Gun accident leaves pastor's daughter holier than thou, LHC goes to ludicrous speed, and a bison as a best man, Tatonka very much: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 2/12 - 2/18
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-02-21 10:01:45 PM (9 comments) | Permalink
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Not too much to discuss with the Headline of the Year contest this early in 2012, so here are a few of our favorites from last week.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-02-12 to Sat 2012-02-18:
Arab League wants peacekeepers in Syria. D'Argo and Chiana still think it's a bad idea
Chocolate cake for breakfast is okay say scientists, Cosby
Gun accident in Florida church leaves pastor's daughter holier than thou
Florida man ran into his ex-girlfriend yesterday. Then he backed up and ran into her again. He misses her sometimes
Coke and Pepsi may be arming for another cola war. I remember the first cola war, son. I saw things you wouldn't believe. Delivery trucks on fire off the shoulder the road. Crystal soda glittering in the Safeway dark. Time to die
Zoo keeper enters pen to feed the lions, succeeds
Man pays £21m for Bacon nude, is promptly thrown out of IHOP
Man arrested on 144 counts of child porn. Gross
The US Postal Service wants to raise the price of stamps to 50 cents so they can pay for all the extra buggy whips needed for speedy mail delivery
Italian police arrest counterfeiters carrying $6 TRILLION in fake US Bonds; remind people that creating absurd sums of money out of thin air is the government's job
Rancher chooses pet buffalo to be best man at renewal of his wedding vows. "Tatonka. Tatonka very much"
Team of naked female rowers break Atlantic record. Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke
Gary Edmund Carter. "Kid." Expos 1974-84, 1992; Mets 1985-89; Giants 1990; Dodgers 1991; Angels 2012
Red Sox star pitcher Tim Wakefield finally knuckles under the pressure to retire
CERN announces they're turning up the LHC to eleven; have plans to then go to ludicrous speed, and eventually go plaid
NASA budget slashes Mars funding, leaving future exploration prospects up to a duck with a speech impediment and a predilection for high-powered weaponry
Astronomers identify first 'middleweight' black hole by detecting the Sugar Rays it emits
Whitney Houston's final movie to be released early. She had a lot of good lines
Whitney Houston's death may be third biggest thing to fall into Dolly Parton's lap
Michael Bay confirms he's on board for directing Transformers 4 for a June 2014 release date, says there is no cast or story yet, but that's never stopped him before
Rick Santorum, emphasizing the importance of two-parent families in ecomonic recovery, says strong families will help the poor get back on their feet; critics say it will cost too much to provide every single mom with a new dad
NH lawmaker pushes abstinence for married couples. As if that's necessary
Despite being slathered in parsley butter and accompanied by a bloomin' onion, New Jersey marriage equality bill is still vetoed by Governor Chris Christie
Retirement may require less income than you think, so you can spend more time thinking about how you're going to decorate your refrigerator box
New stretched Boeing 787 will carry either 320 Americans or 640 Europeans
Gore and Blood compare greenhouse gas emissions to subprime debt, vow to annihilate Demolition for the WWF tag team belts
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