Brazilians waxed and macaque attacks: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/14 - 8/20
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-08-23 7:01:04 PM (13 comments) | Permalink
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One more week down, and some strong candidates for Headline of the Year. For the TFers, there's currently an active voting thread for Headline of the Year candidates in TFD for March 2011. For those TFers who hadn't noticed the previous Headline of the Year preliminaries, they can be found here:
If you don't have TF, the combined quarterly threads will be put together around the beginning of December this year, so keep an eye out for them then. In the meantime, enjoy this week's selection.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-08-14 to Sat 2011-08-20:
Ugly-ass baby meerkat bastard is rejected by other meerkats, will be raised on scrambled eggs and porridge
What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do
Man speaks about shark bite. And I quote: "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
Woman steals $780 of Botox in her face. Suspect is expressionless. Repeat, expressionless
Online charter schools: At last, combining the social development of home schooling, the educational prowess of public schools, and the solid career path of Phoenix University
Paul Meier, father of the randomized clinical trial, dies. There will be two funerals, and neither mourners nor clergy will know which coffin contains his body
Girl attacked by macaque in Wal-Mart parking lot. Yeah, sorry about that
Brazilians waxed before they could fulfill missionary positions
The Arizona man who shot his penis with his girlfriend's gun now has a restraining order against her. Police warn him to take things slowly, and not go off half-cocked
Turkish Air Force finds some Kurds in their whey
Police and firefighters scrambled for suspicious package in police station parking lot...which turns out to be a cooler full of beer. Bombed squad promises to destroy it
Kobe Bryant offered $1.5 million a month to play basketball in China. For convenience, nine-year-olds will deliver his new shoes daily from across the street
NFL will soon hire female official. Male refs still unwilling to give up the remote control on instant replays
Yankees robbed by Royals. This is not a repeat from 1770
Scientists discover naturally-occuring agent that can keep food fresh for over a year. Wonder Bread, Hostess Twinkies makers prepare patent infringement lawsuits
University of Michigan creates world's fastest running robot. Forget Sarah Connor, get it a helmet and a playbook
Cats being used to calm inmates at Nebraska jail. Best results still obtained using cougars
Rapper's burned body found in SUV, police focusing investigation on music lovers
Gerard Depardieu escorted off passenger jet after going oui oui in the aisle
Mellencamp wife gets divorce, changes to cougar
Chairman of German political party resigns after stuffing the ballot box of a 16-year-old girl
Rick Santorum: "we have less freedom today than in 1776". No comment from Blacks, Women or Catholics
Former President Bill Clinton talks about his vegan diet. Curious, considering his affinity for eating cows
Shell sells sea wells to the sea whore
Health inspectors shut down Chicago Burger King after finding more than 200 flying insects. Some were small, some were big, some were real whoppers
Australian brewer SABMiller makes hostile $10 billion bid to take over rival Foster's. Everything in Australia always ends up being hostile when enough beer is involved
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