk
(submitter: plymwebed )

Congratulations and kudos to the winners!
· · ·
(view entire blog)


190 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-01-04 01:36:13 PM  
Meh.
 
2013-01-04 01:36:48 PM  
Congrats to all and thanks for the lulz!
 
2013-01-04 01:37:00 PM  
Those were all terrible. Thanks for the laughs
 
2013-01-04 01:37:12 PM  
congrats all.

I knew MrGronk would take it with that Hawking one.
 
2013-01-04 01:37:13 PM  
I was sort of bummed when I saw that phlegmmo had two early runners up and was worried he'd turn into our own version of 0-4 Super Bowl-losing Buffalo Bills, but he got the win with his context headline of the year.

Good work, everybody.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:46 PM  
The Tebow headline was and still is my favorite.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:48 PM  
Seems I voted for mostly second place finishers this year.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:50 PM  
 but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame.

Democracy in action!!!!!!
 
2013-01-04 01:39:27 PM  
- For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card
- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card
- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.
 
2013-01-04 01:39:38 PM  
Always reminds me of Esquire mag's old "Dubious Achievement Awards."

/they still do that issue?

//always funny
 
2013-01-04 01:40:01 PM  
Nice work, everyone, congratulations!
 
2013-01-04 01:40:09 PM  
ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz.
 
2013-01-04 01:40:48 PM  

Arkanaut: ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz.


Hah, I was going to comment the same thing. We're all morbid farks around here.
 
2013-01-04 01:41:06 PM  
Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?
 
2013-01-04 01:41:17 PM  
I submitted this with a better headline.
 
2013-01-04 01:43:34 PM  
Have a year WhoIsWillo.
 
2013-01-04 01:45:26 PM  
Y U NO LINK TO THREADS?!?
 
2013-01-04 01:46:04 PM  
prize: a year of TotalFark.
2nd prize: 2 years of TotalFark
 
2013-01-04 01:46:32 PM  
What are the prizes for the winners?
 
2013-01-04 01:46:47 PM  
Another funny year!  Congrats to the winners!
 
2013-01-04 01:46:59 PM  

Unfreakable: For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF


And for the third place winners, 12 months of free TF?
 
2013-01-04 01:47:03 PM  
Maybe I'm late to the party, but what about the epic headline from February 1st: "Don Cornelius kicks off Black History Month with a bang?"

Was it considered too tasteless?

/Hadn't laughed and shook my head "no" in a long, long time
 
2013-01-04 01:47:50 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?


I posted it about ten posts ago.

/post
 
2013-01-04 01:48:27 PM  

Calvin Butterball: Maybe I'm late to the party, but what about the epic headline from February 1st: "Don Cornelius kicks off Black History Month with a bang?"

Was it considered too tasteless?

/Hadn't laughed and shook my head "no" in a long, long time


It didn't get enough votes to make it to the final contest.
 
2013-01-04 01:48:57 PM  
Congratulations guys! Great stuff!
 
2013-01-04 01:49:16 PM  

swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?


This. I regret that I missed the voting this year... given all the headlines I laughed out loud at this year I thought the overall winner was kind of "meh." But hey, congrats to those who won because I sure as hell didn't come up with any funnies this year.
 
2013-01-04 01:50:00 PM  
Awesome job to one and all, congrats!
 
2013-01-04 01:50:34 PM  

Unfreakable: Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?

I posted it about ten posts ago.

/post


You said "post" thrice.
 
2013-01-04 01:50:55 PM  
Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"
 
2013-01-04 01:52:20 PM  
I'm satisfied.  Well done, Farkers!

Funny for me, I don't recognize the names of most of the submitters.  Do they post an lurk, or am I just in the wrong threads?
 
2013-01-04 01:52:35 PM  

Unfreakable: - For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card
- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card
- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.


2013 New Years Resolution: WIN

Congrats to everyone and thanks for the laughs....
 
2013-01-04 01:53:17 PM  
That Whitney Houston HL had me laughing for days. Congrats!
 
2013-01-04 01:53:21 PM  
Wow. Thanks for everyone who voted, and everyone who submitted. I love this site, and I thank everyone on here. Even you grumpy bastards.
 
2013-01-04 01:53:48 PM  
I didn't want to mention it during the voting, but I appreciated the in-thread compliments for "Printer ink tanker truck overturns. Damages estimated at seven hundred trillion dollars."
 
2013-01-04 01:53:49 PM  

Unfreakable: I was sort of bummed when I saw that phlegmmo had two early runners up and was worried he'd turn into our own version of 0-4 Super Bowl-losing Buffalo Bills, but he got the win with his context headline of the year.

Good work, everybody.


After also earning runner-up in Geek last year, I was beginning to think the same thing.  It's all good, though.

Congrats to everyone.  Thanks for the laughs.
 
2013-01-04 01:56:35 PM  

WhoIsWillo: Wow. Thanks for everyone who voted, and everyone who submitted. I love this site, and I thank everyone on here. Even you grumpy bastards.


I don't like you.

/grumpy
 
2013-01-04 01:57:00 PM  
Congrats to the wieners. Funny stuff.
 
2013-01-04 01:57:11 PM  
I didn't win anything again so fark you all
 
2013-01-04 01:57:44 PM  

Silly Jesus: Meh.


Yeah that is exactly what I said.
 
2013-01-04 02:02:54 PM  
Excellent work, everyone.  This just makes me want to spend even more hours and hours and hours submitting headlines in the hopes that I will, one day, receive an Amazon gift card.

/off to scour the bowels of the internets looking for stuff
 
2013-01-04 02:05:03 PM  

Unfreakable: - For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.



Woo hoo!
 
2013-01-04 02:05:07 PM  
Congrats, winners. I was really pulling for "Burma Planes", but a couple of my other faves made the list so I'm happy.
 
2013-01-04 02:06:17 PM  
 I liked a lot of these... my favorites were the Alzheimer's Walk, Whitney Houston, Bill Clinton & interns, Religious zealot and "Tumor would benign."
 
2013-01-04 02:07:05 PM  
Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death

I was bummed to see this win since it's blatantly plagiarized. The "Ike beats Tina to death" headline from 2007 also made a hell of a lot more sense.

That said, congrats to the winners. there's some funny Farkers up in this joint!

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober" was the most awful and my favorite.
 
2013-01-04 02:08:38 PM  

SoupJohnB: Always reminds me of Esquire mag's old "Dubious Achievement Awards."

/they still do that issue?

//always funny


Why is man laughing?

www.looptvandfilm.com
 
2013-01-04 02:11:08 PM  
Those are all great, but I have to say the overall winner is the weakest. Kinda obvious compared to the rest.
 
2013-01-04 02:11:17 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: I didn't win anything again so fark you all


I dunno.  I had headlines that made it into both the main and context finals, plus a couple more in the semifinals.  I'd say that's as pretty good an effort at shoring up my emotionally bankrupt and hollow existence with some ultimately meaningless internet affirmation as you can get, really.


Still bummed my 'Montenegro, please' headline didn't make it farther, though.
 
2013-01-04 02:11:40 PM  
How close was the main headline contest? I thought both were good but felt the algebra joke was smarter and more worthy.
 
2013-01-04 02:12:44 PM  
what about best redlit headlines
 
2013-01-04 02:15:29 PM  

Gig103: How close was the main headline contest? I thought both were good but felt the algebra joke was smarter and more worthy.


Personally, I did too (that one was my favorite), but the vote difference was around 50-75 votes. To me, it was one of those great Fark headlines--brilliantly executed in the moment as the story came up. That was the only headline I voted for in the mainpage contest.
 
2013-01-04 02:17:29 PM  

calbert: congrats all.

I knew MrGronk would take it with that Hawking one.


It was a runaway favorite (so to speak), and the main argument in favor of the repeat tag for great headlines submitted late.
 
2013-01-04 02:17:35 PM  
The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.
 
2013-01-04 02:19:14 PM  
SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
(submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

*applauds* That was a well played headline. :)

Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
(submitter: kiwannabee )

*boooooooo*

C'mon!!! No love for the Manning headline?! The thread itself was epic beyond all epicness.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:05 PM  
I was really hoping this would be the year Phil Spector newsflash headlines made a come back.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:09 PM  

swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?


Some of them were, but there's no beating the "tumor would benign" one.

Thanks for the laughs.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:50 PM  

OlDood: prize: a year of TotalFark.
2nd prize: 2 years of TotalFark


3rd prize: you're fired

/Do I have your attention now?
 
2013-01-04 02:22:24 PM  
Loved the algebra one, felt bad for a nanosecond about the "one year sober" one, then realized I didn't care.

Headlines are at least half the pun here.
 
2013-01-04 02:23:21 PM  
Wtg Farkers.
 
2013-01-04 02:26:13 PM  
Funny stuff.

I still maintain that the headline of the year should have been "Don Cornelius starts Black History month off with a bang"
But I seldom pick the winners in the photoshop contests either, so what do I know?
 
2013-01-04 02:26:37 PM  
Congrats to the winners this year.
 
2013-01-04 02:27:26 PM  
Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.
 
2013-01-04 02:28:52 PM  

Unfreakable:

It was a runaway favorite (so to speak)


you see that? right there? that's why your headlines never win anything.

Unfreakable: and the main argument in favor of the repeat tag for great headlines submitted late.


I'm warming up to it. I mostly appreciate the acknowledgement that the link is a repeat.
 
2013-01-04 02:29:25 PM  
Congratulations to all!
 
2013-01-04 02:31:41 PM  
When are there going to be pictures posted of the winners in their new cars?
 
2013-01-04 02:32:15 PM  
Yikes, there were many many funnier ones than those.

The entertainment one is just a ripoff of the NY Post from when Ike died, wtf.
 
2013-01-04 02:32:28 PM  
I was happy that a couple of mine were even favorites much less winners.
 
2013-01-04 02:35:50 PM  
Nicely done everyone.

You bastards.
 
2013-01-04 02:36:45 PM  

sure haven't: Yikes, there were many many funnier ones than those.

The entertainment one is just a ripoff of the NY Post from when Ike died, wtf.


Meh, the context favorite is a copy of the sports headline of the year from last year. People who vote don't always have all of the background information. They just vote for what they think is funniest.
 
2013-01-04 02:37:09 PM  
Good joerb, everybody!
 
2013-01-04 02:40:10 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.


I agree
 
2013-01-04 02:42:49 PM  

Ed Finnerty: When are there going to be pictures posted of the winners in their new cars?


i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-04 02:43:56 PM  
What happened to the one about Augusta introducing its 19th and 20th holes?
 
2013-01-04 02:44:32 PM  

dahmers love zombie: Excellent work, everyone.  This just makes me want to spend even more hours and hours and hours submitting headlines in the hopes that I will, one day, receive an Amazon gift card.

/off to scour the bowels of the internets looking for stuff


Yea, this has made me inspired to submit headlines again just to see if i can be funny.

/I can't be funny.
 
2013-01-04 02:44:34 PM  

Ed Finnerty: When are there going to be pictures posted of the winners in their new cars?


img.izismile.com
 
2013-01-04 02:44:58 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: I didn't win anything again so fark you all


Me either.  But these are worthy winners.  Great job everyone.  Even the runners up to the runners up.
 
2013-01-04 02:47:12 PM  

degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.


What was that headline?
 
2013-01-04 02:48:04 PM  
Congrats to the winners, and the losers. I'd say about 40% of the headlines make me at least chuckle, so voting on the winners had me LOLing for days.
 
2013-01-04 02:50:43 PM  
Next year you'll see my name splattered all over the winners....

either by submitting better headlines or via Photoshop.
 
2013-01-04 02:51:25 PM  
Even if you don't usually care about TF, if you like these headlines I'd strongly recommend getting a month of TF at the end of November so you can influence what gets through. Some great headlines didn't make the cut.
 
2013-01-04 02:52:18 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?


For you its free entry in the Alzheimers walk.
 
2013-01-04 02:54:40 PM  

too_amuzed: degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.

What was that headline?


I'm guessing that was the witness the firepower of a fully armed and operational manning or something of that effect. Possibly the best thread of the year.
 
2013-01-04 02:56:16 PM  
Congrats to the winners! Great job.
 
2013-01-04 02:59:21 PM  
Whitney Houston one was the best imo
 
2013-01-04 03:02:07 PM  

too_amuzed: degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.

What was that headline?


Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive

BTW, if you are worried about the whole "Stolen from the original thread." thing, here is the original
 
2013-01-04 03:11:52 PM  
should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out
 
2013-01-04 03:21:57 PM  

jimpapa: should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out


You know, that's not a bad idea...
 
2013-01-04 03:27:15 PM  

cousndick: Whitney Houston one was the best imo


And it was even better when the Daily News or some other NY Paper did it in 2007 when Ike Turner died.

That's the only one I will legitimately biatch about even being nominated.
 
2013-01-04 03:28:15 PM  
I remember feeling guilty for the ten minutes I spent laughing at the o_O headline. And guess, what, I just laughed again! Congrats,  shopball,even if it was runner-up.
 
2013-01-04 03:28:52 PM  

Unfreakable: Even if you don't usually care about TF, if you like these headlines I'd strongly recommend getting a month of TF at the end of November so you can influence what gets through. Some great headlines didn't make the cut.


THIS
 
2013-01-04 03:28:58 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Y U NO LINK TO THREADS?!?


From experience I have found that when you have an epic headline like any of the winners here there's little to actually say in the thread. The thinder has been stolen, driven over several state lines and shipped FedEx to the other hemisphere.
 
2013-01-04 03:30:21 PM  
OK, the new comment system is acting weird. Whenever I use italics, bold, etc, my spacebar input doesn't register. Has happened way too many times to blame the beer. The other comma typo is all on me.
 
2013-01-04 03:31:36 PM  

Skarekrough: B.L.Z. Bub: Y U NO LINK TO THREADS?!?

From experience I have found that when you have an epic headline like any of the winners here there's little to actually say in the thread. The thunder has been stolen, driven over several state lines and shipped FedEx to the other hemisphere.


This.
 
2013-01-04 03:32:46 PM  

dickfreckle: OK, the new comment system is acting weird. Whenever I use italics, bold, etc, my spacebar input doesn't register. Has happened way too many times to blame the beer. The other comma typo is all on me.


Send a Farkback here, use the dropdown that says, "Report a bug or error message"
 
2013-01-04 03:36:06 PM  

Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"


That one still makes me laugh.
 
2013-01-04 03:37:57 PM  

ITGreen: jimpapa: should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out

You know, that's not a bad idea...


Yes, we definitely need to have "the Lootie Invitational" thread.

/you know that's what it would become right?
 
2013-01-04 03:38:09 PM  

TrixieDelite: Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"

That one still makes me laugh.


You're right, that's gold.

/hadtothinkaboutit
 
2013-01-04 03:39:47 PM  

TrixieDelite: Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"

That one still makes me laugh.


And oh, dear god, the thread it spawned.
 
2013-01-04 03:41:31 PM  
HOTY is pretty good, but I think "Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death" is better.
 
2013-01-04 03:48:58 PM  

ITGreen: swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?

Some of them were, but there's no beating the "tumor would benign" one.

Thanks for the laughs.


This was HOTY for me ... it took me a moment to get it, but when I did .... I lost it. For my money, its way more clever and funnier than the overall winner.

All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.
 
2013-01-04 03:53:46 PM  
French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin

Bwhahahahahaha!!

/+1
 
2013-01-04 03:55:06 PM  

Unfreakable: dickfreckle: OK, the new comment system is acting weird. Whenever I use italics, bold, etc, my spacebar input doesn't register. Has happened way too many times to blame the beer. The other comma typo is all on me.

Send a Farkback here, use the dropdown that says, "Report a bug or error message"


Just did. And BTW, thanks for all the HOTY work! I'll be expecting my new keyboard from you any day now.
 
2013-01-04 03:57:11 PM  

sandbar67: All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.


My all-time fav was several years ago, but I still recall it vividly. If you're a sports fan you'll laugh: "Jets pound Hamas, earn spot in playoffs."

/has never figured out who subby was
 
2013-01-04 04:00:15 PM  
Huh.  Didn't even know ole Bill & his interns was a choice...  I shall cherish my TF as if it was my own.
 
2013-01-04 04:05:03 PM  
Dear winners & runner ups:
i483.photobucket.com
Congrats.
 
2013-01-04 04:05:48 PM  

dickfreckle: sandbar67: All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.

My all-time fav was several years ago, but I still recall it vividly. If you're a sports fan you'll laugh: "Jets pound Hamas, earn spot in playoffs."

/has never figured out who subby was


"Pilot still missing after plane crash. Well there's your problem." It's so simply brilliant, I don't think I can make anything as good. I think it got beat out by "gas blows out exit 69." but that has always been my favorite and it was back when I only lurked.
 
2013-01-04 04:15:18 PM  
Unfreakable:
You did a great job at putting this all together.  Thank you!
 
2013-01-04 04:20:53 PM  
o_O still kills me on clicking. My wife thought I'd had a stroke the morning I first hit that one.
 
2013-01-04 04:25:05 PM  

jimpapa: should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out


POTY?
 
2013-01-04 04:32:08 PM  
The Whitney Houston one is just recycled from one with the exact same wording for Tina Turner/Ike Turner several years ago.
 
2013-01-04 05:06:38 PM  

Arkanaut: Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz



Yes. Yes we are.
 
2013-01-04 05:25:07 PM  
That tumor one, man that's good stuff.
 
2013-01-04 05:34:40 PM  
Wow. I hadn't been checking the subtab voting. Thanks for the contest and votes!
 
2013-01-04 05:44:45 PM  
Thanks for the laughs, subbies. I have to add my admiration for o_O, but they were all really well done.
 
2013-01-04 05:50:34 PM  
I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.
 
2013-01-04 05:54:05 PM  

Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"


THIS THIS THIS
 
2013-01-04 06:02:45 PM  

Arkanaut: ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz.


we are bad people and should feel bad.
 
2013-01-04 06:11:55 PM  
Really? That's the HOTY? The big winner? The best of the best? Better than all the rest? That one? Ok.
 
2013-01-04 06:16:40 PM  

jigger: Really? That's the HOTY? The big winner? The best of the best? Better than all the rest? That one? Ok.


Those are the ones that got the most votes. "Best" is a highly subjective term.
 
2013-01-04 06:17:19 PM  
Well done all around. Stephen Hawking and Whitney Houston will keep me laughing for some time.
 
2013-01-04 06:19:25 PM  
Should I be embarrassed I commented in more than one of these threads?

Nah, just bare-assed, no?

*)

P.S. Congratulations winners. You rocked.
 
2013-01-04 06:25:38 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.


serial arseonist: CapeFearCadaver: The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.

I agree


dickfreckle: I remember feeling guilty for the ten minutes I spent laughing at the o_O headline. And guess, what, I just laughed again! Congrats,  shopball,even if it was runner-up.


tj614zu: o_O still kills me on clicking. My wife thought I'd had a stroke the morning I first hit that one.


911Jenny: I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.


Thank you, everyone who voted for me.  Thank you, even if you didn't vote for me and just laughed...
 
2013-01-04 06:35:14 PM  

sandbar67: ITGreen: swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?

Some of them were, but there's no beating the "tumor would benign" one.

Thanks for the laughs.

This was HOTY for me ... it took me a moment to get it, but when I did .... I lost it. For my money, its way more clever and funnier than the overall winner.

All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.


Mine too! To this day, when I try to explain fark to someone unfamiliar with it, I mention that story and headline.

I also still vividly remember the morning I woke up and saw that headline. I had a giggle fit that just would not stop. My wife asked me what was funny, and it just got worse.
 
2013-01-04 06:42:05 PM  
GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill


I was standing in a middle of a Bank when I read this headline, I LOL, and several people looked at me.

This should have been the overall winner!
 
2013-01-04 06:44:21 PM  
That Whitney Houston Headline was stolen from the Post when Ike Turner died.

Ike Turner beats Tina to death.
 
2013-01-04 06:47:26 PM  
Thanks to Unfreakable for all the time and work in putting this together for the past few years. I know it's a labor of love for you but we do appreciate it. Also to all of the winners and runners up - Good work again this year. One of these days I'll join the list.

/Needs to be funnier.
//Also needs to have a link approved.
 
2013-01-04 06:48:57 PM  
2012: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
(submitter: justajonesin)

2011: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down (submitter: Sybarite )

2010: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline
(submitter: crimsin23 )

2009: Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt

2008: Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY

2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

2006: Floodwaters send sharks inland. So beware of... hang on a sec, there's someone at the door

2005: Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross
(submitter: awkward saw)
 
2013-01-04 06:49:19 PM  

Unfreakable: - For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card
- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card
- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.


Is this retroactive to 2007? :)
 
2013-01-04 06:50:46 PM  

911Jenny: I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.


I finally found you! Wanted to thank for that favor you did, but Fark's search kind of sucks and you have no EIP.

Anyway, thanks a ton. I may be hospitalized for a week (nothing OH NOES-worthy), but I will be back.
 
2013-01-04 06:52:19 PM  
That 2006 lineline is EPIC!
 
2013-01-04 06:53:00 PM  

Podmore: sandbar67:

Mine too! To this day, when I try to explain fark to someone unfamiliar with it, I mention that story and headline.

I also still vividly remember the morning I woke up and saw that headline. I had a giggle fit that just would not stop. My wife asked me what was funny, and it just got worse.


I had a giggle fit the whole day, interrupted by bouts of shame and guilt.
/Subby
 
2013-01-04 06:53:07 PM  
that 2006 headline is EPIC!
 
2013-01-04 06:57:30 PM  

Jclark666: Is this retroactive to 2007? :)


Sadly, no. I talked Drew into it last year for the first time.
 
2013-01-04 06:59:18 PM  
I thought there were much funnier ones than this, but congrats to the winners.
 
2013-01-04 07:05:10 PM  
"Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death" will always be my #1 for 2012. Glad it won something.
 
2013-01-04 07:08:09 PM  
Honestly, I'm just proud that one of mine even made it to the finals:

Tomorrow's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the President will be there, too

Seriously though, big congrats to the winners and runners-up.  Awesome work!
 
2013-01-04 07:14:55 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Honestly, I'm just proud that one of mine even made it to the finals:

Tomorrow's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the President will be there, too

Seriously though, big congrats to the winners and runners-up.  Awesome work!


That one was a beauty.
 
2013-01-04 07:26:08 PM  
Holy crap...I won one? There's hope for you yet, Browns fans.

Thanks to everybody who +1'd me!
 
2013-01-04 07:31:49 PM  

Jclark666: Podmore: sandbar67:

Mine too! To this day, when I try to explain fark to someone unfamiliar with it, I mention that story and headline.

I also still vividly remember the morning I woke up and saw that headline. I had a giggle fit that just would not stop. My wife asked me what was funny, and it just got worse.

I had a giggle fit the whole day, interrupted by bouts of shame and guilt.
/Subby


Oh, neat! I now have you favorited with "Submitted tender heart." My wife is my only other favorite, so feel honored.
 
2013-01-04 07:36:00 PM  

Unfreakable: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Honestly, I'm just proud that one of mine even made it to the finals:

Tomorrow's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the President will be there, too

Seriously though, big congrats to the winners and runners-up.  Awesome work!

That one was a beauty.


Personally, What I felt were my best headlines didn't make the cut, and the off the wall ones I'd throw out there for the hell of it were the ones that made it to some level of the voting process.
 
2013-01-04 07:36:20 PM  

Stinkyy: 2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear



And it was a very tasty heart at that.
 
2013-01-04 07:43:17 PM  
Seriously, I haven't been this chuffed about Fark since I innocently started the legendary October 2009 slow-news-day-in-Greenport thread.

Can we do a thread-of-the-year section next year?
 
2013-01-04 07:43:21 PM  

sleepingbear: Stinkyy: 2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

And it was a very tasty heart at that.


To bear
 
2013-01-04 07:46:00 PM  

Gulper Eel: Seriously, I haven't been this chuffed about Fark since I innocently started the legendary October 2009 slow-news-day-in-Greenport thread.

Can we do a thread-of-the-year section next year?


Thread of the year?

Hell, if we'd had that for the past year, I'd have to nominate the Clown Car drops transmission thread. That was a beautiful trainwreck.
 
2013-01-04 08:21:18 PM  
Congrats to all the winners and thanks to all submitters for the laughs.
 
2013-01-04 08:41:07 PM  
o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?
 
2013-01-04 08:42:31 PM  
Favorite from the Politics tab:

"Meghan McCain blasts Santorum. Well, I guess we all know now what she was doing earlier"
 
2013-01-04 08:56:04 PM  

scruffynerfherder: o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?


http://www.fark.com/comments/7234934/o_O#


/I would also like to thank everyone who originally voted this headline up the link voting page.  This started out as a redlit headline.
 
2013-01-04 09:06:45 PM  
I had to click it to find out why "o_O" was so funny because it had been so long, and I laughed as heartily as I had the first time around. Simple elegance. And I also think that the Clown Car thread/headline should have gotten more love, but I didn't have TF at the time of voting and no access to Fark for most of the mainpage voting, so I've no idea if it was even in the running. :-\

/applause for the winners, big thanks for those who put this together
//would love to see "epic threads" and "photoshop contests" next year
///would be wayyyyy too much work for the mods, though
 
2013-01-04 09:09:40 PM  
The o_O headline was great. Woke up the dogs from laughing so hard.
 
2013-01-04 10:30:51 PM  

shopball: scruffynerfherder: o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?

http://www.fark.com/comments/7234934/o_O#


/I would also like to thank everyone who originally voted this headline up the link voting page.  This started out as a redlit headline.


I was rooting for it to win the Context Headline contest, but runner-up isn't too shabby. :-)
 
2013-01-04 10:35:11 PM  
Good show, subbies, all around!  Bravo!
 
2013-01-04 10:52:10 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: shopball: scruffynerfherder: o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?

http://www.fark.com/comments/7234934/o_O#


/I would also like to thank everyone who originally voted this headline up the link voting page.  This started out as a redlit headline.

I was rooting for it to win the Context Headline contest, but runner-up isn't too shabby. :-)


I'll take runner up, again... Just means I need to try harder next year.

/Thanks again for the help on the original post...
 
2013-01-04 11:22:38 PM  

shopball: Bathia_Mapes: shopball: scruffynerfherder: o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?

http://www.fark.com/comments/7234934/o_O#


/I would also like to thank everyone who originally voted this headline up the link voting page.  This started out as a redlit headline.

I was rooting for it to win the Context Headline contest, but runner-up isn't too shabby. :-)

I'll take runner up, again... Just means I need to try harder next year.

/Thanks again for the help on the original post...


It was my pleasure.
 
2013-01-05 03:00:06 AM  

dickfreckle: 911Jenny: I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.

I finally found you! Wanted to thank for that favor you did, but Fark's search kind of sucks and you have no EIP.

Anyway, thanks a ton. I may be hospitalized for a week (nothing OH NOES-worthy), but I will be back.


You're welcome and I hope the hospital goes well and quickly!
 
2013-01-05 07:36:46 AM  

tj614zu: o_O


When that was originally submitted, I was at work and clicked. Farking couldn't contain myself for a good 5 minutes.

I'm a child. I know.
 
2013-01-05 08:38:55 AM  

Unfreakable: I was sort of bummed when I saw that phlegmmo had two early runners up and was worried he'd turn into our own version of 0-4 Super Bowl-losing Buffalo Bills, but he got the win with his context headline of the year.

Good work, everybody.


phlegmmo does great headlines :O)
 
2013-01-05 11:05:45 AM  

Third In Line: Unfreakable: I was sort of bummed when I saw that phlegmmo had two early runners up and was worried he'd turn into our own version of 0-4 Super Bowl-losing Buffalo Bills, but he got the win with his context headline of the year.

Good work, everybody.

phlegmmo does great headlines :O)


*blush*

Good to see you again, T.I.L.  Missed you fiercely.
 
2013-01-05 11:15:26 AM  
Congratulations to all of you keyboard Kings/Queens
 
2013-01-05 12:26:22 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Gulper Eel: Seriously, I haven't been this chuffed about Fark since I innocently started the legendary October 2009 slow-news-day-in-Greenport thread.

Can we do a thread-of-the-year section next year?

Thread of the year?

Hell, if we'd had that for the past year, I'd have to nominate the Clown Car drops transmission thread. That was a beautiful trainwreck.


Oh hell no, the Peyton Manning thread was tops at least in Sports. That was eleventy levels of awesome.
 
2013-01-05 12:31:09 PM  

Rwa2play: Thread of the year?

Hell, if we'd had that for the past year, I'd have to nominate the Clown Car drops transmission thread. That was a beautiful trainwreck.

Oh hell no, the Peyton Manning thread was tops at least in Sports. That was eleventy levels of awesome.


Emmanuelle in Heaven was spectacular
 
2013-01-05 12:31:33 PM  
Congrats to all!

Here's my funniest from last year IMHO: Smoking hot 23-year-old model propelled into the spotlight

/more sad than funny, I guess.
 
2013-01-05 12:35:18 PM  
No "DIck In A Box?"
 
2013-01-05 12:41:32 PM  
I've been lucky enough to have a couple in the running in the last few years, try harder next time. Congrats winners!!
 
2013-01-05 12:50:35 PM  

Rwa2play: FirstNationalBastard: Gulper Eel: Seriously, I haven't been this chuffed about Fark since I innocently started the legendary October 2009 slow-news-day-in-Greenport thread.

Can we do a thread-of-the-year section next year?

Thread of the year?

Hell, if we'd had that for the past year, I'd have to nominate the Clown Car drops transmission thread. That was a beautiful trainwreck.

Oh hell no, the Peyton Manning thread was tops at least in Sports. That was eleventy levels of awesome.


I take a perverse joy in the fact that the quote that became the headline was birthed in one of my Broncos Pony game threads.
 
2013-01-05 12:58:02 PM  

Sim Tree: I didn't want to mention it during the voting, but I appreciated the in-thread compliments for "Printer ink tanker truck overturns. Damages estimated at seven hundred trillion dollars."


As someone who recently bought HP ink, I'm still chuckling at that one...
 
2013-01-05 01:08:36 PM  

gwenners: No "DIck In A Box?"


It was in the Context Headline of the Year finalists, but it couldn't pull it out.
 
2013-01-05 01:17:03 PM  

Misch: gwenners: No "DIck In A Box?"

It was in the Context Headline of the Year finalists, but it couldn't pull it out.


Well played
 
2013-01-05 01:28:53 PM  
Guess I should spend more time in the Business thread. Both those headlines had me LMAO. And the Jets one, even though I'm not a sports person.
 
2013-01-05 01:42:32 PM  
So... the way to find out who submitted a headline is to campaign to make it a HOTY.
 
2013-01-05 01:55:12 PM  
We will go west to the Huron of the Lakes! This is not the voice of wisdom. You are women! Slaves! Dogs! I spit on you!
 
2013-01-05 01:57:22 PM  
Hey, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the Whitney Houston is A TOTAL RIPOFF of a similar headline from when Ike Turner died.
 
2013-01-05 02:19:45 PM  

Staffist: Unfreakable:
You did a great job at putting this all together.  Thank you!


A thousand times, this.
 
2013-01-05 02:26:04 PM  

WhoIsWillo: Wow. Thanks for everyone who voted, and everyone who submitted. I love this site, and I thank everyone on here. Even you grumpy bastards.


You're welcome.
 
2013-01-05 02:36:22 PM  

tj614zu: o_O still kills me on clicking. My wife thought I'd had a stroke the morning I first hit that one.


Oh, man...I can see why!
 
2013-01-05 02:36:38 PM  
Runner up is just the first loser.

/oblig
 
2013-01-05 02:37:38 PM  

tonguedepressor: Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?

For you its free entry in the Alzheimers walk.


LOL
 
2013-01-05 03:21:17 PM  
Congrats guys
 
2013-01-05 03:23:29 PM  

23FPB23: Hey, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the Whitney Houston is A TOTAL RIPOFF of a similar headline from when Ike Turner died.


And the Religious zealot set to take down Jets in New York City is a rip off of last year's Sports HOTY
 
2013-01-05 03:41:44 PM  
The headline votey threads are my favorite.
 
2013-01-05 04:19:21 PM  
Congrats to everyone. The tumor one and whitmey houston one were my favs.
 
2013-01-05 04:30:30 PM  
Congratulations all, great headlines! Thanks unfreakable for putting it all together.
 
2013-01-05 04:53:46 PM  
Farker tries to win headline of the year contest, succeeds
 
2013-01-05 06:22:06 PM  
Runner-up: o_O
(submitter: shopball )


everyone said this was hilarious. So I click the article.......and only the text and headline show up (graphic still loading)........and I'm like...."this headline isn't funny. I guess I don't get it." .....then a few seconds more go by, and finally the mugshot pops up in the article......HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2013-01-05 06:35:44 PM  

degenerate-afro: too_amuzed: degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.

What was that headline?

Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive

BTW, if you are worried about the whole "Stolen from the original thread." thing, here is the original


Ah, what a wonderful headline; what a wonderful thread.


Maybe it should have gone to the geek tab as well? (i don't think it did)
Not everyone over there is, 'Well, there are some foots, and perchance a balls?'


/fantasy football still counts as fantasy!
//obscure?
///no, not really. Just never posted an 'obscure' before. Felt right.
 
2013-01-05 06:36:42 PM  

phenn: tj614zu: o_O

When that was originally submitted, I was at work and clicked. Farking couldn't contain myself for a good 5 minutes.

I'm a child. I know.


Yoooooou are not alooooone...
 
2013-01-05 09:12:24 PM  

dahmers love zombie: Excellent work, everyone.  This just makes me want to spend even more hours and hours and hours submitting headlines in the hopes that I will, one day, receive an Amazon gift card.

/off to scour the bowels of the internets looking for stuff


I won the Geek tab last year, and the funny thing was the winning headline was submitted a few months after I slowed way down on the number of headlines I was submitting.
 
2013-01-06 02:03:55 AM  

DarkHealer: Favorite from the Politics tab:

"Meghan McCain blasts Santorum. Well, I guess we all know now what she was doing earlier"


Thanks for the mention.
 
2013-01-06 04:59:59 AM  
I blew my wad way too early with this whole Fark thing. I haven't submitted anything since something like 2006.

Goddamn gift cards.
 
2013-01-06 11:43:10 AM  

Soupysales: I blew my wad way too early with this whole Fark thing. I haven't submitted anything since something like 2006.

Goddamn gift cards.


It's time for a comeback
 
2013-01-07 04:15:46 PM  

Angry Buddha: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death. I was bummed to see this win since it's blatantly plagiarized. The "Ike beats Tina to death" headline from 2007 also made a hell of a lot more sense.


FirstNationalBastard: cousndick: Whitney Houston one was the best imo

And it was even better when the Daily News or some other NY Paper did it in 2007 when Ike Turner died.

That's the only one I will legitimately biatch about even being nominated.


Tonto's Expanding Headband: The Whitney Houston one is just recycled from one with the exact same wording for Tina Turner/Ike Turner several years ago.


EnderX: That Whitney Houston Headline was stolen from the Post when Ike Turner died.

Ike Turner beats Tina to death.


23FPB23: Hey, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the Whitney Houston is A TOTAL RIPOFF of a similar headline from when Ike Turner died.


just wait until next year when, "Oates bites Hall in the face. Watch out boy, he'll chew you up" gets nominated and upvoted.

subby's headline was a rip-off of the original journalist who 'broke' that story and wrote a similar headline. as a matter of fact, that story went green the previous night with the submitted headline, "He can't go for that. No can do ". it had about 6 or 7 link votes, then it went red.

then the next day, after more news sources picked it up, and after it popped up all over Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit, it was submitted and greened and everybody lined up to praise subby.

so that subby deserves recognition for timing. that's it. timing. not originality, not creativity, not finding a story and writing a clever headline.

timing.
rip-off, copy-cat headlines should not be eligible.
 
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