Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-02-26 to Sat 2012-03-03
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-03-11 7:31:48 PM (0 comments) | Permalink
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Nothing for this week, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-02-26 to Sat 2012-03-03:
Doctors perform quadruple limb transplant in Turkey. Now everyone gets a drumstick
Tennessee nightclub shooting leaves 1 dead, 19 injured, everyone else shaking their heads at the sad state of pistol marksmanship in this country
Russian TV reporting assassination plot against Putin foiled after the gunman failed to reach the needle inside the egg inside the duck inside the hare, buried in the iron chest under the green oak tree
Man in Denmark buying $26,000 in supplies from Germany for his Cognac shop has money seized by U.S. under PATRIOT Act. Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar if it's from Cuba
Police in Alberta looking for rustlers. Cut throats, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, con men, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, bull dykes, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists disheartened
Stephen Hawking-sex-club story sort-of confirmed by Cambridge University; also, Hawking's a fan of Stringfellow's in London. No quantum chromodynamics in the champagne room
Long-delayed Acme park on the verge of approval. Attractions include: The Rocket Sled, The Catapult, The Anvil Drop and Exploding Tennis
Er, Htwe, Doh, Eh and Htoo involved in a fatal car accident, leaving investigators scrabbling to find missing tiles
Man calls 911 to report being invisible, has prior arrest for failure to appear
The Syrian army is moving in Baba Amr, fighting for what's real... turning it into a real teenage wasteland
"Netanyahu is expected to publicly harden his line against Iran during a meeting with Barack Obama." ( •_•)⌐■-■ Well, that might stiffen into into a.... (⌐■_■) sticky situation
Red Sox ban beer in clubhouse. 1986 World Series loss now blamed on bad hops
NCAA issues warning to the Sioux. Threatens to send 7th Cavalry
NFL confirms that Saints ran bounty program in an attempt to injure opposing players. Bounty on Vernon Davis went uncollected
Relatives of a Titanic surgeon demand that the final letter he wrote from the ship be returned to them, along with any nude Kate Winslet drawings
Nokia releases new Symbian smart phone with 41 megapixel camera. That vibrate mode must sure be something
Porcupines becoming a rare sight in California, despite the overall number of pricks in the state steadily increasing
Adam Sandler receives a record 11 Razzie nominations. In other news, from now on Sandler threads will appear under the Geek tab, as his movies don't qualify as entertainment
Martina Navratilova to join celebrity cast of DWTS, immediately begins practice to avoid foot faults
When you're rowing your cockboat through a sea of fine ass, you don't care if people think you're gay
Congressman apologizes for his "joke" about gunning down a few Senators to break the gridlock in Washington. Besides, Robert's Rules of Order specifically forbids murder of a legislator without a proper Motion to Recommit
Michael Steele tells reporters the Republican primary is "going exactly as planned." Then he adjusted his monocle, stroked his white cat, and went back to studying his volcano map
Obama says he's proven "Democrats are not weak on defense" though he admits they do have some concerns in the secondary that they hope to address either in the draft or the free agent market
Brooklyn hipster biatches to NYC DEP about 64-year-old local deli because it smells too much like real roasted coffee and not enough like fair-trade double-roasted artisanally cuddled beans
Netflix CEO says the service will become more and more like a cable channel. They've already gotten off to a great start by alienating most of their customers
Apple is now worth more than Poland, at least three Rhode Islands
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