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Funked up at a George Clinton concert, quadriplegic skydivers, and one perfect Dr. Seuss headline: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 7/31 - 8/6
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-08-09 6:56:45 PM (9 comments) | Permalink

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4274 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2011 at 7:20 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Not too much in the way of new things to discuss this week, but some good headlines. The Sharpton one was my personal favorite, although being an NBA fan I also got a kick out of the Boston Celtics headline. Cheers to all you funny submitters, sometimes the queue can get sorta tedious and these are like little jewels that shine out of it. I wish you luck in the Headline of the Year contest.

Nothing else from me, but Drew told me he has a posting coming up tomorrow, so stay tuned for that one.

Until next week...

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-31 to Sat 2011-08-06:

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  After two weeks of raids, 460,000 marijuana plants destroyed by federal authorities. In related news, Krispy Kreme cuts profit forecasts 20 percent    
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  Sadly, rain is adding misery to Somalia's famine refugees. HOLD ON, TOM, we're getting word that two celebrities were seen wearing the same dress    
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  Nobody knows why the quadriplegic skydiver didn't pull the rip cord    
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  53 people were shot in Toledo in the last two months with three fatalities, making it the safest city to get shot in    
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  Blown transformer sparks fire, idea for new X-rated Michael Bay movie    
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  Restaurants turn to preparing whole animals. Not like Taco Bell, I mean on purpose    
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  Mourner spreads cremated remains during lightning storm, gets his ash handed to him    
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  National Clown Week being celebrated across USA. New festival coordinator has big shoes to fill    
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  MSNBC considering giving Al Sharpton his own show. Biologists wait with bated breath, saying it would be the first time a parasite ever became a host    
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  "Van man in the can who ran down man he thought he fought." He did not fight him in a box; he did not fight him wearing socks. He did not fight him in the air; he did not fight him anywhere    
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  Hacker group AntiSec declares war on US police agencies for arresting Anonymous peers. Yeah, big farkin' deal ... Hey, who unlocked all the cell blocks?    
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Sports:

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  Plaxico Burress signs one-year contract with New York Jets. Says he doesn't yet know the team's playbook, but is familiar with state's penal code    
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  Former NBA player Darius Miles arrested for attempting to carry a loaded gun onto a plane, despite years of evidence that he can't shoot    
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  New Zealand to field oldest "All Blacks" team in history, narrowly breaking the record set by the 2010-2011 Boston Celtics    
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Geek:

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  The 10 U.S. states with the slowest Internet speeds. Th..is l..in.k wa...s s..ubm...itt...ed fro....m M....o......n..t    
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  Researchers grow mouse sperm in the lab. It's refreshing to see scientists with a little spunk    
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  Georgia Tech engineers make vibrating glove that enhances sense of touch, says nearly blind spokesman while complaining about pain in his groin and hair on his palms    
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Entertainment:

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  President of PBS says the network is more rele--IF YOU'D LIKE QUALITY STORIES ABOUT PBS LIKE THIS ONE, PLEASE MAKE A DONATION NOW    
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  Shots fired after George Clinton concert. Four people funked up    
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  Soulja Boy's agent denies $55 million jet story, can't believe anyone thought his client had $55 million    
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Politics:

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  "Captain - we have an article detailing how Obama's policies favor black people, and it's ready to strike." ... "Very well, Number One. Make it so." ... "Mister Worfgarbl - prepare the photon derpedos"    
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  Glenn Beck relocating family to Dallas. Compared to most Texans, Beck will now seem soft-spoken and unopinionated    
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  Chris Christie about to be ejected, er, dragged slowly, from the GOP    
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Business:

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  FDA warns that morning-after pill, Evital, may be ineffective in preventing pregnancy, crying for Argentina    
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  Hitachi, Mitsubishi edge towards groundbreaking merger, iambic dipthong    
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  Belgium is the new Spain {which had been the new Italy [which had been the new Ireland (which had been the new Greece)]}    
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· · ·

9 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2011-08-09 07:21:28 PM  
Happy Birthday to me!
 
2011-08-09 07:28:17 PM  
Any more HOTY updates?
 
2011-08-09 07:31:04 PM  
Unfreakable, The Sharpton one was my personal favorite

Same here. Well done Sensei Can You See. That was good.
 
2011-08-09 07:35:01 PM  

Sensei Can You See: Any more HOTY updates?


No, I almost have February prelimiaries done, and it'll go to TFD tomorrow for voting. Will probably then set up March, April and May after that, but I can't let the subtab stuff slip too much. The real stuff on the main page for everybody will start kicking off the first week of December this year, and we'll have everything wrapped up by about December 15.
 
2011-08-09 07:42:34 PM  

violentsalvation: Unfreakable, The Sharpton one was my personal favorite

Same here. Well done Sensei Can You See. That was good.


Aw, shucks.
 
2011-08-09 10:14:51 PM  
Where is the Browns' Usama and the New York Jets?
 
2011-08-09 10:33:13 PM  

pgh9fan: Where is the Browns' Usama and the New York Jets?


Thurs July 28

these headlines cover 7/31-8/6
 
2011-08-09 11:54:43 PM  
This batch of headlines was great. Most laughs I've had since ... last week
 
2011-08-10 02:02:13 AM  
The Sports and sports-related headlines have really been on fire the past few weeks. Very much enjoyed the Darius Miles headline and the one from this week about a train and the Heat.
 
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