North American predator loss leaves Aliens unchecked, Santorum pulls out, and Best Buy CEO bones something other than his company: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/8 - 4/14
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-04-16 6:29:18 PM (8 comments) | Permalink
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Hey everybody, just dropping some of last week's best headlines on you to finish out your Monday afternoon. Enjoy.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-04-08 to Sat 2012-04-14:
British child finds hand grenade during Easter egg hunt. Everyone runs when he says, "And first, thou shalt take out the holy pin"
Lawrence Cobbold has filled every room in his three-bedroom house with a 21,600-strong collection of bird ornaments. Why yes ladies, he is single
7th Grader saves bus from crash after driver has heart attack. School to suspend him for driving without a license
Man who walked 3,100 miles across Australia while wearing a full stormtrooper costume raised over $100,000 for the Starlight Children's Foundation, still hasn't found those damn droids
Man changes Facebook relationship status to "Single", disgruntled girlfriend changes his automobile status to "Embedded in bowling alley"
Louis Farrakhan says "Jesus was a black man." Well, Jesus liked Gospel, called everyone "brother" and couldn't get a fair trial, so it may be true
20 signs you might be a sex addict. 1: You are currently in someone
Old fruit is better for you says study, Ian McKellen
Newark Mayor downgrades neighbor's condition from "burn victim" to "alive and still in Newark"
The peacekeeper slowly entered, surprising the illegal gambling party. He knew these men were among the rich and powerful, but the tin shield on his chest proclaimed justice for all. Then one of the gamblers, in desperation, pulled a gun
Naked Vermont governor narrowly outruns four large bears. Now that's a man's man
Former fiance of Petrino's mistress gets first class ticket out of Fayetteville, but she will only ride coach
Apparently running on the field in Batman underwear and a cape is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT
Additions to Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, NE will increase capacity to hold over 90,000 people, or 45,000 Nebraskans
Touchscreen pay phones are coming to NYC, which still doesn't solve the problem of having to actually touch them
North American predator loss affects ecosystems, leaves Aliens totally unchecked
Scientists try to find out if Scotch whiskey can mature in zero gravity, as the space program finally gets serious about an eight-month flight to Mars
Ronnie Wood says The Rolling Stones will begin recording new material this month, assuming they can remember where the studio is
Axl Rose declines to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, eat Lean Cuisine
Morgan Freeman denies rumors he is marrying step-granddaughter. Claiming "reports of any pending marriage or romantic relationship to anyone are defamatory fabrications from the tabloid media designed to sell papers. Titty sprinkles"
Thomas Jefferson created his own 'cut and paste' version of the Bible by removing what he felt couldn't be substantiated. The two page document is currently on display at the Smithsonian's Museum of American History
Santorum to pull out. Gross
Obama celebrates the sixth anniversary of Romneycare. Romney calls in sick with a bad case of the flip-floppy
Facebook pays $1 billion for a company that produces a free app that can make pictures from your $500 phone look like they were taken with a $10 camera
Former Best Buy CEO Brian Dunn may have resigned for boning something other than his company
Purple produce purveyors petulantly proclaim premature primavera preemptively prevented personal prosperity, postponing packaged product premiere, prompting product pusillanimity
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