FARK.com: Blog (Unfreakable): Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-04-29 to Sat 2012-05-05

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-04-29 to Sat 2012-05-05
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-05-15 12:34:32 PM (3 comments) | Permalink

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Nothing to add, this should have been from last week. Thought it was, don't know what happened.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-04-29 to Sat 2012-05-05:

Documents recovered from the raid that killed Osama bin Laden show he wanted to rename Al Qaeda to something less identified with "failure after failure". Unfortunately for him, "Congress" was already taken

Girlfriend jailed in "adult entertainment" beating, demonstrating Hell hath no fury like a woman porned

'Iceman' mummy holds world's oldest blood cells, which experts predict will lead to either a Michael Crichton book or a Pauly Shore movie

Cop steals from car at Disney World, will be sentenced to five hours on "It's a Small World"

City claims sniper rifles are a traffic safety device. Note to self: don't speed through League City, Texas

Syria peace plan is on track, says UN spokesunicorn

South African cat survives two hour washing machine cycle, becomes Johannesburg's cleanest pussy

♫ Soft cheetah, tame cheetah, little puff of fur. Happy tourist, angry cheetah, maul, maul, maul

Woman arrested for putting camping fuel in her grandmother's milk. That's Cole, man

Woman with oxygen tank smokes one way, then another

Power company fined $180,000 for faulty work on houses where residents suffered electric shocks. There's no place like ohm

Sports:

Semin trickles down to fourth line after two visits inside the box

What's the difference between Albert Pujols and a company worth $240 million? The company would have a HR

Tiger Woods says he doesn't use condos anymore. No, that's not a typo

Geek:

Boy pees on $36,000 worth of Macbooks, ruining both of them

New noninvasive paternity test can now identify the father of the baby as early as the eighth week--or in NBA terms, a quarter of the season

Article asks: "How seriously should we take the growing church of Jediism?" Is this a trick question?

Entertainment:

And now, a review of a movie that revolves entirely around penises for 75 minutes. No, not Top Gun, that one ran for 110 minutes

Angelina Jolie hates her engagement ring. What do you know, so does Jennifer Aniston

MCA can finally sleep, having arrived in Brooklyn

Politics:

Chris Christie could be persuaded to run as VP, but is more likely to walk fast or jog slowly

Now that Romney's effectively the nominee, Mormons brace for attacks on their religion during the campaign. But this is America and surely no campaign would ever stoop that low, Wright?

National Christmas tree in DC dies. Sources say this was the only working branch of government at the time. Tag is for the tree trunk

Business:

Thai workers: "We need a 300-baht minimum daily wage next year." Thai official: "What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn baht man"

Herbalife: "If the market doesn't like our shares, we'll buy our own shares and have hookers and blackjack. You know what, FORGET THE SHARE BUYING"

David Koch contributes $35 million to Smithsonian National Museum for new dinosaur hall. Most money now given by the Koch family for a dinosaur since they donated to the McCain campaign

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3 Comments (+0 »)

spidermann		2012-05-15 07:20:23 PM

yay, I returned to HotW!

imprimere		2012-05-15 11:12:01 PM

So, is it that no Farkers read these (as I don't) or just that no one comments on the HotW?

spidermann		2012-05-16 02:07:27 AM

imprimere: So, is it that no Farkers read these (as I don't) or just that no one comments on the HotW?

usually there are comments but this one was a bit late.

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