Piss-poor balance, Jessica Simpson's shunning muumuu, and nobody expects the Spanish inhibition: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/29 - 6/4
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-07 2:54:22 PM (4 comments) | Permalink
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No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-29 to Sat 2011-06-04:
Model and friend party in Atlanta hotel until they have a major falling out
Restaurant owner dead after his Model A crashes. Officials cited the lack of seat belts, crumple zones, airbags, traction control, and anti-lock brakes as contributing factors
Barcelona has such a problem keeping people clothed, they're actually levying fines against their citizens who insist on doing everything naked. Nobody expects the Spanish Inhibition
Video captures "UFO squadron" over Oakland. The group was disorganized and apparently harmless, leading UFO researchers to believe that Al Davis was in charge of it
Archaeologists find sealed tunnel underneath Teotihuacan temple, and like complete idiots decide to open it and release whatever unspeakable horror resides within
Man falls down embankment while urinating -- a clear case of piss-poor balance
Parents sue school when their precious snowflake is barred from graduation ceremony for printing porn from school computer. They should be proud he actually learned a useful life skill in school
Breast-feeding protest attendance sags, lacks support, and is mostly a bust
3-10 people shot in Yuma
Ohio considers boosting alcohol limit of beer to 18 percent, thereby helping citizens cope with reality of living in Ohio
Little Leaguer killed when pitch hits chest. Boy's parents, boy, heartbroken
Tressel divests himself from Ohio State
Congrats to Tony Romo for getting married. That's the only way you were ever going to get a ring
Shaq hints that he may join ESPN SportsCenter. If that doesn't work, he could always be a bricklayer
Sturgeon death highlights the stressful demands of modern fishicians
Astronomers release hot pics of Milky Way's twin. How you doin', NGC 6744?
Mastodon finds have Colorado ready to rock. *WICKED GUITAR SOLO*
Nick Lachey and fiancee throw wedding shower. Jessica Simpson dons her shunning muumuu
"How Pawn Stars Launched a Hot New Genre and May Earn Academy Respect." This article is interesting and would look great on my web browser, but I'm going to need an expert to take a look at it
Hayden Panettiere washes her hands of dirty Sanchez rumors
President of Abkhazia dies. Death Eaters inconsolable
Chris Christie, champion of cutting wasteful spending, arrives at his son's baseball game in a police helicopter. No word on how said helicopter managed to stay airborne
Former Senator John Edwards indicted for using campaign money to poll the electorate
Zillow aims to be the first one-letter symbol on the NASDAQ. Really? That's so interestiZzzzzzzz
Toyota recalls 106,000 Prius cars over a loose nut. Hasn't Al Gore suffered enough?
Asian stocks get plowed, require blurring out of the naughty parts
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