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Headline of the Year preliminaries starting on Totalfark this week, and here are some other Headlines of the Week for 11/11 - 11/17
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-11-23 7:54:59 PM (10 comments) | Permalink
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1551 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2012 at 7:56 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



This one's crazy late. We got started on Headline of the Year preliminary threads Tuesday but a project on Wednesday and Thanksgiving yesterday sort of dented the progress I had started. For those of you who have TF, the two threads are here:

December 2011:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7444133

January 2012:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7444462

In the meantime, here are the ones from this week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-11-11 to Sat 2012-11-17:

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  After Hurricane Sandy, Nestle donates hundreds of Hot Pockets to Newark residents. First water, then fire, now lava - they can't catch a break    
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  Woman attacked outside church by man with dark hair, full beard. He appeared cross    
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  Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters    
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  Vegetative patient clinically shown to be conscious after 12 years, has limited communication, given job greenlighting Fark links    
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  The Israeli Defense Forces have just declared war over Twitter, UN to respond with Instagram'ed angry letter and Arab league via "Thing we dislike about Israel" Pinterest board    
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  Diamond formerly belonging to Austro-Hungarian archduke sells for $21.5 million at auction, shortly thereafter, it was fatally stabbed by a radical Serbian brooch    
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  Exotic dancer accused of human smuggling. Her really lumpy thong was a dead giveaway  

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  Turkey recognizes new Syrian rebel group as the legitimate leader of Syria. US recognizes Turkey is delicious with stuffing and cranberry relish    
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  Suspected murderer John McAfee asks around the internet if anyone knows of a cell phone that can't be tracked. Expected to soon tweet his complaints about how expensive lye is    
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  New report warns that terrorists could black out an entire section of the U.S. by attacking our power grid. Or, they could just wait for the next moderate rain storm    
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  U.S. Secret Service agents freak out when they mistake relatively benign water monitors for carnivorous komodo dragons... then later they all have a laugh about it over some drinks and prostitutes    
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Sports:

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  Conspiracy theorist claims that the Minnesota Timberwolves are hoarding white players to boost ticket sales. Protecting the stadium's baskets from wear and tear from slam dunks is just a lucky bonus    
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  Study concludes soccer players may get long-term brain damage, just from heading the ball -- affording them yet another chance to flop on the ground and feign injury    
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  Former Chicago Bears Coach Mike Ditka suffered a minor stroke, finished his pork chop    
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Geek:

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  Scientists have successfully cloaked an object perfectly for the first time. Nothing to see here, move along    
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  Yearly birth rates continue to fall, although vasectomies are no longer responsible for the vas deferens    
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  The lightest metal on Earth. No, I'm not talking about Metallica  


Entertainment:

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  Creedence Clearwater Revival member John Fogerty's new book will detail his unique songwriting ability, career as a rock star, early success as the model for Dutch Boy Paints    
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  John Mellencamp and Stephen King finish work on their collaboration project: A musical. It is expected to be a catchy hodgepodge of Americana with an unsatisfying ending    
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  Taylor Swift begins writing a love advice column for Seventeen Magazine. Look for it on the same page with Charles Barkley's golf tips    
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Politics:

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  Hurricane Sandy forces unexpected New Jersey tax hikes. Governor Christie promptly moves to have Sandy officially registered as a Democrat    
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  Pulitzer Prize winners Doris Kearns Goodwin and Tony Kushner say that Abraham Lincoln would be a Democrat today. We've recently reached Lincoln for comment: "...,"    
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  Officials in Ecuador ban donkey from participating in council elections -- as opposed to the United States, where it's considered vital to have representatives from both parties    
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Business:

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  Apple announces resolution of dispute with HTC, cross-licensing of patents, and unlimited clean energy for its offices generated by Steve Jobs spinning in his grave    
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  McAfee releases third quarter threats report, forgets to list their founder    
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  Airlines paint mustaches on planes to support Movember, invite the public to take mile-high mustache rides    
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· · ·

10 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2012-11-23 08:22:41 PM  
To headline
 
2012-11-23 08:25:01 PM  
What do I win?
 
2012-11-23 08:28:13 PM  

Silly Jesus: What do I win?


Nothing.
 
2012-11-23 08:50:58 PM  

Indubitably: To headline


Is there a grammar error I'm missing?
 
2012-11-23 09:18:33 PM  
Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters

If that movie wins an Oscar, this headline MUST get a HOTY.
 
2012-11-23 09:23:41 PM  
/rushes off to copyright "HOTY"
 
2012-11-23 09:35:19 PM  
Since a good chunk of greenlights are now simply cut-and-paste from the linked articles, the candidates are pretty slim this year.
 
2012-11-23 10:05:35 PM  
Denied yet again.
 
2012-11-24 02:52:05 PM  
Pretty sub-par round.
 
2012-11-24 03:05:24 PM  

D-Liver: Pretty sub-par round.


Thanks....and I was feeling good aboot myself for making the cut with Ditka
 
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