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Zombie injuries not life threatening, seamen leaving ferries in Greek ports, and an explanation of Herman Cain's pro-llama agenda: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/9 - 10/15 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-10-18 4:42:53 PM (4 comments) | Permalink

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2131 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2011 at 4:57 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Not too much to update this week; going to be trying to be caught up through October for Mainpage headlines by the end of this month, and I'm trying to also get the subtab stuff taken care of, too. I'll probably be into those in November trying to get things sorted out.

In the meantime, here are some headlines for y'all. Cheers

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-10-09 to Sat 2011-10-15:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man dies when he falls off yacht and is chopped up by propellers. Those who knew him said he made a fine chum    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Expert suggests elbowing people instead of shaking hands, to prevent spreading flu. Noted etiquette expert Wayne Gretzky agrees    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Sixteen zombies hurt after platform collapse. Authories say injuries are not life-threatening    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Five paintings, stolen by thief named "Spiderman" and worth $135 million, including works by Picasso, Matisse and Modigliano, may have been accidentally destroyed by Garbage Man, Garbage Man, who crushed the art in a garbage can    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Japanese company will make a hyper-realistic 3-D mask of your face, accurate down to the individual pores and eye vasculature for a mere 4-6k. You know, in case you wanted to go out as a rich, creepy, narcissist this Halloween    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  404,000 error: Jobs not found    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Climate change may destroy the world's coffee supply. It may not seem like a big deal now, but sooner or later you're going to want to sober up    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Seamen leaving ferries in Greek ports    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Police are hunting a Segway user who witnessed a sex attack. In other news, a Segway user has witnessed sex    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  New Jersey approves deer contraceptive. Stag parties will never be the same    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  ♫ Walked out this morning, Don't believe what I saw, Twelve Somali pirates knocking on my door ♫ I'll send an SOS to the world, I'll send an SOS to the world, I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle ♫  


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Andy Murray defeats Rafa Nadal 3-6 6-2 6-0 to capture the No Shiat They're Still Playing Tennis In October Open    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Rangers take a pounding from Fister, unable to clinch    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Brock Lesnar says he's open to "one last match" before dedicating the rest of his life searching the globe for his neck    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Professor uses chocolate to teach calculus. Can we learn about the value of pie while we're at it?    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Is_dead($who) { return(strcmp($who, 'Dennis Ritchie')); }    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  91% of all U.S. kids now play video games. 9% unavailable due to scheduled carpal tunnel surgery    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Fonzie's motorcycle from "Happy Days" to be sold at auction. Potential buyers encouraged to sit on it    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Kate Beckinsale is 38, on a scale from 1 to 10    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Emmy award winning journalist Anderson Cooper tackles one of the hard issues on his new daytime show: Psychic addiction. But first, on Springer: Jerry interviews former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Christie to jump on Mitt Romney bandwagon, which hopefully has been structurally reinforced    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "Orlando Unveils Barack Obama Parkway." It runs in an endless loop, cost $4 trillion, has quicksand in the median and the only exit is straight into the ocean    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Herman Cain's tax plan is based on SimCity, which explains his pro-llama agenda    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Netflix promises never to do that again. Claims it was drunk. Please, baby, come back    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Chevy introduces the Camaro ZL1, the most powerful Camaro convertible ever. And it comes in gray so it will match your mullet    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The drop-off in foreclosures killed off the main source of income for Florida's court system, putting it on the brink of bankruptcy and necessitating an emergency $45m loan. Ironic tag robosigns an affidavit with Florida tag's signature    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
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4 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-10-18 05:25:30 PM  
Some great headlines this week. Nicely done!
 
2011-10-18 06:49:46 PM  
Shave and a haircut. 6 Dead.

???????????
 
2011-10-18 07:12:47 PM  
I don't know if it met the classic definition of a clever headline, but I sure did like the "Could Fartbongo create a bongo so large even he couldn't fart it?" in the Politics tab.

Link (new window)
 
2011-10-18 08:36:32 PM  

allthesametome: Shave and a haircut. 6 Dead.

???????????


That reminds me of a really old one:

"Uh-oh, machete-oh"
 
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